Sorry I haven't uploaded in forever. Gotta love school ;-; I have four honors classes and apparently they don't understand having a life outside of school. They each hand out like 500000000000 hours of homework. Okay so maybe not actually that much homework but it feels like it. Anyway I owe you guys a long chapter so here you go. I hope you like it! Also I couldn't think of a name for this chapter so its named after my dog.
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*Natasha’s PoV*
The first weeks of school dragged on. All we did was learn the exact same things from back when I was in elementary school. Zacky and I had been getting close, he’s really cool and he’s been teaching me guitar which has impressed Barry.
Waking up on a Saturday is one of the best feelings in the universe. Knowing you could just go right back to sleep if you so desired was awesome. I woke up and trudged down stairs to the kitchen.
“Hi Mabel,” I said to big blob of gold fur. She wagged her tail while looking up at me. “Where’s Adam?” I don’t know why I do this, I know I’m not going to get an answer but I always ask animals questions like that. Who knows maybe one day she’ll suddenly start speaking English and I’ll discover she’s actually and intelligent alien dog. It’s worth a shot.
I looked around and saw a note on the fridge.
‘We’ve got a gig tonight. I’m at band practice at Neil’s. I’m assuming you’re gonna wake up around noon so if you want lunch come on over. Seriously, we’re having tacos.
~Adam’
I looked at the clock, it was 11:30. Dang, he knows me so well. I wasn’t really hungry, but I didn’t want to ditch them so I started working out in the hopes of burning enough calories that I wouldn’t gain any. Mabel watched me in confusion and kept trying to lick my face while I was doing sit ups.
I threw on a Nirvana t-shirt, a flannel shirt and jeans. I detangled my hair throwing it messily around like always. I keep meaning to dye my hair but I can never remember to. Maybe I’ll just dye it tomorrow. Looking in the mirror my mind instantly picked out all the flaws. I tried to ignore that stupid voice in my head. I kept feeling fat but convinced myself that I can do this. I can go eat and just throw up or work out or do anything. I threw on a beanie and grabbed my skateboard.
I skated over to Neil’s house and found all the guys sitting in the front lawn. Thank god, I did not wanna ring that doorbell.
“Hey! Look, it’s Tosh!” I heard Brad yell out. He was holding a beer and all the guys were laughing.
I smiled. “So this is what you call band practice?”
They laughed. “It’s close enough,” Neil said.
I laughed and sat down with them.
“So Tosh, how’s your day going?” Brad asked with a slightly drunken smile on his face.
I shook my head trying not to laugh at his face. “Peachy keen, Brad. I woke up 30 minutes ago.”
“See! I told you guys she sleeps forever!” Adam yelled.
“I thought girls were supposed to wake up early!” Neil yelled.
“If I’m supposed to be acting like a girl then I’m awful at acting!” I shouted at them.
“That’s a good point. What the hell kind of girl likes plaid?” Barry asked. I shot him a glare.
“Plaid is the bomb diggity and you know it!” I yelled.
“Plus what kind of girl says ‘bomb diggity’?” Brad asked.
“None!” Barry responded.
“What kind of girls flips her shit over American muscle cars?!” Adam asked.
“Every girl with a sensible mind and classy taste!” I yelled.
“Oh really? Drooling over some car with a good engine is what classy girls do?” Brad asked.
“Oh shut up…”
“We won!” yelled Adam.
“I hate you,” I said grumpily.
“We luv chuuuu,” they all said trying to hug me.
“Nooooo!” I attempted to fight them off but to no avail.
“I’m hungry,” Neil complained.
“Barry you should make us tacos,” Brad said.
“Maybe I’ll make tacos for the munchkin,” he said pointing to me, “But you guys are on your own.”
They pouted and headed inside to make tacos. Adam and I followed behind.
“Please eat?” he whispered to me. “Please?”
It’s weird how someone caring can affect the mind. Hearing him ask that made me want to cry more than it did cheer me up but I tried to shake off the feeling. All I did was a little nod in response. I had to eat, for Adam. Like Barry said, he made me a taco but no one else’s. Our taco’s stayed together while Adam’s, Brad’s, and Neil’s tacos all looked like a puddled mess. They devoured their tacos in no time while it took me forever just to eat one.
By the time we were all done they were leaving to actually practice in the basement.
“I’m gonna pet your cat for a bit but I’ll join you guys in a little,” I told them. They all headed downstairs and I headed for the bathroom.
Kneeling over the toilet, with my hair tied up, I tried by best to get the whole taco up as best as I could.
“Sorry Adam…” I whispered. I released my hair and made sure I looked okay and not tired or sick. While I waited for my throat to clear up and my voice to come back I petted Neil’s little gray cat.
From above the basement the songs they played were a jumbled up mess but when I went downstairs they sounded as magical as their songs online turned all the way up. I sat on the basement stairs and watched them all getting into the songs. While Adam sang Just Like You Brad kept getting close against him every time he sang “You thought you were standing beside me, You’re only in my way,” to the point where Adam was pushing him out of the way. Majority of their songs started out with only one note and then a lot of them laughing. Neil and I kept making weird faces back and forth to the point where everyone else was cracking up.
It was 3pm when finally they were ready to go to the gig.
“You wanna come, Tosh?” Adam asked.
I got so excited and practically screamed yes.
“All we need to do is run by my place really fast,” Adam said, “and then we can be on our way.”
We loaded up a van with all the instruments and stopped by the house.
*Adam’s PoV*
“Hey Tosh, wanna help me out?” I asked her.
“Sure,” she said hopping out of the car.
We walked inside and as soon as the door was closed I turned around and looked at her.
“What’s up?” she asked.
“Tosh did you throw up?” I asked.
She looked kind of stunned but I could see the heart break in her eyes. I got angry. She agreed to eating. Why would she do this?
“Natasha please!”
She looked down, with tears forming in her eyes. I realized it’s not her fault. If she could, I know she would love to be confident with eating. My anger turned to hurt and I hugged her.
“Sorry…” I heard her whisper.
“No, don’t be… I know you’re trying.”
Our hug broke off. I wiped the tears off from under her eyes and ruffled her hair. She smiled a bit.
“Let’s get ready for the concert,” I told her and watched her head upstairs.
She came down and looked at me with a small smile. I could see a hint of redness in her eyes but I doubt anyone else will really notice.
“Ready?” I asked.
“You know it,” she replied with a smile. I realized this is probably her first concert ever. For some reason it made me happy that her first concert would be listening to our band.
“Let’s go!” I raced for the door with her right on my heels.
Neil and Brad had taken my place up front and I was stuck squeezed in the back with everyone else.
“Tosh you’re getting the middle seat,” I said.
“Awe what?”
“You’re flippin tiny! Look at Barry and I; do you really think we could fit in the middle?”
“Ughh.” She sighed and hopped into the middle of the seat.
The whole car ride we played Alice in Chains trying to get into the mood for the concert. Already Neil was drumming with his fingers on the door of the van. We finally arrived there at 4. Different vans were pulling up. All the opening bands hopped out and were getting ready. I could see Tosh starting to fan girl. I let her run off to go and talk to some of the other bands. I started to get some of the equipment out of our van when another one of our van’s arrived. The merch people got out of the van; Rachel, Tom, and Melissa. Rachel walked up and gave me a hug. She was kind of short and had curly dark brown hair.
“Hi Adam,” she said.
“Hey Rachel! Thanks for doing the merch sales.”
She smiled and stepped out of the way so Tom could say hi.
“Hey, man.”
“Hey,” I said back to him. Tom had short orange hair and an orange beard. Yup, he’s soulless.
Tom was a pretty cool guy and him and Rachel made an adorable couple. They walked off together and started emptying the van. I went to help them when I heard Melissa say “Hey…” all sly like she always does. With her it’s always the same. She teases my emotions, fucks up everything and runs off. Then she magically reoccurs in my life. I don’t get what fun she finds in all of this.
She walked up to me in her short shorts and tank top that didn’t hide anything. Dear god, please tell me I will never have to deal with Tosh dressing like this.
She got so close that she was pressed against me. “You forgot to say hi to me, Adam,” she said while dragging her finger down my chest.
“Uhm, you’re a little too close Melissa,” I said pushing her away.
“Awe you’re calling me Melissa? I thought you liked to call me Mel,” she said starting to get close again.
“Seriously Melissa, I’m not doing this again.”
She just inched closer till she was pressed against me again. “Not doing what?” she asked pretending to be innocent.
“I’m not going to let you into my life again! I’ll let you stay but that’s only for Rachel and Tom since they’re shorthanded, but you need to back off. I’ve changed but you obviously haven’t.”
I tried to leave but she grabbed me again. “I’ve changed too! I swear I have! I’m not going to just leave you again!” She got close again and put my hand on her black hair. It had streaks of pink and blue making it bright in the sunlight. “I know I can make it up, A-“
“Is it okay if I invite some-“ Tosh started before she realized what she just walked up on. “Oh, uhm… Sorry about interrupting this… You guys can-er-continue I guess…I’m going to help Neil, Brad, and Barry.”
“Wait Tosh!” I yelled but she was already running to catch up with the guys on their way backstage.
Melissa separated herself from me and looked at me dead in the eyes. “Who’s that?!”
“That’s Natasha,” I said still watching Tosh join the guys.
“Isn’t she a little young for you?!” she yelled.
“Wait, what?! No! It’s not that-“
“Oh then who is she?! Some girl you “ran into” on the street offering to accompany you for a flat fee?! Huh?!”
“No! It’s not fucking like that!”
Melissa kept trying to yell so finally I yelled, “She’s my daughter!! Okay?!”
That kept her silent for a while.
“I took her in and she’s a pretty good kid…”
Melissa looked bewildered. “You have a fucking kid?!” But then her demeanor seemed to change. She looked at Tosh like competition and then, as if I hadn’t just seen that look, she turned to me and smiled. “That’s great! She’s adorable!” But she couldn’t hide that malicious look in her eyes. She hugged me and said “I should go help Rachel and Tom but we should hang out.” She walked off attempting to strut her stuff.
Finally I could breathe. Pft, as if I would want to hang out with her. I ran to catch Tosh and the guys. They were carrying instruments in to sit backstage till it was our turn to go on stage. Tosh was helping Neil carry parts of his drum set inside.
“Hey Tosh!” I yelled trying to catch up with her.
She stopped and started at me. “Hi there.”
“I swear it was nothing,” I blurted out.
“What?”
“With that girl you saw, she’s nothing to me I swear.”
“I don’t care, you can like a girl if you want. It’s your love life,” she said, not understanding.
“No! She’s old news, for real. Even if you don’t care I want you to know that,” I said to her.
“That’s why you were pressed together?”
“She kept trying to get close to me! Please Tosh.”
“It’s okay.” She smiled. “I was just messing with you. When she was holding you, you looked so awkward.” She laughed at me.
“You brat,” I joked at her. “So what were you asking earlier?”
“I was curious if I could invite a friend to come to the concert.”
“I’ll have to check with management, some places are strict about this kind of stuff but they should let you bring someone. Hold on.” I ran off to go track down stage management and luckily they said yes. Tosh seemed totally happy but had to borrow my phone to text her friend.
“I never got you a phone did I?” I finally realized.
“Nope, but I’ve been just fine without one,” she replied.
“I should get you one. How about tomorrow?”
“You don’t need to buy me one I’ll be perfectly fine without one.”
She’s so persistent but I don’t care, she’s getting one whether she wants it or not.
“Whatever you say,” I replied, knowing I’m still just going to get her one tomorrow.
Her friend replied almost right away that he was coming.
“Who did you invite?” I asked
“Jimmy.”
“Of course.”
“Hey! What do you mean by that?!”
“You guys are always hanging out!”
“Not true!”
“It’s totally true,” Brad suddenly chimed in.
Tosh made a fake grumpy face at us but ended up smiling. I introduced her to Rachel and Tom and they loved her. It was kind of adorable to see how shy Tosh gets around new people. She was super quiet and awkward as ever but she pulled through it.
We all sat in the backstage room for Three Days Grace. Barry sat around picking at his guitar without it being plugged into the amp and Neil was tapping with his fingers. I swear drummers can never hold still. Brad had fallen asleep on the couch and eventually Tosh walked in with her friend Jimmy.
*Natasha’s PoV*
It was super awesome that Jimmy could come. At least this way I’ll have a friend when the guys are playing. His mom dropped him off and he ran up and bear hugged me, knocking all my breathe out and making his mom grimace.
“Be good and don’t choke that girl!” Jimmy’s mom yelled out the car window as she drove off.
Jimmy looked embarrassed but shook it off quickly.
“Hiya Tosh!” he said happily.
“Hiya giant!” I responded having to look up at him.
He was incredibly tall and his spiked up hair really didn’t help. I’m fairly certain that to reach the top of his head, I’d need a ladder.
“Hey, I’m not that tall!”
“Yeah you are! Now come one follow me! Don’t you wanna meet Three Days Grace!”
We ran to the room backstage and walked in. I saw Jimmy’s face light up as he saw everyone. This was the first time I’ve ever seen him not know what to say.
“Guys, this is Jimmy,” I said and pointed at him.
“Sup’ Jimmy,” Neil and Barry said.
“Nice to see you again, man,” Adam said.
Brad was asleep, taking up and entire couch so we walked over and sat next to Adam on one of the other couches. In all it was a white and blue room with three couches against three of the walls and a bathroom on the fourth wall.
Eventually Jimmy seemed to calm down and he started spouting out story after story. They seemed to like him which was awesome. The concert started and Adam, Jimmy and I went out to see the other bands perform. I instantly started to adapt to how it all worked and dived into the mosh pit, loving every second of it. Eventually Adam had to leave to go on stage.
Three Days Grace was amazing to watch. Not only did they play amazingly but Brad and Barry kept attempting to pick on Adam during songs. While Adam sang Just Like You, Brad kept getting in his was and Adam started singing I Hate Everything About You to Barry and he continually looked flatter when he sang “Why do I love you?”
The pit was awesome. If you fell you’d instantly be picked up. I was practically thrown a couple times. Jimmy would pick me up so I could go crowd surfing and all in all it was the best night of my life. After the concert the crowd cheered “One more song! One more song!” They came back out and played Pain which made me flip out because that’s the first song I’d ever heard by them. As soon as they were done I ran backstage to meet them.
“You guys were rad!” I yelled at them.
They smiled. “Thanks.”
They were all incredibly sweaty but didn’t look tired. While you’d imagine you’d be tired at 2 am the adrenaline pumps and keeps you wide awake for hours on end. I could also tell that they were on their way to becoming drunk. That was plainly obvious from the cups of beer they all held.
That one girl I had seen pressed against Adam earlier came up again and started to whisper into his ear. Geez, way to dress like a hoe bag. Although she was dressed like a slut wearing her tank top so that it showed almost one entire side of her bra and booty shorts, I looked over and saw Jimmy looking at me rather than her. No, he can’t be. There’s no way any sane guy would look at me over a girl dressed like that. But I swear he was looking at me… I shook my head slightly. I have to be imagining it.
Adam looked at her. “But I need to take Tosh home.”
“Not when you’re drunk,” she said back at him. “Please?”
“What?” I asked.
“She wants to take us to a bar,” Adam said. The guys partially cheered at the idea.
“My mom could give you a ride home if you’d like,” Jimmy said to me.
“You guys go ahead and go to the bar I’ll just tag along with Jimmy.”
They looked happy. “You’re the best!” Neil said to me. Barry ruffled my hair as Jimmy and I walked out.
We sat down on the ground and leaned against the wall of the building waiting from Jimmy’s mom.
*Jimmy’s PoV*
She looked upset. I booped her nose and saw the tiniest bit of a smile on her face but she still didn’t stop looking at the ground.
“Don’t worry about them. They’re all big boys,” I said to her.
“Are you kidding?” She sounded upset at first till she added, “Have you seen how short Brad is?” She smiled and finally looked up at me.
I laughed a bit and she poked my nose, starting a full blown battle. I poked her back and she quickly poked me and jumped up and soon we were pretending to be ninjas while striking ridiculous poses and poking each other. She poked me and ran and soon it started to seem like the most serious game of tag ever. You could tell it was serious by the way she meowed any time I poked her.
Eventually my mom pulled up and honked at us. We both climbed into the middle seats of the car.
“Hi,” my mom said to Tosh.
“Hi Mrs. Sullivan, I’m Natasha,” Tosh replied back. Good my mom loves being called Mrs. Sullivan. Some respect thing, I dunno.
“Oh so you’re the infamous ‘Tosh,’” another voice up front said. It was my dad. I blushed, hoping that the car was dark enough to cover it. “Jimmy talks about you all the time.”
“Oh really?” She laughed a bit, as if she could use this against me in the future.
“Yup,” he said. “Hi I’m Joe.” He stuck out his hand and she shook it.
Tosh told my mom her address and we started heading out. She was extremely polite, which made my mom happy but had my dad’s sense of humor. Ultimately it actually worked out which really surprised me. Normally, either my mom or my dad, hate my friend but this time they got along.
Eventually we showed up at her house and she hopped out.
“Thanks a ton for the ride Mrs. Sullivan! Bye Joe. Bye Jimmy!”
She walked off into her house and my mom took off.
“I liked her,” my mom said.
“She was very funny,” my dad said. Then again his sense of humor is corny jokes and puns but either way Tosh knew a lot of them which made him happy. I felt really happy that they liked her. I don’t know why but I guess I just want them to see what I see in her.
*Natasha’s PoV*
I walked inside, happy to be alone. Mabel came up to the door wagging her tail to greet me.
“Hi Mabel!” I dropped down to the floor so I could pet her face. I scratched right behind her ear, under her collar which made her kick her foot turn her head looking happy as can be.
I walked around singing whatever songs came into my head which eventually turned to singing about every action I did. Eventually I just flopped down onto the couch and watched tv. It was really late but I still couldn’t fall asleep. All I could do was think about that concert.
I heard the door open and I heard someone trip and stumble in. I looked over and saw Adam. I ran over to try and help him over to the couch; there was no way I was getting him upstairs to his room. I grabbed his arm to help him stand but he shook me off. I looked at him and his eyes were completely different. They were filled with hate and disgust.
“Adam?” I asked.
“Fuck off,” he grumbled.
“What?” I was getting worried.
“Back the fuck off slut!” he yelled.
I didn’t know what to stay or do. It was like a gazelle and a car but I was the gazelle stuck in the headlights, he was the car.
“You’re such a bitch! Do you know how much money I’ve spent on you? I would’ve had way more if I hadn’t taken you in. I should’ve let you die. I took you in and you became a bitch. Even my FUCKING DOG IS TAKING YOUR SIDE!”
I looked behind me and saw Mabel holding her stance. I told her to go but she held her ground. I grabbed her collar and made a run for the back door. I got her out in time but Adam caught me. He was starting to swing at me.
He knocked me down. “YOU FUCKING BITCH!” He grabbed my arm and I could feel his grip growing tight. He let go and kicked me down. I knew I couldn’t fight him off. I tried to fight the terror in my system and make my body relax to help not break any bones. I could barely stand to look into his eyes.
I closed my eyes but flashbacks of my past were coming back and making me want to scream. I remembered my dad throwing me around, my mom simply watching me with disgust. Screaming just made it worse. It was as if he fed off my screams. I struggled trying to get the image out of my head. Adam kept screaming nonsense and hurting me through punching kicking and throwing. The pain was unbearable but I bit my lip and tried not to react. I can’t fight him. I WILL lose no matter what. I couldn’t help the tears that streamed out and the constant thoughts that this whole time Adam never even wanted me. I thought of Jimmy and Zacky and the new life I made all because of him. Does he really hate me…? I buried my face into my arms and eventually everything stopped. There was no more yelling, no more punches, no sounds; everything was silent. I slowly moved my arms and turned over, coughing up blood onto the tile floor. I was bleeding and completely bruised. I looked up to find him, trying to control my coughing. He was passed out on the floor, not moving. I checked his breathing making sure he was okay.
I painfully stood up. My whole body ached and screamed at me to lay back down but instead I grabbed Adam’s arms and dragged him over to the living room couch. With all my might, I rolled him up onto the couch. I laid a blanket over him and went to get things to help him when he woke up. I grabbed a water bottle, a bottle of ibuprofen, and dark instant coffee mix and laid them out on the coffee table next to the couch. I decided that, in case he wakes up in a rage again, to leave Mabel outside. I grabbed the bean bag from my room that she loves so much, a blanket, her dog food, water and her favorite toy. I went outside and laid the bean bag down on the patio and set up two bowls. One I filled with her large chunky dog food and the other with water. I grabbed her toy and decided to play with her one last time… I threw her toy and she happily raced out to grab it and while she was looking happy as could be I couldn’t stop the tears. I carefully knelt down, trying to avoid the pain, and gave her a face rub and a full body scritch. I headed inside, locked the door and ran upstairs. I dumped my school work and filled my backpack with things I’d need; clothes, water bottle, food, my skateboard, and what little money I had. I didn’t want to go out the front door for fear he’d wake up or someone would notice. Instead, I hopped out the window onto the roof, found a tree and climbed it down to the ground. I instantly jumped onto my board and skated as far off as I could. It felt like I was restarting all over again.
*Adam’s PoV*
I woke up with the worst headache and looked over to see coffee, painkillers and water. Thank god for Tosh. I don’t remember a majority of last night but obviously I must’ve needed help going to bed. I sat up and took the ibuprofen. I drank all the water and walked into the kitchen to make coffee. I noticed Mabel outside and instantly walked over to let her in. That’s unusual; she’s normally in Tosh’s room.
I walked back over to resume making coffee when I looked down and noticed that the floor was covered in spots of blood. I checked myself and knew it hadn’t been me. There was only one other option.
I raced up the stairs, dropping everything. I broke open her locked door and didn’t find her there. All I found was a note on her bed that read ‘Sorry.’
All the memories of last night came flooding in…