Void // Billie Eilish

Two

song used: love me again by john newman (also i put some lyrics in a different order so yeah)

Alexis

My eyes scan the room in front of me, desperately searching for a very specific person.

Normally I would be excited to see so many familiar faces in the crowd because having people who go out of their way to see me sing is amazing, but right now I don't really care them. I only want one person to see me sing.

I still can't believe I spoke to her last week. After all this time, I finally got to look into those eyes again and hear that voice that I could never forget, even if I tried my hardest.

I'd seen her at my sets before last week. I first noticed her about three weeks ago. I wasn't entirely sure it was her, in fact part of me thought there was a chance I was seeing things and going mad, but last week confirmed that I wasn't.

She'd been to at least 5 of my sets before I talked to her last week, so you'd think she'd be happy to talk to me.

Apparently not.

Maybe I shouldn't have talked to her yet. I don't see her anywhere, which I guess means I scared her off last week. I'm an idiot.

"Hey guys," I say into the microphone and smile when I get cheers back.

I started singing in front of people about four months ago, and I'm still not over how it feels. The rush I get from being on stage in front of people is hard to match, and hearing people sing back lyrics I wrote is a feeling that I can't describe.

I remember one of the first times I hung out with Billie we laid in her bed and talked for hours together. She told me about how preforming feels and I ate it all up, never imagining that I would experience it myself, even on a small scale like this.  Throughout our relationship she'd always encourage me to share my music with other people, but I was too insecure.

I like to think that she's proud of me, even if she's angry with me.

I try to push my disappointment over not seeing Billie to the side so I can focus on doing a good set, but of course that's impossible. The girl had been on my mind since the moment I first met her, and I'm naive to think that would simply stop now.

After my second song I see movement by the door and my eyes flick towards it as I speak to the crowd. My heart starts to pound when I see her walking in, looking as beautiful as ever.

She looks over at the stage and our eyes meet. I instantly smile but she looks away quickly, making my heart ache.

She won't even look at me.

I won't let myself get too discouraged, the fact that she's even here means part of her wants to reconnect with me, right?

"I wrote this song a couple weeks ago, I haven't played it on front of people yet so be nice," I say into the mic and keep my eyes on Billie as she orders a coke from the bar, like every time she comes. "It's called Love Me Again."

I glance off stage and give the tech crew a nod to let them know I'm ready, and after a couple seconds music starts to play.

Mm eyes find Billie again, this time finding her looking back at me. Well, sort of. She's watching the stage, but she won't meet my gaze.

"Know I've done wrong, I left your heart torn. Is that what devil's do?" I sing into the mic, my stare lingering on hers for a moment before I reluctantly tear them away to interact with the rest of the crowd.

"It's unforgivable, I stole and burnt you soul. Is that what demons do? They rule the worst of me, destroy everything. They bring down angels like you," my eyes find Billie again and my heart skips when our eyes meet this time. I can tell she's listening to everything I'm singing, and I hope she's processing the lyrics the way I want her to.