She knew that she needs to prepare for the storm that has yet to come. She recalled the events that had occurred in her past life. It started from the day her grandfather King Joo-Nam chose her father as his successor, then her mother's assassination, after that... the so-called death accident of her uncle, Uncle Yoo-Hong. Somehow, she felt like these three events were the starting point of all the disaster that would soon happen in her life.
She knew that she lacked information, especially about these events. She couldn't recall when these events occurred. It happened ages ago back into her childhood life. Too many things had happened in her previous life, far too many... it made her unable to remember all of them. There were also a lot of painful memories that she would rather forget about.
Yona let out a heavy sigh. "How can I find information on something that has yet to happen?" she mumbled. She turned her head toward the opened window.
She gazed at the moon which shone brightly outside. The cold wind blew softly, causing her to shiver slightly. Gripping her haori, she leaned on the window sill.
"What should I do..." she whispered.
Four years had passed without doing any meaningful things. She stared blankly at the space, at a loss of what she should do. She had never been good at planning and making strategies, it's just not her forte.
'If Hak was in my position... I wonder what he would do...'
She stretched out her hand to the sky, to where the moon was shining brightly. She clenched her fist, acting as if trying to catch the moon. But the moon was still up there, still shining brightly as if mocking her despair. She gazed sadly at the moon and let out a heavy sigh.
She retracted her hands, and turned around, staring at the empty bedroom. The place that she used to feel small has suddenly become too big, giving her the feeling of emptiness and loneliness.
She shook her head, inhale and exhale deeply for a few times, trying to get her bearings back.
"Should I sort out the events?" she asked to no one particular as she walked to her table.
She took one of her journals and wrote down things that she had known.
'Around this time, King Joo-Nam should be stepping down from the throne. As Grandfather descended the throne, Father will be appointed as the next king. Not long after Father ascended the throne, Mother will be assassinated. After that, it will be... Uncle Yoo-Hong's accident.'
Yona stopped writing. She trilled her brush a little. "If I remember correctly, there was that time when Hak, Soo-won, and I went to the city. Hmm... that should be around this time too... but is it after uncle's death or before?" She furrowed a little.
"Hmm... Let's just put it before then..." she started writing again.
"So it should be... Mother being assassinated, I almost being kidnaped, Uncle's accident..." she nodded.
"There... this should be happening around the age of six." She put down her brush and stared at the notes again.
"But, the question is... should I or should I not let this happen?" She narrowed her eyes and bit her lower lips.
'What will happen if uncle becomes the king?'
She gazed back at the moon. She suddenly realized that it's snowing out there. Tighten her hold on her haori, she walked back to the window. She held her other hand out, trying to catch the falling snow. But the snow melted as soon as it came into contact with her hand. While seeing that process, her mind wandered around. One question kept lingering in her mind.
'Why did grandfather choose father instead of uncle...?'
Watching the moon, she whispered to herself.
"Maybe... it's time to confront Grandfather myself."
***
The first thing that Yona did was gathering information. In this unknown world, information was really valuable, whatever it is. If there was anything that she learned from living in wartime, it would be that information was as much important as life itself.
With information, you could change someone's course of fate. Information could make you stayed alive, or it might kill you, as not all information is true. It was a daily practice for a tactician to spread a hoax or any fake information to trap their enemies.
Yona knew this all too well as she had done that plenty of times. Not to mention, there were also a few times she fell into her enemy's trap because of the false information. Those times made her realize that nobody could be trusted except oneself. After all, it was in human nature to save oneself when they are facing danger. And she learned it the hard way.
That was the reason why she kept sneaking and spying on the soldiers as they offered a vast amount of free information. She might get something about the military situation—
soldier A: "man..., today is cold as well, wish that our shift can finish early"
soldier B: "yea, want to go inside and get warm"
soldier C: "ugh... one of these days, we'll freeze to death."
—or not.
She gave them a deadpanned look. "Soldiers nowadays are so weak that they'll die from guarding gate, huh?" she scowled while turning around and left her post. "wait until the time when you need to fight in the middle of freezing ocean. Whose ideas is it to spy on the soldiers?" she grumbled hotly as she stomped back inside.
She changed her plan to spying the servants. "Well, gossips are also information." she thought she would gather at least some information about the outside situation—
servant A: "Hey, hey! Have you heard?"
servant B: "what is it?"
servant A: "the neighboring town's barb is visiting the capital!"
servant C: "For real?! That handsome one?! Oh my! I need to go to the capital!"
servant B: "we cannot lose this chance to meet him!"
servant C: "KYAAA!! I'm going to ask for his autograph!"
servant B: "My God! What should I wear?! I don't have enough dresses!"
servant A: "We need to go shopping!"
servant C: "Yea! Come on!"
—But the content was all useless... Yona let out a dejected sigh. "What the heck is going on with these workers...?"
So, her best bet was the Council Meeting—
Minister X: "Your Majesty, I think we should import more rice from our neighboring kingdom, we don't have enough stock for the rest of winter."
King Joo-Nam: "And how, pray tell, could the rice not enough when we have imported twice the usual amount in the early winter?"
Minister X: "T-the consumption has increased, My Lord."
King Joo-Nam: "I think you have known the fact that I despised liar and thieves."
Minister X: "Y-yes, my lord."
—which surprisingly not informative at all.
She looked up to the clear sky and grumbled. "The god hates me."
***
So far, she hadn't found anything useful and that made her really frustrated. She had been searching for information for two whole months, but she was still empty-handed. '
I, who was once one of the best spies the Kouka have, cannot even find single information on my own territory? What a shame...' she huffed.
Being able to find any information that she needs had always become a special pride that she had. That was one of the reasons why she was both respected and feared in her old life since she had the knowledge which was unknown to the others.
But now, not only that she had no information, but she also didn't have any lead on this case. She had exhausted every single idea that she had.
'I already knew that this will be pointless. It is not possible to find information on something in the future, no matter how skilled someone is.' She huffed.
Still, she hoped that somehow, miraculously, she could get hold of some information about the assassination. Surely there were signs that someone was harboring an ill intention towards the royal family. Whoever did the assassination certainly was someone within the palace's wall.
But who?
Who will gain anything from killing the Queen? Who shares bad blood with the Queen? What will this person get?
If she thought about it again, Soo-Won once told her that his father was killed by her own father. That's one part that she had never understood why.
Why would her father kill Uncle Yoo-Hong? Was there any link between her mother's death and this killing? Was Uncle Yoo-Hong the culprit?
The event played out surprisingly near each other that it was hard to say that it was only a coincidence.
She frowned.
She couldn't think of any other reason except that uncle was the one who killed the queen and then he was revenge by her father.
But why would uncle kill the queen? Jealousy? Anger? or was it an accident and the victim supposed to be someone else?
She sighed again.
It seemed like she had been sighing a lot lately. She also got a lot of headaches since she had been burning her brain in the past few months. Not to mention, this year's winter was really cold that it became harder to bear each day passed.
It was hard to move around in this cold weather, it was also hard to sneak out from the servants. They were such a worrywart that it had gone passed tolerable.
"Ugh... I gave up..." she muttered. She let herself fell inelegantly on the ground full of snow. It was cold, but she could still handle it.
She had gone through much colder days, one without a roof or a tent to block the cold wind, rain or even snow. Without anyone to hold her, to embrace and cradle her. She still remembered those feeling, the feeling of emptiness... the longing of feeling someone's heat.
It had been four years since she came back, but she couldn't just let go of the past.
She was afraid, afraid that if she let it go she would eventually forget it... afraid if she were to enjoy her life she would forget about her purpose here. The guilt was what driven her to keep focusing on her task because this was her responsibility as a princess... and as someone who already gone through this life once.
'I cannot let them face the same future... I cannot let them undergo the same fate as I did... no matter what, I must protect them... even at the cost of my own life.'
To be Continued