in a universe where jay actually fucking sleeps
~~~
[somewhere, in the middle of a clearing where everything is oversaturated]
Jay: ...How blackout drunk did I get?
Slime: Like seven!
Jay:
Slime: Seven whole drunks.
Jay:
Slime: Seven.
Jay: Okay. [takes out phone and goes to call someone but the phone turns into a banana] End me now.
Slime: How many?
Jay: What's the threshold for ending people?
Slime: Up to ten!
Jay: Maybe a three, then.
Slime: No, you can't choose three.
Jay: What? It's on the threshold!
Slime: Someone else already chose three, you can't choose three. Three is taken.
Jay: ...Four?
Slime: Someone chose four too.
Jay: Five.
Slime: Someone already chose five.
Jay: Okay, fuck, fine, ten.
Slime: Someone chose ten.
Jay: ??????????? Three thousand four hundred and sixteen.
Slime: Oh, sure.
Jay: WHAT
Slime: [sprouts a hand and slaps jay into 'unconsciousness']
---
Jay: JESUS
Stephen: We're having a tea party.
Jay: Why are you having a tea party in a GIANT BLACK VOID. [sits down at the table]
Hosuh: It's not a giant void, there's a waterfall right there. [points to where a waterfall just showed up]
Jay: But where's all the water coming from?
Daniel: Fear.
Hosuh: Fear of tea.
Jay: ??? You're drinking tea right now.
Hosuh: [spontaneously combusts into tea]
Jay: AAAAAAA
Stephen: Here's. [breaks teacup] The motherfucking. [smashes teapot on ground] Tea. [slams chair into table]
Daniel: Hey, I was eating that table cloth!
Stephen: No you weren't.
Daniel: I guess you're right.
Jay: You guys sound like Skyrim NPCs! And-- And Hosuh just EXPLODED!
Daniel: He does that, where have you been?
Stephen: Maybe he's not Jay.
Daniel: Ah.
Jay: Am I on something???
Stephen: We are on an airplane.
Jay: [slips and falls off airplane that suddenly appeared]
---
Jay: WHY DOES THIS NEVER END.
Ivu: [following an unending line of yarn] I have no idea...
Pau: HUEEEEEEEEEH
Jay: What's got you upset?
Pau: Jenny ate my dog!
Jenny: I hungered!
Jay: Jenny, what the hell?!
Jenny: Mona told me to do it!
Mona: It was all Jenny's decision to make.
Shai: Jenny's a liar.
Jenny: Not true!
Jay: Do any of you know what's going on here?
Chris:
Erich:
Ria:
Izzy:
Kay:
Makaruu:
Jamie:
Puffin:
Dingo:
PJ:
Laddi:
James:
Maaz:
Turtle:
Jay: I'll just go fuck myself then...
Bella: But which self?
Jay: ..what do you--
Jay2: YOU!
Jay: YOU!
JoCat: The battle of the century... [conjures popcorn out of thin air]
Jay: NAME STEALER
Jay2: It's not stealing if I just filled in the shoes of someone who was once named Jay!
Jay: Yeah, well I'm stealing my name back! I'm the more powerful Jay!
Jay2: Be grateful that you can use your name, even. If it were up to me I would ban anyone else named Jay since I'M the better Jay!
Jay: And I'M the PRIORITIZED Jay!
Jay2: TAKE IT BACK
Jay: My name or my words, HEATHEN?!
Pau: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Jay2: [throws a mean left hook and jay gets knocked the fuck out]
---
Ann: Ah, you're finally awake.
Jay: What the FUCK am I in a neverending cycle of NPC tomfoolery and varying degrees of pain?!
Ann: Probably.
Jay: Why are we in a boat?
Ann: Bears like boats, and I'm gonna get a bear friend today.
Jay: They'd probably maul us both.
Ann: Both?
Jay: Yeah?
Daniel: [shouting from a pirate ship behind them] WHAT UP
Jay: HOW DID THAT FIT IN THIS RIVER
Ann: HELLO
Daniel: WE GOING BEAR HUNTING?
Ann: YOU KNOW IT
Jay: What the fuuuuuck.
Stephen: [throws sword at jay from the ship] SWORE!!!!!!
Jay: [watches the sword fall into the water] I think you meant to say 'sword'.
Stephen: I know what I fucking said!
Daniel: SWORE!!!!!!!!!! [slaps stephen]
Stephen: [disappears]
Hosuh: Daniel there's pink dolphins with machetes under us.
Daniel: Like in that one Dora the Explorer episode?!
Ann: I thought it was Diego.
Daniel: I'm pretty sure it was Dora.
Ann: No, it was definitely Diego.
Jay: PINK DOLPHINS HAD MACHETE IN A KIDS' TV SHOW?
Hosuh: No but let's act like they did.
Pink Dolphin: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA [stabs the pirate ship]
Jay: IT CAN YELL?!
Daniel: Not my first rodeo with yelling things that shouldn't yell! HIYAAAAAAH [attacks the dolphin]
Jay: NO IT'S SO PRETTY [tries to reach out to it]
Ann: We must move onward!
Jay: DOLPHIIIIN [gets stabbed by a second dolphin that stabbed right under him]
---
Jay: [wakes up]
. . .
Jay: I'm never sleeping again.
~~~
HOWDY HEY im still crying about jay singing at the end of his stream!!!!!! (also jay humming the floaroma town tune is blessed) it'd be a shame if he privatized it for that sole reason :( i didn't watch all of it because four and a half hours is a LOT but i did skim it. jay needs a better sleep schedule >:(