They spoke in riddles.
Every word hitting my mind but bouncing back.
My memory absent, making the words they spoke sound more like a foreign language.
Clyde was here.
Pierce knew where he was.
Pierce was hiding something.
Even more, than that though, was the fact that someone got let free and Ben was worried about my safety. That woman, Avalon. Her name made my ears ring yet I couldn't match her face to her name...
Her voice was shrill in my ears and his laughter was just as loud. My wolf had heard, I felt his movements, felt his intense distress. Something was wrong. My wolf knew, he knew because he was keeping his secrets from me.
What was the point in all of these secrets? Was it helping me by me not knowing?
I felt the first tear fall and couldn't help but swipe angrily at it.
Anger.
Rage.
I felt it building, bubbling inside me.
Frustration.
Fear.
Both close contenders but the raw emotion was fury. Everyone was hiding things from me. No one could give me a straight answer, no one listened. Pierce had been avoiding me since coming here. His touches were merely distractions. His words merely manipulative secrets. I was in the dark. The remorse I felt towards the cat was still there and strong but listening to the two speak about hidden Alphas, released Betas.
I felt my blood run cold. My heartbeat thumping harshly in my ears.
I could hear it.
Ba-dum
Ba-dum
It was a chill, goosebumps, a cold sweat, followed by a blistering throb at the back of my head. The release of forgotten faces, the onslaught of all those words once spoken. It was cold, the memories raw. The actions horrendous.
That night.
I felt it all.
The kiss, the howl, the heat, his call, my answering.
I remember it all clearly.
The feeling of life.
The parasite, my fears, the hatred.
My ears thumped with the reminder.
Ba-dum
Ba-dum
Clearly, I could remember.
I could feel the pierce of my flesh, the first attempt and then the successful one.
I could see the hurtful eyes that Pierce gave me.
Bile crept up my throat my wolf fought me but my hands were already grasping at the memories. His fear for the Beta allowed the memories to escape. I had them all now though, and I wasn't going to let go.
Grasping my ears I tried to shut out the voices. I needed to remember so I knew.
The betrayal I had felt from those around me.
I could recall it all.
Avalon. The demand for the small life to be born, the demand for the mating. Her spiteful words.
I couldn't stop the vomit from spewing out of my mouth, couldn't prevent the tremors from wrecking my body. Arms tried to grasp me, but I struggled.
Filth.
I was trash.
Pierce's scent tried to penetrate my senses, I could smell the mark, could feel his Cat, but I pushed back. It was all there. All of it.
My skin felt like ants crawling, I could feel the hands, could feel the small life in my grasp.
I felt it.
My eyes snapped open and all I could see was the blood. My hand rose up and there it was. The life.
The life I ended.
It's beating heart.
I could hear the flicker of life.
And the grip.
I remember ending that horrible sound. Ending that beating heart, that little parasitic mistake.
I ended it, with my hands...
But, I hadn't followed.
Thrashing against the arms that tried to keep me still, I lashed out with my teeth, biting into flesh, the rage I had lost coming back with a vengeance.
My mouth filled with blood that wasn't my own.
My wolf coward in my mind.
The fury was blinding.
I felt myself shift, my stomach, the place that once housed a mistake screamed in agony but I ignored it. It was my pain to bear, my disgrace, my stain, my sin. I felt myself being pinned but I couldn't see.
His face was the only thing I could see.
Her words were the only ones I could hear.
And her eyes were the only ones I could feel. They were all here, I needed to escape.
Bens' words came back to me like a punch.
Pierces replies hit me even harder.
The cat that promised to protect me was protecting him instead. My emotions ran, betrayal, hatred, love, regret, remorse.
I couldn't put my finger on just one but I felt myself overpower.
My Alpha was on this land. If he knew what had happened would Beta be punished? Hadn't he always saved me from the Beta before?
Hope.
For a split second, I felt hope blossom inside me.
I wasn't meant for this life with Pierce. It was clear. I was hindering him. He had his own pack to be loyal to. He didn't owe me anything and least of all, he didn't owe me his protection.
I should have found my Alpha the moment Ka—
It was like glass shattering.
My thoughts had been a whirlwind and suddenly it all stopped.
Realization.
I looked around, somehow I was outside the small cabin. Ben stood tall in his wolf form, Pierce opposite of him, both bleeding and out of breath. It was dread that started to course through me.
I couldn't go to my Alpha.
I was branded, shamed, a disgrace to Weres. My Alpha would mock me, he would kill me before looking at me. Kain had ensured my future and I had merely forgotten. I was pack to no one because of my failure as an Omega. I wore my stain.
I felt the eyes, the eyes gleaming with glee. Her laughter coming out in waves. The Moon was rolling. Failure.
Her mistake was causing her endless amounts of entertainment. Her train wreck that continues to fail, bringing her amusement.
A whine, I wasn't sure who it came from but I had a feeling it was me. My trembling body shook hard. I felt the movements of both Ben and Pierce trying to close in on me but I growled. I didn't want them near me, I didn't want to dirty Ben, didn't want to disappoint Pierce anymore. I didn't want to hear about what my Cat was doing behind my back, I wanted to stay naive to his secrets. I didn't want to feel betrayed when I betrayed him first.
A mournful howl seized me and I couldn't help but allow the song to play. My wolf controlled its sound. I felt my regret for my wolf.
He had wanted the speck of life. His instinct called for him to protect the forming pup. I had taken away his purpose. I had stolen something that he wanted to find joy in.
He didn't understand the life we led. He didn't get my reasonings. His birth was new, so he was ignorant of the pain this world brings, but now, maybe he would understand.
Understand that Pierce wasn't the savior we had hoped for. That Kain was the one who controlled how the world saw us. That we weren't meant for love.
I faintly heard the cracking of bones.
"Toby come back to me." His words sounded like a caress, but they hurt.
"I'll explain."
He didn't have to explain. I didn't need to know. I wasn't his mate, I would never be his mate. It wasn't my place to question—
Is that what I had been hoping for? My eyes drifted, my head turning so that I could see him. The skip of my heart at teeth marks etched into his cheek stung.
I wanted to lick his wound, apologize, I wanted to show him how much I cared, how sorry I was. But instead, I stepped away from him.
I wanted to run into his arms, pretend that his secrets didn't matter, pretend that I wasn't a chess piece to a game I couldn't even begin to comprehend. I wanted to allow my heart to embrace the love I felt for this Cat.
But it wasn't right. I was already branded. Nothing good would come from our pairing. I was merely a hindrance to his life.
"Listen to me Toby, it's not safe outside." Frantically I shook my head, denying him.
"Please, I'll call Boman, he needs to look you over, you're bleeding." It was desperation in his voice that had me taking a step back. I didn't want him to act as if he cared.
"You left me first."
I did, I left him first. Barely looked back as I had given myself to the Beta. Yet I had had no intention of coming away from the encounter alive.
My life was a reoccurring mistake of failures and problematic situations.
"Mutt, if you run I swear I'll chain you to the basement." His threat was strained but my body moved back once more.
Ben was inching his way behind me, I knew they were going to try and trap me, but I had noticed the limp. Somehow, Ben had gotten hurt and by the smells, I knew it was from me.
The leg would hinder him, Pierce wasn't shifted yet, I could get away.
"Toby, please." I wanted to listen, but my wolf wasn't even listening to him. I took that as my sign to leave. For once, listening to my wolf truly felt like the right thing to do.
I felt my muscles tighten but just as I was about to sprint, I caught his scent.
Kain.
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AN: If you follow me you'll know I switched the update days to Saturday. I'm just so busy during the week, so I need my Fridays to finish the chapter. I'm working it all out. Bare with me. ALSO ALSO ALSO! I adopted two puppies. I pick them up Thursday, so life is gonna get even more hectic. Wish me and my writing good luck, haha.
anyways, hope the chapter was to everyone's liking and I'll see yall next week! There is a high possibility the Pierces POV will get posted before the next chapter. This chapter set up the release of Absolute Loyalty. I'm just unsure if I want to wait for another chapter before posting it. Might be too many spoilers still.
With that! Thank you, everyone, for the support! Likes and comments help drive me to be a better human. ❤️ also... y'all.. puppies.