Beyoncé's POV A few weeks later
I put on a simple pair of jeans and T-shirt to get ready for the day.
I've been living out of a suitcase in Kelly's guest room once again, so my first stop of the day was going back to the townhouse to pick up some more clothes. I was sick of wearing the same stuff over and over again.
I used my key to open the door and stepped in and looked around, not seeing Jay, thank God. I didn't wanna see him today.
Our breakup has been so hard on me. Today is the first day I haven't cried, believe it or not, but I know that seeing him would just mess with my head for the rest of the day and I didn't need that.
"Jay?!" I called out, just to make sure he wasn't home.
No response.
I put my purse and keys down and went up the stairs to our, I mean his bedroom.
As I stepped into our room, he came out of the bathroom with just a towel around his waist.
I bit my lip and looked him up and down.
"You ok?" he asked.
I shook my head, snapping out of it, "Yeah, sorry, I'm just here to pick up some more clothes. I thought you weren't home, I called you."
"I was in the shower, I guess I didn't hear you," he shrugged.
I nodded. "I guess not."
I went into my closet and started throwing clothes and shoes into my bag while he got dressed.
I finished getting everything I wanted and walked out of the closet to see Jay just sitting on the bed waiting for me. When he saw me, he stood up and walked over to me.
"How have you been?" he asked.
"Let's not do this," I answered.
"I'm not allowed to wonder how you are?" he asked.
"I'm not yours to wonder about," I responded.
He looked hurt by what I said, but I knew it was necessary. I'm so weak for him that if I'm nice to him, that'll lead to me thinking I can be friends with him. Then, if I try to be friends with him, I know I'll just end up back in bed with him, so I couldn't play nice.
He opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off. "I'm going to look at some places tomorrow, so hopefully I'll be able to get my own place and get all of my stuff out of here soon."
He shook his head, "Bey, come on."
"Come on, what? You cheated on me, we broke up, why would I not get my own place, Jay?"
"I don't know....I guess part of me doesn't wanna believe that you were serious. Like maybe this is just a break but we'll be able to work everything out soon. You can't seriously just wanna be done."
"I'm dead serious. I told you, I can't stay. Not after everything you've done. It's over, we're over. You need to accept that."
He nodded, "Aight."
I rolled my eyes. I couldn't believe he still didn't take our breakup seriously. Whatever, when I move out maybe that'll help get it through that thick head of his.
—-
"Hey Usher," I greeted him as I walked into the studio.
"Wassup, Queen Bey?!" he said as he gave me a hug and friendly kiss on the cheek.
"Thank you so much for agreeing to do this remix with me," he said.
I smiled, "Thank you for asking me! I've been wanting to do a collaboration with you for the longest time, and I know our fans have too, so I'm glad we could finally make it happen."
He played the beat for me for the part II of his song, Love In This Club, and showed me the lyrics he had written.
I made some changes to the lyrics and added some harmonies and stuff and then we were ready to go.
—-
Baby, you know I'd be down
But we can't have all these people staring, standing around
This right here is only for your eyes to see
But you getting carried away, saying we can do it wherever
The way you touching me like no other
Trying your hardest to make me give in
But I'mma be down to give you what'chu wanting if you keep it up
I strongly doubt this velvet rope would hold me up
And I don't want security rolling up on us
I'm not hesitating, I just don't wanna rush
You could be anywhere you wanted, but you decided to be here with me No coincidence, it was meant to be I guess if I mess around and let you get in You gon' tell all of your friends You was on this remix, like...
I bopped my head along to the beat as we listened to the playback of the song. After a couple of hours of working on it together and going back and forth adding different ad libs and harmonies, it sounded great.
"What do you think of the finished product?" I asked him.
"I think it sounds perfect. It's gonna be a baby making song for sure," he said.
I laughed, "It's a hot song, you're probably not wrong."
"And your voice is just the right fit for the sexy lyrics...Jay is a very lucky man."
I blushed a little bit. Usher's had a crush on me since we did the Naughty Girl video together, and honestly, if Jay weren't in the picture, I would've made a move on him, I just never had the chance.
"Actually...Jay and I aren't...we broke up," I said quietly.
His eyes widened, "Damn, forreal?"
I nodded.
"I'm really sorry, Beyoncé. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied. "Sometimes things just don't work out, you know?"
He nodded, "I know...believe me," he chuckled lightly. "Hey, if it's not too soon, would you wanna go out for drinks after this?"
I smiled, "I would love to."
—-
"So I never told you this...but I kinda had a huge crush on you back when we did the Naughty Girl video together," Usher said.
I took a sip of my drink. "I know."
He laughed, "What do you mean you know?"
I laughed, "It was pretty obvious."
"Damn, forreal?! I tried so hard to play it cool, be respectful and everything."
"It's okay, it was cute," I said, flirtatiously touching him arm.
"Well I am here having drinks with you tonight, so I guess it all worked out," he said.
I smiled, "I guess so. I'm having a really good time tonight."
He smiled, "Me too."
—
We finished our drinks and went back to his place. I would've had him at my place, but I didn't think Kelly would appreciate me bringing guys back to her house.
"You have a really nice place," I said as I looked around. I don't know why I was being so awkward, I've know Usher for years. I guess it's cause it's my first first date since I was 19.
"Thanks, make yourself at home," he said as he poured as both a drink.
I sat down on his couch and he came over to join me.
"You're so beautiful, Beyoncé," he said, causing me to blush.
"Thank you," I said lowly.
He moved a strand of my hair out of my face before leaning in to kiss me.
At first, I kissed him back. His lips were smooth and soft. He was a good kisser, not as good as Jay, but still good. Shit, as soon as Jay entered my mind, it was all over.
I pulled away from him, breaking our kiss. "You ok?" he asked.
"I'm so sorry, I thought I was ready to move on, but I'm not. It's too soon, I'm sorry."
"Hey, don't apologize. I got out of a long relationship a few months ago too, so I know what it's like."
I nodded. "Thank you for understanding....I think I should go," I said as I stood up.
He stood up with me, lightly touching my arm. "Bey, if you decide you're ready to move on, I'll be waiting for you."
I gave him a weak smile. "Goodnight, Usher."
"Goodnight," he said.
—-
"Hey," Kelly said as I walked into her place. "You're home late, what've you been up to?"
"I was at Usher's."
"Ooooooh, like a date?!" she asked, raising her eyebrows up and down.
"Yeah, but don't get too excited," I said.
"Uh oh, what happened?"
"Well, we went for drinks, we had a great time, we went back to his place, we kissed, and I totally freaked out and got the fuck out of there."
"Aw, I'm sorry, Bey. What did he say?"
"He was totally nice and understanding, which made me feel even worse about running out on him like that."
"Listen, you and Jay like just broke up. And you were together forever, it's probably gonna take you some time to move on, it's normal."
I nodded, "I know it's just like, he was my first everything. I can't picture myself being with anybody else. Is it wrong that I still miss him after everything he did to me?"
She shook her head, "Not at all. When I broke off my engagement, I felt the exact same way for a long time, you just have to remember that you did what's best for you, and take baby steps. Like maybe you're not ready to go home with someone, but you can take the step of looking for your own place."
"Yeah, yeah, you just want me out of your guest room," I said jokingly.
Kelly laughed, "Oh shut up, you know I love you."