I rolled up to the boys dormitory and numbingly knocked on the door. I closed my eyes and prayed that Joey would be answering the door. I desperately needed a comforting soul that wasn't Justin right now.
I relieved a deep exhale when I spotted Joey pulling the door open. "Hey! How was your exam?" He asked knowing that I'd been out of my mind since the early morning.
"Okay" I responded, but it came out wrong, like a cry for help.
"What's wrong?" Joey's shoulders lower, he pulls me in the door, and then wraps me in a hug. "It's okay if you failed! There's always other tests to help boost you up! One stinker isn't gonna blow your score, don't sweat it," He explained trying to comfort me.
I shake my head at the ground. "I didn't fail" I almost shriek.
Joey lifts up my chin, "Then why why are you on the verge of tears?" He pulls me in for a one-armed hug and walks me toward the den.
Half-way there, Justin steps out of his room. His eyes instantly fall on me and his face is smothered in concern. "What happened? What's wrong? Did you fail? It's okay, it's not the end of the world-"
"I didn't fail!" I restate, then correct myself. "Actually, I did. But I guess that doesn't really matter considering I'm expelled from this school" I sarcastically smile with tears threatening to soak my cheeks.
"Woah. Woah. What're you talking about?" Joey asks confusingly.
Justin doesn't even confirm his thoughts. He knows what he's thinking, and he knows he's hit the issue on the nose. "I'll be back. Don't go anywhere." Justin calmly says before grabbing his sweater of the chair and jogging out the door.
Joey stood there, puzzled . "What's his deal? And what's your deal?"
I took a moment to regain all my thoughts, adding a heavy sigh to complete my processing. I explained to Joey what had happened. All about how I'd forgotten about my test and spent all day cramming information into my head. I mentioned how tense I was and that I had decided to take a couple muscle relaxers. When I told Joey the name of the medication, he was shocked at why I took such a strong pill. Apparently, I only needed half of one to calm me down. I decided to conveniently leave out the fact that Justin was the one who supplied me with the drugs. The last thing I needed right now was Joey going off on another one of his anti-Bizzle speeches.
My phone vibrated around the same time that I'd finished explains and answering all the questions Joey had. I picked it up and glared at the lock screen.
New Message:
From: The Boy That Gets You Wet
Come down to the Dean's building. Now.
I almost choked on my own saliva after reading what Justin had put his contact name under. I was surprised at how anonymously he swapped our numbers considering that he rarely ever even used his phone.
"Who is it?" Joey asked peering his head over my shoulder. I held my phone against my chest so he couldn't read the name.
"Justin." I swallowed, "Um, I have to go to the Dean's building? I'll see you in a bit." I grabbed my coat. I heard Joey call out something behind me but I couldn't make out, so I just kept walking out the door. I make my way down campus, a million thoughts crowding my inner conscious. This couldn't end well.
When I make it to the door, I'm almost out of breath. I'm not sure if it was because of my quick hike to the building or because I could actually feel my heart beating against my chest. A little bit of both I presume.
I knock on the door with the tag stuck to the frame that says, Dean: Richard Blocs. The door finally opens and I'm greeted by a tall man in a black security suit. "Mrs. Saxton?" He asks. I nod me head vigorously before he makes way for me to step in.
I walk in to the Dean, sitting on his desk in his big chair. Then I spot Justin in the corner, his hands are behind his back, and there's a guard standing beside him.
"What's going on?" I ask in panic when I notice the handcuffs on Justin's wrists. Justin shakes his head at me, basically telling me not to speak.
"Mrs. Saxton. I had your friend over here contact you to return to my office so we can discuss your retreat expulsion" The dean speaks. I nod my head slowly, retreat? "Now, normally, any unprescribed drugs on campus is resulted in removal from the school. However, it seems we have a . . . slight exception policy. After Mr. Drew Bieber explained to us what happened, we've decided to set you off with a warning" He explains.
My expression is dumbfounded. I glance at the shackles on Justin's wrists once more. "Then why is he in handcuffs?" I ask growing upset when I start to mentally piece together exactly what was happening.
"He needs to be taken downtown for some questioning. Expulsion is the colleges way of punishment but slipping substances into someone's drink is a situation that needs to be dealt with by law" The dean explains simply.
I furrow my brows, "Slipping substances? What?" I mutter to myself. Then it hits me like a storm. I glare at Justin and he flashes me an innocent grin. You're probably wondering how one could be mad at that precious face of his, but I had a whole mouthful to unleash on him.
"What the hell! He didn't slip anything into my drink!" I tried to set the truth forward. "I took those pills on my own, because I thought they'd help calm me down before my test! He had nothing to do-"
"Don't listen to her!" Justin cut me off and tried to step forward but was tugged back by the guard standing behind him. "She's just trying to cover for me."
"Stop!" I cry at him. "It's the exact opposite! He's trying to cover for me!" The thought of Justin getting pinned for this made my stomach sink. I couldn't imagine him getting expelled on my behalf! Where would he live if he can't stay on campus? He doesn't have family to scurry home to! The majority of his life is right here, including his street fighting.
"Alright. If you two don't agree on a story, you'll both be expelled" The Dean says becoming frustrated with our bickering.
Before I can think of solid proof to prove my point, Justin's five steps ahead of me. "Dean Richard, do you know who she is? Have you seen her records? She's got a clean slate, a straight A student, there's not one blemish on any record of hers! Now look at mine. Do you honestly believe I'm not capable of spiking a pretty girls drink so I can get laid?" Justin lays down his defense. The dean glances at Justin disgustedly.
I find myself fighting with my own lips to spit a response up, but I can't think of a single thing to say that will top what Justin just pronounced. I spit out a few mumbles, but nothing completes my unfinished thoughts.
The dean stands from his chair and places his hands on the desk assertively. "Okay then, you've made your point. Mrs. Saxton, I understand you'd really love to help your friend out over here, but covering for him won't work. Our team is sharp as a tack, we'd know if he was lying."
I closed my eyes and took a moment to drown in the irony of his comment.
This couldn't be happening. I can't really think of a better outcome, no matter what someone was leaving campus. But I'd much rather it be me than Justin.
"The controversy is over. Mrs. Saxton, if you could please step out of my office so we can finish business here?" The guard that was standing by the door, pulls it open, gesturing for me to leave. I glance back at Justin. I didn't even know what facial expression to pull towards him let alone what words to tell him.
"I'll probably need a ride from the station. Call Joey?" Justin finally speaks under his breath. I nod my head and proceed out the door. It only takes me 15 minutes to sprint down campus, convince Joey to drive me to the police station, and arrive downtown. When we get there, Justin's still in the interrogation room.
"I don't understand why this is necessary. I'm perfectly fine. I'm obviously not pressing charges. What's the questioning for?" I ramble quietly to Joey sitting beside me on a plastic chair.
Joey shrugs, "Probably because he's already on probation. He could end up right back behind bars, Mila" Joey manages to bum my mood out even more.
I plow my head into hands and life my knees on the chair and up to my chest. "But he didn't do anything."
We sit there silently for another half hour. I eventually move to the floor when the wobbly plastic chairs become too uncomfortable for my back. My knees are crunched up against me and my head is pressed back on the wall.
The metal door finally cranks open after another half hour of agonizing waiting. Justin steps out of the room and signs some clipboard that the cop holds out in front of him. I watch his weary eyes travel to Joey and I. He attempts to creep a smile up, but his face looks drained. He's shaken up.
I stand up immediately and Joey does too, "Are you?" I whisper not knowing what I'm asking.
Justin nods his head, "Yeah, let's get out of here" He decides. I run up to him and plant myself in his arms, holding him tightly.
The car ride is completely silent, only the tires on the road are heard for the majority of the drive. Until finally, Joey breaks the ice, "Well Bizzle, where are you headed?" he asks glancing through the rear mirrors to see Justin in the back seat.
"They said I can spend the night on campus and move my stuff out tomorrow" He speaks staring out the window. Joey nods his head and speaks no more.
I shake my head upsettingly, "Why the hell would you do this?" I creak looking straight forward at the open road.
"Because it's my fault" he blankly answers.
"Not it's not. I took the pills on my own. There's no reason for-"
"I kept you busy all weekend. I made you forget about your exam which made you stressed out. And then, I gave you drugs to help cover my mess which only made it even worse." Justin explains after cutting me off mid sentence.
"You gave her the pills? Dammit. I knew it" Joey slaps the steering wheel and his eyes shift to me.
"It doesn't matter who gave me the pills! I'm a grown girl. I knew what I was doing, I took them through my own conscience" I fight back, but nobody responds after that. We just leave the conversation at that.
Back on campus, we walk towards the boys dorm first. The front of the building is lined with several large steps leading up to the door. We stand at the bottom of the steps, the late night silence of campus sets the mood.
I turn to Joey, "Can we uh, can we have a minute?" I ask glaring at the floor. Joey nods, plants a kiss on my head, pats Justin's shoulder and then heads up the steps.
The campus is practically dead at that moment. Justin and I stand there alone, in the silent night. I don't know what I want to talk about. I don't know where to begin the conversation or where it will end. All I know, is that I hate seeing him so silent like this. I like when he talks to me, but there's not much to talk about is there?
"If you're going to ask why I did this, again, I don't wanna hear it." Justin declares. He drags his feet across the ground and sits on the lowest step of the cement staircase.
I exhale sharply, feeling my breath in the cold air around me. I follow his lead to the steps and plant myself beside him. "Where will you stay?"
Justin shrugs, not making eye contact with me, "I dunno. The house I guess."
I shake my head, struggling to string along my next words, "See this is exactly my point! I don't want you to stay in that house." I turn my body toward him.
He finally turns to me, eyeing me down with his puppy dog brown eyes. "Mila, I'll be perfectly fine. Besides, I need to be close enough to attend my matches. Not many options."
I question him, "But you're not allowed on campus?" He smiles at my comment.
"I'm not allowed to do a lot of things" He says with a snicker down his throat.
I shake my head once again. "What am I gonna do with you, always getting into trouble" I giggle. He laughs and the pattern of his breath surfaces into the air. I lean myself onto his shoulder and rest my head there once we stopped giggling.
* * *
The next morning I scurry off to my daily routine of work at sunrise. The cafe is calm and warm, unlike the frozen, windy, weather outside. I brew a large pot of fresh coffee and take the muffins out of the oven, placing them into the glass display case. Justin strolls in later on in my shift, just as he usually does. He pulls of his motorcycle helmet as he walks in, shaking his hair wildly to give it a looser effect.
A little boy hops up from his table and charges at Justin, he stands his tiny body directly in front of him. "Hi Mr! Your motorcycle is so cool! I told my grandpa that I want one just like that when I get big like you."
Justin glances down at the little boy who's only as talk as Justin's knee. "Well thanks buddy." Justin glances over to the table where the boys grandparents sat. He wavers permission to sit with the little boy and the grandparents agree. Justin scoops him up in one hand. He walks him over to the front counter, places the kid on the stool, and then sits beside him. "I'm Bizzle," Justin introduces.
"I'm Aaron! I want to be just like you when I grow up!" The little boys enthusiastic voice fills the small room. Justin looks up at me, giving me a look of unsureness. He completely ignores Aaron's compliment.
"Coffee please, black" Justin states to me and I nod, turning away to pour him a cup.
Aaron sits quietly, staring at Justin, basically admiring him. I slide the coffee cup to Justin and watch him take a quick sip.
"Bizzle," Aaron's innocent voice surfaces, "Can I hold your helmet?" He asks glaring at the shiny red head piece. Justin smiles and nods, placing the helmet in Aaron's lap. "Woahhh" Aaron admires rubbing on the helmet.
"You can wear it if you'd like?" Justin offers and Aaron's face lights up. Justin takes the helmet and properly places it over Aaron's head. Aaron hops off the tall seat and begins running around the small cafe. He puts his arms out in front of him, as if he's on a bike, and he makes engine noises with his mouth.
Justin laughs and turns his attention to me, "Cute kid." He states and I nod in agreement.
"You're pretty good with kids, surprisingly" I cover my mouth instantly after making that remark. "I didn't mean it like that-"
Justin chuckles and lowers his head, "Nope. I get it. I wasn't treated right as a child so why would I treat a random kid better?" His voice is full of vein.
"That's not what I meant. " I sheepishly retreat. It really had nothing to do with his past, he just didn't seem like a guy who would be so well with children.
I struggle with my tongue to spit out the right words but Justin's over the situation before I can compute an apology. "So, when's your shift over?" He asks sipping his coffee.
I sigh rigorously, "Linda should be coming in for her shift any minute now actually." I respond. There's a clatter of a fallen chair and a loud bang following it. I shot my head up at Aaron who'd knocked over a tall chair and got himself tangled up in it. Justin hopped off his chair and retrieved the little blonde haired boy. He carries him back to the front counter and removes his helmet.
"You did good little guy, next time make sure to use those breaks when you turn, alright?" Justin giggles when Aaron nods with much enthusiasm. Justin picks him up and sets him on floor, pointing ahead to his grandparents so Aaron can return to his grandparents.
I wipe off the counters as Justin finishes the final few sips of his bitter coffee. "Did you drive Joeys car here?" Justin then asks, handing me the cup to place in the dishwasher.
I nod, "Yep. I really need to invest in my own car though." I pull my apron off when I notice Linda pull up outside in the parking lot.
"Well until then, you wanna help me move my stuff? I have a few things on my motorcycle but I can only carry so much on there. There's not much stuff though, it'll probably only need on trip." He explains.
I dust off my pants and circle around the counter. "Yeah I can help!" I offer.
Justin nods and slaps his helmet on, "I'll be seeing you here kid, huh?" He asks looking at Aaron. Aaron admirably nods his head. Justin walks over to him and scruffs his hair a bit. We walk out the door and head back to campus.
The door unlocks after Justin slides his room key into the locket. I follow him into the dorm and we're greeted by Travis. "Sup, Trav" Justin 'bro-hugs'.
"Hey Travis" I gleamed after.
"Yo!" He responds to the both of us. "So Bizzle, you finally got kicked out man. Not gonna lie, I thought this day would've came much earlier" Travis laughs at his playful insult. Justin shrugs his shoulders like he's accomplished something great. "You stayin' at that party house?" Travis then asks. Justin nods his head and leans up against the kitchen counter.
"Yeah, I brought Virginia along to help me make one quick-trip moving. I'll see you at the match tonight though?" Bizzle asks and Travis nods surely.
Travis disperses into his bedroom and I follow Justin into his own bedroom. The room is rather messy and there's two boxes sitting on the bed. Joey's still in class right so he's nowhere to be found.
"Okay, these are my clothes, I got this box. Can you grab that one for me?" He asks pointing to the smaller box filled with personal items. I nod my head and lift up the box, it's a lot heavier than it looks.
We carry the boxes to the den and I already start to feel my fingers slip off the end of the box. A little trinket box falls out of my load, "Hold on, hold on" I called to Justin who's walking through the kitchen. I try to snatch the item by kicking it out in front of me and then stretching one arm down to pick it up, but I end up dropping the whole box. Thankfully, it lands upside, so nothing spills out nor breaks. Justin sets his box down in the kitchen and jogs over to help me up.
"Really, you couldn't lift this box more than six feet?" He laughs pulling me off the floor. "I should've just had you carry my pillows." I sarcastically laugh at his comments and pick the box up, placing it on the couch, but of course with my luck; it tips again and a few items fall out this time. There's a knock on the door and I call to Justin that I'll get the door, while he picks up the fallen items.
I open the door to a blonde girl in a push up sports bra and thin leggings. "Bizzy!" She calls, not even acknowledging me as she walks past and enters the dorm fully.
"Cassandra!" Justin calls back, but I can tell in his voice that he was a little unsure of the name he had called out. It truly amazed me how many girls he'd been with, he could barely remember their names.
Cassandra stands near the kitchen and leans her body over the counter. I walk back in, to Justin's side. "So, talk of the campus is that you're leaving?" She says grabbing a bottle of beer off the counter and cranking it open.
"I'm always talk of the campus, aren't I?" He rhetorically asks watching her closely. I roll my eyes incisively. I watch this Cassandra chick tip her body like she's in the middle of a photo shoot. What is she even doing here? "Well, can I help you with something?" Justin finishes picking up the spilled box and puts it back on the couch.
"No no," she twirls the end of her hair with her finger, "But we are having a going away party for you, after your match tonight. It'll be at Kinker's" She invites.
"A strip club? Really." He chuckles eyeing her up and down.
"Your favorite place" Cassandra adds and Justin messes with his hair a little.
I feel overwhelmed to keep my mouth shut and not make this bigger than it needs to be, but come on. Would you stand there silently and watch a half naked, model sized women flirt with your boyfriend? Didn't think so.
"Will you be working that shift?" I cock my head and eye her sleazy body. She could honestly pass for a stripper.
Apparently Cassandra didn't like my full proof comment, or the fact that Justin that let out a snorting laugh. "Ha. Cute." She sarcastically remarks, "Who is this underdeveloped child, anyway? Your little cousin?"
I cock one brow at her and her fake smile. "Actually, this is Mila, my girlfriend" Justin interjects. My palms go warm at the fact that I believe this is the first time Justin's ever referred to me as his girlfriend.
Cassandra chokes with a giggle, "Girlfriend? Bizzle? Those two words just don't go together." Cassandra frowns, "Kinda like your top and pants" She then attacks my wardrobe.
I flare my nostrils and feel my cheeks heat when Justin grabs my fisted palm. "At least I have a shirt on." I grumble, "Is there somewhere I can donate money for the needy and help you get a shirt over your head?"
Cassandra's proud smirk turns to a repulsive growl. I tilt my head and childishly rub my winning in her face. Justin looks utterly entertained. Cassandra rolls her eyes bitterly, "What and ever. I'll see you tonight Bieber. When you get sick of your pedophile relationship, I'll be waiting" She smiles.
There's not a thing I hate more in this world than being referred to as a child. Actually, scratch that, I might hate that my boyfriend is totally checking out the witch who just called me a child. However, before I can think of a witty remark, she's on her heels and marching out the door.
I cross my arms and roll my eyes until they feel as if they're going to fall out of my head. I was slowly growing tired of these random girls showing up at every corner and treating Justin like a piece of meat.
"Don't be a little green monster now" Justin comes up from behind me and wraps his arms over my shoulders.
I push him off me and step away, "Oh please, the only thing there is to be jealous about, is the fact that she probably makes a little more cash then I do on her full time stripper duty" I scuff and then march over to the cardboard box on the couch. "Or maybe the attention that she grasps from you while you're standing right beside me." I add picking up the box.
Justin grabs the box from my grip and places it on the table behind him, "Are you seriously mad at me? I didn't do anything!" He defends upsettingly.
"Exactly! You didn't do anything! You let one of your play bunnies waltz in here and take a shit all over my confidence while you stared at her thong through her leggings!" I huffed. I don't know where that came from, but I was so glad it had bouncer off my chest. This wasn't the first time I'd run into one of his old buddies who made me feel like complete trash compared to them. I guess that's my fault though, my own self esteem issues, not him.
"You were just as much of a bitch to her as she was to you?! I didn't think you needed backing up." Justin tenses himself when he speaks.
"You still could've said something! Do you understand how heart crushing it is to walk on campus and hear your boyfriends name in every other conversation you happen to hear as you pass? I'm not saying it's your fault, I'm just saying a little support wouldn't kill you. Or at least keep your eyes to themselves." I explain to him. I don't know why I had suddenly become so upset, but I had triggered something in myself that couldn't be healed by anyone but myself. And he was right. Jealousy.
"You know what? Fine. I'm sorry, better?" Justin snaps and turns around grabbing my designated box. He stacks it on top of his other box and attempts to lift them both.
"What're you doing? You're gonna hurt yourself." I call taking a step toward the kitchen where he is.
"I got it. I'll see you later tonight." He angrily demands before picking up the boxes and heading for the door. He kicks his foot outward and opens the door for himself. Justin's clearly not good with speaking out about problems. He just marched off before we had even spoken for a few minutes after it began.
The room is suddenly quiet and I bring one hand to my forehead. Was I really in the wrong? Any other girl would be just upset as I am! I just don't think Justin fully understands that. He's never had to deal with jealousy or complications, it was just one hook up after the next. And it's like he walks out as a way to cope with his anger, so he doesn't do something he'll regret later. I'd never dealt with this type of situation either. The closest I've ever got to jealousy is my Junior year when Joey started hanging out with his new girlfriend more than me. Not because I wanted him in that way, but because I felt like I was losing my best friend.
My eyes fall on a little black journal hidden halfway under the couch. I picked it up, assuming that it had fallen out of Justin's box. It looked familiar, I had seen it somewhere in Justin's dorm once and I think I've spotted him writing in it a couple times as well. It has a little strap on the cover that ties the book shut.
I slide the strap down and glare at the blank cover. Should I open it? Read it? What if this is something I really don't want nor need to see. It could be a tracker journal, for money or other things. I brush my fingers against the spine of it. A little peek won't hurt?
Monday March 2, 2009
I don't know why I'm writing in this. My mom bought me it as a birthday gift. She told me that since I act like a little girl, I should write like one too. I really hate gifts. The last birthday gift I got was when I was 7, from the nurse at the hospital. She gave me a toy motorcycle and I told her I was gonna buy one just like it when I grow up. She was a nice lady. I wish she was my mom-
"Whatchya got there?" I snapped the jounral shut and tucked it behind me in panic mode. I calmed myself when I realized the voice only came from Travis.
"Just a book." I shrugged keeping it right between my fingers and out of Travis' sight. I doubt he would even recognize it if he got his eyes on it, but better safe then sorry. "Well, I'll see you tonight. Bye." I make my exit short and quick.
I feel a little guilty that I'm basically stealing Justin's private journal, but he is the last person I'd ever expect to have one of these; that raises my curiosity more than anything. The dorm is empty when I return, but I presume Vicky will be back soon enough to prepare for tonight's fight. I lay under the blankets in my bed and read a little more of the journal. There isn't entrees for every day, but there's about one each month. It seemed as if Justin only wrote when he could get away from his parents. I imagine a young Justin sitting on the roof of their house, watching the stars, and jotting down in the little book.
Sunday May 10, 2009
I don't like talking at home because there's always a consequence. I miss school and my friend Joey. Every time I write in this I feel like I'm talking to him, even though I never told him that my parents hate me. This blank book is like a friend to me. I really hope no one ever reads this. I hope I get away someday and never have to be reminded of these days.
I stop reading in the middle of the page and slap the book shut. The guilt overtakes me and my breath becomes unsteady. I shove the booklet into my side-bag and zip it shut.
By 9 o'clock Joey, Vicky and Travis are back in the room and ready to leave to the match. I put my bag around my shoulder and keep it attached to my body. By the end of the night, I need to return it to him.
We all head down to the boys dorm and wrap around the building to the alley. The old sewer tunnel is opened by Travis and we all climb in one by one. The tunnels are like a maze down there, Justin always tells me if you keep your right hand on the right-side wall the entire time you walk through, you'll find your way out. We were down the second hall when I spotted Justin sitting against the wall in the lane way. He looked tense, but jumped up when he spotted us . . . or me.
He flung himself at me and slammed his hard jaw into mine. He kissed my like it would be the last kiss he'd ever give.
"Okay then. I guess we'll see you in there." Joey stated once Justin finally pulled away.
The gang kept walking and eventually reached the crowded bar where the fight would go down in less then 10 minutes.
"Is everything okay?" I ask considered as to why he was in here and not in warming up.
He nodded his head, but then turned the nod into a shake. "No. I don't know." He states right away.
I shook my head, "Are you nervous about the fight?" I asked and he glares at me as if that was a completely foreign question.
"What? No!" He responds in shock.
"Then what is it?" I question.
"You know what, doesn't matter. I'm just so happy you're here" He smiles and places his hand in mine.
"Of course I'm here." I bounce up and plant a kiss on his cheek. Justin glares at me for another moment. He doesn't say anything, he just looks down at me with a semi-creepy grin on his face.
"Yo Bizzle! You're up!" Stefan was the announcer at all of these little battles. He was the guy who stood in the middle and announced each opponent with a fair amount of enthusiasm, although we all knew he was Team Bizzle.
The crowd is loud and obnoxious as usual. They're chanting random phrases and stomping on the ground to hype up the event more than it needed to be. I was honestly surprised I hadn't gone deaf after being at these matches every now and then. Thankfully, since Justin was the champ, every match was held here. It was some tradition apparently. There were drinks being passed around and teens/young adults getting ready to hopefully win the bet that they put on the fighters tonight.
Justin's shirt comes off and his mouth piece goes in. He wraps tape around his knuckles and stands between the red lines. His hair is flopped down perfectly, effortlessly. Another boy steps into the circle and throws a couple air punches. He's bouncing on his feet and ready to get down and dirty. As usual, Justin isn't phased by any of it.
Stefan pulls his wooden chair to the center of the circle and ready's for his duty. "Ladies and gentleman of Memphis University! Welcome to yet another, fight night!" The crowds cheers are constant. "We got Jack Stein over here and his crowd of crazy college fanatics from Vanderbilt University in Nashville!!" Stefan points over to the opponent and high fives him. The opposite side of the room cheers with support. "And for our home rep, the champ continues his reign! Boys hang onto your ladies, because it's BIZZZLE THE BULL DOG BIEBER" Stefan's voice echoes but is quickly washed out by the heaps of screaming viewers.
Stefan moves himself and his step chair out of the center of the the circle. Justin, unexpectedly, leans back and plants a hot one on me. The crowd "ooooo's" and cheers while my cheeks go red. Is there anything they don't cheer for?
The match begins and it lasts a but longer then expected. Usually these things don't last longer than 1 or 2 rounds but Jack put up a nice fight. He managed to waver into a third and final round but was still knocked out in the ending. Without getting a single touch on Justin. Justin's reflexes and focus amazed me sometimes.
The crowd, as usual, screams and throws beers into the air as celebration. Justin hoists me up onto his back and lunges through the crowd to the old bar. He placed me up on the counter, "Gimme something strong and something sweet for my lady" Justin demands the part time bartender.
"Yes, Sir Bizzle" The boy chokes like a fangirl and immediately gets to making the drinks. Justin hands him a 20$ bill as a tip. Since this boy is basically working of tips considering this isn't exactly a real bar. I wonder where he even gets these drinks from?
I sit on Justin's lap while he sips on his bourbon. There's no music nor entertainment but these college goers found anyway and everywhere to throw a party. That Jack kid walks by with a bloody nose and swollen lip, he marches out the normal entrance after being squeezed by a bunch of thirsty girls.
"You totally could've ended that round one," I look over my shoulder at Justin who laughs in agreement.
"Yeah but what kind of entertainment would that be? People come to see a good fight, but also expect me to win. I gotta mix it up" he shrugs. I shake my head at his ability to actually make cocky look attractive.
Joey joins us several minutes later and congratulates Justin on his victory. Then he runs back off, trying to get his flirt on with a couple girls at the other end of the bar.
"So . . . you gonna tell me what was bugging you earlier?" I decided to indulge on the gentle moment. I'm sure is was nothing that was too big of a deal, considering Justin got over it within a couple minutes.
Justin furrows his bushy eyebrows and lifts me off his lap to the stool beside him. I twirl on it for a second, letting my feel dangle, and letting him recreate his thoughts. "It was nothing really. I just-First I thought you were mad at me because of earlier. I didn't mean to make you upset, I'm just, knew to all this?" He excuses himself,"But then you came and that overwhelmed my fear of thinking that you gave up on me. I know I'm a bit of a handful" He explains shrugging and then chugging back ore of his drink. "Besides that, I kinda misplaced something that's important to me when I was grabbing all my things in a rant back at the dorms. Karma huh?" He chuckles shaking his head.
My eyes widen and I swallow contently, "Did you, uh, did you check the dorm for your misplaced item?" I obviously act feeling the tension grow on me. He had to be talking about his little journal.
"Yeah, I did. But it was gone. It's not that important, it's just something I want to keep with me." His finger slides across the rim of his glass.
"Oh right." I guiltily run my hand threw my messily braided hair. "Well what was it?" I genuinely ask.
Justin hesitates but answers fully, "Just an old book, journal type thing. Sentimental value." He soothes.
My palms grow sweaty and I'm in need of a deep, dark hole to crawl into. Although, I suppose we're all currently in a hole under a dorm building. Justin's distracted by another one of his groupies complimenting him on his fight. I tangle with myself, what should I do? I should just tell him. It's here in my bag, I'll tell him and then I'll hand it to him. I doubt he'll be mad, I don't even have to tell him that I read the first couple pages. Then again, I might as well just stay on the truthful path.
"Um, actually Justin, I-"
Before I can plead my case a familiar looking blonde haired boy steps up to us, "Nice match Bieber." The boy I recognize as Evan says, "And nice rack" He then comments peeking down my shirt. (A.N: If you don't remember Evan, turn back to chapters 5 & 6)
"Back off ass-wipe" Justin stands up and shoves Evan a step backward. I pull the front of my shirt up and gawk at him is disbelief. He didn't seem like the Evan I had met a couple times before.
"Or else?" Evan tests. Justin's eyes focus in on him and not surprisingly, a crowd draws in.
"Justin, drop it. People are staring" I whisper close to his side and tug at his arm.
"A-B conversation sweetie. C your way out of it" Evan riddles and I roll my eyes dramatically.
"Come on" Justin mumbles to me, his jaw is tightened. We take one step in the opposite direction, but did you really think it'd end there?
Evan pulls Justin's arm back, "Where you going Bieber? You gettin mad? Wouldn't want to lose that temper of yours."
Justin weakly caves in, turning himself at a raging speed toward Evan. Out of now where, Joey hops in between the boys, he pushes Justin back with his shoulders. "Bizzle, bro! It's not worth it. Turn around. Keep walking." Joey lectures.
Justin's calm, but tensed at the same time. His fist is crumpled and his jaw is clenched, but he doesn't make another attempt to charge at Evan. He just mysteriously watches him. Almost the entire room was looking our way now, and creating a circle around the main event.
Justin joins my side, backing off his urge to knock Evan out. Joey turns to Evan, "Really dude? Can't you just fucking grow up?" He curses. Some idiots in the crowd 'oooo'.
"Come on Bizzle!" Evan completely ignores Joey's comment. "You gonna walk away champ?" Evan pushes.
I'm on my toes now, afraid that at any minute Justin's gonna burst. His hands are almost white now from squeezing in his fisted palm. He only glances back over his shoulder at Evan, then takes another step with me beside him.
But Evan doesn't quit. "Alright fine. Walk out."
Justin ignores Evan and pushes through a couple people as we're walking along the bar. I'm linked to Justin's hand as I step close behind him.
"Make sure to jot this down in your diary" Evan wickedly calls. Justin's feet dig into the hard floor and he freezes in place. My face crashes into his back since I wasn't paying attention to his every move. "I've never known what love is suppose to feel like. I've spent years trying to figure that out. To feel wanted? To feel needed to someone else, it sounds too bizarre-" Evan recites.
The crowd begins laughing and snarling under their breathes as Evan read. I turn back to face Evan. Justin doesn't. The blood in my body drains when I spot Evan holding Justin's little black book. My eyes shoot to my bag, it's open and I'd bet every organ in my body that Justin's journal is missing from my bag. And is now in the hands of Evan.
"My own parents never even wanted me. So how could it be possible for a complete stranger to? Or for anyone else to?" Evan howls with laughter as he reads.
Justin finally turns around and takes one sharp lunge toward the Evan. Joey, still standing between the two, grabs him out of the way. Travis shows up from behind and grabs Justin back to, while Evan holds up the book with laughter. "Where'd you get that from?!" Justin's deep voice alone sends shivers down my spine.
Evan chuckles again, "A little girl from Virginia" Evan comments as if I handed him the book myself. Justin's eyes shift to me, but his eyes aren't screaming anger anymore. Now he just looks desperate for an explanation. "Any who," Evans eyes fall back on the journal, "And was I suppose to love them back? That seemed even dumber than the idea of someone loving another in the first place. Love isn't real. People "fall in love" so they can have a partner to start a new chapter with. A partner to lean back on. A partner to gain a greater reputation, power, or wealth. There's no such thing as love."
Justin's pushing and pulling himself out of Travis and Joey's grip at this point. Some of the crowd is cracking up with Evan. Others are shaking their heads. Some are taking videos. It's overall mania. "Alright jack ass, gimme the book back" Justin grits through his clenched teeth.
"But then I won't be able to read the best part" Evan dramatically turns the page and starts from the top. "Her. One girl. That's all it took. Her dark hair and sweet eyes. Her intelligence and carefulness. Even her lack of carelessness was jaw dropping. She was my kind of perfect-"
I'm too memorized comprehending the words Justin wrote, that may very well be about me. The next thing I know, Justin's throwing a wide punch at even Evan, Joey and Travis are attempting to haul him backwards, and the crowd acting more obnoxious then a group of kindergardeners out for recess.
I've never seen Justin as angry as he is right now. His head is steaming, his skin is hot and his eyes are piercing. Evans on the floor, trying to recover from his possible broken jaw. Joey and Travis keep their arms tight on Justin but he's constantly shaking them off as he stares down at Evan. Everyone in the room is screaming and gasping. Waiting for someone to take the next move. I can tell by the look in Justin's eye, he knows that Travis and Joey can't hold him back. He knows that if he makes one full force effort he could get their grip off himself and have a one-on-one with Evan, but he's not moving. He's staring. He's in a trance, fighting with his inner self. He's deciding. He's going over the pros and cons of what he's about to do.
I don't have it in me to watch him hang his head over Evan with such power. Even though Evan is a complete jerk, he doesn't deserve what he's about to get. And most certainly, Justin doesn't deserve this. He's going to end up regretting it, anyone would.
So I hold my breath and watch as Justin's brows turn in and his look goes evil. I do the only thing I could think of that would pull him out of this state. A distraction. I walk right up to him and stand before him. As I suspect, my presence doesn't even phase him. So I swing my arm back with the greatest force I can, and I slap him right across the face.
His head snaps to me. Joey and Travis let go of his arms and gape at me in disbelief. Justin's eyes go bug eyed as the whole crowd is basically going crazy. I'd gotten his attention, that's all I needed.
Justin looked around him, as if he's unaware of where he is exactly. He glares at Evan on the floor, who's actually laughing. Then he glares at me. Without saying a word nor expression in response he pushes his way through the crowd and out the door.
I grab my bag and Justin's journal off the ground beside Evan. I pray that god forgives me for this one, because then I gather a mouthful of my own saliva and spat it right on Evans face. The crowd cheers and throws things in the air once more.
"You gonna be okay?" Joey quickly asks as I pass him on my way out.
"As long as he is." I swallow.
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Sorry for the delay :(
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