"Hurt, I can't shake
We've made every mistake
Only you know the way that I break"
c l o v e r
Well my night of being a rebellious teenager didn't go as planned. You know when you're really excited for something, and actually just go for it and then something bad happens, and you realize you shouldn't have taken the risk? Oh you do? Me too!
Do you also know anyone who used to be like your family and the only person in the world you could trust, and suddenly they just turn on you and are a complete asshole?... oh my gosh twinsies!
I wish there was a way to see into someone's head, see all the dumbass thoughts that go through that empty thing.
Why am I so mad? Who me? Oh I'm just peachy, Devine really. All because of a wonderful asshole that shall not be named.
*cough* Sin *cough* asshole.
Let's take a peak into last night shall we?
"Cover your ass up right now."
Shit.
I turned around on my chair and faced a seething, dark eyed foreigner.
"Aren't you supposed to be somewhere eating spaghetti and pizza?" Uh oh. Prego boy didn't like that from the way he slammed his hand down on the counter, with a tight jaw. I could tell he wasn't in the mood for my jokes.
He chuckled unamused and Oscar moved in front of me blocking half of him from my view.
"Hmm and you're supposed to be sucking off Tony, no?"
The glass from my lemonade slipped and shattered to the floor as my hand went weak. The air went thick and there was no longer anyone around me. Just a tight throat and my own grit teeth to keep me company. I forced the water away from eyes but it didn't seem to work as my thoughts began to roam.
How could he suggest that? Bring up bad thoughts and memories? Has he forgotten at one time he let me cry in his arms every night, he came and found me every time I ran away, he made sure I actually ate everyday, he told me I was the only family he had? I guess it's time to forget.
"You fucking son of a bitch."
I couldn't hear, move, or even react. I felt his hands on my arms and legs. I felt his fingers running through my hair. I felt every punch, kick, and punishment all over again.
I felt rivers cascade down my neck and chest and I jumped out of my skin when a hand grabbed my shoulder. On instinct I gripped the persons wrist, and hopped off the stool while twisting it. A grunt of pain brought back my senses and I let go of Luke while apologizing profusely.
I continued to apologize while sobs interupted each word, and I heard grunts of pain and glass breaking behind me. I turned and saw through blurry eyes two figures punching each other on the ground.
But all I could think about was him.
So how did your night go?
Because mine went just dandy.
I don't know how long I've slept. All I know is I'm in Lukes bed, with my suitcase on the edge of the bed, and no clue how I got here. All I remember is beginning to hyperventilate and not being able to do anything but sob. I didn't allow myself to get oxygen and I must have passed out.
I remember immediately after hearing his words feeling exhausted and weak.
The sun is peaking through the tiny crack of Luke's curtains and I sat up feeling my raw under eyes. With the slightest touch my skin stung from how much I must've cried last night. I hate crying over that bastard. I don't hate many things. When you hate something, a piece of you just becomes hateful, and dark. I don't want that.
I gulped grimacing from a dry throat and feeling like my tongue was sand paper. I stood up from the bed on weak legs.
You know after you've cried a lot, and it's just mentally and physically exhausting?
I'm still in my night gown, minus the coat. I walked to the door slowly with a straight face feeling like nothing could make me smile at this moment. Everything is just so gray.
I opened the door walking slowly to Luke's living room. He has a small apartment but it's nice for someone who doesn't have a job. How does he pay for it? It's a secret I guess.
Luke was in the kitchen which I could see from the living room, and Oscar was on the couch with a zip lock bag of ice cubes on his cheek or eye, I couldn't tell. I walked towards Oscar until I stood next to him and he moved the ice and looked at me. His lip was swollen, his eyebrow busted open, eye swollen shut.
"I'm so sorry." My apology came out raspy and quiet but he accepted it with a nod and flicked his hand in a way to say 'it's nothing.'
"Hey you're up." Luke spoke gently behind me and I turned around to see him. He was holding a glass of water and handed it to me. How did he know? I took two large sips soothing my throat and thanked him.
"How long was I -"
The bathroom door opening and slamming shut loudly cut me off and everything went silent when he walked in the room. I looked away from him and towards the ground while everything went into an awkward silence.
How could I forget Sin and Luke were friends and actually liked being around each other? Of course he would be here.
"I have to work." I said but I doubt anyone heard it due to my voice being almost silent. I didn't know how I would get there, hopefully Luke would take me, because Oscar can only see out of one eye. "You have a disease remember." Oscar slightly slurred with his busted lip.
"Ew what the fuck, is it contagious? You slept in my bed." Luke squealed and took a few steps away from me and stood behind the recliner. A slight smile almost made it's way to my lips.. almost.
I just wanted to be out of here. Get some fresh air.
"I'm gonna go for a walk." I glanced up slightly to see Sin blocking the hallway to Luke's room. I kept my head down and crossed my arms over my chest as I made my way over to him, and slid past him squeezing myself to the wall to avoid contact.
"You're an asshole." I heard faintly, although I don't know who said it or who it was directed towards.
As soon as I closed Luke's door I took in a big breath of air and exhaled calmly while walking towards my suitcase.
It's pretty nice out so I could wear anything I guess.
Leggings are my babies so I grabbed one of the hundred pairs of black leggings laying them on the bed. I moved the curtains back to get a better look of the weather, and judging by how much the tress were swaying, it's probably chilly. I realized I didn't pack a hoodie, but I didn't mind, Luke had tons of them. I opened his closet, and pulled his varsity football hoodie off the hanger.
I slipped my leggings on and took off my nightgown, throwing it messily on my suitcase. I sprayed on some deodorant before slipping on the hoodie, smelling Luke's cologne and shampoo. I slipped on my vans and left my hair in its messy waves before leaving his room.
The hallway was clear this time, and I was so glad for that. I lost my phone last night so I wouldn't have any music to listen to during my walk but I guess thinking, and sorting through my messed up thoughts would be better.
Before leaving out the door I glanced in the kitchen calling Luke's name. I shook his sweater that I was wearing letting him know I had it on. "I hope you don't mind." His eyes went wide and I suddenly felt bad for taking it without asking. "Keep it, I cant catch anything, it's football season." He said eyeing the sweater.
Oscar chuckled looking funny with the ice against his face. "We know you don't catch anything during the season." Luke pointed the spatula he was using to burn the eggs with and sassily snapped back at him.
I walked out of the door before I could listen to them bicker like the old married couple they are.
I walked around the city, I didn't realize it was that late until an hour into my walk the sun began to set. The sky looked like it was lightly spray painted in pink, blue, and purple strokes. I want to take a picture but of course I lost my phone. Remembering it will make me appreciate more I guess.
Whenever tony came to the home upset and let out all his anger on his punching bag (me), I always waited until I was out of his sight to cry. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I was in pain. I always went to the same spot. Cheesy I know. Abused girl has a crying corner? Yup.
I continued to walk and walk until I reached the huge abandoned building. Whoa, that sounded a lot creepier than I wanted it to. It's just the old gym where boxers and mma fighters did all their training until a new upgraded gym was built.
I guess when the people who owned the building left they never locked it up or anything so anyone can get in to it. I've always wanted to paint some cool things on the inside until I realized that would be graffiti. It has some metal stairs that led up to the roof where you can sit and just look at the sky.
It reminds me I'm alive. I'm breathing. I'm here. I'm a person on this earth, and one day I won't be, so I need to take advantage of it.
Life is just too damn short. It seems short when you're happy, and too long when you're sad. So why does it seem so short to me?
I walked into the building that was pitch black with little light peaking through the very high up windows. I glanced around surprised to still not see any art of street artists. I would've thought this would be like a perfect canvas for them to just go crazy on.
I walked up all the steps until reaching the door to get on the roof. Once there, I felt like I was on top of the city.
I walked to the very edge and jumped.
Lol gotchya. That would have hurt? Duh.
I walked to the edge and sat just behind the little foot high ledge and rested my elbows on top of it. I held my head in my palms and admired the place before me.
I've seen so little of the word, I wanna see more of it.
This is so cheesy. Girl sits on roof top thinking about life and looking at the city lights.
Jesus clover who have you become?
I chuckled shaking my head at my thoughts.
What if I jumped right now? I could land it, easy. But I'm not gonna try..
The sunset started to get lower and lower on the sky line until it just disappeared. I stood up starting to get cold, and decided that was enough alone time.
Once I turned around the door to the roof just closed, like slowly so someone was trying to be silent.
Okay clover.. that didn't just happen. You didn't just see that. Stop trying to scare yourself stupid bitch.
I walked to the door and opened it and I felt like my hearing was like on super charge when I heard footsteps. All the hair on my body stood up, and I stood a little straighter. My eyes directed in the direction I heard them and I gulped beginning to walk down the stairs.
I tried to be as silent as possible until I reached the bottom. Someone must have heard me because suddenly footsteps ran across the floor and the door slammed shut. I sprinted to the door that led out side and swung it open shooting out of the building.
A huge tall figure was was running down the street at an astonishing pace until it turned a corner, and I couldn't see them anymore.
Forget that ever happened?
Sounds good to me.
My eyelids became heavy and sleep sounded really good at the moment. I started to walk back to Luke's apartment with a new mindset.
I'm eighteen in less than three months. Then, I'm traveling, mom and dad left me some money, I'm gonna see the world. I've had a pretty shitty last ten years of my life, I'm gonna make the next sixty years sick as shit.
I arrived back at the apartment and just pushed open the door due to it being cracked open. Yelling. Non-English yelling to be exact. I walked into a shit fest. "What did you just call me cock sucker?!" Oscar yelled angrily in the Italians face who had a smirk on his face.
Luke just sat on the couch watching- watching stranger things? Acting like nothing out of the ordinary was happening.
"Oh clover! Sit, sit, El is about to do her mind thingy on the demogorgan!" Luke smiles like a little boy watching the show as the other two continued screaming at each other.
"Lu lu.. what's going on?" I asked watching as Oscar screamed in Sins face only to be called every bad word in the Italian book.
"Oh nothing much, Sins dad called, Sin went cray cray and forgot English I guess, he pulled a gun out and shot my ceiling, and almost Oscar too. You didn't miss much don't worry." I stared wide eyed at him.
Heh?
★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★
I hope you all liked this chapter!!!!
Vote and comment pretty please with a cherry on top
I love you allllll so so much!
Mwah💋
-L