Helloo..
Surprise..
special.. Nothing.. Just wanted to give an update to my busy busy but lovely readers..
Dedication goes to
Lets get back to our special update of rakesh..
Rakesh pov.
I never thought my stupidity can make a girl suffer this much.
May be what vikram said is true.. I can never be able to make people who love me happy.
That day when i said we will start freshly.. Her doubtful expression made me want to kill myself.. I thought its difficult to explain my feelings.. But with her its very difficult..
When she accepted and hugged me.. That moment it felt like my home is in her embrace.. The peace i lost till now.. I felt like i regained it. When she kissed me on my cheek and ran to wash room.. I was on cloud nine.. It felt like every obstacle between us was over and we can live happily peacefully and enjoy the moments lovingly.
But that mallika aunty, she ruined everything.. When she said my swetha had an affair i was beyond shocked. How can she say nonsense about my wife. My anger was at peaks.. I literally controlled myself not hurt her physically.. I really wanted to slap that mouth of shit.
When she left, mom.. I dont know what she is thinking.. But iam quite sure she is in deep thoughts believing her words.. She is always like that since my childhood.. Always believing all the shit others say.. She wont listen to her dear one's at that moment. Later she regrets her attitude.
I dont want my mom to hurt my wife at that moment so i took her from there to bangalore.
Swetha.. She was broken and fell down crying.. Why cant she say it loud that there is no such thing.. Why cant she yell at her and make that mallika aunty's stupid mouth to shut.? why does she have to cry like that, like she had done a big mistake. Her silence made the situation more worst.. I thought everything is fine.. My family is completely happy.. But it didnt last not even for one day..
Through out journey swetha is silent.. She kept on crying. She looks like she want to say something.. I didnt want to talk with her at public place because she might burst out crying loudly.. I dont want to create a show infront of other. So i kept calm through out journey. Thinking how to make her calm.
After coming home, she stood in the hall like a culprit.
I gave water to her to drink, so that her worry might decrease a little bit. Then i asked her what is bothering her.
Her question made me chuckle. I said that i dont want to believe all that stupid rumours.
But i was beyond shocked when she said she loved a guy.
*****
"Ask what ever is in your mind" i told her with gentleness.
"Dont.. Dont you ask me anything?" her words stutter and fear is visible in her eyes.
"What do you want me to ask? " he asked her looking directly in to her eyes.
"about what mallika aunty said" she said looking down.
I lifted her chin and made her look in to my eyes and said "i believe you.. I dont need anyone's opinion about you.. "
"i.. I.." she felt uncomfortable looking into my eyes and she looked down with tears falling..
Why she is acting like she committed some crime..
"i loved a guy" she said holding my hand on her chin and pulled them down while looking into my eyes..
What...!!! My eyes widened hearing her words..
My swetha.. In love with other guy??
That feeling made my heart clench.. But i realised.. Its loved.. That means in her past.. Dont i have any past??
"Okay.. " i said trying be casual.
"okay??" she asked me with worry and confusion.
"then what do you want me to do? To start beating you? To scold you with abusive language?" i asked her knitting my eyebrows.
She looked down.
"or to leave you giving divorce?" i asked her. She looked at me with wide eyes and her tears made its way down to cheek.
I sat beside her and held her cheeks then wiped her tears with both thumbs.
"loving a person can never be any wrong. If it is then iam the first person to get punishment" i said placing my right hand on her shoulder holding her trembling hands with my left hand.
"and i know.. In this era, i dont expect a girl with out any past love or crush. So its okay to love a person" i said.
"But.. Because of me, you and your family reputation is at stake" she cried loudly saying those words.
I made her cry all the time.. But she.. Here is thinking qbout my reputation.
"this society dont have any nerve to blame a guy.. So they always blame the character of a girl. If they blame yours then it indirectly mean mine too.. So never give importance to what society says.." i said holding my both cheeks.
She nodded.
"Thats good girl.." i said removing my hands.. She looked at me.
"as you said accepting the past in its way is what i too will do.. So leave everything and take rest. I will order food for both of us" i said and later pushed her to go and fresh up.
She nodded and went..
*****
That day i can never forget..
May be i took advantage of her..
I just wanted to kiss her to remove all her worries.. So that she can believe me and my words that i believe her and her past doesnt matter to me.
But when she said please.. Holding her hands infront of me.. I felt like iam forcing her again..
Then i realised.. She needed some time and space to remove her worries.
I gave all the space she wanted as i got busy with project work.. As Arabind got dengue fever.. He is on sick leave.. So all work burden left on me.. I became too busy with office work, but i never neglected her.
I tried every possible way to make her smile. We never stopped the rule of breakfast we started. But at nights she used to wait for me with empty stomach. I asked her to eat and sleep at regular time as i have spare key.. I can come home even if its late..
One day.. I got a call from vikranth..
*****
"wah.. Finally.."
"hello.. Vikranth.."
" ohh.. U remember me?? I thought u forgot us" sarcasm is audible in his voice
"sorry vikranth i was busy with project work.. Nothing personal" i said
"will u meet us or not??" he said with seriousness
"why cant i? Its u.. Who cancelled last time remember??" i said remembering how he cancelled the get-together at our home.
"heyy its because.. Priya's parents came all of sudden.." he said trying to cover himself with reasond
"yah.. Yah.. I remember.." i said smiling
"how is swetha??" he asked after few seconds of silence with seriousness in his voice.
"she is fine" i smiled remembering her.
"i think she is avoiding us" vikranth said. His voice felt like he was disappointed.
"i dont think so.. She had such a forgiving heart" i said.
"then can we meet.. I mean last time varun said that he saw her and she too saw him but ran away from us.. I said may be its his illusion. But he is damn sure.. " vikranth said.
What.. Isnt she my wife?? I should get that illusion.. What is swetha to varun..?
What the hell am i thinking..? I know both.. I shouldnt think in such a way..
"now are you both fine??" he asked
"Hmm yah.. "
"how was london??" he asked me suddenly.
"you know??" i was surprised
"yah nams called us and said everything.. She is in contact with vaishali it seems.." he said
"Oh.. "
"iam waiting for u to tell.. But u are not at all opening.." he said like iam keeping lot of secrets.
"noo.. Its.. Just.." i was about to say something to cover up.. But nothing came out..
"its okay.. Iam happy that u realised ur love for her.. I too shouldnt have yelled at her.." vikranth said with sadness and guilt.
"its okay vikranth.. She will forgive.." i said.
"then how about a get to gether dude??" vikranth voice changed to excitement.
"iam busy this month so may be after project submission" i suggested.
"just inform prior.. So we will arrange something surprising for u both" he said
"Haha.. Okay.. "
Okay.. Catch u later.. Bye. "
*****
But the minute she said she is not willing to meet my friends.. I understood that she is unable to forget that goa incident.. Infact the whole past.. Ofcourse its haunting.. I lost the appetite.. So i left it in the middle..
Then that night.. I understood.. She just didnt forgot the past.. She is still in the past.. She is trying to give me a chance.. But her negative thoughts still haunting her..
I thought of giving her space as she needs time.. But she seems to be afraid of my touch.. I dont know how to explain her..
I woke up to the movements beside me.. Swetha's apprehensive face expression and her struggling movements..
I think she is having some bad dream..
"Wake up.. Wake up" i tried to make her come to present world from her dreadful dreams..
She jerked away from me with fear upon opening her eyes.. Her eyes started forming tear films..
"please leave me.. Iam not vaishali" she started crying and still trying to remove my hands on her.
I was shocked looking at her like that..
She is having dreams that iam forcing on her.. Ofcourse she will because i forced her..
Tears automatically left my eyes looking at her like that.. I hate myself.. I removed my hands from her and moved away..
May be she needs really long time to recover.. But i will be patient.. Till she is okay.. After all iam the reason for her present state..
"Iam not doing anything to you.. I will never touch you without your permission.. Its just a dream." i said and went away to sleep in other bedroom.
From then.. The way i speak with her became careful.. Like what ever i say might hurt her.. I am afraid that i might hurt her.. But we still continued the same routine..
Hope u are not bored.. Because iam bored with this chapter.. But i dont want to remove it after writing it.. Thats one reason iam giving it as special update other than my usual Tuesday routine..
Thank u for ur patience in reading..
Meet u in our regular tuesday..
Till then bye.. ❤️