ugh when did i go so soft?
~
Lexi
~
I exit the elevator with Billie on my back, her arms wrapped around my neck and my hands holding the backs of her thighs. We're all smiles after the day we had, and they're extra wide knowing I'm not leaving now.
"I still can't believe Devon's crusty ass really thought he'd get away with that shit," I say with a chuckle and squeeze Billie's thigh. "Especially with fuckin Nancy Drew on the case."
"What can I say? I'm pretty brilliant," Billie says smugly and I chuckle, but it cuts off when we turn the corner to see Devon walking out of one of the rooms with his bag.
Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
He looks up and his face quickly changes from neutral to angry before he spits, "You better fix this shit. I ain't going home."
Billie taps my chest to let me know she wants to get down so I let go of her thighs and let her jump off my back.
"Yeah you are," she says firmly and crosses her arms as she glares at him. "You shouldn't even be here in the first place."
"You forgetting our little deal?" he asks and raises a brow, and I see Billie tense a little. I run her back reassuringly and she glances at me, relaxing when our eyes meet.
"You know what, Devon?" she starts while looking at me then turns to meet his eyes again. "I don't fucking care. Be a little bitch and go to the press, be that asshole."
He looks caught off guard and I smirk proudly. Damn I love this girl.
"It'll ruin your career," he tries to scare her but she just shakes her head.
"My real fans will stick around, that's all I need," she says confidently and he opens his mouth to respond then closes it dumbly, at a loss.
"You're gonna regret this," he says and steps closer, so I put myself in between him and Billie which makes him stop in his tracks.
"Walk away," I say firmly and he glares down at me.
"And what if I don't?"
I roll my eyes, "Quit acting like you're some big man and walk away. You're not gonna do shit," I say dismissively and he raises a brow.
"Oh yeah?" he lifts his fist and takes a swing, but I see it coming from a mile away.
Oh I'm so glad he swung first.
I duck out of the way then surge forward and tackle him, sending him flying to the carpeted floor which he hits with a thud and a groan. Like lightning I'm on top of him and don't hesitate to deliver a swift blow to his face, smirking when I hear the familiar satisfying crack of a nose and see blood start to pour out almost instantly.
Damn I've missed fighting.
I pull my arm back to land another punch but Billie catches it and holds it back, preventing me from doing so.
"What the hell?" I snap and turn to look at her, instantly softening when I look into her eyes.
"Stop, don't take it farther than you should," she says while Devon groans in the background under me.
"He swung first."
"I know, and you swung once to end it. Leave it at that," she says and I sigh softly but listen, letting my arm go limp.
I look down at Devon who's a groaning mess after just one bunch. Pussy.
"You ever even think about doing anything to mess with my girl again, I won't be so nice next time," I warn them get off of him.
"Fucking psycho, I'll call the cops for this!" he rages and I just chuckle.
"Yeah well you swung first and I have a witness and security cameras to prove it, so have fun with that," I say, completely unbothered. "Let's go, princess."
I offer Billie my hand and she happily takes it, both of us stepping over Devon to get to our room.
"You're gonna regret this," he warns but neither of us respond as I unlock the door and walk inside, slamming it behind us.
"How did you sleep with that asshole?" I ask with a laugh and Billie groans.
"He wasn't like that when we were hooking up, I swear," she says then let's out a shaky sigh. "Aight, I should probably go on live and clarify a few things."
"You gonna tell them about the abortion before Devon does?" I ask and she bites her lip nervously then nods.
"I want it to come from me first if it has to come out."
I nod slightly and give her hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'll be right next to you. Always," I remind her and she leans into me. "I love you," I whisper then kiss the top of her head.
"I love you too," she mumbles and rests against me for a moment longer. "Alright, lets do this."
She pulls away from me and walks over to the bed, which her laptop is resting on. I follow her and we both kick off our shoes then crawl on the mattress.
"Can you-"
"Yup," I cut her off and sit back against the headboard then spread my legs for her to sit between, already knowing what she wants.
She grins at the action and sits down between my legs, leaning her back against my chest. I wrap my arms around her waist as she opens her laptop and goes to Instagram. She hovers over the life button for a while, so I kiss her shoulder gently.
"You got this," I whisper, and a moment later she presses the button.
Instantly, thousands of viewers start to join, and it only takes a second for the chat to be absolutely flooded.
OMG HI
BILLIE I LOVE YOU
COME TO BRAZIL
OMG THEYRE SO CUTE
I chuckle as I try to read the messages as they come in, but they're much too fast to read all of them.
"Hey guys," Billie says and does a little wave at the camera. "I, uh, got some news."
We already know you're dating Alexis that ain't news sis
I snort when I read that message and Billie laughs when she sees it, "Damn they must've spread those pictures quick."
Nah we just knew months ago
^^^
Yeah y'all ain't slick
You gay?
"No, I'm not gay. I don't really have a label," Billie answers and leans into me more. "Unless you're asking Lexi, in which case yes she's very gay."
I chuckle, "True."
Y'all dating or just smashing? Aka is Alexis taken?
I laugh loudly when I read that one and Billie huffs, her eyebrows furrowing together.
"Yes she's very taken," she says firmly and I place a kiss on her cheek.
"Happily taken," I add then joke, "Though I'm not opposed to thirds."
Billie slaps my arm before saying quickly, "Well I am so shut the fuck up."
What's your news if it's not your relationship?
Billie turns her head to look at me when that message pops up and I give her a soft smile and reassuring nod. She looks into my eyes deeply for a moment then let's out a little sigh and looks at the computer again.
"Let me start by saying this is something I wanted to keep to myself. It's private, it's personal, and it's not something I wanted to put on blast to the world," she prefaces and lets out a shakier sigh. "But someone I once thought cared about me is trying to use this information against me. As in blackmail, which is illegal for the record. So fuck you, Devon," she says and I raise my brows in surprise when she calls him out by name.
Omg I thought she was dating devon
wtf i'm scared
hollup we gotta go kill him for you? say the word
👀👀👀👀
Billie takes a deep breath and I hold her even tighter against me for reassurance, which seems to calm her down a little bit.
"This year I had an abortion," she says and the chat explodes. "Despite the fact we were careful and always used protection, we were part of the small percentage of people who got unlucky and it didn't work," she expands and I lace our fingers together when her voice wavers.
"It wasn't an easy decision to make. I thought about it for a while, it kept me up. At first I was leaning towards keeping it, but that changed when I told the father and he completely cut me off without a second thought. Eventually I realized as much as I love the thought of being a mom one day, that day isn't today, and I made the choice that I still believe was best for myself, my body, my mental health, and my career. And if any of you have so much of a problem with me doing what I want with my own damn body that you decide to stop listening to my music; I won't miss you. You're entitled to not like the fact I had an abortion, but that doesn't change the fact I'm entitled to do what I want with my fucking body."
She lets out a heavy breath when she finishes and I squeeze her hand firmly while leaning closer to her ear to whisper, "I'm so proud of you."
She relaxes against me more then speaks again, "Anyway I wanted you guys to hear that from me before the asshole trying to blackmail me leaked it to the press. If you're sticking by me, I love and appreciate you always. Later, guys."
With that, she ends the stream and shuts her laptop.
"Baby, that was amazing," I say and rest my forehead against hers when she turns her head to look at me. "How are you feeling?"
"Scared," she says honestly. "But also relieved it came from me and not Devon."
"It's good you got ahead of it," I nod and reach up to cup her cheek comfortingly, which she leans into while her eyes flutter shut.
Her phone buzzes and she picks it up to read the message, and I smile when I see that it's from Finneas.
FinnFinn: proud of you little sis. bravest person I know.
She smiles softly and another one comes in, and then another one.
Mama Bear: so so proud of you for speaking your truth. Do you want dad and I to fly out for a few days?
Daaaad: well spoken. the next few weeks might make you start to question your decision, but try to remember you own words. everything you said was true, and no part of you should ever doubt doing what was best for yourself. love you kiddo
More and more messages of support from her family and friends flood in, as well as one from Chris letting her know that he's proud of her for taking control of the situation, and that he's sorry he didn't know about what Devon was doing.
"I'm just glad I don't have to go through these next weeks alone," she mumbles and I squeeze her tight.
"You never have to go through anything alone, princess. You're stuck with me forever, so there's at least one person," I point out and she nuzzles into my chest.
"Forever. I love hearing that."
"Well good, because you're going to be hearing it a lot."
The next few weeks off tour go by quickly. Despite Billie's 'controversy' taking over the news and a lot of people having some not-so-nice things to say about it, as if they have the right to, Billie's career remains unaffected. Every night is still preformed in front of a sold out crowd who sing along with glee and scream their 'I love yous' as loud as ever. Her songs stay high up on the charts and her streams, views, and follower counts continue to climb.
Eventually, the media starts to move on to other things. Some celebrity had a baby, another went to rehab, Donald Trump did something idiotic again, and before we knew it Billie's abortion was out of the headlines.
Which brings us to today, which is a day I've been both looking forward to and dreading. We're finally flying back to LA, which is exciting because I get to see my friends and my dad for the first time in months, but it also means tour is ending in just a couple more shows, and I've been having so much fun that I don't want it to end.
"You excited to get home?" Billie asks as we wait to go through security together.
"Yeah. Especially because we can start checking out apartments together," I reply and pull her close.
Whenever we've found time over the last few weeks we've looked online at apartments together, bookmarking all the ones we want to visit when we get home. We both agree on our top choice, so we're hoping we can pull off getting that one.
"I wanna tell Finneas but I don't wanna jinx it," she whines and I nod in agreement. Our first choice is in the building directly across the street from where Finneas and Claudia live, which makes it even better.
I pull away from Billie when one of the TSA agents motions her forward, and she walks through the metal detectors. We make it through security and onto the plane without issue, and before we know it we're touching down on the tarmac in Los Angeles.
I stare out the plane window with a smile, feeling at home as I see the familiar skyline in the distance. I definitely missed LA, but I wouldn't say I ever got homesick. My true home was with me the whole time.
"I don't want to go to separate apartments," Billie says with a pout as we walk off the plane with our bags.
"Well I promised Dad and Darius they'd see me today, but I can come over later and sleep over," I say and she perks up.
"Please do."
"Done."
We get the rest of our luggage from a private baggage claim then walk out of the airport with Finneas, Claudia, and Chris. We walk out the doors to a swarm of paparazzi, but look straight through them until our eyes land on some familiar faces.
Billie's parents are waiting in the arrivals area, and beside them is my dad and Darius. Chris' husband is with them too, their son in his arms.
I grin and run over to my dad and Darius excitedly, ignoring all the press yelling at me to give them a statement.
"There she is!" my dad grins and wraps me up in a hug when I reach him, followed my Darius wrapping his arms around both of us.
"I missed you guys," I mumble while I hug him back tightly and they both mumble back little 'I missed you toos'.
I pull away from my dad after a moment to give Darius a proper hug, and relax in his arms to savor it when I realize just how much I missed him. I pull away after a while to see my dad hugging Billie, and I smile to myself at the interaction.
"My turn," Patrick says as he walks over to me and I grin, opening my arms wide for a hug that he happily gives me. "Thanks for taking care of Billie while she was away," he whispers and I almost immediately get emotional.
To say my relationship with Billie's parents has been turbulent would be an understatement, but we're in a good place now. And damn, does it feel good.
When he pulls away I barely get a second to breathe before Maggie crushes me in an even bigger hug, and I chuckle as I hug her back.
"Wow, okay, hug Alexis before your own son," Finneas jokes and I laugh as I pull away so Maggie can hug him tightly.
I walk over to Billie and she pouts as she looks up at me, making me chuckle, "I'll see you in a few hours, princess."
"Too long," she mumbles and I chuckle, just focusing on her while dozens of cameras click around us.
"I'll call the realtor and set up an appointment to check out the place tomorrow before soundcheck, how's that sound?" I ask quietly and she grins excitedly.
"Sounds perfect."
"You're perfect," I counter and press my lips to hers softly before she can reply. Even more cameras go off and I pull away with a sigh. "I'll kiss you properly later."
"Can't wait," she grins and pecks my lips one more time before we part ways.
I spend the next few hours catching up with my dad and Darius at my dad's house, telling them the ins and outs of tour. My dad has never even been on a plane, so he's most interested in hearing about all the traveling around I did.
"I do have some big news," I say after a while and bite my lip to try to hide my shy smile.
"Well spit it out, idiot," Darius says and I roll my eyes while reaching into my pocket to pull out a little velvet box.
"Is that..." my dad trails off, his eyes widening.
"Yeah," I breathe out and smile nervously. "I'm gonna ask her."
"I better be your best man," Darius days quickly and my dad slaps his chest.
"Fuck you, I made her, I'm the best man," he argues and Darius scoffs
"No way, you already get to walk her down the aisle. Plus, best man is in charge of the bachelorette party planning and it would be weird as hell if her dad planned that shit."
I laugh loudly as they continue to bicker then cut them off by yelling over them, "Guys! Chill. We can plan this shit when I've actually asked her."
"How are you gonna do it?" Darius asks and I grin.
"Okay, so...."
A couple hours later I pull up in front of Billie's apartment building and walk inside excitedly, saying a friendly hello to the familiar doorman out front. I'm eager to see her, even though it's only been about half a day since I last saw her. In my defense, we just spent that last few months with each other pretty much every second, so even a few hours apart feels weird.
I go up to their floor and knock on the door, chuckling when it swings open almost immediately. A blur of black and green is all I see before I'm crushed in a hug.
"I missed your ass," she says and I chuckle while wrapping my arms around her and backing her up into her apartment.
"Fucking sap," I tease and shut the door behind us then look up to see that her parents are still here, sitting at the table with Finneas and Claudia.
Billie holds onto my tighter and steps on top of my feet. I roll my eyes playfully but don't say anything to protest, and walk us over to the table.
"Long time no see," Finn jokes and I sit down, Billie sitting down in my lap.
"Ages, I know," I joke back.
The 5 of us chat for a while over some wine, and as I look around at all of them I realize how far I've come over the years. I used to get down over the fact that my family was in shambles. A dead brother, an absentee mother, and a father who tried his best to provide for me, but as a result wasn't around as much as I needed him.
But I realize now that I had more family than I thought. I love my dad with my whole heart, and him not being around a lot doesn't change that. Darius is like a brother to me, he always has been, and now Finneas is too. Claudia is the sister I never had, and Patrick and Maggie are like a second set of parents to me. Someday hopefully they'll be my actual in-laws. Soon.
Billie's phone starts to ring and she groans as she checks it then gets up from my lap. "I'll be back, it's about the video shoot," she mumbles then answers it as she walks off down the hall.
Perfect.
I suck in a nervous breath then look at Maggie and Patrick, who seem to sense that I'm about to bring up something important.
"I wanted to talk to you all about something," I say and they all give me their attention, looking intrigued but also a little concerned. "Don't worry, it's not a bad thing. Well, I hope you don't think it's a bad thing. I think it's a breath thing," I start to ramble a little so I just shut up and fish the box out of my pocket again, setting it down on the table.
They all gasp, and Maggie immediately starts to tear up while bringing her hand to her mouth.
"Oh hell no, Billie does not get a proposal before me," Claudia says, only sounding like she's half-joking.
Finneas looks like a deer caught in the headlights, and I laugh as he stutters out an, "I love you?"
I look at Patrick nervously, trying to get a sense on how he feels about this. He's the one I was most worried about, as it took him the longest to warm up to the idea of Billie being with me again after all the shit we went through.
Finally, his lips twitch into a smile. "I had a feeling this was coming," he says and chuckles.
"And you're okay with it?" I ask nervously and his eyes move from the box to meet mine.
"More than okay with it," he says genuinely and I sigh in relief. "You know, years ago I told Billie that she shouldn't love you, and that still haunts me," he starts, and even though times have changed my heart still aches at the memories. "I couldn't have been more wrong, Alexis. There's no one else I can imagine my daughter spending the rest of her life with"
My eyes almost instantly well up with tears that I try to blink away, feeling embarrassed. I really needed to hear that, even though it's been years since he said she shouldn't love
me. It's haunted me too.
"Thank you," I whisper and he gives me soft smile.
Maggie opens her mouth to chime in, but the sound of Billie's footsteps coming down the hall makes me grab the ring and shove it back into my pocket while Maggie closes her mouth quickly.
"What'd I miss?" Billie asks and takes a seat in my lap again.
"Not much. Just talking about the Dodgers," Patrick says and Billie scrunches her nose.
"Ew. Sports. Let's talk about literally anything else."
"Alright princess," I chuckle and wrap my arms around her waist. "Tell us about your video shoot."
A/N
i think there's just one or two chapters left until void is over my guys. but don't worry, the 3rd and final book will follow :)
do you have thoughts about the third book? predictions? things you wanna see?