Before we get into it, I feel like after this chapter my writing is starting to lag so please do give me advice. Hate is not welcome but constructive criticism definitely is :)
Cyrus POV:
It was getting dark outside with the beautiful orange light reflecting through the window onto the carpet. The ends of the sunset were stained purple and pink as the clouds passed over them to look like cotton candy. It was beautiful. Me and TJ had just been talking for hours (after our little dance session) with a bag of lightly salted tortilla chips each. It was peaceful, quiet, no one else was here. Which seemed strange to me as it was getting to at least 6:30. Ok so it's not like it's ten but still...
'Where's Amber?' I asked, taking some more crisps and eating them. What else was I going to do with them? Snort them?
'She's at Andi's I think,' TJ responded, also having some crisps but, unlike me, delicately makes sure he spills no crumbs.
I nodded, 'And your parents,'
He tensed up a little bit, he shuffled in his seat which if you blinked you might've missed but I didn't. That's when it hit me. He's Amber's brother. This entire time I've been counselling Amber because she's upset with her parents fighting all the time and not even realising TJ has the same problems. Shoot. 'I don't know, probably...I don't know,'
'That's ok! I'm sorry! I didn't...I wasn't-'
'Cyrus it's ok,' he reassured me, 'I know you didn't mean anything,'
There was a pause before I gestured towards the pride flag hanging above his bed, 'Did you tell them?'
He sighed, dragging a hand through his hair, 'No, they never come in here and they don't have social media so they won't find out, at least I don't plan on it,'
Thankfully the conversation picked up as usual shortly after as we were so caught up in it we didn't even realise the sun had disappeared over the horizon leaving TJ's room in pitch black. I couldn't even make out where he was if I didn't have the knowledge that he's sat right in front of me. I seemed to be having déjà vu. 'It's dark,' I stated, exactly as I did last time.
A second past before I sensed he was extremely close to me. The room was filled with the light from the small bedside lamp as I saw he really was close to me. His eyes held my gaze for a moment, it felt so fast as quickly, he sunk back to where he was originally sat at a friendly distance away from me.
I was about to continue a normal conversation when the record ended so TJ got up to change it. He flicked through a few before pausing, glancing back at me. I thought this was because he realised I was watching him so I averted my eyes before hearing the clicking of his fingers on the slim cardboard. Yes, that was definitely why...right? I then heard him pull out a record and set it up on the player. It wasn't long after that the music started to fill the room.
Play song
He said nothing as he sat back across from me, lightly bobbing his head to the beat as he just stared into my eyes. At first I thought this was a regular song but as TJ wasn't saying anything, I guessed he wanted me to listen to it. As in, properly.
Oh yeah I'll
Tell ya something
I think you'll understand
When I
Say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I tried to push away the thought that he picked this song on purpose because if there's something liking Jonah taught me it's that there's no point deluding myself about silly fantasies...hang on. Is he looking at my hand? No, he's just looking at my bracelet...right? I watched his eyes carefully, it was noticeable as the song played that his eyes were flicking from mine to my hand. Ok, no, this was actually happening. My heart fluttered furiously against my chest so hard that I was scared he would hear it.
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
So let me hold your hand
TJ pushed himself forward so that he was sitting so close that our knees were briefly touching. Yeah, this is real, I'm not imagining anything, this is 100% oh no I'm going to have a heart attack. His eyes lingered on my hand before reaching my eyes as if asking for permission. In return, I glanced down at his which was fairly close to my hand anyway, so close I could feel it. When my eyes made their way back to his he moved his hand slowly so his fingers were gently stroking the back of my hand. Sparks spread up my arm as I wanted him to just hold my hand already. My eyes watched his hand but as soon as I looked back to him he intertwined our hands.
I bit back a smile as I didn't want to look like an absolute goof. But that was pretty hard to do when your crush is holding your hand. As the song played on we stayed silent just listening to it as if it were our own words.
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
So let me hold your hand
With his free hand, TJ reached for the Polaroid camera on the bedside table and took a picture of our interlocked hands. He balanced the camera on his leg when the photo came out so he didn't have to let go. After putting the camera back he shook the photo so it would develop and taking his back pen he wrote onto it what I thought was our best caption yet.
I wanna hold your hand
May 18th 2019
Putting the pen back onto the table, he smiled down at the little Polaroid of us holding hands. It was so perfect, me holding TJ's hand in my pastel pink sleeve with my rainbow bracelet visible. I love it so much. He put it where the camera and pen also rested. The room was filled with silence as I just focused on the feeling of holding hands with him. I've never felt anything like this. I hope I feel it again.
Finally, TJ spoke, 'Did you bring your pyjamas this time?'
I rolled my eyes fondly, 'Yes, yes I did,'
He pouted slightly, 'That's too bad...I thought you looked cute in my hoodie,'
I thought my heart was going to actually come out of my chest. I'd only just adjusted to holding his hand and now he has to go and make me all flustered again?! Ugh. I knew my face was bright red as I just focused my eyes on the record player, 'Y-You going to play another song?'
He smirked, clearly glad he'd caused me to react like this. Stupid hot boy. TJ let go of my hand so he could do as I requested and change the record. Of course, it was another old record but trust me, he does have recent ones too. After sitting back across from me he said, 'Do you wanna wait till tomorrow to finish the project or you wanna start now?'
My indecisive brain battled with a definitive answer, 'Were you planning on taking more photos before tomorrow?'
TJ cracked a smile, 'I mean, I would take one of you but I'm not sure you'd appreciate your bright red face being presented to the entire class,'
This only made me go even more crimson as I internally cringed at my entire life.
He chuckled, going to get the box from the drawer of his desk and the cardboard we'd stuck most of our pictures on. It was mostly covered and actually in chronological order. The cardboard had been covered in black paper so it didn't have the amazon logo on it and our little Polaroid's looked amazing, curtesy Of TJ. He brought over two glue sticks and handed one to me after laying out the project in between us.
'Did you want to put that one on here?' I asked, referring to the Polaroid of us holding hands.
He bit his lip, 'If that's ok?'
This time I couldn't even hold back the happiest smile I'd ever shown, 'Yes, that's 100% ok,'
This had him mirroring my wide grin, 'We'll put it last, for chronological purposes,' he nodded, picking it up, lingering on the photo for a little longer than he usually would before glueing it down in the last spot in the bottom right corner.
We glued down all the Polaroid's we could fit on the black papered cardboard until it was completely full. 'What should we do with the rest?'
TJ glanced up at me with a mischievous look in his eye, 'What ones do you want?'
I processed this question for a few seconds before replying, 'All the ones of you in there,'
He was trying to fight a smile but it wasn't working, he searched through the pictures, handing me the ones of him and one of us. After he only had ones of me and one of us, he got a few pins out of his desk drawer. He chose pin colours that kind of matched the photo and stood up on his bed. I moved to the side so he could get to the wall his bed was leaning against.
'That'll leave holes,' I stated as if he didn't know that already.
Looking back at me he shrugged, 'I'm not planning on taking them down.'
TJ pinned the Polaroid's all around the outside of his pride flag until the box was empty. After putting the box back in the drawer, he changed the record on his way to sit back opposite me. We admired the work we'd managed to complete in the almost 2 weeks we'd spent together. The best 2 weeks of my life as far as I'm concerned. He gets me, I feel like he actually understands me. But then...what does all this mean? The holding hands, the flirtatious comments. What does it mean?
'What does this mean?' I asked bluntly, feeling anxiety rise in my chest as the words escaped my tongue.
'What does what mean?'
I slowly moved my hand back to his to intertwine them again, 'This,'
'What do you want it to mean?' He grinned, squeezing my hand.
I smiled shyly, 'I-I want it to mean something,'
TJ's thumb ran across my hand, 'Me too,'
'Really?!'
'Really,'
There was a pause where there was nothing but the hum of the record until TJ finally said it, 'Would you also maybe want to be my boyfriend?'
Euphoria hit me, as I was once again smiling like a goof, 'Yes,'
He ran his free hand through his hair to get it out of his face, 'This project has been more eventful than I thought,'
'I'll say!' I laughed, swinging our hands excitedly, 'Hey ummm...I was kinda surprised when you said you wanted to put the photo on the collage,'
'Yeah?'
'Yeah...I don't know, I just thought you'd want to maintain your image for school like you usually do,' I explained.
He shook his head, 'I'm done with pretending, I just want to be myself from now on,'
I nodded, 'That's very brave Of you...and for the record, I like the real you better,'
TJ ruffled my hair, 'Thanks Cy,'
'What are you going to do about Reed?' My mind cast back to that comment on the record player picture.
He sighed, 'Well, if he doesn't like me anymore then screw him, besides, I have you now,'
I blushed, 'Yup...so now that we're done can we watch a Disney movie?'
TJ rolled his eyes, 'You and fucking Disney,'
I grinned triumphantly, 'My pyjamas are Disney too,'
'You wanna get changed?' He raised his eyebrows.
'Yes!'
****
It was well past 10 when me and TJ were sat in front of the tv watching Frozen. My all time favourite. Judge me on it but I won't care. It may have just been regular spring weather or something about how realistic the ice looked on screen but either way. I was cold. Shivering, I clutched at myself in attempt to warm up but it wasn't working. TJ was currently sat close to me, but not so close that if someone walked in they'd think we're together. Unfortunately.
It was a few minutes until he realised I was absolutely freezing, he chuckled, 'Would you like me to cuddle you?'
I gave him my best puppy dog eyes, 'If you could...'
His arms pulled me closer to him so I was nuzzled into his chest that was covered with a blue hoodie. 'I actually love your Winnie the Pooh pyjamas by the way,'
Blushing even so, I cringed at myself, 'Mmm, thanks,' The tv glowed a majority of blue as I felt myself growing extremely tired.
I let out a loud, embarrassing yawn that caused TJ to chuckle, 'Do you wanna go to bed?'
'Mmm,' was all I could reply as I was in the mist of sleep and not asleep. Feeling strong arms around me, I was being carried bridal style into his room and was put down on the bed. Without his warmth, I began shivering again, 'Cold,' I murmured. A moment later, I felt clothing being tossed at me. This woke me up a little more as I found the same hoodie I'd worn previously on my lap. Happily, I pulled the hoodie on and snuggled into it. It was so soft, big and comfy. It smelled like him.
TJ sat down beside me and lifted the covers over us both. He scooped me up so I was back in his arms providing me with ultimate heat. I love this. I felt a kiss on my head, 'Goodnight Cyrus,'
'Night Teej,' I whispered back into his hoodie as I made sure I was as close as possible. It still wasn't close enough.
As my brain was about to shut off, it whirred back up again.
Oh my god.
I'm TJ Kippen's boyfriend.