A/N: Another Kirideku centric chapter feat. Sleepy Kacchan and Tired Boi Shouto. I know it's moving a little slow right now in comparison to Safe Space but it's for the plot, guys! The next chapter will be...better.
"Are you guys okay?"
The tension is thick enough between the two of them that Shouto could cut it with a knife, and it honestly isn't any of his business but they are his friends so he figures it would be courteous of him to at least ask.
Eijirou gently hands a sleeping Katsuki over to him, face covered in chocolate cake and Ellie clutched in his hands.
"I'm sure Katsuki will answer that for you when he wakes up." Is his only answer. Shouto doesn't push any further since Eijirou obviously doesn't want to have any variation of that conversation. "Ah. Thanks for looking after him. I didn't realize I'd be gone so late."
"Speaking of which, are you okay dude? You look like you got mugged by a gorilla on the way here."
Shouto grumbles. "Yeah well I didn't think Ojirou would be so fucking aggressive." Eijirou snorts. "So in short, you got your ass handed to you."
"I did not expect to be dealt hands that powerful. Also, being smacked with his tail is the equivalent of being tackled by a rhinoceros."
"He ping-ponged your ass, didn't he."
"I felt so disrespected and couldn't even defend myself—I had to apologize."
Eijirou and Izuku are laughing at his expense, which is fine since it does well enough to clear the air a bit even though he's far from joking. He's gonna feel that beat down for days.
"People shouldn't take Ojirou so lightly. If we didn't have quirks, he'd be absolutely dominating." Izuku points.
"He's already dominating."
Shouto definitely doesn't want to throw hands with him again.
"He's so underrated."
"I couldn't agree more. I feel like he should be interning with Aizawa and not Manuel." Eijirou says and Izuku scoffs. "They'd never get anything accomplished if Toshi and Mashi worked at the same agency. They'd just fuck every time they got the chance."
"You mean like y'all?" Shouto points.
Izuku scoffs indignantly.
"Don't attack me like this."
"After the kick in the balls I just took today, I'm all claws." Shouto says jokingly. Their banter is cut short by Katsuki stirring in his arms and Shouto adjusts him so that his nose is buried in the crook of his neck but it does little to nothing to lull him back to sleep.
"Daddy?"
"Hey, yeah baby. Daddy's here."
He begins to turn and twist excitedly, trying to sit up in Shouto's arms even though he can hardly open his drowsy eyes. He whines in frustration when he's not able to right himself.
"Now, now, shhh, it's okay. Daddy's not going anywhere, Kitten, I promise."
His response is a string of incoherent babble that sounds something akin to 'but daddy!' and a sob, but Shouto silences him by pressing a kiss to his neck and rocking him back to sleep, soothing him with soft praises and gentle reassurances.
"I should probably get him home before he becomes even more irritable. Thanks again for watching him."
"No problem! You know I'm always happy to help with him. Are you sure you don't want a ride home?"
"Our place isn't far from campus, Izuku, it's fine. I'll just use my quirk. You don't always have to muscle your way through everything, you know."
Izuku offers a sheepish smile, scratching at his chin.
"Sorry. You guys be safe, then."
"Will do. Congrats on your new internship by the way. I'm happy for you."
And just like that, the air becomes stiff again.
"Y-Yeah, thanks, Sho."
"Call you later."
"Sure."
He closes the door behind them apprehensively, unsure if he's prepared to face Eijirou on his own.
But it's not like he has any choice, really.
There's a dull, emotionless look in his eyes from where he stands in the middle of the hall, arms folded expectantly across his chest as his foot taps impatiently against the tile.
"U-Um...I...I don't know what to say."
A cynical laugh. "For once in his life Izuku Midoriya is speechless. No winded analysis or word vomit to spout? I'm impressed."
It's a hurtful comment that's dripping with spite and for the first time in a long time, Izuku doesn't recognize who he's looking at.
"E-Eijirou..."
"Quiet. You're gonna listen and then you'll have your chance to say what you want. We clear?"
Izuku nods wordlessly, mouth snapped shut. Eijirou pushes himself up from the wall, turning away and walking towards the bedroom. Izuku follows, unsure if he should be but unwilling to let Eijirou out of his gaze in fear that he'll disappear---that he'll leave him.
"I've always thought you were amazing, you know. There's never been a doubt in my mind about it---never been a moment where I didn't admire you. I've told you that before. Even before my feelings turned into what they are now."
He pauses in front of the bed and makes a motion with his hand for Izuku to sit down. He quickly shuffles to his seat, eyes still locked on his upset lover to let him know that he's listening.
"The first time I realized I might be in love with you was the day we saved Katsuki from the League. But the first time we had sex, before we even started dating, I was sure. I knew that it would be a stretch that you'd ever really love me back but you agreed to date me so you must have felt something right?"
Is that a rhetorical question?
Should he...should he answer?
"Or, maybe the idea of having a convenient dick appointment whenever you wanted was appealing enough for you to stay---"
"That's not---!"
"I said be quiet, Izuku."
There are tears stinging at his eyes and although Izuku, in hindsight, brought this monstrosity upon himself, all he wants is for it to be over and from things to go back to normal.
"Something deep in my heart told me that I wasn't good enough for you but I thought---maybe you'd love me still. So I never got upset when you didn't tell me you loved me back because I was willing to give you time. When you became so trusting of me that you were comfortable enough to tell me about your fantasies, I thought 'how fucking special must I be for him to confide in me like this?'. Come to find out I'm not that special to you at all."
He wants to tell him that he's wrong but he doesn't want to anger him further.
He doesn't want to cry, but he doesn't know what else to do.
"If you really loved me then why wouldn't you tell me? Why would you make me suffer that way? Are you ashamed of me? Of being with me?" Eijirou's voice cracks, body trembling as he raises his hand to tug at his hair. "Am I really that hard to l-love?"
"Eiji, no!" He can't stand it anymore, reaches out to hold him and beg his forgiveness. "Baby, you're so perfect! So good to me! I never meant for you to feel like I---I'm just scared, okay?! Please, please just try and forgive me; I'll do better. I just---"
"Scared of me? Izuku, I'd never hurt you! I'd never---why would I---"
"Not you, baby, I..." he takes a deep breath to calm himself. "I just don't want to let everyone down and I'm scared that if I...if I lose focus because of something like this then I won't be able to live up to All Might's expectations of me. I have to become the next Symbol of Peace!"
"...So that's what this was all about? You think us being together would jeopardize your career?"
"It could jeopardize your life! Career be damned, I don't want you to become a target because of me. God, Ei, I'd...I'd lose myself if anything ever happened to you."
"You're not making any sense! How? How could us being together put me in any more danger than it could put you in? We're both heroes, Izuku, we know what we signed up for."
Izuku is at a loss. He can't tell him about the secrets of his quirk---of exposing the secrets of All Might and every One for All user before him. He wishes that he could---so that maybe Eijirou would understand that it's not his fault.
He made that mistake with Katsuki and now he can't take it back.
But he can still save Eijirou.
Even...even if it means he has to let him go.
"I...I can't explain it right now. M-Maybe someday I'll be able to tell you but I can't right now because even mentioning it is going to put you in danger---more danger than you would be in by not knowing. I'm sorry, Eiji, I am but I---"
"It's about something between you and All Might, right?"
"...I can't disclose that."
Eijirou doesn't move or say anything at all for a while, just standing there to allow Izuku to hold him as if he'll turn to dust if he lets go.
"I don't know who you really are and it's scary." He says, finally, after five minutes of agonizing silence. It's quiet---weak. Izuku understands.
But Eijirou doesn't have anything to be afraid of.
"I'm still the Izuku you know me to be."
It's the best he can offer him.
"Can I trust you?"
"...do you?"
The redhead snorts. "Against my better judgement, yeah. Stupid heart won't let my brain run things anymore."
"I'll take it. I just...I need you to trust that I'd never purposely hurt you, Ei. And that I do love you---so in love with you. I've never been so happy and I've never wanted anyone else as much as I've wanted you."
"Don't say that, you're going to make me want to kiss you."
Izuku cracks a smile at Eijirou's pout.
"Maybe that's what I'm aiming for." The taller boy weakly pushes at him when Izuku leans in but he doesn't give up, lips pressing sloppy kisses against Eijirou's neck until he backs him against the bed.
"Stop, I'm trying to be mad at you---gah!"
They tumble onto the low sitting bed with a laugh and Izuku finally captures Eijirou's lips for himself. Laying there, looking into his eyes, Izuku knows this is someone he wants by his side forever.
"Stay with me."
"...okay. But you've got a lot of making up to do."
And he's still got the nerve to be pouting.
You're so perfect.
"I have no qualms at all with that. Let's start now."
"Yeah?"
Izuku strips himself of his shirt, straddling Eijirou with a lovestruck look in his eyes.
"I'll make it up to you all night."