The clock was slowly ticking towards 11 am as I laid in my bed staring out the window, watching the rain dance against the glass. It's the first day in awhile I felt at ease and the rain added to that. I've loved the rain ever since I moved in with Aunt Toya. It brought me a certain amount of comfort like every bad thing, thought or action was being washed away and once the rain stopped everything would be better... it was never the case.
It would rain and I would still be alone.
It would rain and I would still be the reason Reggie is dead.
It would rain and Aniyah would still be gone.
It would still be the same now, it's going to rain and everything is going to be the same. The only difference is now I have Dash.
My sunshine piercing through the sky as it rained down on me.
He hated anytime I called him that, he thought it was corny but I noticed anytime I said it he'd smile. It was genuine and heart warming to see.
I did not get one text message, phone call or have someone bust in to my room and bother me since I've woken up and it was nice. I spent a bit of time with Dash before he peeled off to bring Quinn to her doctors appointment.
Carmelo's funeral was later in the day and although I protested to going dad said it was best we all showed up and paid our respects it looked less suspicious but until then I decided to enjoy the silence and pitter patter of the rain while it lasted.
"Roll over !" I smiled at King as he perched his butt into the air and fell on to his side and stood back up wagging his tail.
"You know what ?" I smiled grabbed a treat out of the bag. "Close enough, here you go."
I held out the treat to him and he Quincey devoured it and excitedly waited for more.
"Knock knock!"
My door sprung open causing King and I both to jump back startled.
"The fuck you jumping for?" KJ questioned as he walked in to the room and plopped down on to the bed. "What y'all in here doing?"
King ran over to KJ and instantly began growling and barking at him.
"Nigga what I tell you?" KJ grabbed King's head with both hands and pulled him in close as he spoke again."i said save that shit for intruders"
Despite my constant request not to KJ has been trying to teach King how to be a guard dog or more of an attack dog. Whenever anyone even says the word, attack, which surprisingly comes up often in this house King begins to bark and growl.
"Anyways... I got an idea I want to run past you." KJ let go of Kings head and he was finally calmed down, pounding around like the happy dog he is.
"You ain't wanna run it past dad?"
"Nah... this some shit I'm tryna do without a handout.. really earn my name as King." He stretches himself out on the bed a bit, his arms stretched over his head.
"Actually... why don't you sit on the couch?" I asked, realizing after all the fun I've been having the bed was probably the last place he wanted to be laid up on.
"Why....?" He looked back at me until a look of recognition spread across his face. "What the fuck!" He sprung to his feet in no time. "You couldn't of said that shit before I laid there?"
"I just sort of thought you knew and didn't care.." I pursed my lips trying to hold back a laugh.
"That shit is disgusting... You don't wash ya fucking sheets?"
"I didn't really have time... he kind of left like -"
"Shut that the fuck up... is the couch safe?" He interrupted me as his body hovered over the couch looking at me for confirmation.
"You uh- better just stand.." I laughed watching his face fall again. If this was his reaction in my room, imagine how he'd react if he knew the first time we had sex was in his room.
It was disrespectful but almost felt like a small, fuck you, for the things he made me deal with over the years.
"Anyway... you know that big ass warehouse Carmelo was keeping Sean?"
"Do I remember the place where I was almost forced to kill someone not more than two days ago ? Mhmm yes I do." I rested my head on the palm of my hand with a tilted head.
"Keep ya sarcasm... it got me thinking.. what if I bought out a warehouse of some building and turn it into some type of club."
"Is the drug business not paying off?" I questioned.
"Nah nigga it's very lucrative."
"Oh ? Lucrative... look at you knowing words."
"Can you be serious for a minute? The music producer that Dash and I went to see?"
I had another sarcastic remark up my sleeve.
The place where I beat Kiara with a wire?
The place you beat up my boyfriend ?
Forced him to leave me?
"Yes I do.."
KJ's face seemed relieved that I didn't bring up anything that happened from that day.
"well... even though all that shit went down.. he still reached out and said we need more exposure before he could move on with us."
"Start a soundcloud?"
"Can you not be an asshole for 5 minutes?"
"That would be my record time." I smiled but nodded.
"Brianna is really rubbing off on you... anyways, I thought we get this club rockin' and Dash and I could perform and get people feeling our shit and the dude will help us out."
I muddled around in my head for a moment, thinking. It seemed like a recipe for disaster since him and I seem to be the main ingredients for it but the look of hope on his face was something I couldn't bring myself to want to crush.
"How do I come in to play here?"
"You're good with designing shit.. bossing people around from what I've been told so I want you to be my right hand ma/ woman."
I couldn't help but smile and although he could just be saying sweet things for me to help, he's got me caught.
"Fine.. we don't rush into anything this has to be well thought out and planned."
"Of course whatev-" KJ was Interrupted by the ringing of his phone.
"Yo,..." he answered. "Ah- I got it in the car... about 550 but you can run it for more..I ain't ask what you could do I'm telling you what you're going to do..... I'll be there in a few."
He hung the phone up and shoved it back in to his pocket. "You want to head out with me?"
"We haven't spent time together since.. forever." I thought about it and it has been awhile since KJ and I really had any time to just us. When we were younger we did fight a lot but we were inseparable, best friends. Until he hit high school and all his features began to expand than I was just became his little sister.
"Meet me outside in 5, I gotta grab my charger and shit." He didn't give me any time to protest as he opened the door back and left out the room.
KJ, King and I were all settled in to his truck and the rain had began to pick up since we got in to the car.
"You notice that every time someone dies or a funeral is happening it always rains?" I questioned but didn't receive an answer.
"KJ?"
Once I looked over at him to see what was preoccupying his mind and he was staring down at his phone.
"What ya looking at?"
I leaned over the middle console to get a peak at his phone and he was staring at Ebony's twitter feed.
I quickly scanned over the tweets and noticed that KJ had unfollowed Ebony. This means he's been checking her account and most likely doing it frequently to see what she's been posting.
He quickly locked his phone back and placed it in the cup holder.
"You know nothing is wrong with missing her it-"
"I know ain't shit wrong with it! I told her I missed her! I went to the babies appointment and even offered her money, what the fuck else does she want ? I know she don't want that nigga... she can't ... she still got love for me." KJ cut me off and as he spoke he gripped the steering wheel tightly.
"I don't think that's enough... you cheated on her and you didn't even have the decency to do it behind her back, you didn't want her to keep the baby and now you wanna do good?"
KJ tolled his eyes, starting the car and it roared to life. "What else can a nigga do?"
"Show her you care dumbass.. the appointment was a good start but you got to show her you changed." I cleared my throat a bit before continuing. "You're letting another man take your place in her heart."
"Should I get him killed?"
"Jesus! KJ, No! No! No!" I repeated it a couple of times because he was like a kid, it never sunk in the first time. "Plus if he mysteriously ends up dead she'll know it was you...just treat her like Dash treats me."
KJ chuckles letting a grin rest on his face once he was done. "Yeah because Dash is a great guy" his voice had a obvious hint of sarcasm.
"What is that suppose to mean? Does he cheat on me?"
"No!" He was quick to reply.
I gripped the steering wheel as he drove, "KJ Daniel Sumner you better not be fucking lying to me."
"What are you going to do make us crash? With King in the car?"
He was right, I wasn't going to do anything irrational with my baby in the back seat but he didn't need to know that.
"Look , he is completely bitch whipped."
I lowered my hands off the steering wheel, "isn't it pussy whipped?"
"I didn't want to say that." He shuddered a bit.
"So... you were cool calling me a bitch then?"
"Can I tell you something ? On some sibling to sibling shit?" He was obviously trying to change the subject.
"Wassup?"
"I love her man... I just don't know if I can put my shit aside and make things right." I could hear the hurt in his voice but he turned the radio on before I could reply.
NLE Choppa's, 'Capo' began to blar through the stereo and I always kind of thought my brother favored him a bit even though KJ was darker in skin tone.
"Remember I was young and I used to be a hoopa, I got into guns then I turned to the shoota, Knock off yo head, call that a fuckin' train wreck." KJ rapped along with the lyrics as he drove.
I don't know where we were going but it took us a good 20 minutes to get there. The ride was spent with the two of us rapping along to popular rap songs and goofing around with each other. It has really been a long time since I felt this energy between the two of us.
It wasn't harsh
It was playful
And I enjoyed being around him.
We stopped in front of a run down apartment building and a lanky black man crawled in to the backseat.
King began growling and pouncing on and off the mans lap, the look in his face he seems to be scared.
"Gary this my sister." KJ introduced me once the man closed the door behind himself.
"The kingpins sister... nice to meet you." He shoved his hand between the driver and passenger seat to shake my hand.
"Kimani is my name." I used my arm to nudge his hand away that smelled like Doritos and sweat.
"My bad... Uh- this is yours." He placed a stack on cash on the middle console.
KJ picked it up and after counting it quickly, he handed the man back a portion of the money and handed the large sum to me.
"Look King- I don't think I can make what you trying to get me to do.. it's hard enough to push the shit I got."
"I ain't really come here to hear no sob story, unless you want to get attacked."
King heard, 'Attack' and began growling and barking in the mans face, King was small but his bark had bite behind it.
"Keep my baby out of your shit!" I snarled as I reached back and grabbed King and placed him between my feet on the floor.
"Do you really have to fuck up my whole thing?" KJ questioned.
"Do you have to involve my baby in your drug antics?"
"Look nigga.. just grab the damn bag and be on ya way."
The man did as KJ instructed and took advantage of his quick moment to get away from my angered brother.
The rest of the day KJ and I spent together and even though we argued here and there it was still an enjoyable day until the time came to go to Carmelo's funeral.
There was a large group of people standing around Carmelo's grave site in the cemetery. Most were wearing black outfits and others were wearing shirts with Carmelo's face on it. His family and friends were crying and mourning his loss than there was us.
My dad, mom, Aunt Toya, KJ, Brianna, Dash, Ebony and I who only showed up for face weren't shedding tears, we were just there so we didn't look suspicious.
None of us were crying and after time passed I'm pretty sure I saw Ebony check her phone for the time.
"This will be the resting place for a wonderful, kind-spirited man who did nothing but help and see the better in people." The funeral director bowed his head as he finished reading the script I'm sure someone had written for him.
This is why I disliked funerals. Carmelo wasn't any of those things and it always made me think of how many funerals have went by where the person who was being buried was characterized as something they weren't. I wonder what was said at Reggie's funeral, they probably wasn't the truth but I think they do that for the people who are still living, allow them to see the person they lost as something good even if it's the complete opposite.
My thoughts trailed off as I began to focus on my surrounds again and I looked up at KJ who looked as if he was going to cry.
Carmelo and him were close
I took KJ's hand in mine and rested my head on his arm. He squeezed my hand tightly.
Today wasn't anything special but as I stood here next to my brother who I felt estranged from since I got back, I finally felt close to him.
"Psst... Kimani?" Brianna leaned over to whisper in my ear.
"What?"
"You think they're going to have food after this or?"
A/N; I'm sorry if this chapter wasn't so exciting and BOOM! Lol but I thought a nice sibling chapter would be nice and I'll try to update more school is just getting in the way. If I finish my homework early enough before Sunday I'll try to update again!
Imma delete this by tomorrow afternoon or so but here's everyone's Twitter acct