Limbo: an uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition. In a state of uncertainty, up in the air, in no man's land, betwixt and between.
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Limbo was exactly where Seb found himself right now. No longer in the friend zone but not quite back in a relationship either, he didn't know where he stood and Chloe was giving him no clues, remaining her usual friendly and chatty self but effectively distancing herself from him. He'd endured nearly three whole days of it and he hated it.
"Going somewhere?" Chloe looked up from her seat behind the desk in his office to see him leaning casually in the doorway twirling his car key around his finger. Wearing a burgundy long sleeve t-shirt and dark blue jeans he looked ridiculously handsome and the thought of him going out anywhere without her filled her with jealousy, not that she'd admit it to him.
"Yes, we are." He smiled and walked over to the desk. He leant his hands on it and leaned over until he was almost close enough to kiss her.
"We?" She looked puzzled, had she missed something? She didn't remember him mentioning it earlier, in fact she could have swore he'd said that Mia and Leonie were coming to stay until the weekend.
"I'm taking you out for dinner."
"You are? You never mentioned it earlier." She stood up, removing herself from his close proximity.
"I only booked the table an hour ago while you were on that conference call."
"Have I got time to get changed?" She looked down at her brightly coloured Tikiboo leggings, a parting gift from Annukka who was leaving for Finland tonight.
"You've got time." Seb looked at his watch. "Not that there's anything wrong with what you've got on." He eyed her hungrily.
"I won't be long." She darted out of the office and went into her room, making sure to shut the door behind her, she wasn't totally sure that he wouldn't follow her. Her mind started to whir as she quickly undressed, was this a date or just dinner? Whatever it was, she suddenly felt guilty for constantly keeping him at bay ever since Sunday night, but she'd had to because the morning after he'd clearly thought they were back together and had wanted a replay while she had launched herself into total and utter confusion, resulting in her backing off and keeping a careful distance from him despite his efforts to get closer. She sprayed on some perfume before pulling a black dress, with a small dark red floral print on it, out of the wardrobe and slipping it on. Doing the button up at the back, she checked her appearance in the mirror, she wished she could tell him what was going on in her head. She loved him, she wanted him and he was already hers in a way but she was too scared to let him in. She'd never let a man have a second chance, never mind a third and if Seb screwed up again she didn't think she'd ever be able to get over it. She looked at the dress that covered her body, it was long sleeved, high necked, short but not too short, finishing about midway up her thighs and she teamed it with a pair of black strappy high heeled sandals that elongated her legs. Perfect for a date night, she shook her head at the thought and dashed into the bathroom to quickly apply a little powder and blusher to her face, followed by mascara. Then she brushed her hair and grabbed her phone and a small black bag before heading downstairs where Seb was waiting for her. "Quick enough?" She smiled as she got to the bottom of the stairs.
"Perfect timing." He eyed her again, his smile telling her that he liked what he saw. "You look amazing."
"Thank you." She looked shyly down at the floor.
"Let's go." He twirled the car key around his finger again and she couldn't help but notice the Ferrari logo on it. Opening the door he held it and stepped aside for her to let her step outside first, his smile getting bigger as he heard her gasp when she saw the car, the Ferrari California, the first car he'd taken her out in back in December last year.
"Oh my god! I'd almost forgotten that you'd got this car!"
"Have I got that many cars that you forget what ones I've got?" He asked as he shut and locked the door, amused by her remark.
"You do have quite a collection." She opened the passenger side door as soon as he'd unlocked it and waited until they were both seated before she spoke again, grinning as she heard the engine start up. "This is the car you used when you took me out that night in December, when I first got the job."
"It is." He nodded as they pulled away from the house and headed down the long drive to the large wooden gate that helped to shield his home from prying eyes. "Seems a very long time ago now."
"Yeah, a lot has happened since then." She watched as the gate opened for them as if by magic when in reality it was a button on a remote that he'd pressed.
"Good and bad." He commented thoughtfully.
"Let's not dwell too much, not tonight." She replied, quickly feeling emotional, she turned the car stereo on and connected her phone to it. She knew what was already going through his mind.
"I'll only dwell on the good stuff." He accelerated as they got out onto the road. "Like how I was already attracted to you that first evening."
"You fancied me as quick as that?" She left her phone in the tray in the centre console as her music began to play.
"It was your legs that did it for me, though if I'm honest I liked what I saw the first second I saw you." He smiled to himself as he remembered first seeing her in his gym when Britta had introduced them and how he'd swiftly told Antti that she was off limits to him.
"I do remember those roving eyes of yours, checking me out, eye fucking. You still do it now."
"Can you blame me? You're beautiful, I'll never be able to stop." He placed his hand on her thigh, just above her knee, a mistake because he instantly wanted to slide his hand up further to caress her.
"So where are you taking me?" She asked. He glanced at her, knowing that she was purposely changing the subject.
"You'll see soon enough." He removed his hand and turned the music up before accelerating some more, making the car fly along the quiet country road, smiling as he heard her let out a small excited squeal as the car's power pressed her back into her seat.
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Chloe stopped and stood in front of the car as she looked up at the quaint, traditional looking Swiss cottage that Seb had brought them to. The light was fading as the sun was setting and the lights on inside the restaurant gave it a warm and inviting looking glow. She remembered this place, the last time she'd been here it had been surrounded by a blanket of snow and had looked like an image straight off of a Christmas card. It looked as romantic now with the autumn colours starting to appear on the trees that surrounded it as it did back then.
"Recognise it?" Seb stood next to her.
"Of course I do." She looked at him and then back at the cottage in front of her. "Back where it all began." She whispered as a whole host of emotions began to swirl around her. Bringing her to the restaurant he'd taken her to when they'd first met and using the same car, it was obvious what he was doing; revisiting those first moments with her, stirring up memories and feelings, making her remember how she'd first fallen for him. She loved it already, it was such a simple thing but at the same time it was the sweetest thing he could have done for her, given their current situation and it meant a lot.
"Come on, I'm hungry." He held out his hand to her and she looked down at it before taking it and letting him lead her inside and he didn't let go until they were shown to their table, a quiet table for two tucked away in a corner but on the first floor, by the window allowing her to look out at the view. The red Ferrari California stood out amongst the other cars in the car park, a bright shot of colour among the blacks, silvers, beiges and whites of the others and the sky was painted in hues of gold, orange and blue with hints of red tinting the few wispy clouds that were floating past. Everywhere she could see was bathed in an orange glow from the last glint of the sun before it finally set. She watched as Seb ordered drinks in German from a pretty blonde waitress who clearly recognised him because she couldn't stop smiling and playing with her ponytail as he spoke.
"You've pulled." Chloe pointed out the second the blonde had gone.
"Jealous?" Seb leant his head to one side, smirking as she picked up a menu instead of answering. "I've ordered a bottle of mineral water and two glasses of red, in case you were wondering."
"Thank you."
"You're jealous." He scoffed as she peaked at him above the menu. "No need to be, you know it's you I want."
"I'm not jealous." She put the menu down. "Can you help me with this? I can't remember what I had last time." She tapped her finger on it.
"Want me to order something for you?"
"Yeah, go on then, surprise me."
"Want a starter?" He asked as he picked up his menu.
"No, I might have desert instead."
"I was seriously hoping that you'd say that." He looked up from the menu, hoping that she got what he really meant.
"You mean the food, obviously." She smiled as the waitress returned with their drinks.
"What else could I possibly mean?" He replied, giving her a loaded look and ignoring the blonde who was placing their drinks down on the table. Chloe felt her cheeks heat up under his gaze and she turned her attention to the waitress, watching her and listening to his voice as he ordered their food. After he'd finished the woman scurried away, leaving them alone again.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought your kids were coming to stay tonight?" She sat back in her seat, mirroring his relaxed posture.
"Yeah....they were." He answered slowly, thinking about his reply. "Hannah is bringing Leonie over in the morning after she's dropped Mia at kindergarten." He looked at her suddenly as she giggled. "Something amusing you?" He raised a brow at her.
"Say that word again!"
"You'll have to be more specific liebe." He smiled, finding her giggle quite infectious.
"Kindergarten."
"Why? What's so funny about that?" He asked, puzzled.
"Just say it!" She leant forward in her chair. "Please! Just for little old me!"
"Kindergarten." He said frowning as she giggled again.
"Seriously!! You have no idea how German you sound saying it! Say it again!"
"Not if you're going to take the piss." He shook his head, still smiling, amused by her finding it funny.
"Please! One more time!" She pouted, fluttering her eye lashes. "It's kinda cute to be honest."
"Ok, Kindergarten."
"Yes!!" She reached across and stroked her fingers under his chin. "Loved it!!"
"You're weird." He chuckled, enjoying her attention. "Beautiful but weird."
"So how come Mia and Leonie aren't coming until tomorrow?"
"Because I wanted to have tonight for us." He looked a little guilty. "Is that bad of me?"
"No Seb, it's not." She smiled. The fact that this gorgeous man sitting in front of her was willing to give up precious time with his children in favour of spending it with herself made her realise the lengths he would go to to win her back. It made her love him even more. "I'm touched that you'd give up time with them for me." She reached her hand out across the table and he looked relieved as he took it. "I know how precious your time with them is."
"You're worth every second." He gave her hand a squeeze and then stroked his thumb over her knuckles while they looked at each other. She lowered her eyes to their entwined hands, being here made her think back to the last time they were here. How they'd sat talking, getting to know each other; how she'd dreamt about him that night, subconsciously wanting him within hours of meeting him. She thought about him taking her for laps in the Berlinetta and their first kiss out in the open at the Fiorano test track and how it had nearly led to more and she found herself thinking of the first time they'd slept together after his accident during testing in Spain. The thought of his accident made her go cold, she couldn't live without him and the idea of it made a lump form in her throat. "Tell me what you're thinking." He murmured quietly, making her gaze return to his. She was about to answer him when their food arrived, making them let go of each other's hand. As she looked at her pasta dish it suddenly made her realise how hungry she was, she noticed that Seb had ordered the same.
"This is good." She said after tasting her first mouthful, he nodded in reply, she could see that he was thinking.
"What was you thinking, just before the food came?" He asked.
"The beginning. How we came here that night and first got to know each other. The Berlinetta.....we both remember what happened there."
"You had wandering hands." He gave her a cocky grin.
"So did you." She shot back. "If anyone had told me this time last year that I'd spend 2019 with Sebastian Vettel, I'd never have believed them."
"Any regrets?" He asked after a few minutes of them quietly eating.
"No, signing that contract was the best thing I ever did. I can't believe I've only got a few months left and then you'll have Britta back."
"You do know I'm not letting you leave, don't you?" He put his fork down.
"Maybe I don't want to leave." She forced down the lump in her throat that had returned.
"Chloe, I cant stop thinking about Sunday night." He blurted out the words before he could stop himself. She glanced around the room, not sure that she wanted to be having what could be an emotional conversation with him here, where people could see them. Her attention was caught by a couple across the room as a man lifted a small baby out of a pram. She watched as he sat down, cradling the baby in his arms while the child's mother finished eating her desert, it was an image that she could see herself and Seb in, it was something that she wanted dearly. "That could be us." He spoke again, recapturing her attention and she turned her head back to look at him. "We could start trying for a baby, if that's what you still want." Her heart wanted to jump for joy and do pirouettes at his words, she wanted that more than anything, but she just gave him a small smile and started to eat again. He waited patiently until they'd both finished their food before trying again to speak to her, to try and find out where he stood. "I need to know where I stand. I can't stop thinking about Sunday night and I've just felt like I've been stuck in limbo since. I don't know if we're just friends or something more. I love you, I just want you back, I can't bare not knowing anymore."
"I love you too." She whispered, shaking her head as her emotions quickly took over. "You have no idea how much."
"Then let us be happy together." He stood up and dragged his chair round so that he could sit closer to her.
"I'm scared Seb. Scared that if I let you in you'll break my heart again."
"I'm scared too." He grabbed her hands and made her turn in her seat. "I'm terrified that come December you'll leave and I'll never see you again. It'd kill me if I'd failed to make you happy and you left me." He let go of one of her hands to reach up and wipe a stray tear from her cheek. A polite cough interrupted them and he looked up to see the blonde waitress taking their plates, she left the desert menu and he thanked her before she walked away.
"Are you having anything?" Chloe leaned forward, removing her hand from his and picked up the menu, Seb wanted to growl with frustration as she seemed to swerve away from the subject of their relationship yet again.
"I only want you." He suddenly got up from his chair and kicked it backwards behind him.
"Seb please don't be angry." She looked up at him, acutely aware that people were now staring.
"I'm not angry. I just......" He stopped and looked down at her, feeling as though he was about to make a final, last ditch attempt to make her his once more. Suddenly he felt like it was all or nothing. A last gamble. Win or lose. He had to jump in with both feet. He had to show her how serious he was about trying again, how he wanted her forever. His stomach launched into acrobatics and his heart wanted to escape from his chest. He swallowed nervously and got down onto one knee in front of her, she gasped, putting her hand in front of her mouth to muffle the strangled sounding sob that escaped her. They heard the couple with the small baby also gasp and the sound rippled quietly around the room as other diners caught on to what was happening at the table in the corner, by the window. "I can't even begin to imagine my life without you, I don't even want to. Next year could be my last year in F1 and I want you by my side throughout it, as my wife. I love you so much Chloe, please, marry me."