JUMP. JUMP. JUMP.
The voice was louder, echoing through the cave as it begged me to plunge myself into the darkness. My body ached for it, as did my mind. The darkness was silent. I could feel my brain and my senses being quieted the nearer I got. All I wanted was peace. The darkness could give it to me.
The man could give it to me.
He stood across from me again, his smile was unwavering. The expression wasn't altogether welcoming, but it wasn't frightening either. There was something familiar in it.
"Eloise," his voice carried through the cave, "you can do it."
I took another step forward at the sound of his voice. I suspected something about him, but I hardly knew what it was. He felt familiar like he was a friend I knew a long time ago.
He took a step toward me so he was on the edge of the pit now too. His hand reached out toward me and I lifted my arm-
And was yanked backward away from the pit into the cold, chaotic embrace of something else. Something real.
"Lou," a deep voice murmured, "sunshine, wake up."
I blinked away the sleep in my eyes to look up at the handsome face of Tucker Joy. He had a tired smile on his lips when he relaxed into the hospital couch we were sharing. He held out a cup of coffee and I took it gratefully.
My dream had rattled me and I expect that Tucker had something to do with pulling me back from it. Every time I had the same dream, I was closer to the darkness each time. What would happen when I finally descended into it?
The boy with the brown eyes focused his attention intently on me. His brother was laying in a hospital bed unconscious with his other little brothers running around the hospital and he could still worry about me. How someone could have that much capacity for compassion, I'd never know.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
I sighed, feeling guilty for even feeling half of what he must have been feeling. Ben, my best friend, was being drowned by his demons and it was so much worse than any of us had imagined. I should've known.
I said as much.
"You couldn't have known," he argued, "it's not your job to know what everyone is going through. Sometimes people have shit they have to go through alone. Sometimes they can't handle their shit alone. Regardless, they have to decide for themselves."
"Why couldn't I heal him?"
Neither of us knew the real reason, but Tucker seemed to have a guess.
"Maybe he needs to heal it himself. And maybe all we can do is help."
He watched as Elias and Lucas played a board game in the corner and drank from his cup. Noah saw us watching and came to sit on my lap. I gave him a warm smile and circled my arms around him. He'd been crying, I could tell. Like a true Joy boy, he'd hidden his tears from his brothers.
He couldn't hide them from me. None of them could.
Noah nuzzled his little head into my neck and I squeezed him tighter. The six-year-old could hardly understand what was happening. All he seemed to know was that his brother was hurting. He didn't know how or why.
"When can we go home?" Noah asked, his eyes wide and sleepy.
Tucker wore a pained expression on his face. He wanted his family close by; it was the only way to protect them. When we'd rushed to the hospital, Tucker demanded that Elias and the younger boys meet us there. We'd been sitting in the waiting room for hours and the boys were getting anxious and sleepy.
I squeezed Noah a little tighter and shot him a goofy smile.
"Have you ever been camping, Noah?" I asked and the little boy nodded.
"Once!" He replied cheerfully, "With Daddy."
My heart dropped in sadness. I didn't let my emotions slip into my expression. Tucker watched me as I interacted with his brother.
"Well, I'm going to show you what Harry and I used to do when we wanted to go camping all the time."
I scooped him up off of my lap to go ask the nurse for any extra blankets she could spare. She took one look at Noah's face and melted- I couldn't blame her. She returned with her arms full of scratchy hospital blankets.
We began spreading the blankets on top of the chairs and looping them into the armrests. When the other boys realized what we were doing, they joined in to help. Tucker sat smiling as he watched our fort being made.
When we'd finally stuffed the last blanket, I turned to Noah.
"Ever go camping in a hospital?" I asked, and he shook his head, "Well go on then!"
I ushered into the fort where we'd laid out some blankets and spare pillows for the boys. He giggled happily and disappeared inside. I didn't intrude as Lucas and Elias joined him in the fort.
Instead, I made my way back to where Tucker was sitting with a smile on his face. He continued to look at me with it spread across his lips and I shifted uncomfortably.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
He shook his head and let out a laugh as if he wasn't expecting to find it funny.
"I don't know when it happened," he said, holding my gaze, "but you've become the person I turn to for everything."
Not sure how to respond, I inspected the tops of my sneakers. He was still looking at me when his phone rang. His eyes narrowed as he checked the caller ID.
"You have a lot of nerve calling this number."
His voice was harsh and emotionless. My mind tried to keep up with his quick mood swing. He gritted his teeth as the other person responded. Anxiously, I waited for him to hang up and explain.
"If you think you'll go anywhere near-" Tucker began, but the line must have gone dead because he shoved it in his pocket with frustration. He cradled his head in his hands, running his fingers through his already tousled hair.
"It's Owein," he explained and my heart clenched, "your mother is looking for you. He said they're coming to get you."
He observed my reaction as I digested his words. The breath in my lungs got caught in my tightening throat. Seeing Owein again was not on my top ten list-especially with my mother around.
The boys giggled from the fort and I envied them. Tucker protected them from the things around them. He shielded them from the truth as they huddled up under blankets that kept the rest of the world out. The boy next to me stood, probably ready to battle the demons that threatened to come closer to his family. The two of us looked at each other for a long moment.
"I should go," I said, breaking the silence.
He looked confused. "Go? Why would you go?"
I nodded my head toward the doors, through which Ben probably lay unconscious. His gaze lingered on the doors for a moment too long, considering the brother that had almost slipped through his fingers. Tucker looked back at me and there was a foreign emotion in his eyes.
"I don't want Owein around any of you and I don't want my mom asking questions. He can't come here."
I swallowed thickly and hoped that I didn't look as nervous and as nauseous as I felt. Although, I assumed that I did. Tucker could read my face plainly and he shook his head.
"You're not going with him. It's not safe," he argued. I appreciated the concern but there was no way around it.
"He can't come here," I said again.
Tucker's eyes narrowed for a moment before he whipped his phone back out of his pocket. I watched as he dialed a number, pausing before he hit call, and put the phone to his ear. Seeing my face, he walked out of earshot before he began talking to whoever was on the other line.
When he returned, he offered no information. He simply nodded his curly head toward my stuff strewn about.
"You should get ready to leave," was all he said.
I hated it when he was cryptic and stoic like this. Instead of telling me things or letting me in, he would shut down and stare straight ahead as if he didn't hear me. Anger and anxiety rolled off of him, but I didn't know why. His long fingers interlaced together and sat limply in his lap while his eyes closed.
He ignored all of my questions, so eventually, I gave up and gathered my things like he'd asked. We sat on opposite ends of the couch waiting for... god knows what-
Until he walked into the waiting room. Except, it wasn't the he I was expecting.
Tucker's eyes shot open when he heard the footsteps approaching. I looked between the two boys in confusion and the blonde one grinned at me.
"Hey gorgeous, wanna get out of here?" Gray asked, cheekily.
Too surprised to answer back, I noticed Tucker's fists clench next to me in response. I thought he was going to approach Gray, but he held my bag out to me instead. His hands were shaking.
"Go. Now," he urged, his voice barely above a whisper, "please."
I took the bag from him and walked toward Gray. He welcomed me with open arms and I sort of fell into the comfort of his hug, feeling Tucker's eyes on my back the entire time.
"I'll call if something changes," Tucker said, his eyes on Gray.
His former friend nodded and slung a comfortable arm around my shoulders. Brown eyes narrowed into slits.
"I'm sure we can find something to do for the night, Joy."
Gray left Tucker with one last cheeky grin.
I turned to go with him and when I turned back to say something else to Tucker, he'd already turned to call Owein saying that I'd left. So I did. I left saying nothing to him, and I left without telling him I liked being the person he ran to for everything.
Gray walked with me out of the hospital and into his car, all the while carrying on a normal conversation as if he didn't just pick me up from the strangest situation. In a weird way, the normalcy was nice. He was just a cute boy driving me to god knows where for god knows what. That was the freedom normal teenagers had right?
"Where exactly are we going?" I asked, curiously looking out the window.
"My apartment."
I looked at him in surprise. "You have an apartment? I thought you lived in-"
My voice trailed off and he laughed a little. His eyes crinkled when he laughed and it was a pleasant thing to look at.
"You thought I lived in the camp? No, no. Contrary to my traditional pack brothers and sisters I prefer my plumbing to be indoors."
He shot me a goofy smirk, and I couldn't help but laugh. He put me in a good mood, something I needed more than anything else at this moment.
"I don't want to put you in danger," I muttered, feeling guilty suddenly.
"You're not. I'm glad Tucker asked me. Truth be told, he's not my biggest fan. You may have noticed."
He turned into an apartment complex that was neither fancy nor rundown. We pulled into a spot and I couldn't help myself from asking the question when he stopped the car.
"Why does he hate you?"
He sighed and walked around to my side and opened the door for me. It was such a polite gesture that seemed like nothing for him while it completely surprised me. Instead, he seemed to think about my question.
"I don't know if he hates me, really. It's probably more like jealousy."
I thought for a moment that he was joking but his face remained stoic. He opened the door to one apartment and let us both inside. It was small, but comfortable inside and looked like a typical bachelor pad. He had a tv that was too large for the size of the room, a video game console, and little to no decorations. Shoved haphazardly in the trash were multiple pizza boxes and two lights were still on. Somehow the appearance of the carefree college apartment seemed to match Gray's personality.
"What do you mean jealous?" I asked, taking a seat on the couch.
Gray plopped down next to me, his arm resting on the top of the couch above my head. He shrugged a little at my question and he looked casual, but I sensed the sadness in him.
"We were best friends. Did you know that?"
I nodded, remembering the conversation I'd had with Ben. Gray didn't seem surprised.
"He was the brother I never had. We went everywhere together, did everything together... and then his mom died," Gray's voice trailed off as if picturing the day, "until then, nobody really knew or asked which pack the Joy boys would join. Most thought it would be their mother's because she was the alpha, but Tucker always said he wanted to join mine. Because his dad was our daemon, they would've let him."
"Then," he continued, "after his mom died, they set it in stone. They would join Tommy Joy's pack. Ours. For a while, it looked that way, but no wolf joins a pack officially until he's eighteen."
I filed away all of this information, craving more. Gray stopped and looked down at his hands. When he looked back up at me, grief colored his eyes.
"When Tommy died, people kind of lost it. Being a werewolf- or any supernatural creature for that matter is dangerous, but Tommy had a way about him that made him seem invincible. It hit Tucker the hardest, of course. He was eighteen so, legally, they put him in charge of four kids. My family tried to help him for a while, but he's nothing if not stubborn as hell. And proud too."
I smiled a little as he seemed to remember his former best friend fondly.
"Owein, however, was just a dick-"
"So not much has changed," I interjected, and Gray pointed a finger at me playfully.
"Bingo. But anyway, Tucker was struggling, obviously. He hardly had a source of income and no experience in taking care of anybody- much less four kids. Owein offered his own sort of fucked-up help to Tucker when he most needed it."
"What kind of help?" I asked.
"Owein offered to take care of the Joy's financially if Tucker would promise to do two things. One was to join his pack with no questions asked. The second was that he had to cut off all communication to my pack. Which, by extension, meant me."
My eyebrows narrowed and my fists clenched as Gray continued his story.
"When he told me, I lost my mind. I told him that Owein was nuts and that we could help him but he wouldn't listen. We got into a huge fight because of the kid's damned pride."
"If he was so prideful, why did he let Owein help them? I don't understand."
Gray met my eyes. "Owein didn't just offer him help. He threatened to split his brothers up if Tucker didn't take the deal."
I gritted my teeth together. My soon-to-be stepfather was looking worse by the minute. The man was a murderer and barely cared for his own family.
"As for me and him, I guess we both figured it would be easier if we hated each other."
He shrugged noncommittally, but I didn't believe him. Gray still seemed distraught over his former friend's story. Neither of them could truly hate the other, but Tucker thought pushing him away was the answer. One question still bothered me.
"So... why is he jealous?"
"Because," Gray sighed, looking around his apartment and gesturing to me, "I'm the only one living the life we were both supposed to have."
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