FAY
They said he had left Sparks earlier than normal, so right now, I was approaching his office study back at the house. Damien was right, I couldn't just jump into conclusions thinking our relationship was so over. I had to go apologize to him myself, then I'd hear it from him.
And honestly, I didn't want us to be over, this was all my fault.
I made a really terrible mistake, I trusted Lucas blindly and in the process, I continuously hurt Elroy's feelings. The Elroy I knew wouldn't forgive me easily. Or even at all.
But I still had to try.
I considered just entering without knocking, but the idea didn't shine so bright in my head right now, so I knocked.
At first there was no reply, so I braced myself and knocked again, this time, more louder.
"Come in." His voice sounded from the other side of the room making my heart jump in what? Fear? Nervousness? Anxiety? Or all of the above?
Before placing my suddenly sweaty palm on the door knob, I inhaled and exhaled, trying to steady my unsteady heart.
I can do this, I just need to tell him how sorry I am... I just need to explain everything to him... Try to make him understand.
I swallowed hard then proceeded to push the door open, slowly. Immediately, I was hit with his lovely cologne as I continued to push the door open. The study had his cologne, painted at every corner, reminding me that I wasn't just going to see anyone, but Elroy Chesterfield, someone who may or may not break my heart in a few minutes from now.
He was standing in front of his tall shelf, picking up a red hard covered book. Immediately I stepped into the study, he raised and turned his head to my direction, without much of an expression on his face.
No look of surprise or shook or anger, even hurt. He just looked expressionless.
The bruises on his face were still present and I suddenly felt so stupid for leaving with Lucas. God, how could I have been so blind?
"So, you knock now?" He asked, his attention leaving my face, back to the book he was holding.
I gulped down, shutting the door behind me. "I didn't want to just barge in." My voice came out quiet and shaky sort of, but my eyes were still on him.
"You never thought of that fact the whole time you decided to stop knocking?" He asked, moving to his table.
He dropped the book on top of it and leaned on the table, arms folded across his chest as he watched me carefully. "What do you want?" He asked. "Are you here to say your goodbyes, is there a truck outside waiting to move your stuff back to your penthouse? Do you need help packing up your boxes?"
I furrowed my brows in confusion and shock as the feeling of fear decided to sink in. "You want me to leave your house?" I asked.
"No," His eyes dropped from mine, as he decided to admire his shoes. "...but I guess that's what you want. Since you hate me now, I just assumed you were done with me." He said.
My heart skipped a beat. "Why are you saying this El? I don't want to move out and I'm so not done with you. Why would you think that?"
His eyes met mine again, then he shrugged his shoulders. "It's the kind of picture you painted this morning, I mean who wouldn't want to leave a man who would think it was super cool to abduct a child because he thought the child's brother refused to leave his girlfriend alone."
Come to think of it, that story just sounded stupid. I can't believe I would think that of Elroy.
I bit my lower lip, looking for what to say. I know I came here to apologize but- he looked like he deserved more than an apology. But either way... "I'm sorry." I said finally.
He stared at me for exactly five seconds before speaking. "You're sorry? For what?"
I gulped.
"For picking Lucas over you everytime, for not trusting you, for not listening to you or believing you when you told me Lucas was- wasn't who he claimed to be, for- for slapping you. I don't deserve your forgiveness cause- cause you- cause you were trying to tell me. You even had an asthma attack trying to make me understand. Ever since you decided to change- all- all I've ever caused you was pain. Now I know why you treated me like crap. I'm an idiot, a big fool who can't even see what's in front of her."
My chest began to tighten, and I knew what was next... Tears.
"I'm a big hypocrite. I'm always saying that I want to make this relationship work, but I'm the very person bringing it back down to pieces," I blinked back my tears, but it wasn't having it, the more I blinked, the more then fell. How I wish I could just control them. "I'm so sorry for not trusting you."
I dared to look into his eyes. They were no longer expressionless. In fact, they carried the kind of look I never thought I'd ever see on his face.
"The thing was- was that, Lucas and I- we- we've been best friends since forever, did I- did I tell you that we actually met in college, and I had a crush on him and- and after college we became even more closer. I just-" I blinked, making another tear drop. "I just didn't expect him to- to do this- to lie like this."
I took in one shaky breath. "I just trusted him too much. I'm an emotional fool when it comes to people that- people I care about."
Elroy shifted from his leaning position, making his way to me.
I kept my head down, so guilty that I couldn't bring myself to look into his eyes.
I felt him stop right in front of me.
A second passed, then he smooth a loose strand of my hair, behind my ears, lifting my chin up to his gaze. He held this soft look, tearing my insides into long slices. He wasn't mad at me.
"Do you care about me?" He asked softly.
"Of course." I said without an heartbeat.
"So why did you leave with Lucas? Why did you suddenly change your mood against me, why did you just decide to conclude on Lucas's lie? Why didn't you even stop for a second to hear me out? I was hurting too, you know." He said.
Another string of tears ran down my face, but he wiped them before they could even reach my chin.
"I don't know." I replied his questions. "I was- I was maybe scared that if- that if I trusted you- then- then I'd be losing a best friend."
"A best friend whose been lying to you?" He reminded.
"I'm really sorry El, please, find a place in your heart to forgive me. I know what I did was really wrong, but- but please don't punish me by ending the relationship, I - I want it to work, I- I'll trust you from now on, and I promise not to create any more drama, just please, don't- don't break up with me. We've gone pretty far with this relationship, and I think- no- no I don't think, I know that I like you. I have feelings for you El, and- and I don't care if that isn't what you want to hear or if you're mad at me or if I-"
His lips came crashing on mine in an instant, shutting me up. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to his body as one of his hands came to my cheek, cupping my face in his hand as he deepened the kiss, taking his time, making sure he mastered every bit of my lips. He tasted like mint and strawberry.
I parted my lips when he seeked entrance and I moaned into the kiss the moment his tongue found mine.
I loved it, I loved the way our lips moved in sync, damn... It only made me wonder how our bodies would move. In sync or even more connected than a sync?
My palms made their way to his chest, not to push him away, but to feel his heartbeat, to know if it mirrored mine, to know if our heartbeats were singing the same song.
And yes, yes they were.
I was melting, my knees felt like jelly and my body shuddered with awareness.
He broke the kiss, placing his forehead against mine. "I never thought it was possible." He said.
"What do you mean?" I asked softly.
"Yvonne... After Yvonne, I never- I never thought I'd feel this way again. In fact, I never thought I'd feel relatively anything but- there's just something about you. Something so different, something I knew was there before I even decided to change. It was the reason why I treated you like crap, I- I was scared that I'd feel this way again and honestly, when I decided to change, I- I didn't do it because I wanted to, but because I wanted to stop the endless drama, I wanted to make Grandma happy... But now, now that I'm starting to feel this way, I'm not gonna let anyone take you away from me. And even if you wanted to leave, I sure as hell wouldn't let you." He said.
I pulled away softly so I could look into his eyes, I don't know why but it felt like I needed confirmation, I needed to know if he really did mean what he said, and he did... His eyes said it all.
"I like you Fay. I can't explain it. It's almost like, it had been there since and it just needed a little push. I'm so used to you, and I honestly can't think of a lifetime without you, talk less of a day."
"You like me?" I asked like an idiot.
"Yeah, I'm sorry it took this long to realize everything. I'm sorry I put you through hell, I'm sorry for all the harsh things I said to you in the past, I'm sorry for denying my feelings for this long and I'm sorry for pushing you away each time you tried to reach out to me."
I smiled softly. "This seems so unreal." I muttered. "But- but it is real. So many I'm sorrys in one sentence." I muttered, resting my head against his chest. "I've forgiven you a long time ago. I forgave you the moment you said your first 'I'm Sorry' remember? The day after the disaster brunch?"
"Yeah. But I didn't really mean it then."
"I know, but you still apologized, and I know that deep down, you did feel sorry for ruining the brunch."
"Yeah, you might be right." He said, and I could tell that there was a hint of a smile on his face.
"So um... Do you forgive me now? For- for everything?" I asked.
He hesitated a bit, so I pulled away from his chest so I could look up at him. "Do you?" I asked him.
"No." He said, withdrawing from my hold.
He took two steps back and crossed his arms on his chest.
I was confused, and I was so sure that the confusion was written all over my face.
"Why? I mean you just said that you- that you liked me."
"Yeah, I like you, but I'm not forgiving you."
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "Look, El, I really am sorry, I know I messed up big time and-"
"I've heard your apologies." He cut in.
"So, what's wrong now?"
"I'm going to need your help with something, and until you render that help, then maybe I'd think about forgiving you."
I paused, staring at him.
What could he possibly need my help with? And why the hell is he even trying to make a bargain for it? I would gladly render my help to anything that he needed.
"What is it?" I asked him.
He took in a deep breath and then let it out again. "As much as I'm going to hate this, You're going to have to go back to Lucas."