You stand up strait and wipe the water from your mouth. Stepping away from the water fountain, you place your hand on the wall to steady you. It's been a long tiring day.
You walk down the long white hall and through the set of blue double doors to the set. Dylan and Chris are talking to each other across the room. Will, Blake and some of the others are playing a game where you interlinking hands and do some kind of wave. And there I'm the very back on your little orange love seat sits Thomas.
He's writing something. His brows furrowed in concentration. You lean against the doorway just watching him for a minute. You're going to miss him so much. You have such a limited amount of time left with him. You don't want him to go. Both of your lives will continue to go on normally as you're each half way around the world. Well, maybe not completely normally. You know that, at least you will, think about him everyday. If not constantly.
You hear a commotion come from the group Will and Blake are in and hear someone shout, "FREAKING DANCE!"
"SHOWOFF!"
And one of the guys runs away from the group as Will claps and laughs.
You sigh ands smile a bit as you step forward approaching Thomas. As you get closer you peer over, trying to see what he's writing. A smallish sheet of notebook paper sits in his lap. He writes the letters carefully, putting thought into his words.
"What are you writing?" You ask, trying to read the words.
Thomas jumps, "Nothing." He tries to hide the paper.
"Oh, obviously." You roll your eyes and smirk a bit.
"It's not ready for reading yet. But I promise you, " he says looking into your eyes, "When it is, you'll be the first to read it."
You smile softly, "I'm going to hold you to that."
He sighs as he looks around the studio, "I can't believe we're almost done."
You search the crowd too, "I know."
Thomas looks over at you, "Come sit by me and think about life." He pats the spot next to himself.
You walk around and sit carefully down. He wraps an arm around you and you snuggle down, buring your face in his shoulder, enjoying his even breathes and his heart beating about a million times an hour. He nervous. You smile thinking about it.
You're going to miss a lot about this place. First of all - the people. You think it's safe to say by now, Dylan, Ki and Will are some of your best friends. Dylan is so goofy and quirky. Ki can be a little dumb but he can also be really smart and strong. And Will is hilarious. He thinks things out quietly and comes up with a smart remark. Chris and Blake are just adorable. Sass and all. You're going to miss Alm busting out in crazy dance moves at random times. You're going to miss Shea and Sarah's constant talking and fashion advice. You're going to miss Franks kind smiles and Mr. Balls' judgmental stares. You're even going to miss Kayas looks of anger and jealousy.
Plus the routine. Rushing around the set, putting on makeup, practicing worried looks....seeing all the props and green screens. The hourly texts when you aren't at work, saying how things are going.
You're going to miss it all. But most of all....you're going to miss Thomas Brodie Sangster.
- - - -
You throw on some flip flops and open your front door. A humid summer night. You hope your neighbors don't judge you for walking out in your pajamas. You quickly walk down the apartment stairs and over to the mail boxes. You pull out your key and unlock your box.
Oh great.
A bill.
A bill.
A bill.
And let's take another guess, shall we? A bill.
You flip past another letter and you stop.
A not-bill.
Hey.
Cool.
You like not-bills.
You look for a return address to see who it's from but there is none. You frown.
Guess there's one way to find out who it's from.
You quickly walk back to the stairs and jog back up to your apartment. You open your door and walk in to the cool safety of your apartment. Your footsteps echo against the walls as you walk through your front hall and into your living room. You sit down on the couch and grab a blanket.
You rip open the envelope and pull out the contents. On notebook you find small neat letters in a very farmilliar handwriting.
Thomas.
Your hreart skips four beats evening thinking about Thomas.
Which really scares you because you're going to have to let him go soon.
You look at the contents of the letter.
And tears form in your eyes.
"Dearest Iris,
Don't worry. This isn't a break up letter. There is no way on earth I am breaking up with you ANYTIME soon. If ever. I don't think it would be possible to even be just friends. Simply because, even if we were, a little part of me would always love you.
My Mum always told me that when you meet someone they're either a blessing or a lesson. And you, my flower, are most certainly a blessing. One of the best I've ever received.
Do you remember that night we first kissed? How before it all happen I sung that one song. I want you to listen to the lyrics carefully next time you hear it. Because if ever my heart could sing a song it would be that one - but only when I'm around you because, like the song says, I can't contain the way I feel when you're here by my side.
I want to tell you, now, that you are not an ordinary person. Iris, you are kind, and intelligent, and beautiful, and an important part of my life. You recently came up to me and asked me what I was writing. This is your answer. Believe me when I tell you, I do not look forward to leaving you. What we have is a rare thing. It's not quite full blossomed love but it's not just friendship. It is a blessing in my life. YOU are a blessing in my life. Now I relaize I'm not good at this whole mushy stuff and charming women, but I have to share how I feel. And I figure a love letter, is the best way to do that. When I leave read over these words again and again.
I know i dont deserve you at all. But my feelings will not change. And I hope yours won't either.
Love,
Thomas"
You cover your mouth with your hand, tears running down your cheeks. Now it's just going to be harder to let him go. But you have to write him back. You snatch some notebook paper. Might as well write it while you're in the moment.
Thomas,
You are the one I compare everyone else to. If we did break up, I would never be content. I would always try to find someone like you. Which wouldn't be fair to my other half, but you've got me captivated. In a sea of people my eyes will always search for you.
Do you know what I love about you the most? The fact that we've been out so many times - in public and around so many girls who are more revealing and might as well go ahead and say it, prettier than I am. But I have never once seen you look at another woman when you're with me. I really appreciate that. It's a good quality.
I saw something on the internet, that said, "Marry the man you want your son to be, and the man you want your daughter to date." You are just like the man I want my children to be and adore.
I know you say you don't deserve me. But I don't think I deserve you. Maybe that's why we should be together. The reason both of us DO deserve each other. Because we think we don't. Isn't that poetic? :-)
I assure you my feelings will not change either. I am sending this to your house in London. So when you get back you'll get this letter and have a little piece of me with you too. Read over my words as well. I am counting the days til I see you again.
Love,
Iris
You read the words over and over again, becoming more and more sure of them with each second. You find an envelope and stick the letter in it. Then you get an idea.
You run to the bathroom and put on red lipstick. You bought this for special occasions. Right now is a very special occasion. You grab a piece of plain paper and press your lips to it. When you pull away red lip marks are stuck on the paper. You smile and put it in the envelope with the letter.
You seal the envople and then put it in your lap staring at it. Smiling like a love-sick dork. Then you grab the letter from Thomas and read it over and over again, just like he instructed, into the late hours of the night.
Author:
NEXT CHAPTER IS THE DATE THOMAS LEAVES.
- -
O
(That was supposed to be a funny face, BTW)
-MK