It was finally Friday and my meeting with Reese went well. I felt so giddy and giggly marching up the stairs to my apartment to tell C.J. we were still in the clear. We didn't have to be afraid of losing each other or our work because Neil hadn't said a word. Or Reese really didn't care about us screwing? I hoped it was true either way. Because I didn't want to think about that picture again. Neil could show it to anyone. But whatever! For now, the world stepped off my shoulders. I felt ten times lighter like I had finally confessed the biggest secret of my life.
I took a deep breath before turning the doorknob and walked in with the world's biggest smile, only to stop.
"Cam, we are...." I stopped mid-sentence, my tongue caught in my teeth. My smile faded immediately at the sight of him sitting there. His hands folded in his lap, refusing to make eye contact. Something was off.
He didn't look at me. His ass stayed planted on the couch, his belongings packed around him. His laptop in its leather sleeve, like he had somewhere to be.
"I have to leave here." He said in a monotone voice. His eyes stuck forward, not giving me the courtesy of eye contact. He couldn't bring himself to do it. What was he hiding from me?
"I—uh—Reese didn't fire me?" I questioned, shutting the apartment door finally.
"I have business to take care of," he said, standing up. Gathering his things into his arms still avoiding my eyes like the plague.
I swallowed the burning lump in my throat. Trying to stop the emotions threatening to spill from the brim of my eyes. Watching him leave ripped my heart to shreds and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. I couldn't get on my knees and beg him to stay. He didn't live here, and he wasn't my boyfriend. He wasn't my anything, but a fuck buddy. But—I thought we cared for one another! Last night was great. He made love to me. Made sure I was ok. He kissed my toes for God's sake!
"When—will you be back?" If ever? My lip quivered, and I sunk my teeth into it, trying to reel myself back in. I didn't want him to see me like this. If he didn't care, then I didn't care!
He refused to look at me as he walked past towards the door. "A week? Maybe two? I just—I have to leave." He said gruffly, pushing past me like I was piece trash on the side of the road. He couldn't wait to leave me. And here I was bottling up all these feelings for him, basically in love with him and he had no idea.
"Fine. Whatever," I rounded my shoulders, as he walked out the door and slammed it without a second glance. I leaned against it, my broken heart hoping he'd come back through telling me he punk'd me or yell April fools! Despite it being October. The only sounds heard through the door were his shoes furiously stomping into the stairs and a door slamming shut.
Areeggghhhh!!! Fuck him. Fuck everything. Fuck it all to hell!! How did I go wrong?! Did I seem too needy? Was I too clingy? Was I too me? Fuuuckkkk! He couldn't give me the decency of an explanation of why he had to leave! Ugh.
I wanted to punch something. Maybe Amanda, she deserved it? Drink something. Jose was calling my name! I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry, but I have done that too much lately. I needed something better. Something to take away the stabbing pain in my shattered heart.
Go out?
Yeah—I needed to go out and sort these feelings out. You know, the proper more mature way to get over him. Because every healthy-minded person went straight to alcohol for comfort or maybe it was just me. Too bad I was down a drinking buddy, but at least I still had Yvette. My dearest friend, Yvette. She was in for a wild and crazy surprise tonight.
Me: Are you up for some drinks tonight?
Yvette: How are you feeling and yes, babe. Let me tell Aaron and ill meet you wherever.
I sighed, do I tell her the truth? I'm in love with C.J. and it has only been two months? That I am absolutely not ok in the least. With anything that had been happening in my life?
Me: not ok, I can explain. I just need a good distraction.
Yvette: Your distraction awaits at that fancy cocktail bar downtown. Meet at 7?
Me: Perfect. Xo
I had an hour to pull myself together. I couldn't let these tears spill over something so stupid! I swore I'd never let myself get into this kind of situation again. Or love again. Whhhyyy did I have to love him? Why couldn't I just, ya know, not get attached?!?! How was I so easily duped into loving people? After falling victim to Neil's sham of what he called love, I wanted to be cautious with my heart. Here I was willingly serving my heart to Cam on a silver platter. The very silver platter he knocked to the ground and stomped on.
I never wanted to depend on someone ever again. Especially someone who could so easily detach themselves from me. And walk out without an explanation. What was so important he couldn't just tell me? I thought him and I was past this whole cat got your tongue Cam. But I guess not. Maybe he and I weren't as close as I thought.
Sucker.
The next thing I imagined happening was Amanda waltzing through my apartment door. On her pathetic hands and knees begging for forgiveness. Fuck my life, I needed out! I needed someone else! I needed another dick to forget about Cam. Yeah, that's always a good solution. Get a dick to forget about Neil, end up with Cam, and end up with a double shot of a broken heart.
Curse you cupid, you cunt.
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"I think I'm in love with him and not just for his dick." I took another shot. This may have been number---3 or 4? Tequila was always good to me in a pinch.
"Jesus, Mercy, how long have you two been doing the dirty deed?" Yvette asked, slowly sipping her Cosmo, watching me self-destruct.
I snorted, tapping the bar again. Fuck having my wits, I needed to get drunk, forget my feelings and move onto someone else. "From the beginning. That night, you two sent me out by my lonesome? Yeah—we hooked up behind the bar." I raised an eyebrow at her as her face fell. Her Cosmo almost came out of her nose.
"Seriously!? What happened to giving every dirty little detail?" She gaped, furrowing her brows.
I snorted again. "I was protecting him, for whatever reason. But no more!" I raised my refilled shot glass in the air. "Fuck him!" I said throwing the burning shot down my throat. Enjoying the painful burn settling in my stomach. Making its way through my bloodstream and straight to my brain, successfully drinking my pain away.
"You will not walk out of here if you keep that up," Yvette's hand rested on my arm and I shrugged.
"For tonight, I don't really care." I spat, her head shook in disappointment.
"What happened?" She asked with concern, as I signaled for yet another shot of Jose Cuervo. How many Jose's does it take to numb the pain?
"What hasn't happened? Amanda's a two-timing skank, Neil's a slimy toad, and C.J. fucking Cole iced me out again. Again! You know, I was finally getting somewhere with him. I finally felt like I was getting to know him and.. and... he just left. Poof! Disappeared faster than... than....than......."
Faster than my panties around him.
"Ugh!" I rubbed my hand on my forehead in frustration. Why did I feel like this, over him? He was just work. Work and fucking and now? Now I was in love with the idiot.
Not to mention my idiot brother is a murderer of some sort about to go on trial and I hadn't told a soul about it. So add that to my ever-growing list of shit gone wrong in Mercy's life.
"Well—fuck Amanda and if it makes you feel any better, all she does is sulk around the office now. Bitch had the nerve to talk to me." Yvette said, rolling her eyes. Poor Vette had to work beside Amanda and Neil every day.
"Thanks for being here, Yvette. I honestly—— I couldn't do this without you." A crooked smile crossed my lips as we clink our glasses together.
"Oh, Mercy, you're in too deep with him, aren't you?" She smirked, knowing me oh too well.
"Yesssss and that's why I'm here. I need new dick to forget about himmmmm!!" I whined, going in for another drink, hoping she'd help me find a new guy to suck my feelings away.
And boy, did she deliver.
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Mmmmmm. This guy sucked!! And—ya know, not in a good way. A very, very, very, bad way. His tongue felt so gross on my neck. And he didn't know how to nibble or suck either. God, I missed C.J. It felt like he was trying to lick ice cream off my neck. All he was succeeding in was leaving large amounts of saliva behind. Soaking my neck with his gross, gross, spit. He pushed his body into mine, his hands groping me as he had never felt a tit before. Well—maybe he hadn't? He grabbed them so hard, squeezing them like balloons trying to pop the air out of them. They're boobs, man! They're attached! Ouch! I needed dick to forget about C.J. but this guy would not do. God No. Whenever he found my mouth with his, it tasted like he had drunk sour milk.
Cam officially ruined other men for me. It sounded like a shitty title to a shitty book. One I could write! With subjects like, how am I supposed to act like I don't love him by fucking other people when other people suck! More titles to come....
"Ughh, get off," I groaned putting my hands onto his chest, trying to push him away, but he stayed there like a heavy boulder. Relentless little bastard. His hand drifting over my jeans trying to get into them. No way, pal.
"I'm serious," I groaned again, successfully pushing him away. He looked at me, breathless, panting while wiping his mouth.
"You wanna get out of here?" He slurred. Not a chance in hell.
"If you learned to use your tongue properly, then maybe." He raised his brow at me and took a step forward. Like I was challenging him or something.
"Give me a second chance?" He jutted his lip, and I rolled my eyes, feeling my senses coming back to me. He placed his hands on my cheeks.
"I—" but he pushed his mouth into mine, jamming his tongue into my mouth. Spoiled milk! You'd think the beer he chugged would have washed the taste away, but yet here we were. God, he was awful. Brush your teeth!! I put my hands on his chest again to push him off again but he didn't budge. He pressed harder, and I realized I had gotten myself into a potentially screwed up situation. I mean—we are secluded, but still IN the bar at least.
Oh, come on, buddy! I thought, trying to push again, this time succeeding. But I didn't just succeed; he fell on his ass staring up at a more intimidating figure than me. Oh no, there he was. All 6'4" of him staring daggers into Mr. I-need-to-learn-how-to-kiss. His arms crossed over his chest and he whipped his gaze to me. His eyes burned with an intensity I hadn't seen before. An inferno of anger I could roast a marshmallow over to make a s'more. And wouldn't you know---the slightest hint of the green-eyed monster reared his ugly head. Ready to explode on me.
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sooooooo originally this chapter was 6,000 words. I decided to break it up for easy reading. So I'll post the next part....Tomorrow! So look for a wonderful Saturday update.
and then you can hate me. LOL 💕💕