Chapter 38
One must learn to crawl, in order to run...
I've heard that saying before. I should've followed it, though. Right now, I felt like I was running with wolves and I couldn't keep up. I seriously underestimated Zeke's manipulative capabilities. Where was this half-real surge of courage coming from anyway? Maybe it was because of Matchbox 20 or my straightened hair, but whatever it was, I didn't want it anymore. Courage made me do scary things, and that wasn't a good thing when you've lived a cowardly life for long enough.
That was me, I guess. I always hid and cowered away like a fool. It didn't matter what it was; whether it was because of what I've done or something that I felt, I stashed it and buried it deep so no one could find it. Sometimes, not even myself. If anything, I think a part of me wants to keep it that way.
Grudgingly, I went ahead and approached Charlie. About halfway there, he noticed me and he raised a brow. I raised one back, just because I can. When I finally stood in front of him, I took a moment to collect myself. I wasn't all there on the inside; I was scrambled (if that made sense).
"What are you doing?" Charlie immediately asked, his bright eyes searching my face suspiciously.
I scrunched my face mockingly. "Hello to you too, Charlie," I said sarcastically, feigning hurt.
"What, can't find Drew?"
I shook my head nervously at him. "No, but, uh-"
"Oh, so you want me to fetch him for you?" he asked again, more irritated this time. Oddly, Charlie started straightening up and emphasising his height. It didn't help that I wanted to shrink.
"No, I was go-"
"Then what's the matter?"
I stomped my foot on the ground, frustrated as hell. With the music and the noise, I highly doubt anyone heard. "If you just let me finish, you'd know! Man, you have got to stop cutting people's sentences off," I complained with raised arms. He just watched me in amusement, and nodded. So, I continued. "Anyway, did you want to...dance?"
Charlie looked appalled, his golden eyes wide like saucers. For a few seconds, he just kept quiet. His expression went from surprised to a pointed look, and now, to a confused one. It was a daunting task, waiting for his response. As you may or may not have already guessed, I wasn't a big fan of rejection.
"Is this a trick question?"
"No, now come on before the song ends," I told him with a heavy sigh. Grabbing hold of his arm, I tugged him along through the sea of drunken teens. Not that he complained much. The boy didn't even put up a damn fight.
Copying the others, I slowly laced my fingers together behind his neck. I reached it a bit more than usual, thanks to the heels. I mean, I didn't do this all the time; I was just-
Yep, okay I'll stop.
Unsure, Charlie hesitantly wrapped his arms around my waist. From the corner of my eye, I saw Zeke with a self-righteous smirk dancing on his lips. I averted my gaze from him and, somehow, it made its way to Charlie's. As the music droned on and the couples started making out, we just swayed from side to side in silence. Our eyes were locked and nothing seemed to break it. Even when the song changed, I, nor he, looked away. Everything felt calm and...it was a strange feeling. The Elouise and Charlie that I knew never had calm, only crazy and mishap. We were always bickering, not silent.
It was like we didn't want to let go. It wasn't something that I'd approve of, either. Moving out of his reach, I shook my head with an almost bitter laugh. I could hear Zeke and I's conversation repeating in my head. But, what if I didn't want anything to change? We were in a good place, Charlie and I. Nothing needed to be different.
But you know it is, whispered my brain.
But Drew's the one for me.
Never said he wasn't.
Then what does that mean?
Open your eyes, Elouise. You're not stupid and you know it.
But what if I don't want it to be true?
"That was...nice," I said, then I bolted towards the nearest exit. I didn't want him to say anything. I didn't want him to do something.
My brief argument with myself hit so close to home. I wasn't one to admit facts regarding myself, but deep inside, I knew that things were changing. And...I understood that. Change was inevitable, and part of me knew that there was no going back. This time, everything was for keeps.
~
I pulled Cindy from Ethan as soon as I found her. (Thankfully, not in a bedroom). I spotted them on the couch chatting to each other with food on their hands. I guess he was sobering her up; it wasn't exactly a bad idea.
Nearly tripping on the rug, she mumbled, "Home already? Why am I not surprised?"
"You know I dislike these...gatherings," I grumbled.
"Why don't you look for the Ashtons? They'll keep you entertained," she suggested hopefully, but I shook my head.
Cindy inspected my face more, as if looking for something. Gradually, her grey eyes started to widen and her mouth morphed into an "O" shape. It was one of her "I gotcha" looks that I wasn't very fond of.
"Walton, what did you do?" she asked accusingly, giving me the stink eye. "You've done something stupid, didn't you?"
"No. No! I didn't do anything. I just wanna go lay down," I defended, using my hands for emphasis.
She smirked mischievously, looping her arm with mine. "I'll get it out of you. Just you wait, Eli."
In fifteen minutes, the couple dropped me off at my house and I waved to them goodbye. I quietly made my way inside, though my parents trusted me enough to go to parties. They knew I was a lightweight when it came to drinking, and even I knew that, that only gave me terrible things to deal with. I was one of those silly drunks who called their exes or confessed their feelings. No thanks!
After a quick shower, I was finally on my mattress; my favourite place to be. I got comfy, or at least tried to. I tossed and I turned, but I couldn't sleep. That incident was bugging me. I still felt the warmth of his body, his gentle grip on my waist. I thought about all the unaswered questions that came with it too. Like I said, I was a walking cliché. Instead of reading sappy novels, I lived in them (except mine was more of a sinking ship than anything).
What if dancing with him was a mistake?
What was he thinking about when we were dancing anyway?
Why was he so quiet?
Why was I quiet?
What if I looked up? Would he have...kissed me?
Elouise, stop this nonsense!
Just then a knock resounded in the confines of my bedroom. I quickly pulled the covers over my head, scared that I might've jynxed my life.
What if I was complaining so much that instead of a sappy novel, it was now a horror movie and I was about to die?
The knocking started again and I tried very hard to dismiss my last thought. It was a little louder this time, but it wasn't loud enough for the people outside of my room to hear. Slowly, I poked my head from under my sheets and scanned the room for a weapon. The knocking was coming from the balcony door. I clutched the stiletto Cindy lent me earlier and held it in a way that the long, slender heel would hit my attacker's face. I crept all the way to the door, until only the glass and the curtains were our barrier. Through them I peeked (they were made of a thin, see-through fabric), terrified that my assumptions were correct.
But then, I saw a head of the most familiar mahogany coloured locks and I instantly relaxed. It was just Charlie; sweet, idiotic Charlie. I opened the door just a smidge and glared at him. "What the hell? I thought you were Jason!" I whisper-yelled, pointing the heel of my shoe at him.
He frowned. "Jason? Who the hell is that?"
"From Friday the 13th! Haven't you seen that?"
"Why are we talking about movies right now?"
"I don't know, you tell me! You're the one who shows up at my balcony in an ungodly hour, wearing a cotton shirt and salmon-colored boxers," I said, annoyed at him for showing up. "If someone needs to explain here, that person is you."
"Well, maybe I just wanted some answers..." he muttered quietly.
"What do you mean?"
"You don't have to say anything," he said, "I just have to stay."
Crossing my arms, I let him in. I wasn't sure what he meant, but I didn't want to push the subject. I was too tired and my mental health needed a rest. So, I hopped into bed and he followed, shortly after I put the pillow barrier in place.
At first, it felt too awkward. I was too aware; I would close my eyes to sleep and open them because of my self consciousness. My back was to him but, somehow, I felt so undeniably watched. We were heading to dangerous territory, so I decided to break the ice.
"You miss me already?" I kid, turning around to face him.
He was smiling at me, his eyes droopy and fighting for consciousness. "I'm taking you somewhere tomorrow," he murmured, eyes now closed.
Shutting my own, I mumbled, "Sure."
"Elouise?"
"Yes, Charlie?"
"I hope you're happy," and then, he fell asleep.
* * *
Hey folks!
It's been a while since I've updated on time, but here it is. Haha ;)
I'm really in the mood for writing, so hopefully I can put up the next chappie on time too. But I do have my end of year exams on, so don't quote me on that.
This chapter is dedicated to @bri_panda who's an absolute coolcat. Thank you for your time and votes! c:
Special mention to @stephanie_xx3 and @brooke123094 for the lovely chat we had. Anyone is free to message me too, we can be Watty friends!
Thanks to everyone else for helping MBFB reach 46K!! This is awesome and I am so keen to get the numbers up higher!! 47/48,000 reads here we go!!
Multimedia Weekly:
- photo of the very cryptic Charlie
- One by Collins Music (absolutely adoreeeee this song! Especially Chris! Isn't he dreamy? *sighs in awe*)
Please don't forget to VOTE, COMMENT, and SHARE if you liked this chapter! :)
*phew! that was looooong*
J~