Once those words left his mouth a could feel myself get worried. What if I don't pick the right one? What if I'm stupid and pick Kyle? Or.., what if I'm stupid and I pick Chandler.
I groaned out causing Sam to laugh a bit, " well said. " he teased, smiling. " listen. What do you want to do? Do Kyle or Chandler? "
" do them? " I asked, my eyes widening a bit.
" your going to have to fuck 'em at some point Natalie. " he said and I almost gagged.
I don't know why that almost made me barf.
" I don't know. " I admitted and Sam shrugged.
" well you can't fuck both. "
" I know. I just don't know if I want to fuck either of them. "
Sam raised and lowered one shoulder, " pick one. "
" I.. "
" it's not that hard Natalie. "
I sighed, getting up and grabbing my phone. " okay whatever.. Bye. " I muttered , shoving him out of my room as I dialed Chandlers number.
Chandler picked up on the third ring, as I was shutting the door in Sam.
Chandler; " what? "
Natalie; " I'm sorry. "
Chandler; " so your coming back now, eh? "
Natalie; " I- "
Chandler; " save it. I already found someone else, Her name is Brooklyn. "
As those words escaped his mouth and I heard them my heart sunk.
Already? There has to be a catch.
Natalie; " o-oh.. Good for you, Chandler. "
Chandler; " yup.. "
I sighed before hanging the phone up, pressing my hands to my face as I slid down the wall.
-
After an hour or so Sam came back for me , telling me it was dinner time but I didn't feel like eating.
Honestly I didn't feel like doing anything.
Bullshit. I trusted him, he was the one person I trusted.
But he blew it. It's done, down to sea, over.
Moments later a slowly stood up to my feet, walking to my bathroom Holding my wrist. I knew what I was about to do.
Quickly I found the drawer where I kept my razor, and I took a bobby pin, taking apart everything until I had a blade. Quickly I cleaned it until everything was off it and it was like new.
The I pulled my sleeve up.
Slowly I pressed the blade up to my wrist when I got a phone call.. Chandler.
At first I hesitated, not caring.
" just one cut " my brain continued to repeat but before I could slid the bald across my pale wrist I answered it.
" what? " I snapped at him through the phone, slamming my hand down on the table.
Chandler; " don't do it. "
Natalie; " what? "
Chandler; " cut. "
Natalie; " bullshit. I wasn't. "
Chandler; " well I got a feeling. "
Natalie; " and I have one too, your a dick. Bye. "
Quickly I hanged up. Done with him. He replaced me in a day, I'm not stupid enough to trust him again.
No.
Quickly I took the blade into my hand and after awhile made 4 semi-deep cuts in my wrist. Then I cleaned them, wrapping them up and cleaning off the blade before putting it away.
Nothing ever happened..
-
About an hour or so my stepmother called me out for dinner, but I said no. Sadly, I wasn't feeling myself. My arms ached along with my stomach. My brain hurt.. I continuously felt worthless.. everything was falling apart in my eyes.
but i guess that's my fault.. I trusted too easily.
I'm an idiot.
Slowly i laid my head down on the pillow, closing my eyes as i felt my pup slowly move its way under my arm, keeping me company.
A small, warm smile stayed on my face as I slept.