(Bucky Barnes POV, Two years ago, Hydra base)
It was time, I knew it, "I'll be with you till the end of the line" the words where too familiar, I needed to know who he was, who I was.
The only thing was I didn't want to leave y/n, she wouldn't exactly take the news lightly and she's the closest thing I have to family, it would be betrayal. I could just not tell her? No, that would make this whole situation worse, if anything I'll come back for her, get her out of this hell hole.
I walked to the training room and entered to see y/n already training, I walked over too her and we began training together.
After a long moment of silence I decide I need to tell her, I need to tell her I'm leaving, for good, call me stupid, but she needs to know. God I hope she doesn't get too angry, all hell breaks loose when she does.
"Y/n I need to tell you something" I say quietly not wanting anyone else to hear, "okay" she says almost cautiously as I take a breath not really wanting to see her reaction.
"I'm leaving.. for good.. I have to find out who I was.. who he was.." I whisper as she stops fighting me looking me straight in the eyes, giving me the look she gives to people before she quite literally kills them.
"No" she says, I could tell she was trying to contain her anger, even she knew what her anger could do. "Your going to leave me for the world out there?!!" She screams her face practically glowing red, "be quiet, they'll hear us!" I slightly yell, which somehow made her more mad.
"I WILL NOT BE QUIET!!" She yells even louder, "HOW DARE YOU!" She yells again inching herself closer to me her eyes glowing a shimmer of rage. The anger was getting too her, faster than she could control, oh god this was a bad idea.
"YOU KNOW WHAT, IM GOING TO DO IT!!" She yells making me slightly confused, "IM GOING TO DO THE ONE THING I PROMISED NOT TOO DO, ITS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!!" She yells even louder, I don't even bother responding too her at this point.
She takes another few steps toward me, a simple yet affective thing she does to intimidate people.
I try to think of the one thing she promised not too do, honestly hydra had messed up my brain that much that it physically hurt to attempt to remember things... but it came too me.. I knew what she was going to do.. how dare she.
"Don't" I say my voice cold and bitter. "I'm doing this so you don't leave!" She practically spits out my own anger rising.
"Longing...rusted" She says slowly as I feel my mind physically twitch, "stop" I say again more bitterness in my voice. My trigger words, she was using them against me, the one thing she promised not to do.
"Seventeen..daybreak" She begins to say as I fall too the ground from my efforts to control the ringing in my mind, my mind quite literally loosing all its memories. "STOP!" I yell looking up at her with complete hatred as screams exit my lips. I don't want this.. no no I don't.
"Furnace..nine..benign" She says as my body freezes my mind slowly going blank. "Homecoming...one" She continuous as my mind is almost blank, small memories flickering. "Freight car" she finishes giving me a devilish look as my mind goes blank nothing but evil filling it.
"Ready to comply" I reply standing up as she smirks, "kill" she says, "kill the innocent, kill them all" she says her eyes angry and fierce. "This is what you get" she whispers in my ear, as I walk off ready to kill.
"Bucky?" Steve asks as I realised I had drifted off, remembering exactly what had happened. "Buck listen, you don't have to tell us what she did too betray you, but do you trust her?" He asks as I look up to the screen showing her strapped to the metal chair.
she'd stopped screaming, thankfully, the anger had gotten out of her system. Did I trust her? God I don't even know, it was two years ago, doesn't mean she changed.
"When she's not angry..yes" I say before standing up and leaving to go to my room, I didn't want to talk about her anymore, the memories mentally and physically hurt, I didn't want that.
(Your POV, Avengers facility)
You had calmed down since everyone had left, you guessed you where still mad at him, even though what did You expect? You never wanted him to leave Hydra, he was the only thing you had beside Wanda and Pietro who had already left you, guess you didn't want that again.
Somehow in your messed up brain You decided that it was a great idea to release the trigger words on him, Hydra had taught you them through the years, trying to force you to use them on him multiple times but you never would, that didn't end very well for you..
when your angry you loose control, I guess when it's the only emotion you're exposed too you get a little too used to using it so it gets out of hand.
But what did you really expect? Oh yeah by releasing the trigger words on him he is totally going to come back to you and rescue you from hydra, bullshit.
The door too your way too fancy cell suddenly opened and in came the red metal man and a slightly frightened looking boy probably around your age trailing behind him. "Stay there kid" he said pointing too the boy as a few other people walked in, you assumed they where some of the other Avengers.
"Alright" says the man as he kneels down in front of you studying you with his eyes. "If you're wondering I have no intention of escaping" you say giving him a bored stare as he gives you a confused look. "Well that's not exactly what a imagined a mass murderer to say" he says making you roll your eyes.
You look over too the boy who was standing just behind metal man, he looked way too innocent and he seemed to almost flinch when you looked over at him.
"what's your name?" You asks, "p-peter" the slightly cute boy behind metal man answers, "why are you so nervous?" You ask again slightly annoyed at this point from how nervous people where around you, "I'm assuming you've seen the footage of me?" You say raising your eyebrows, "y-yeah" his shaky voice reply's, "hm, Pete I'm not going to kill you k? I've changed" you say tapping your foot on the ground, "o-oh" He reply's still seeming nervous.
You felt bad quite honestly, the boy was practically looking at pure evil, god, heaven in his eyes, hell behind yours.
"Excuse me, your talking to me not him, he's an observer, in fact he shouldn't even be here" metal man says as he crosses his arms impatiently, "you're a little too overprotective of him don't cha think?" You say with attitude as metal man rolls his eyes.
"So metal man, what do you want to talk to me about?" You question as he gives you the "I'm about to throw a tantrum because of this girl" look.
"First of all its not metal man, it's Tony" he answer, "sorry Tony" you say with a bit too much sass than you intended.
"Let's lay this out shall we since your not talking..I'm not going to kill you, I have no intention of doing so, I don't appreciate Hydra, it wasn't exactly my choice to be brought up by them. My goal was too escape so thank you very much for helping me achieve that goal and for your information, don't get me angry I go mental" you say and if you could cross your arms you could, but they where currently tied to a chair.
"She reminds me of you Tony, she has attitude, I like her" A pretty looking woman dressed in a black suit with red shoulder length hair says. "Your not what I expected" Metal ma-Tony says as you smirk, "never am" you say. "Now since I have told you I won't kill you, kindly get me out of this chair" you say realising how uncomfortable it was.
"I honestly thought you where going to be all depressed" Tony said, you seem to amuse him. "Listen" you sigh, "I'm not proud of what I do, but it's all I know, the idea of killing was placed into my head a long time ago, I never knew if it was good or bad, Hydra tortured me, because apparently I have hidden powers which I don't believe anyway for all I know you guys could be the bad ones and Hydra could be good, I know nothing, but for as long as I can remember I've been forced to do things, I never get a say on what a want, so as long as you don't torture me and force me to do things, I won't go all mental, deal?" You question as you look up at the red hair woman, who looks at you with understanding like she knew what you where going through, you liked her.
"We won't hurt you y/n" says a young man dressed in a blue suit with one large star placed on his chest. "Bucky trusts you" he says, Buckys name making you flinch, "we want to help you, but we need you to tell us everything you know about hydra, we want to try and get you back to phase 1" he says giving you a comforting smile. why do these people trust me? I tried to kill them?
Phase 1, the only thing you where scared off, you where scared of what could lie deep inside your mind, Your mind had a barrier around the things hydra didn't want you to remember, take that barrier down and who knows what type of person You truly are.
"Phase 1?" You question, not making eye contact with anyone. "We all have our demons" The red hair woman says as you sigh. "Not ones like mine" you say as Tony begins to unbuckle you from the chair, freeing your wrists and ankles.
"There's a room free in the facility, it's yours to keep now, if you wanna paint it or hang anything up just ask" Says arrow man as he steps forward.
"Why do you trust me? Because something tells me you don't like Bucky too much" you question arrow man as he looks down to the ground leading you too your room.
"Because I know your not who you think you are, I know the real you is in there somewhere....a long while ago I was sent to kill someone just like I was today, turns out she was just like you she was raised in an evil place forcing her to be something she wasn't, she's changed now and she's one of the strongest people I know" he says his eyes flickering with memories, "you guys might trust me, but I don't" You say as he gives you a smile, "you'll get there" he says.
Lies
Okay here's the real question though, how can I write a 2000 word story part but not have the energy to write a 500 word essay? I don't understand.
Also this was a super long part, I know.