Niall's way of proving his innocence came in the form of a large white envelope with two tickets to his performance at The Late Late Show with James Corden and a handwritten note inside.
Kelsey didn't open it at first, instead letting the white parchment sit burning a hole on the kitchen counter for twenty-four hours. She was still angry, she was still hurt, and she doubted anything could make the pain she was feeling disappear.
Becca had told Kelsey about Niall's proclamation. And of course Kelsey wanted to believe it. Of course she wanted to think that this had all been a misunderstanding, and that maybe she hadn't been screwed over by a guy yet again. But the thing of it was, Niall's story seemed eerily similar to the plot of a poorly written romantic comedy. Even the weakest of skeptics would have a hard time believing Niall- and Kelsey was far from a weak skeptic.
But against all odds, something kept drawing Kelsey back to that piece of paper and its scribbled black script that was smeared slightly from Niall's left-handed strokes. She was once again holding it as Becca returned from work, chewing the nails of her free hand nervously.
"Have you made a decision yet?" Becca asked, sliding onto the loveseat across from Kelsey.
Kelsey shook her head, "It's probably not a good idea."
"Maybe not," Becca sighed, flicking her legs over the armrest of the couch. "But you have to admit you are curious. I mean you wouldn't be staring at that piece of paper if a part of you didn't want to hear his side of the story."
Kelsey let out a deep guttural sigh. "Why am I even considering it? We both know I have somewhat of a track record of getting screwed over."
"But in your track record of getting screwed over has a guy ever made the gestures Niall has to try and explain himself?" Becca argued. "Listen, Kels," she began again, sitting up and leaning forward so her eyes meet Kelsey's. "Staring at this piece of paper isn't going to make a decision for you, and quite honestly, the fact that you've been staring at that for two days straight goes to show me that you aren't quite ready to write Niall out of your life just yet. So what about this? You and I have been dying to go to a filming of The Late Late Show anyways. So we dress to the nines, we use those damn tickets, and then when we are there and you see him, you make the decision if you want to talk to him or not. If you do, that's great and if not, and you think he deserves a big old tomato on the stage instead, I'll be practicing my aim."
Kelsey let out a small chuckle at her friends comment. Becca was right though. Because as much as Kelsey tried to convince herself that this was just another man ripping apart her heart, a piece of her believed that Niall was telling the truth. She glanced down at Niall's scribbles again, running her fingers across the ink as if it would give her one final piece of information. Then, Kelsey set the envelope down on the coffee table in front of her and looked at Becca.
"Okay, we'll go."
********************
The second Kelsey stepped into the studio for the filming of The Late Late Show with James Corden, she began to wonder if this had been a huge mistake. Becca seemingly read her mind, putting a hand on her shoulder and guiding her towards their seats.
"Just say the words and we are gone," Becca whispered into Kelsey's ear as they took their seats.
Niall's tickets came with very specific instructions. After the show they were to make their way to the backstage manager and say that they were guests of Krystal. The idea of using the very person that may have ruined her relationship with Niall gave Kelsey a vile taste in the back of her throat, but if she wanted to talk to Niall, that would have to be her way in.
When Niall first appeared on stage, the crowd went wild. Well, the crowd went wild except for two girls sitting in the middle, politely clapping with a scowl on their faces. Becca had wanted to let out a dramatic boo, just to shake things up, but Kelsey had urged her not to. Mostly because she didn't want to draw attention to themselves and not because she didn't think Niall deserved it.
Kelsey nearly forgot how captivating Niall could be at first glance. With tight navy pants and a white fitted T-shirt and navy blazer, her heart took a few more beats. Even from a distance she watched as his smile lit up the room. But then she'd think about the girl that was likely standing backstage, the girl that he never even mentioned, and the small fire inside of her would be reignited.
The show goes by quickly. Niall was his usually charming self, sending even more doubts through Kelsey's mind that maybe she simply had fallen under his spell. But, no matter how strong the urge to get out of her seats and make a run for it was, Kelsey somehow stays seated.
It's during his musical performance that she noticed that he was scanning the crowd. But with the bright lights for filming and the lack of lighting elsewhere, Kelsey doubted that Niall could even pick out her face.
Becca noticed too. "Well, someone's looking for you."
Kelsey doesn't stay anything, instead she watched as Niall's energy filled the room. The sound of his deep brooding voice entering her ears and sending shivers down her spine. She didn't want to move her body to the beat of his music, but she couldn't help it, the rhythm was hypnotic.
When Niall finished his performance, the crowd cheered and Kelsey knew she had a decision to make; go backstage and find out what all this fake girlfriend business was all about or leave now and only see Niall on the TV screen from now on. Becca didn't say anything, instead staring at her best friend's face as if she was trying to read her mind. Kelsey brought her index finger up to her teeth, gnawing on the edges of her fingernails as if somehow that was going to help her come to a decision. But Kelsey knew what decision she wanted to make already. The decision had been made the second she laid eyes on Niall again tonight. The question really was did she want to go through with it?
"Okay," Kelsey said softly. The crowds from the show beginning to make their way to the exit. "Let's hear him out."
Kelsey and Becca are surprised at the ease of which they get backstage. They showed the backstage manager their passes, told them they are with Krystal and are quickly led back towards a dressing room.
It's her they see first. Kelsey can tell it's her even from a yard away. Her long blonde hair was stick straight behind her back. Her long legs accentuated by the tight black mini dress she wears. Kelsey wondered what she knows.
"Your guests," the man said, grabbing Krystal's attention. Kelsey watched as Krystal's eyes followed Kelsey from head to toe, no doubt examining her competition. She gives Kelsey a half-baked smile, the kind you give when you feel obligated to but don't really want to. The kind you can see right through.
Then he appeared, coming around the corner with his band. His conversation loud and rambunctious until he sees her. He instantly fell quiet.
Niall was surprised to see her. He didn't think she'd show. He'd hoped she would but he didn't think she would. He didn't deserve for her to show. Not when he had let her find out about Krystal from a tabloid.
The tickets were his Hail Mary. A last ditch effort in trying to mend a relationship that in just a short amount of time had come to mean a lot to him. He'd even begrudgingly involved Krystal in the whole scheme, trying to avoid any possible slip-ups of his secret.
He couldn't read her face as he approached. Her usual smile was gone, but it wasn't replaced with a face of anger. Instead, her lips formed a straight, emotionless line. He wasn't sure where he was going to start. He didn't know how he was going to explain this.
"You came," he said as she approached him, their eyes meeting for the first time in weeks. Niall's heart fluttered at the sight of her, and though he knew she likely wasn't happy with him the fact that she was even here in the first place gave him some glimmer of hope.
"I did," Kelsey replied, keeping her face neutral.
They stared at each other for a moment, locked in a stand off. Neither wanting to start the conversation or sure of what words to say.
Niall broke the silence first, his voice laced with a hint of nervousness. "Will you come with me? I have some explaining to do."
Kelsey nodded and followed Niall's lead. He brought her to his dressing room, his name printed boldly on the door. Inside, Niall took a seat on a long black leather couch. Kelsey awkwardly seated herself opposite of him, careful to leave a safe amount of distance between them lest she be tempted by his irresistible smell.
"I'm glad you came. To hear me out." Niall said slowly, wringing his hands in his lap. He was careful not to let his eyes linger on her face for too long, lest she might disappear in front of his eyes.
When Kelsey doesn't reply right away Niall continued. "I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision for you to make."
Kelsey sighed, her face breaking from its neutral mask for a moment. "No, it wasn't."
Niall saw the pain flash across Kelsey's face. He knew he hurt her, and he wasn't the first to do so. He couldn't undo the hurt, he couldn't take away that pain or that broken trust. But he could try to make it right. He took a deep breath. "I never wanted you to find out like that, from the paps. I should have told you the second we took things further than friends. And Kelsey, you've got to believe me I wanted to tell you, but things were so good and uncomplicated And well- my life is complicated."
"So the girl from the music video?" Kelsey asked, her mind picturing the girl standing just a few feet outside the dressing room door, the one that Becca is likely having to make painful small talk with right now.
"That's Krystal. And in the eyes of the public and the media, she's my..." Niall hesitated, because saying the words outloud to Kelsey somehow made him feel more ashamed of the plot he was part of. "She's my girlfriend."
"But she's not really your girlfriend?" Kelsey's voice grows slightly more interrogative. Niall can see the distaste in her mouth as she says the word girlfriend, as if the word is poison to her lips.
"No...she's an actress, hired by my management....it's..Do you want a drink?" Niall stood suddenly, running his now sweaty palms down the front of his trousers. He bounced around the room in an effort to combat the awkwardness that had befallen them. He needed something, anything to make this go down smoother.
"I think that'd be good," Kelsey replied, and for the first time since he's laid eyes on her tonight, Niall swore he can see the beginnings of a smile.
The only thing stocked in the dressing room mini fridge is a bottle of Jameson whiskey. Niall finds two glasses and sets them on the coffee table in front of them. Pouring out two large glasses, before bringing the stiff liquid to his lips and down his throat.
"The thing about the entertainment industry, is it's all about appearances. Who you are seen with, who you are wearing, who you are marketing yourself as. Before each album release, the record label sits down and tells me what kind of promo I will have to do, and what kind of image they want to sell. And so this year when I sat down they told me, 'Niall, this album is all about love, so this year you are going to be a man in love.' " Niall laughed to himself at the memory, at the pure irony that in assigning him someone to love he may have just ruined his chances with someone who he actually could love.
"I didn't want it. I've always prided myself on being honest and open with my fans, and everyone in my life. I'm a what you see is what you get kinda man. But then they sat my contract in front of me, and I didn't have a choice."
"But it's your music Niall, how can you not have a choice?" Kelsey interrupted. She sees where his going with this. That this was all some plot to promote his music. But was he really just a puppet to the record label?
Niall could tell Kelsey still didn't understand the gravity of the situation. The consequences it would have had on his career had he say no. He looked her straight in the eyes. "These are powerful people Kelsey. You can't just screw off one part of the music industry, they're all connected in someway or another. And I love my music, I love making music. And so I figured this one small sacrifice in my character wouldn't matter in the long run. And so they hired Krystal."
Kelsey didn't say anything, instead swirling the whiskey in her glass and watching it stick to the edges.
"What I didn't expect to do was meet you Kelsey." Niall's voice softened.
Kelsey sets down her glass on the table. "But why didn't you tell me Niall. If this is all for show why didn't you just warn me?" Her voice raised. Because this is really all what it came down to wasn't it. It wasn't that it mattered if Niall was in some PR relationship, it wasn't that he had not stood up to his label, it was the fact that he didn't even given her the smallest of warnings that there was something more complicated going on.
"I wanted to tell you. I just didn't know how." Niall trailed off. He thinks of all the times the words almost slipped off of his tongue, all the excuses that he'd given himself as to why it hadn't been the right time. And look where it had gotten him.
"And I guess a part of me was worried that when I told you you'd bolt. These people, my management, they aren't people to mess with. Make them angry and they can do some damage. I wanted to protect you from that. I didn't want to drag you into my lifestyle anymore than I already have."
"That wasn't for you to decide Niall."
"I see that now and I'm sorry." Niall's eyes pleaded with Kelsey, regret entwined within the blue irises. Niall looked at Kelsey, the girl who somehow captivated him in every way. The girl who he couldn't keep his mind off of. The girl who he may have slowly been falling for. He didn't want to lose her. He didn't want to give this up.
"Can we start this over maybe? This time without all the secrets?"
Kelsey bit her lip. She believed Niall she really did. And she liked him, oh man did she like him. But was it worth all the stress? All the sneaking around? All the possible consequences should someone find out?
"I know I've broken your trust. And I know you've been hurt in the past. So it doesn't have to be today, or tomorrow or even next week. But I'd like to start fresh," Niall continued.
Kelsey took a deep breath in. Maybe starting from the beginning wouldn't be such a bad thing. Maybe that's what they needed. No clubs and taxis and one night stands. A new beginning where everything was on the table. "Okay."
Kelsey watched as relief flooded Niall's face.
"I'm Niall," he said suddenly, holding out a hand for her to shake. She laughs at the formality of it, because even on that first night in the bar she wasn't sure they'd been formally introduced.
"Kelsey," her hand met Niall's and she felt that familiar spark from his touch.
"Nice to meet ya Kelsey. Can I treat ya to a drink?" Niall asked with a wink.
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A/N:Thank you so much for reading Voir Dire! I know its been a while since I've updated and I'm just going to warn you that from now on I'm not sure how regular my updates will be, as I'm about to start clinical rotations...eek. I appreciate your patience, and hope I can continue telling Niall and Kelsey's story soon!