Runningwind: Hello, StarClan! We are here tonight on Things That Happened in Your Life. I am your host, Runningwind, and tonight, our contestant is the one and only Jayfeather!
(Crowd cheers)
Runningwind: Jayfeather, do you know what the prize is if you win?
Jayfeather: Um...500,000 mice?
Runningwind: Yay! You watched our show last time!
Jayfeather: Umm, not exactly...
Runningwind(frowning):You didn't watch our show?
Jayfeather: No...
Runningwind: Then how did you know the answer? Did Mosskit tell you before the show? I knew that kit couldn't keep a secret!(Runningwind glares at Mosskit. Mosskit starts crying and Bluestar glares at Runningwind)
Jayfeather: I simply read your mind!
Runningwind: Oh...
Jayfeather: Well, hurry up! You're wasting my time! Are you going to tell me the first question or not?
Runningwind: The first question is basically an example question. It's a yes or no question and...
Jayfeather: All I hear is blah-blah-blah! Ask me the question already!
Runningwind: Ok then! You really are impatient...
Jayfeather: JUST ASK ME THE STUPID QUESTION!!!
Runningwind: The question is: Is your fur pink?
Jayfeather: How would I know? I'm blind!!!
Runningwind: Umm, how about deductive reasoning?
Jayfeather: Fine! My answer is NO!!!
Runningwind: Correct! Answer five more questions correctly and...
Jayfeather: Just get on with it! I'm getting so bored that I almost just fell asleep!
Runningwind: Ok, ok, just calm down already. Who stepped on your tail this morning?
Jayfeather: Is that the second question?
Runningwind: Umm, n....
Jayfeather: Mothwing did!
Runningwind: That wasn't the second question.
Jayfeather: Well, hurry up and tell me what it is then!!!
Runningwind: Who was Crowfeather's WindClan son?
Jayfeather: The one and only, arrogant traitor, Breezepelt!
Runningwind: Question three: Which ThunderClan cat was killed by a snake after saving a kit's life and...
Jayfeather: Honeyfern.
Runningwind: Ok, now who was Honeyfern's mother?
Jayfeather: Sorreltail.
Runningwind: Question number five: Which two cats ate water hemlock?
Jayfeather: Cherrypaw and Mousewhisker.
Runningwind: Final question. If you get this question correct, you win...
Audience: 500,000 mice!
Runningwind: Who was Berrynose's father?
Jayfeather: Smoky?
Runningwind: Correct! You have won 500,000 mice!
Jayfeather: So I can leave now?
Runningwind: No-no-no! There's one final question, should you choose to answer it. It's the BONUS QUESTION!!!
Audience: Ooh!!!
Runningwind: If you get this question correct, not only will you win 500,000 mice, but you'll also win 100,000 thrushes, 50,000 voles, and 35,000 rabbits! And that's not all...you also win A BRAND NEW MONSTER!!!
(A big black monster is driven onto the stage by Birchfall.)
Jayfeather: Oh yeah! That monster is SO mine!
Runningwind: But, if you answer incorrectly you go home with nothing but embarrassment!
Audience: Awwwww....
Jayfeather: I don't care! I got to try and win that AWESOME monster!
Runningwind: And one other thing. The question we're asking you about is not about something that happened during your lifetime.
Jayfeather: I don't care!!!!! Ask me the question already!
Runningwind: Ok then. Which two cats came to ThunderClan for help in the old forest after sickness swept through ShadowClan, turned down by Bluestar, and then later taken care of by Cinderpelt?
Jayfeather: Littlecloud and, um...(hesitates for a few long moments)Whitethroat.
Runningwind: Correct!!!! You have won...
Jayfeather: A lot of lame prey AND A BRAND NEW AWESOME MONSTER!!!
(The prey is loaded into the monster. Jayfeather leaps into the monster and prepares to drive off)
Birchfall: Wait! Do you have a driver's license?
Jayfeather: Er, no. What's a driver's license?
Birchfall: Then you can't drive....besides, you're blind!
Jayfeather: I don't care! I'm leaving!
Runningwind: How did you know the answer to the bonus question?
Jayfeather: I read your mind!
Runningwind: Hey, that's cheating! Give me back my monster!!!
Jayfeather: BYE!!!
(The monster drives off across the stage. The monster swerves wildly and nearly drives right off the stage.)
Birchfall: Call the police! A blind driver with no driver's license...and he's under 16 too!
Bramblestar: Last time I checked, there are NO police in StarClan!
Lionblaze: I'll tell the border patrols to watch out though....
(Birchfall is chasing after the monster.)
Birchfall: Come back!
Runningwind(shouting): Jayfeather, how can you see where you're going?
Jayfeather(from the distance inside the monster): I can't!
(The monster drives out of view)
Runningwind: Ok then...while Birchfall sends the border patrols to catch Jayfeather, I suppose that's the end of another episode of Things That Happened in Your Life! Good-bye and may the prey be plentiful!