Feeling bad is perfectly okay and telling someone your problmes i a great start. It's always better to say it out loud.
EDITED
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"POV: YOU'RE AN EMOTIONAL TRASH CAN"
//familiar?//
You are that typical loveable person, who everyone needs in their lives. You were full of happiness, energy and love. If someone was feeling down, they could go to you and you would always cheer them up. You always showered your friends with love and affection one of the reasons why everyone liked you. You were like an energy source, a goofball, a bit weird yet still love-able. You were always kind, always happy, always there to help.
Yet in the inside you were full of it. A lot of things were built up and every little thing, every drop of hatred was filling you with anger.
You've been down for a while but you hid it. You lied, you told them it was nothing. They always thought you cried over silly things, for example the main character died in you favourite series or you fell down the stairs, or you were just crying because of happiness .. but they were all just excuses. If ever cried it wasn't becasue of one thing, but multiple problems building up and over-flowing.
It was hard to keep it under control. All that pain, that emotion bubbled up inside of you, waiting for a release. You never lashed out on anyone before. You kept everything hidden, you only cried for real when you were alone. But even if people saw you cry you'd just make up a lie.
If you keep pouring water into a glass, either way once it'll be full; no matter how much you pour into it, no matter who pours the water, it's going to flow out. In every direction and there is no way to stop it.
After these years of letting others take advantage of your kindess, you got sick of it. You were sick of people robbing you out of your energy, letting others bring you down, helping other people but it wasn't mutual. When you needed help, when you were down and when you asked for help they ignored you and this broke your heart even more.
Your boyfriend noticed your change, he noticed that something was wrong.. but practice matches were coming up and he didn't have time for you and your silly things. You understood his decision, you understood he choose volleyball over her girlfriend's "little" problems. So you faked a smile and told him it was okay..
But you knew if you didn't tell anyone your problems you're going to blow. Just like a bomb. At first no one will notice it, it's ticking quietly. Out of nowhere it explodes and everyone is hurt.
You approached Iwaizumi full of hopes, knowing he will help and listen. But Oikawa got jealous over his own best friend. You tried to reason him but he only told you that you are putting more pressure on his shoulders and he can't deal with it now. Talk about toxic relationships..
It made your blood boil even more with anger, he was being childish and petty but you obeyed nonetheless, you stayed away from Iwaizumi.
After the practice matches ended, you went up to your boyfriend to congratulate him. You tried to forget the things you went through the last couple of weeks and get over your problems. You were ready to forgive him, even if he didn't even notice his faults. It seemed he was for some reason ignoring you. He was surrounded by his fangirls, which you had no problems with. Butt when you waved at him, he looked past you and flashed his charming smile at others, whole heartedly laughing at something someone said. This triggered something inside of you, yet you stood your ground and swallowed your hurt and pain. You turned around and walked away with a chin held high. You let out a shaky breath and blinked the tears away. You didn't bother turning around and so you missed your boyfriends agape mouth turning to an angry scowl.
Later on when you were drawing in your room, Oikawa texted you he couldn't go to your place to celebrate, because he had an important meeting with someone. You shrugged it off and grabbed your sketch book to go to the park. Your room felt suffocating at the moment, you needed some fresh air. When you arrived at the park you sat down on a bench. In the distance you noticed a familiar brown hair.. Oikawa was there talking to a girl. You didn't mean to stalk them, but a heart shaped box in the girl's hand poked your eyes out. It was obvious it was a confession so you walked away fast, not wanting to disturb them.
When you arrived at your house you noticed you were alone. It was rare due to the fact your family consisted of six people. You had 3 brothers but as it seemed they weren't home, neither were your parents. You sat down in your room and continued to draw with a straight face. A few seconds passed and tears started to drop on the paper, ruining your work. You choked on the air and dropped your pencil. You crawled at your neck feeling like someone was gripping it. The pain was blinding, screaming and crying didn't help it only made your chest tighten even more. You rocked back and forth for hours, sobbing on the ground with your head rested on your knees.
The next day you skipped school, pretending to be sick. When your parents left for work you sneaked out. You legs brought you to a playground, you didn't quite know where you were but you didn't seek to mind for now. The weather was chilly the whole day, grey clouds hid the usual bright blue sky from your eyes. It seemed to match your mood yet it didn't rain unlike you who was crying the whole day. You went home when the sun was was setting, it was better to arrive before your parents obviously.
The next day, you decided to stay home again to collect yourself. You wanted to be ready for tomorrow as it was the day you'll finally go back to school. Out of desperation, you started draw to get off your thoughts. You were beginning to feel better but then someone knocked on the door. You recognized the high pitched voice from outside, it was Oikawa no doubt. After some minutes he let himself in getting impatient.
"(Y/n)-chan, i need to talk to you!" - he closed the door behind him and started searching for you. - "I can't stay longer than an hour, i promised to hang out with my friends!" - he shouted through the house. His statement shot through your heart like a bullet, of course he didn't want to waste his precious time with you.
You stayed quiet, not wanting to give away your location which annoyed him. You were absent yesterday when you should have been by his side, congratulating him. You even left after the game and didn't say a word to him. He received no text or call from you and after this particularly long week, he wasn't in the mood to deal with your pettiness.
"Tch" - he scrunched his nose up at the thought and roamed the house.
His voice startled you, he was very close now. Suddenly everything came back to you and you started crying again and tried to muffle your sobs with a hand over your mouth.
"(Y/n), don't ignore me!" - he stomped angrily towards your room and barged in. He saw you crying on the floor with puffed cheeks and red eyes, you looked so weak and fragile. You expected him to comfort you, but something unexpected happened.
He shouted at you.
"How daRE YOU!? (Y/n) seriously what's WRONG with you? You haven't talked with me ever since the practice matches and here you are weeping on the floor because of some stupid series!" - there was a skip before he shouted his last sentence which made your blood boil.
"You are supposed to be happy for me! You CAN'T cry!" - he shouted angrily at you. That made you freeze and your tears dried quickly. All your sadness was now replaced with anger.
"Did i hear that right?.." - you whispered. You let out a sarcastic laugh and stood up with a furious glare. Did he just forbid you to cry? You out of all people deserve to cry. After all the bullshit you listened to, having no one but yourself as comfort, no one listened to you it was as if you weren't important at all and now your boyfriend who also made you feel like a waste of space is telling you, you can't cry?
"Tch.. you know what, i don't care what you're crying over. I'm leav-"
*SLAP*
The sound of your palm touching harsly his cheek seemed to echo in your room. The air suddenly felt much more serious and tense from before. Oikawa was stunned, his one and only girlfriend who never once in her whole life said one wrong word about anyone, just slapped him.
...
Oikawa touched his cheek with shaking hands and looked down to at the girl. He knew something was very very wrong now and he made a huge mistake. When he met her furious glare and icy eyes his blood ran cold. He shivered and gulped loudly, he felt rather intimidated by your angry presence.
"Honestly, fuck you Oikawa. Go to hell for all i care at this point 'cuz i'm done with your bullshit. Who the fuck do you think you are?" - you let out a light laugh and pointed accusingly at his chest. - "You have no right to tell me that! You are so full of yourself that you don't even notice the people around you! I am your girlfriend you bitch! You've been ignoring me for WEEKS, you acted like i wasn't important to you at all! You literally told me, my problems OR MY FEELINGS weren't important! THIS is NOT what a relationship is, you dipshit! I am NOT your TOY, or a fucking trash to throw in your bullshits in, i WON'T let you USE me anymore! Your BEHAVIOR DISGUSTS ME, YOU ARE LIKE THE SCUM OF THE EARTH! YOU ARE TRULY A TRASH, ABSOLUTE GARBAGE, A COMPLETE ASSHOLE WHO CAN ONLY THINK ABOUT HIMSELF! I I I I AND WHAT ABOUT ME HUH? ISN'T THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A RELATIONSHIP FULL OF LOVE? BECAUSE I DON'T SEE OR FEEL LOVE IN THE AIR ANYWHERE! IT'S ONLy about you, your flat ass and perfect face, like you are center of the earth." - Oikawa took a step back, your words hurt in a different way. He has never felt like this before since people always showered him with love and attention. You used to admire him so much, where did that all go? Why did you seem like you hated him?
"AHHH OIKAWA-KUN YOU'RE SO HANDSOME, PLEASE KISS ME, AHH YES PLEASE FUCK ME" - you imitated a high pitch voice acting like one of his fangirls. - "Go ahead and play with your fangirls i'm sure they'll give you the attention you want. GO PLAY VOLLEYBALL since you love it sooo much! It's much important than me isn't it? You girlfriend is OBVIOUSLY the last choice here. Oh wait. You said you need to hang out with your friend, wELL GO ON AND FUCKING HANG OUT! AFTER ALL I CAN BE KILLING MYSELF AND YOU WOULDN'T EVEN CARE!" - you closed your eyes and screamed at him with fury, you didn't even know what you were saying at this point, the anger was blinding you.
"No i-" - you quickly cut him off.
"No i'm Oikawa, you CAN'T be mad at me! You can't do this to me! You can't talk with Iwa-chan! You CAN'T FUCKING CRY!" - you imitated his voice and pushed his chest hard, shoving him out of your room. - "I won't be running after you anymore!" - you walked towards him, shoving him back with every chance you got.
"FINALLY you can do whatever you want because your GIRLFRIEND won't be there anymore to HOLD YOU DOWN! You life is not my concern anymore. I'm not putting up with your bullshit no more so go on and find yourself another girlfriend. Because I AM SURE AS HELL, you will never find a girl like me!" - You sarcastically said the last word and pushed him towards the front door.
"Now could you do me a one last favor, now that you completely ignored me the whole week..." - you smiled sarcastically and opened the door behind him. - "GET THE FUCK OUT" - You spat every word with venom and with all your strength you kicked Oikawa out of your house.
You quickly grabbed his shoes and threw them at his face before he could move and locked the door. When he progressed what happened, he started to bang at your door.
"(Y/n) open up, let's talk about this PLEASE!" - minutes passed and the silence began to make Oikawa nervous. - "H-hey.. don't tell me you are serious.. you can't break up with me.." - he whispered but you heard it anyway. The word can't triggered you again and so you yanked the door open and with a sadistic smile you said.
"Of course i can!" - you smiled brightly and shut the door.
That was the last straw.. you didn't care about anything anymore. You won't let people walk on you ever again. You won't hesitate anymore to step on anyone and spit in their mouths if they get in your way.