I'm falling. Down a black tunnel. I frantically try to stop myself. But am frozen. I'm falling and differnt shapes and shades flash before me. I fall. I fall. I fall. I can feel the ground coming closer to me. I brace myself for the impact. When I hit its like someone had turned on slow motion. I feel my legs hit first. It sends a shock through my body. My fingertips graze the ground. And my back slams down blowing all of the wind out of me. The back of my head bashes and its over. I lie very still. My eye's are still closed. I just think about breathing. I slowly open my eye's to see myself looking at the sky.
I sit up and look around. Beside me is Clara's body. Much like how it looked in my dream, rotting broken and decaying. I muffle a scream.
"Shh! Its okay" says a voice behind me. I jump up and turn facing my opponent only to find a boy about Charlie's age. He looks like Charlie too...looking like Charlie would automatically mean he looks like Reeve too, and an older version of Noah.
"Who are you?" I ask, trying and failing to keep fear from leaking into my voice
"I'm your brother" he says and I frown
"No...You can't be...." I mutter, eyebrows furrowed "My brothers are..."
"I'm your oldest brother. shocking I know. Hi, I'm Jason" he smirks playfully. Extending his hand towards me. I take it and shake it
"But Reeve is my oldest brother" I say completely and utterly confused.
"Reeve and Charlie had a third twin...Well I suppose a triplet. But our Mom lost me. I didn't make it off the table." he says, zero pity in his very blue eyes.
"I'm sorry" I whisper, unsure of how to react to this unsettling information. He merely laughs
"Don't be. If I had been born most likely you wouldn't have been" Jason shrugs and I nod beginning to understand. But it's like taking a crumb off a timbit with another doughnut sitting there.
I wearily ask "Am I dead?"
"No you are alive. You're Shadow kissed." he says, waiting me with careful eyes. Monitoring me, it's the same look my nurse gives me when she draws blood. Fear that I'll crumple, vomit, pass out, cry, or all thee above.
"Whats that?" I ask, playing along with this wild thought. and he looks at his wrist, he's looking at a watch
"You are dead and alive. You can die and come back. So you can't die until Leo dies. Because he brought you back. So when Leo dies you will too...like a link" he says, as if he was taking about the freaking weather instead of my lifeline.
"But then how am I here?" I ask with doubt lacing my words. Looking at Mom with a wrinkled nose
"Its your first time, this is the first time you've gotten hurt since Mom tried to kill you. So this was a easy spot for me to talk to you. But pretty much you can come over whenever. Keep in mind through that every time you do, you're dead. Your heart doesn't beat, you don't breath. So you're probably freaking someone out right now." he says with a chuckle
"Oh no...Leo" I gasp, panic surging through my veins. My blue eyes going wide
"So I will be able to heal again?" I ask and he nods "And how do I get back here?"
"Well... You concentrate on me. This spot. And that tunnel. Whisper "las sombras de la muerte" and you should just come, at least 'till you get the hang of it. Then it's practically second nature" he says, I let the information sink in. I seriously doubt that this is real, I must be dreaming this is too wild
"What does that mean? That whole 'las somaro de la mert' " I ask
"The shadows of death" he answers looking at his watch again
"Okay...i'll bite, so how do I get back?" I ask, not wanting to be stuck here forever
"The same thing, just think of Leo, where he is and the tunnel and whisper 'angel da la vida'" he smiles
"What does ángel de la vida stand for?" I ask sceptically
"Angel of life" he says "I don't want to rush you but I think you are really looking dead right now... So if I were you I would head back soon"
"Oh... Well Nice meeting you, I'll come back soon..." I say. Even if this is a dream, might as well play along. I close my eye's and think of Leo, Graces house going up through the tunnel. "ángel de la vida"
It felt like a rocket was strapped to my back. I was flying upward that black was getting lighter and lighter. At the end of the tunnel I could see a wall of light. I closed my eyes and just kept on going.
"Ryan" I hear Leo sigh and I smile. I open my eye's and find myself on the floor of the living room. I'm looking at the ceiling.
I sitting up and looking around. Mary was sitting on Logan's lap sobbing. Grace was crying and the girls were gone. Everyone's eye's were closed.
"Ryan" he sobs, his eye's closed hand in his face he inhales a shaky breath. I put my hand on his hand and he moves his hands
"Leo, love. I'm okay" I whisper, his red ringed eyes snap up to meet mine and he just stares at me
"Ryan" he repeats himself
"Leo" I reply. The family freezes. No one does anything but watch, tears have stopped and their eyes are trained on me
"You're dead" he forces the words out in a strangled voice and I offer him a warm smile
"No Leo, I'm alive" I say putting his hand over my heart "See my heart is beating"
"Its not possible, you've been dead for minutes now" he says drinking up the sight of me
"But it is... Leo remember when you brought me back? Well I'm bound to you now. I can't die unless you do...or something like that, the details are fuzzy" I shake my head as if to scramble the information and he pulls me closer
"That's not possible" cries Mary, and once again tear streams down her face
"Well... from what I'm told, I'm shadow kissed" I answer and Grace's eyes widen
"You're what?" Grace whispers with an ashen face
"Um.. I'm dead and I'm alive. I can go to both realms. I'm shadow kissed" I say, and hearing the words leave my mouth makes me see how crazy that sounds.
"Don't move... I'll be right back" she chokes out and hurries off to somewhere. No one speaks and Leo just sits there, holding me
"How do you know all of this?" Leo asks moving my hair so that it sits on the my other shoulder
"Jason told me... Reeve and Charlie would have had another brother but he didn't make it. Or, so he told me." I say, frowning at how nutty I sound and Leo nods but I can tell that it just goes right over his head.
Leo stands up with me still attaches to him and he wraps my legs around him. He sits down in the chair that we were in before and gives me a kiss. I smile against his lips. I hear the sound of small feet on the floor. I break away and find the girls with tear steaks down their faces
"Ryan?" asks Suzy I go to climb off Leo but he wraps his arms around me. Shaking his head
"I'm never letting you go" he growls and I smile resting my head on his shoulder.
"Ryan..Are you okay?" asks Mia, her voice weak and creaky.
"Yes girls, i'm fine" I force a smile and Leo traces the scars on my arms due to my second latest near death experience. Gosh, I should just be bubble wrapped.
"We are getting married soon" he whispers into my ear so low that only I can hear him. I nod and he kisses the side of my neck. Suzy gags and covers her eye's Mia gives Leo a look
"Leo, there are kids here" she says "Get a room"
"I honestly don't care" he rumbles locking his eye's on mine.
"Scared for life" squeaks Suzy and I can't hold back my laugh. I hear Grace coming down the stairs with a box in her hand.
"Whats that Mom?" asks Mia wiping her face free of tears
"Something for Ryan" she says. I twist so that my back is to Leo's chest he wraps his arms around my waist and she places the box on my lap. I look up at her with questioning eyes
"My Sister was like you" she says, her voice distant and bordering on empty
"Oh.." I bite my lip nervously. Slowly opening the box. Its full of books, journals to be precise. There are some lose pieces of paper floating around too. I pull out one of the floaters out and read it in my head, I feel Leo's eyes scan it along with mine
'Its been 10 years. In 10 years I've learnt that you never should go very long with out visiting the dead. It makes the trip there and back painful. I've learnt that the dead follow you places. And that I can talk to ghosts. I learnt that when I fight with Luke it makes me die again. Luke learnt that too and we have yet to fight since. I've suffered through nightmare upon nightmare of the souls that didn't get a second chance trying to kill me.
But everything is connected to Luke. When he's mad I'm Bitter. When he's sad. I'm depressed. When he's happy I could fly. And when we fight I die all over again. I can't be away from him to long or I get sick and dizzy. In the beginning I couldn't go 24 hours with out him, weening myself off him was painful. I believe it lead to the strength joint emotions.'
And that was it someone had ripped the other half off. I looked up at Grace with worried eye's. "Where is your sister?"
"She died when Luke died, years ago now" her eyes swirl sadly
"I'm sorry" I say and she shakes her head
"Keep those. Krista wrote everything down." She wrings her hands
"Thank you" I whisper putting the paper back in the box. And closing it
"I want you to be safe" she looks at me with a mothers concern
"I will be" I promise. Leaning against Leo.
"Why wouldn't she be?" Asks Leo, protection laced around the words. I turn so that I can see his face
"I'll be fine, we'll read those journals together" I calm him down by pecking his cheek
"I know. Because I'll never let anything happen to you. Not anymore, not ever again I also think you should call your Dad" he says, running his hand though his hair. Tossing me the phone
"Oh gawd" I groan, dialling the number with a grim face
"Hello?" I hear him say on the other end
"Hi Dad" I mumble
"Ryan, are you okay?! Angela is freaking out" he yells and I smile at the comfort in just hearing my Daddy's voice
"I'm fine Dad, Leo's taking good care of me" I reassure him and suddenly I hear something smash on the other end.
"Charlie, what?" I hear Dad say and it sounds like he dropped the phone
"What happened to Ryan?" I hear Charlie growl
"Nothing. Charlie, I'm fine. It was a misunderstanding" I attempt to sooth him, and fail miserably
"Angela said that you had died, Ryan. Dead. Gone. Dust in the wind. I'm coming and taking you home right now" he growls and I stifle a laugh
"That's not needed, Charlie, I am fine!" I promise "Where is everyone, all I can hear is smashing"
"That is everyone, Reeve is ready to kill Leo" he says and I can hear the smirk on his face
"No one is touching him, I am fine. You are talking to me right now." I huff and Leo pulls me closer to him
"Try telling them that." he smirks
"Put Dad back on" I say angrily
"Hey kiddo, Are you really okay?" asks Dad, fatherly concern dripping off the question
"Yes, please make then calm down" I pout
"I will. I miss you, when are you coming home?" he asks and my eye's get a little teary.
"Um.. I don't know Dad... Soon" My voice catches in my throat "Hey I've gotta go"
"Okay, Sweetheart. I'll talk to you soon. Call me if you need me. I will be calling Leo to clear this up soon. We love you" he rambles then hangs up. I hand the phone back to Leo. I put my head on his chest and close my eye's.
"You okay, love?" he worried
"I'm fine" I nod "Just kinda tried"
"Its late, you should get some sleep" says Grace. I open my eye's and nod. Looking at my family with new eyes. They're watching me like I'm a doll, ready to fall apart. Leo picks me up, blind to the panic Im causing his family, and brings me upstairs. Lying me down on his bed. He soon joins me, neither of us speak. Just just lie there. Thinking. I roll over so that I'm snuggling up beside him. He sighs and kisses the top of my head.
I begin to drift off to sleep when I hear a strange sound. A whistle. I pull my head up and Leo props himself on his elbows.
"What was that?" I ask, too tired to have the energy to fight another battle today
"I don't know..." he replies. I hear it again. It seams to be coming from outside. I jump up and look out of the window. Leo is standing right behind me.
"Leo" someone hisses in the darkness. I grip his arm as he opens the window
"Who are you?" he growls putting me behind him
"Come on, Man. Don't you remember us?" asks a second voice, this one female.
"Catie? Jake?" he questions and I can hear the smile on his face
"No, Leo its a ghost" says the female in a dull sarcastic voice. Leo bites back a laugh.
"Climb up" he instructs opening the window more. I look at him like he's crazy but he just kisses the side of my head. Whispering "Its okay"
"Dude, you need to open the window more, I'm not as slim as I once was." says the first voice. Leo walks me over to the bed. And then opens the window. I turn on the light and watch the people come in.
The first is the male who I assume is Jake. He's tall and looks strong. He kinda has a 'don't mess with me look'. The female who I assume is Catie has short hair that's wildly pink.
"Whoa. If we were interrupting anything..." suggests Catie with an eyebrow wiggle when she see's me in the bed. She covers her eyes and backs up towards the window. I blush
"Not yet" Leo answers and my cheek got even deeper red "Guys this is Ryan, Ryan this is Catie and Jake"
"Hi" I mutter awkwardly and they return it in the same manor
"So the party animal Leo has final settled down and found a mate?" asks Jake and its Leo's turn to go red
"Yeah...I suppose I have" Leo answers and I smile at my mate
"So did you guys do this often? I mean sneaking in through the window" I ask and Catie laughs
"No I never really came over, But Leo and Jake did this a lot" she answers, I'm thankful that she didn't spend much time in his room, as foolish as that may be.
"How did you guys know I was here?" asks Leo
"Mia called us, You don't even tell your Best friends to tell them that your back in town. I'm hurt, Man" grumbles Jake placing a hand over his heart
"I'll remember that, but no worries your leader is back" says Leo and Catie rolls her eye's.
"Some leader" she scoffs
"Well, there's a party Friday night if you want to join your old buddies" Jake crosses his tree trunk arms
"We'll have to see" Leo says looking at me with cautious eyes. I'm not sure if he's questioning me or my mental state.
"If you want to go Leo then you can go" I shrug "i wont stop you, go and have fun with your friends"
"I'm not sure if I want to leave you here with out me" Leo frowns
"I'll be fine" I reassure him
"I'm not sure I will be" he says sheepishly
"Great! So we'll pick you up at 8?" Catie makes the decision for him
"Um..Sure" he responds, rubbing the back of his neck
"So we'll let you to get back to.. whatever it was you were doing" Jake grins and I blush again
"Use protection" shouts Catie and they climb back out the window. I hear them land and Leo closes the window. He climbs back into bed, shaking his head at his troubled friends and I fall into a deep sleep.
A hear a sound. A weird scratching sound. I sit up in bed, Leo's snoring softly beside me. I look around the room, over in the corner there's something. I turn on the bedside light and scream. There's a pool of blood coming out of the closet.
"I'm sorry!" a mangled whisper comes from the closed doors
"Ryan, whats wrong?" asks Leo looking around the room frantically searching for something to attack or a reason to defend me
"The blood" I gasp. Getting up and stepping in a puddle of warm blood, my hands shaking from fear, my stomach clenches looking at the mess.
"What blood?" he questions looking around unable to find what I'm talking about. He must think I'm nutty.
"Oh my god, there's so much blood" I gag and notice the streaks down the walls spelling the words 'I'm sorry!'
"There is no blood, are you awake?" Leo whispers me standing up beside me, pulling me into his eyes. His eyes crinkled in worry, meanwhile mine are wide with fear. How can he not see it?! His room is practically flooded in red ooze.
"I'm sorry! I want to die" says the voice from the closet. I muster my bravery and walk closer to the closet. I place my hand on the door. My fingers shake the handle, Leo stands behind me with curious eyes.
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry....Please let me die!" the voice screams. Its a girl. I take a deep breath and open the doors. And she's sitting there, crumpled on the floor. Mascara is making her have raccoon eye's as she cries. The cuts on her wrists say "I'm sorry" like the message on the wall. She's thin, too thin. I can see every bone in her body. She has eye's that matches Leo's.
"Ryan, honey.. are you okay? Come back to bed" Leo begs, light panic tangled in his voice.
"Who are you?" I whisper, locking eyes on this poor girl. It become's clear that only I can see her. I'm not sure if that lessens or adds to the panic.
"My names Sheri" she sobs
"Hi Sheri, I'm Ryan... " I kneel down to comfort her and Leo sucks in a deep breath
"What did you say?" he asks me, his eyes mirroring mine in size.
"Sheri?" I say confused
"I'm sorry.... I need to be thinner... I'm too fat. Look at me!" She says clutching her flat stomach as if she had rolls of fat.
"No you don't," I say reassuring her, but I know I'm talking to a ghost of a girl
"What are you talking about Ryan?" asks Leo and his Mom and sibling have joined us
"Leo... Ryan can talk to the dead.... She's talking to Sheri" Grace chokes out
"Who's Sheri?" I question, flicking back between people, both living and not.
"I just told you, I'm Sheri" Sheri says and stops sobbing, looking at me with her big green eyes.
"Oh..." I say, shock filling in the unsaid words, looking at the resemblance between Grace and her daughter
"Sheri, why are you here?" I sit down beside her, trying to not look at the pool of blood.
"I didn't know that anyone could see me" she admits and I watch the slowly blood dry as she speaks
"Where do you go when your not here?" I ask
"I don't know... Just some place its nice there, but 4 years ago today is the day I died. I relive that day every year" she says sadly looking at her wrists with shame. Her eyes flick back to me, wide, open and pleading. I wish I could give her a hug. And by the silence her family is choking on, they must feel the same way.
"Sheri, you desereve to be happy, to be healthy" I mutter, deep in thought. Beside's my voice you could hear a pin drop.
"I've been watching you, Leo's glad to have a mate like you. If I hadn't....." She says gazing down at the wrists in disgust "Then maybe I would have found someone like he is to you"
"I'm sure you would have..." I offer a comforting smile.
"I can't believe he took my room. I told him he wasn't allowed to go in there ever." she says shaking her head but she's laughing. The blood is fading off the walls and the floor. She looks like I would have thought she would have in life. She looks about 16, with brown hair and green eye's. The spitting image of her mother, and sisters.
"Tell them something for me" she says and I nod "I love you, I'm sorry.... I wish I hadn't....But I was sick. I swear I'm happy now, or at least I will be after today, thanks to you. No Leo I wont keep haunting your room, which you shouldn't have taken from me. And Suzy and Mia you guys have grown up so much. Keep on smiling. Logan turn your music down. And Mom...I love you, and I never want you to forget that. Mary good luck with the twins. And Ryan, don't be afraid of the dark. Now I'm moving on for good. I'm going over to the other side and writing my name of that little sign in paper. I hope I wont see you there for a long time. Just remember I'm singing with the angels now." and fades away waving at her family good bye as she goes
I repeat it word for word. They all smile when they hear their dead sister or daughter mention them, the smiles are sad and worn. But they're smiles none the less
"Thank you, Ryan... I never though we would get the chance to say goodbye" says Mia who wipes some happy, yet sad tears from her eyes
"Yes...Thanks you Ryan" says Logan, I smile at him. Oddly enough he returns it
"What time is it?" groans Suzy, rubbing her sleepy eyes
"Early morning, you should get some sleep" says Grace and brings Mia and Suzy back to bed. Mary and Logan walk off and just leave Leo and I. I'm staring at the closet wondering how Leo never mentioned that he had another sister.
"We should go back to bed" Leo says with an empty voice after what seemed like forever
"I don't think I can" I admit, looking at the box full of Graces sisters stuff
"I found her... in the closet." he whispers and i turn to face him. He as well had been staring in to the empty closet that has a blood stain on the inside. His face is as white as a ghost, his hands shaky, his eyes empty and wide.
"Oh Leo...." I hum, walking towards him after closing the closet door
"I tried to stop the bleeding but it was too late, she never wanted me in her room in the first place. But I snuck in just like any kid would do to bother his sister. And I found what I assume you saw now." he says tucking his nose into my hair and breathing in, his breath is wobbely and I know he's holding back tears.
"I'm so sorry" I comfort sitting down on the bed. He pulls my legs up so that I'm sitting on his lap. I rest my cheek on his shoulder.
"Well shouldn't we read the books?" he asks dully.
"Yes.. I suppose we should" I say, taking my time getting up and rooting through the books till I find what appears to be the first
"Here's number one" I say opening it up. Handing it to him. He gives me a puzzled look
"Why arn't you reading it?" he asks
"Because i'm going to visit Jason, Now remember that I'll look dead and sound dead. And wont breathe or move. But I am not dead, or at least so I'm, told. I'm still pretty skeptical" I say clarifying that.
"Who's Jason?" He says, his eyes flicking to black for a millisecond.
"My alegeded dead brother, I'm not even sure if this will work. But I need to try" I heave a tired sigh
"i'm not sure if I can watch you die again Ryan...." Leo says with a pained look on his face
"I'm not dying Leo, just playing dead. I'll always come back to you, I just need to clear some stuff up." I say lying down on the bed. Concentrate on Jason, The spot, the Tunnel "las sombras de la muerte"
Once again I'm falling but its not nearly as frightening this time. I'm still falling to what seems like my death but its not as 'OMG! I'm gonna die!' kind of feeling more so a... 'Oh Gawd.' But when I reach the end I'm standing beside the body of my mother, with my brother sitting on a near by log
"Hey, long time no see" he jokes
"Hi, Jason" I greet him, paraically shocked that it worked.
"Back so soon, something wrong?" he asks
"Well.... No one told me that Leo's older sister committed suicide in the bedroom that we are sleeping in. So I got a little late night visit." I say dryly. and he smiles a knowing smile
"Ouch, How did you handle it?" he asks
"Well... They have had someone else who's 'shadowkissed' in there family so there wern't freaking out. And she said her good byes. And it went well. She seemed ready to move on." I say confident that I did the right thing
"Good job, remember that some of them wont be as easy to get rid of. Some will want to stay on this side. But its better for them to cross over" he nods, twirling a twig bewteen his fingers.
"Jason... Why haven't you crossed over?" I ask
"I have, little sister. It's complicated. Let's just call me your spirit guide.Which I'm not but sort of the same thing. I feel it when you need me and I'm there. I know when you are going to come, its just a feeling. And I go when you go. I just show up here" he says and I nod
"Do we always have to come here?" I ask not really wanting to be having heart to heart conversations with mommy dearest lying there
"For now yes, which I know sucks... but... when you have more control and power then we can move your spot. But you are a ghost when you do this. Remember that" he says and I force a smile and nod.
"Okay, how do i work on controlling it?"
"Just keep doing what you did today, come and visit me often like at least once a week and... Well.. I'm a beginner too. So I don't really know" he says and I laugh
"Well we'll learn... Can I tell people, I mean, I wont go crazy but like my family?" I question, hoping I didn't already break a rule. I mean it;s not lke I was given 'Being Half Dead 101' or anything.
"Sure, lots of people probably wont believe you" Jason says smiling with sympathy "It wont be the easiest thing in the world. Being able to see ghosts"
"Well I just need to turn in to a vampire and I can be myself for Halloween" I say with a laugh
"I'd love for you to stay but I'm sure Leo is having a panic attack right now. So you best be getting back to him. " says Jason. I give him a quick goodbye hug and he returns it. I step back and focus on Leo, his bedroom, The tunnel and whispered
"Angel da la vide" with that I was thrust upward once again. Fying towards the sky I laughed and twirled as I departed the world of the dead. I saw the light at the end and plunged towards it. I found myself lying and Leo's bed just like I had been when I took my first breath.
"Thank God" Leo sighs, preppering my face with kisses and giving me a hug
"I told you I'd be back. As long as you're alive I am too Leo" I craok out with a sleepy voice sitting up and smiling
"Its like 8:30, you were gone for a long time" he says and I frown
"It felt like minutes..." i say and now realize why Jason has said that Leo was freaking out "Was it like this last time?"
"No. You were only gone for like 10 minutes then..." he says and I nod, a frown on my lips. I will need to work on that.
"What did you learn?" I ask motioning towards the book on the bed
"Not much, just that she came across her first ghost about a day after she met her 'guide' and that the journey to and from where ever you go is dark but feels like flying" he says with a bored look on his face
"It is flying. At first its falling but when we come back we're flying." I smile "I'm going to go and have a shower"
"Okay, I've already had one so, I'll be down stairs" he says and I nod hoping in the shower and letting the hot water calm my tense muscles. I get dressed and prepare for the day ahead of me. A day full of reading Krista's old books and figuring out what being Shadowkissed is a gift or a curse.
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A/N- A big thanks to anyone and everyone who's reading, its my first books so there are a ton of stuff that needs work.
Today is my best friends (Not my wattpad best friend but my real life best friends) birthday. Today she took her first teenage steps! Her wattpad account is Sydney12366 so please go and check her out. :) And a big thanks to liveoutloud23 because is is just amazing and beautiful! :D
Thanks a tonne! Keep on smiling
xoxo Emma
P.S.
I discovered the term 'Shadowkissed' in one of my favourite books, Vampire Academy written by Rachel Mead (excuse my poor spelling). I didn't steal her idea, merely the word.
Thanks again
Emma Rose