Chapter Thirty-One:
“I didn’t say anything,” I said, trying to play off what I just said calmly. Let’s hope countless years in the dramatic arts have paid off.
“You just said that you have a crush on my boyfriend,” Holly repeated, her lips starting to turn into a scowl.
“Are you okay, Holly? I didn’t say anything,” I tried again, really hoping she would just brush it off.
“Serena, I’m not stupid. I know what I heard.”
“Why would I have a crush on your boyfriend? He’s a jerk to me. I don’t even know why you would think that I said that,” I said, trying my very best to not run out of the room. I added a scoff. “Like I would ever fall for someone named Uranus.”
Holly didn’t say anything, but she gave me a look that said she still didn’t believe me.
After a few moments of us just staring at each other, with me trying desperately to keep a collected composure with Holly’s gaze boring into my soul, Holly finally spoke up, “Is that why you’ve been avoiding everyone? You feel bad about it?”
“What? No,” I quickly denied. “I didn’t say anything for Pete’s sake!” I told her, starting to get frustrated.
“Rena, I really don’t care that you have some feelings for Trent. I know you didn’t mean to, unless you somehow convinced Cupid to shoot you the butt yourself—anyways, that’s not the point. Okay, maybe it bothers me a little, but we have been together for a year.”
I stared at her for second. Did I hear that right? It didn’t bother her that much? How can it not? I have feelings for her boyfriend. Did she not hear me correctly? A normal person would go ballistic on me, but no, of course, Holly had to be a freaking saint about every single freaking thing.
“Why doesn’t that bother you? Shouldn’t you be telling me to stay away from him? That I am a no good, dirty whore? You didn’t even slap me!” I nearly yelled at her.
I wasn’t even the one who was supposed to get mad. She was. But she isn’t. I don’t even know why I am.
“Like I said, Rena. Having feelings for someone is completely an irrational thing. It’s not like you wanted to like him on purpose. I don’t understand why you want another reaction out of me.”
“Because I have a freaking crush on your boyfriend,” I answered her in exasperation. “Why the hell do you have to be so perfect?”
Holly looked taken aback by my reaction. “Rena—”
“No, don’t answer that,” I quickly cut her off. “You’ll just probably tell me more about your perfect personality, perfect looks, and perfect brains. You’ll tell me how there’s nothing wrong with your perfect life. Or how you have the perfectly alive parents. How you have the perfect friends, who are perfectly alive as well. No! You just go on with your perfect self and leave my flawed one alone. Your life is probably a lot more perfect without me in it.”
Holly gave me a pitying look once again.
There was something about that look that I couldn’t stand. It just made me snap. It was time. It was time for me to get her out of my life. I couldn’t stand being near her anymore. I couldn’t stand her pity, or her niceness. I couldn’t stand her annoying persistence of trying to get me to be best buds with her anymore. I just couldn’t.
“You are the most annoying person I have ever met,” I said evenly. “Why are you trying so hard to be my friend even though I clearly don’t want to be yours? You’re like a bug on my windshield that I can’t get off. The only reason I put up with you is because you knew my secret, but now I don’t even care. It’s not worth having someone so…so bothersome in my life.”
Holly looked confused and crushed at my words. She just stood there facing me with an expression that read “why…?” It wasn’t that much later when tears started coming out of her eyes and she ran off.
Suddenly, I felt horrible. Holly’s face. It was so sad. I felt as if I just kicked a puppy in the face just because I found joy in it.
I looked to my left and saw my reflection in the mirror.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I asked myself that question for the rest of the day. It was easy to blame it on Sherry’s death, but I felt that was just a wimpy answer. Had the stress of Holly knowing about the suit finally gotten to my head? No, I was never really that stressed about it.
“Maybe I’m just a horrible person,” I muttered to myself as I stared at my ceiling while I lay in bed.
“RENA! Do you want to see something?!” Kurt barged into my room, yelling.
“No,” I said flat out. “Get out.”
“But it’s really, really cool!” Kurt said enthusiastically, but then he started giggling and tried to cover it up with a cough and then smiled at me suspiciously.
I rolled my eyes at his sugar rush. “What is it?”
Kurt grinned evilly and took a can of Dr. Pepper from behind his back. “EAT FIZZ,” he shouted loudly and opened the bottle.
Expecting it to spray at me, I flinched away from it, but the can didn’t. Soda just poured from the can and to the ground.
Kurt looked shocked. “What?! I planned this out so carefully!” Kurt moaned, but then realization struck him. “I FORGOT TO SHAKE IT!” Kurt yelled in frustration and then face-palmed himself. “How could I be so stupid?” he pondered as he left the room, leaving the puddle of soda to soil my clean floor.
Idiot.
After cleaning up the mess on my floor, I felt like getting some fresh air. I quickly threw on a hat and left, not really in the mood to put on my suit. If anyone saw me, I’d just run and make them think they were crazy or something. I really didn’t care.
I walked for a while, carefully avoiding the way to Uranus’ and Holly’s houses, not wanting to be reminded of what happened earlier.
I stopped at an intersection to let a car go by.
Should I apologize to Holly?
Part of me wanted to, but another part didn’t. I should because the guilt is eating me away, but I shouldn’t because if Holly was mad at me, that took away half of the problems in my life. I wouldn’t have to be social anymore. And Uranus probably hates me already more insulting his girlfriend the way I did, so I could just avoid him all together and what feelings I had for him would die and that would leave me the way I was before anyone found out.
I forgot how easy it was back then.
I didn’t have to worry about anything. I didn’t have to look out after anyone besides myself and family. I didn’t have to worry about hurting anyone’s feelings. I didn’t have to deal with the stress of being social.
But then again, no pain, no gain. I would miss Uranus’s lame jabs against me and Holly’s genuine worry. I would miss Liam and his sweetness.
I shook my head. I probably screwed up all of that by hurting Holly. I don’t think she or Uranus would ever forgive me.
“I don’t know, Trent. What she said really hurt me,” a familiar voice said somewhere in the background.
I looked around, hoping that I wasn’t feeling so guilty about earlier that I started hearing Holly’s voice in my head.
Fortunately, I wasn’t just hearing things. I was at the park where Uranus and Holly were sitting on the bench. Unfortunately, Uranus and Holly were here.
I panicked and silently hid next to a bush, hoping they didn’t notice me.
“Was it really that bad?” Uranus asked her.
Were they talking about me?
Holly sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe I am overreacting.”
This was overreacting for her?
“How did you guys even get to that?”
I leaned in anxiously. Would she tell?
“I-,” Holly hesitated. Now I clenched my fist. Oh, dear God, is she going to tell? I thought she would have enough decency to keep her mouth shut. Oh, who am I kidding? I lost that decency when I told her she was bothersome. “We-I don’t know,” Holly answered and I gave out a sigh of relief.
Uranus gave her a look of disbelief. “Really? Or are you just saying that because it was about me?”
“Come on, Trent. Not everything has to be about you,” Holly said jokingly, trying to change the subject.
Uranus just gave her a look. “Holly, I’m being serious here. What did Davidson say?”
“You don’t need to know,” Holly muttered.
“Yes, I do! Is she spreading rumors about me?”
“No, Trent. I’m being serious. You don’t need to know!”
“Holly!”
“Trent!”
I rolled my eyes at their childish argument. Why am I still here? I kind of still do really feel bad about eavesdropping.
“You, know, it’s almost been two years?” Uranus said casually, changing the subject.
“Really? Time flies so quickly now. I can still remember when we met here three years ago.”
“You were such a klutz.”
“You were a jerk.”
“Hey! I helped you walk home.”
Holly sighed and looked up at the clouds. “Two years already?”
“Holly,” Uranus said, suddenly in a serious voice, and got up from the bench, taking Holly with him. “There’s been something I’ve been meaning to say, but I haven’t exactly planned out how or where to do it. But why not at the place where it all began?”
…Please tell me he’s not…
“Trent…”
“Holly Walkers, I . . ,” Uranus began looking Holly straight in the eye.
He’s only seventeen! Why would he throw away his life like that? I should stop him, stop him right now. I mean I knew Holly and him were serious but not marriage serious. But then again, this is their life. I really shouldn’t butt in. But if they got married right now, it would ruin them!
“I love the way you smile. I love the way it brightens my whole day. I love the way you blush every time I compliment you or the way you pretend not to hear me. I love how adorable and funny you can be. I love the way you’re always there for me. And. . .” Uranus paused.
Here it comes. I can’t just watch as he makes the biggest mistake of his life. I quickly jumped out from the bushed, but just as I was about to shout ‘I object’, Uranus said, “I love you.”
And then I fell into the rocks, trying to get down quickly. All that to say ‘I love you’? Geez. I hoped that they didn’t notice me.
Holly looked so shocked. She opened and closed her mouth like she trying to say something, but nothing came out. The last thing that came on her face was the look of pity.
The smile that was on Uranus’s face vanished once he saw Holly’s expression.
“I-uh-that’s—Serenahasacrushonyou!” Holly shouted quickly before she ran away in the direction of her house.
I could feel the color draining from me. What. The. Hell. What just happened? Why is that something to shout when running off? Why did she run off? They’ve been dating for two years. Shouldn’t she have been expecting that by now?
And then the look. The look on Uranus’s face. At first he just stared off after Holly, looking confused and shocked, but then it turned to a look of hurt. I felt goosebumps from where I was just by looking at the sadness off his face.
But then his expression conformed to that of anger. He fists were balled up and he stormed off, kicking rocks on his way.
I just stared at the concrete beneath as I sat there, my knees huddled to my chest. My secret, once again, had been brought to the light by Holly and Uranus.
What was going to happen now?
I really hate Thursdays. So much.
:::x:::O:::x:::
I thought it’d be over by now. The drama. But it wasn’t.
It was at about eight-thirty and I was moping in my backyard. Kurt had pestered me about everything, but when I refused to tell him, he stomped off offended and went to drink some Dr. Pepper.
And then I heard it.
“Look, kid, I already told you once. I DO NOT PANTS CLOWNS! Stop coming ‘round here like you know me, son. I’m too old for your shenanigans, you scallywag!” Benny shouted and then a door slammed.
That was preceded by banging on the door. “SANTA CLOWN! I SAID SANTA CLOWN!”
Sam? What was he doing here?
I quickly walked to the gate of my backyard and went to the front.
“Sam?” I called, looking at the dark shadow on Benny’s porch.
The shadow speedily bounded from my neighbor’s to my house and enveloped me in a bone-crushing hug.
“Santa Clown, hide me!” Sam begged me.
“Sam, what’s the matter?” I asked him as I led him to my backyard.
With the lights in my backyard I could see clearer. Sam was in his pajamas, shoeless, and he had a backpack with him. And his face was glistening from tears. Was he running away?
Sam hugged me tighter and started sobbing into my shirt.
“My brother is being mean! He-he came home and he looked so mad!” He told me and started crying again. I waited patiently, rubbing his back soothingly. “He went straight to his room and Aunt Sue told me to go get him for dinner, but—but I went in and he told me to get out. I saw him—he was so, so sad, so I sat next to him and asked what was wrong, but he told me to get out. So—so I told him maybe me could buy a spaceship so we could visit Mom and Dad to make him feel better—but-but he said,” Sam was cut off by his own sobs again, but I could already tell what was coming next.
“He said that Mommy and Daddy were dead!” Sam wailed.
My backyard was suddenly replaced by red. I was so angry that I was literally seeing red. I told that stupid asshole he’d have to tell Sam sooner or later, but I didn’t think he was that idiotic to tell him like that.
I was grinding my teeth so hard, I swear I was going to chip one.
“So, I ran away,” Sam finished.
“Sam, you really shouldn’t have run away,” I muttered. “Running away from your problems doesn’t really solve anything.”
“But he was lying, right Santa Clown?” Sam asked innocently, breaking away from the hug and looked at me.
I didn’t reply. I didn’t have the heart to.
My silence was answer enough for him and his crying started all over for him. I felt the sadness emitting from him. Though I felt like crying, I couldn’t. It was like I was done. I felt numb.
“Hey,” I said, squatting down to Sam’s height. “Even though they might not be around anymore, they’re always still in your heart, right?” I asked him, poking him in the chest.
Sam just nodded, through tears.
I turned him around and pointed at the moon.
“The moon’s always here too, reflecting the sun’s light. So if you keep remembering them, like how the suns always shining, they’ll always be there, looking at you, like how the moon always catches the sunlight.”
Sam turned around again and wiped off his tears. “But what about solar éclairs?”
I stared at him for a second. Oh, eclipses? Dang, this kid is too smart.
“Ummm,” I said unintelligently. “Let’s go watch some Pokémon.”
“Can you make cookies?” he asked cutely, giving me the puppy-dog look.
I nodded and he gave me a small smile and rushed inside.
I was about ready to kill Uranus.
:::x:::O:::x:::
Author's Note:
I'M SORRY! SO, SO SORRY!. I just haven't had anytime because of school and stuff. I even missed my thousand fan marker!
I'm so thankful for all my fans and readers who have had the patience to deal with my horrible updating skill.
And sorry, this is short, but I'm having trouble thinking for this story.BUT OHHHHHH EMMMM GEEEE HE KNOOOOOOWWWWWS. And AWW, Sam found out.
Very rough chapter. Be back later to edit. I just felt like I needed to give you guys this as soon as possible.
BYE