Round 5: Toxicity
December 24th, 2019
Anthony sits on a stage as a bunch of eyes are on him during a sit down interview. Ever since he won two weeks ago he's been up and down for media obligations. When he lost he was able to say no, now it's back to the way it was.
There's pros and cons to winning. When he lost he didn't have the pressure of certain things. Once again the millions of questions about the undisputed fight, Deontay Wilder, and Tyson Fury are all topics in his interviews again.
He can't lie, he's a burnt out and needs rest.
Between all his business responsibilities he also had to go to Texas for Tylon's funeral last week. That in itself was draining. Mourning the life of a 17 year old who was senselessly killed. He went from the high of winning to back on a low.
The funeral was paid entirely by the Mobisson family and Anthony. It was no problem because they have the money, but it was sad in the grand scheme of things.
His foster family couldn't afford it even if they wanted to. After Tylon's death social workers looked into his foster family realizing they were very neglectful. All their foster children were taken, which meant their source of income was gone.
The state wasn't going to pay for his funeral either. They said it's not their duty and they would then send any fees to his birth parents... As if Tylon's mother isn't dead or his father isn't in prison. It's a fucked up system.
That's when they stepped in paying for everything from the casket, the headstone, the service, embalming fluid, flowers, you name it.
Tylon didn't have any blood relatives at his funeral. His so-called Foster parents didn't show up either because they were afraid of judgmental stares. The stares would be rightfully deserved because in life they didn't actually love and care for him.
Even though Tylon didn't have any blood family at his funeral it didn't matter. Good or bad Tylon made an impact with his outgoing personality and his jokes. Which when you look at it, him joking caused his death because someone's ego couldn't take it.
Damn near his whole high school was at the funeral. Tylon was among one of the most popular kids at his school. He talked to everyone. A part of that was him once being a football player until he was ultimately kicked off for bad behavior and bad grades. Teachers showed up too even if he was known for always talking and being a class clown.
All his friends who were more like brothers that he met at Ring of Hope came as well. That's who Tylon was closest to during his last days. They were so close they started calling themselves the 'Down South Soldiers' since they didn't have a 'cool' name for their amateur boxing crew.
He was even buried with his favorite boxing gloves and all his awards in his casket. Boxing was the last thing that brought him joy, worthiness, and acceptance.
And of course, every adult who had recently made an impact on his life that he looked to as mentors or coaches were there. Tylon had undoubtedly made an impression on everyone, big or small. He would be missed.
That's why they all felt some type of relief when the 17 year old who killed Tylon was charged with first degree murder. And knowing the system they'll probably hold him in county jail until his 18th birthday, so they can then charge him as an adult.
Meanwhile the other three young boys who helped the mastermind get rid of the body were still charged with murder also under Texas' "law of parties," which allows an accomplice to be charged with the same offense as the main culprit.
Even though they confessed, Texas doesn't play at all. Accomplice liability is serious and harsh in the state. People have been executed on the death penalty even though they didn't pull the trigger because they were present.
Now it's a matter of waiting for this to go to trial to see what happens.
In the meantime, unfortunately life keeps moving and going. As much as you want to mourn the loss of a life commitments and business don't stop.
Anthony looks at the 4 belts on a table that are now back in his possession. The gold on them shines in the light as he looks at them blankly. He could imagine Tylon saying, 'You beat that fat fuck after all. I guess you still got some dog in you.'
Despite him being spaced out he still hears the question the interviewer, Johnny Nelson, a retired British professional boxer, asks. "Some times you have to cross the pond to get that work. My belts took a trip to see if the grass is greener on the other side. I had to do a bit of traveling, go search for them, now they're back home. It's good to be back," he answers receiving an applause.
When he sees an employee showing a woman to an empty seat on the front row Anthony notices it's Abella. He looks her up and down staring at her long, chocolate legs that shine against the white, short lace dress she's wearing.
She gives a faint smile his way along with a timid wave as he gives her a smile back. He honestly didn't expect her to come. He can't lie, she's been a bit distant the last couple of weeks.
At first he felt a way about it, but after talking to her mother and their therapist they both said she's probably working through her grief. That's understandable.
He didn't expect for Abella to leave home though. He thought she would stay in Texas to be surrounded by friends and family during this time. That's what she did after the miscarriage...
But Abella has had a sense of uneasiness when she's in the states. It doesn't bring her peace like it used to. With Gabriel and even Rejoice out on bail she simply doesn't feel safe. Anthony doesn't blame her, so she's been in London staying at his house since the burial.
Abella has been so detached that she hasn't even complained about the fact Anthony's always busy with work obligations or out with his friends celebrating. She's been too busy herself to notice anyway..
She had been saying she was going to take a break from work for months now, but she still hasn't. Much like how Anthony kept going to the gym after the miscarriage, Abella had been going to the studio almost every night. Every time he looked up she's going to work with local U.K. artists doing features, producing, or writing.
She had somehow created work to keep busy. In the midst of that she's seemingly avoiding everything else around her including Anthony. Anytime he wanted to talk, she didn't. She would brush him off or change the subject.
Then he decided he would back off and let her work through it. That's all you can do. It's hard though because Abella isn't Abella. She's quiet, cold, and you can see the pain in her eyes.
There's too much going on between Gabriel, the label situation, Tylon's death, and the trials of Rejoice, Emeka, and Messiah. The only positive thing that happened was Anthony winning the fight and him being granted the restraining order against Natalie. Other than that, no wins for her.
"One thing I never thought I would say I enjoy is you being in a relationship," Johnny says making Anthony look from Abella to him.
Anthony only gives a close lipped smile. Through out the weeks when they asked his team if anything was off-limits to talk about Abella was at the top of the list. He had kind of taken an 'I don't talk about my personal life' policy. Mostly because the conversations only opened the door for negativity with people wanting to air their unwanted opinions on his relationship.
They have enough negativity in real life and don't need it from strangers. Plus, the interviews should stick to boxing.
"Yeah?" Is all he says in response giving a reserved smile. "I feel like I'm being bare awkward right now."
The interviewer laughs. "Why?"
"I don't know. I've never been in a public relationship. I wouldn't even call it that, but I don't know how to talk about that or answer those questions."
"You've never been in a relationship with another famous person," Johnny adds.
"That's the thing. I don't even consider myself famous, but I guess."
"Well, you're famous. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.." He suggests. "I don't want to make this a dating thing."
"No, it's fine though. We can talk about it. I presume this is a safe space," he says with a chuckle.
"I said that because any time I interviewed you it was always, 'I'm single. I'm focused and I'm not getting into a relationship until I'm almost done with boxing.' Then I think in May, I asked again and you gave a different answer. Do you remember what you said?"
"Yeah. I said I wish I would've settled down and found a good woman to help keep me focused. Also wondering where I would be with a woman by my side. I remember. That was after I went to lunch with her in Miami," he says looking directly at Abella. "I was still unsure about actively pursuing her, but I did start to think about that."
"I want to know how do you two get together. How does it happen when you're both very busy? I couldn't imagine dating in this day and age."
"Like anyone else. We're regular people. We were talking for a few months. And then after I lost she pretty much came over everyday throughout the following week in New York. Just came to chill, play FIFA, chess, watch Narcos, take naps together, make tacos, we made a friend handshake," he says making people chuckle.
"Changed my whole schedule to do that might I add," Abella throws in.
"Did you?" Anthony asks not knowing that.
"Yeah. I had the last rehearsals for my MSG show. I would literally race out of my rehearsals before anyone can stop me and go to hang out with him."
Hearing that makes Anthony smile. "Then from that week it...shifted. I kissed her and I asked her on a date. Backwards, I know, but then we started dating."
"I'm trying to imagine celebrities in the 'talking' stage. It's already hard enough to even get passed that with a regular person, so imagine," the younger woman who's the cohost throws in.
Anthony shrugs. "If you ask her we weren't talking even though we would speak on the phone for an hour, FaceTime, and text."
"We weren't talking. I didn't like him on that level yet," Abella says from the front row loud enough for Anthony to hear.
"So what were we doing?" Anthony asks with a grin looking at her.
"We definitely weren't talking those months before we went on a date. I don't believe in the talking stage at my big age. We were friends getting to know one another, started dating where we were free to still do what we want, dated exclusively, now we're in relationship with intention."
Anthony nods his head agreeing. "Wait, you guys both have rings on," Johnny notices pointing between the two of them. "Are you two–"
Anthony already stops him not letting engaged or married leave his mouth, so it can be a headline. "No," he says shaking his head. "Not yet," he clarifies. "Even if we did certain things out of order my relationship with her has still been a very traditional courtship. You have to know your end goal and work towards it. We're working."
"This conversation's way more interesting than boxing. I want your opinion... I had a discussion and I said I don't believe in love at first sight. Do you believe in it?"
"Mm," Anthony says thinking it's a good question. "I didn't believe in that, but I do think you know when you see or meet someone. With her I felt the strongest energy or pull I've ever felt. It was like on a spiritual note. I felt like I met someone I knew was going to play a significant role in my life."
He recalls the first time he met her with a small smile on his face. He felt like his soul recognized hers. Her eyes seemed familiar. When they shook hands it felt like a surge of electricity ran through him, but they still didn't let go. It was bizarre.
Anthony chuckles lightly at a woman in the audience with her hand on her chest and her bottom lip poked out. Women live for these type of conversations of men expressing their feelings.
Men usually get weird when asked about their relationship. They tiptoe around it and try not to say too much not wanting to show their emotions. Men want to be tough, but there's a level of realness to publicly and unapologetically loving someone.
"Really?" Johnny asks.
"Yeah, I didn't get to speak to her the first time I saw her. It's like my whole world froze. I was like I'm going to see this woman again. I don't know how or where or when, but I will. Then I met her and I had a different feeling about her." This time he speaks directly to Abella saying, "I liked you. I liked you a lot," which makes her smile.
It felt like it was the first genuine smile she's had in weeks. He knows when she's really happy and when she's faking it.
Women in the audience aww making Anthony shake his head with a light laugh. Most of the women were smiling as if he was talking to them.
"Obviously you care about her. How does it feel when boxing fans say she's bad for your career or image?"
Anthony laughs under his breath. It took him awhile to realize why people say that. The honest truth is they weren't expecting him to get with an American celebrity let alone a Black woman who has no problem voicing her opinions on race, gender, politics, etc.
Because of a few headlines and scandals they've associated Abella with stereotypes that're always put on Black women. They've turned her one-dimensional when she's multi-faceted. Lately they've painted her as aggressive, angry, bitter, and bitchy when her anger has always been valid.
And it's not even anger. She just wants to be heard and not disrespected. She's tired of being devalued.
Somehow Abella's not 'good' enough for him to his majority U.K. fan base. They forget that she's college educated and multi-talented. It's not a matter of either being good enough or a "prize." It's two people not judging the others past or even current decisions.
"I don't really care what people say about her. People can say what they want. She ain't going nowhere. She's apart of me now. She occupies a very large part of my heart and well-being," he says straight up. "I think she makes people uncomfortable because she's unapologetically herself. She made me stop caring."
"A lot of people have mentioned your new attitude. I don't even think it's new. I think you're fed up. Like when you called Lennox Lewis a clown..."
Anthony laughs slightly lowering his head. "Sometimes I look back on some of the shit I say and think, why did I say that?"
"I'm mentioning it because a lot of people blamed you saying that on your new affiliation with Béla. If you don't know the correlation Béla is the daughter of heavyweight boxer, Michael Mobisson. Michael was blackballed from boxing and they took his titles. Back in the day Michael called Lennox a 'coon' because he took the WBC belt that was stripped from her father when they blackballed him. Her father felt that as a Black man, Lennox should've turned down the belt because he knew what they were doing to him."
At the word coon Abella scrunches up her face. That definitely sounds like her father. He called anyone who chose White approval over standing in solidarity that word.
"Now people see where I get my big mouth from," Abella responds making some people laugh. "And for the record, my father and Lennox resolved their issues like 10 years ago," she clarifies.
"Yes. Lennox got a lot of shit because he didn't earn his first belt in the ring and it was pretty much given to him," Johnny explains for people who don't know. Johnny was in the same era of boxing as Michael, so he knows about everything her father went through.
"And I said what I said about Lennox because that's how I felt. No one influenced me. I'm a grown man," Anthony also explains. Him thinking about how people try to blame Abella for everything makes him say, "We've been through so much shit in a short amount of time. We've had to fight everybody and I'm sure we'll keep fighting. I'll fight the devil himself to be with her."
When he looks at Abella seeing her doing the period motion he laughs. He can hear her quoting Yung Miami from the City Girls saying, 'He'll beat one of you hoes up for me. On Piru!'
"How has being in a relationship helped you? How has she helped you?" The cohost asks.
"We push and motivate each other. We want each other to be the best. It's a lot of tough love, especially when it comes to boxing. She's like having another coach," Anthony laughs.
"Does she get on to you, yeah?" Johnny asks.
"Hell yeah. There's no you're doing good, babe. The love goes out the window and she's on the side of the ring arms crossed. But I need that and I respect her input. I look at her with the highest respect. I speak about her with the highest respect."
"How has she helped you outside of boxing?" The cohost asks.
"I realized my communication skills sucked," he says honestly. "I knew how to communicate, but I had to be in the right state of mind. The problem is it takes a while to get there. And until I'm there it's a lot of nonsense such as pettiness and ignoring someone. I'm not good with confrontation. I didn't like to talk about things until I'm ready."
The biggest thing they've been trying to work on is making sure what happened after the miscarriage doesn't happen again. Even if it's a small argument that's 'not a big deal' because those are what lead to big issues.
Anthony tends to think about things in his mind a lot, but never vocalizes them. He also realized he has a tendency to go ghost making someone think he doesn't give a fuck. The problem is he's never been held accountable for things like that because he was single.
"Is there something that particularly led to you realizing that?"
Anthony looks at Abella knowing the situation. Even though she had somewhat talked about what happened in one song they had agreed to keep it to themselves. Maybe if one of them gets another documentary they'll talk about it, but not now. Maybe years later.
"Life situations," he says vaguely. "We had a couple situations before we went public and after, but what saved us was communication. We had to learn to respect each other's spirit. Nurture it. Because I allowed her to see who I was, maybe unintentional, but I did so now she sees my spirit."
"Do you think there is the moment when you realize someone's the one or that you're in love?"
"To me it felt like multiple moments building, I guess. So all these things were happening throughout the months and then there's the final one where you stop panicking because your catching feelings and accept it. I was scared out of my mind up until probably when we went to Nigeria together and I went to her father's ancestral village. While there I got confirmation. I knew."
He's not going to say how he got confirmation because he'd sound crazy to people who don't believe in that type of thing. 'Speaking' to Michael made the fear go away.
"We should've got her a microphone, but Béla... Was that the same time for you?"
"I knew he was the one when he bailed me out of jail," she jokes referring to when she was arrested because of Emeka. "No seriously. I definitely agree that the trip to Nigeria solidified that what we have is beyond our being, our flesh, and beyond this earth. So yeahh.." Anthony laughs because she's just as awkward when talking about their relationship.
When Abella admitted to him that she began to feel what she believed were his emotions as early as his fight against Ruiz in June he believed it.
In response he says, "We have an unspoken bond that other people won't understand. We're bonded spiritually." He pauses then adds, "You know you're my twin, right?" looking at Abella.
His lips curl into a smile thinking of her lovingly calling him Twin. When he sees tears in her eyes he shakes his head..
"Why am I crying?" He can hear her sniffle. She's getting emotional because she needed to hear that. Hearing him declare it to a full room did something to her spirit. "Oh my gosh. I'm showing everyone how soft I am for you," she jokes making the room laugh.
Anthony chuckles before using his arms to make a motion for her to take a deep breath. "It's okay. You cry a lot. You're emotional." Abella immediately gives him a stank face making him laugh. "But yeah..." He says looking at the interviewers to say he's ready for the next question and topic.
Once the interview's over Anthony stands on the stage talking to some of the people that came. He knows his security and team hate him sometimes because while they're trying to pull him away, he'll ignore them to keep interacting with people. There have been numerous times where he's stayed hours after something has ended to take pictures, talk to people, and sign things.
When he sees Abella approaching the stage he goes to the edge looking down at her. He completely takes in her outfit looking at the bows that make the shoulder strap of the dress that coordinates with the bows on her heels thinking she's adorable.
He notices a slight shimmer of glitter on her chest that she loves to throw on just because. Her hair is slicked back into a high ponytail and she wears a pure smile on her face. Anthony leans down lowering his head to kiss her. Still kissing his lips she whispers, "I love you."
"How much do you love me?" He asks pulling back. He wears an amused smile as she debates her answer..
"Hmm, I love you more than Jollof Rice and Malta." She puts her hands prayer style next to her cheek with a smile making Anthony stretch his neck back in surprise.
"Ooh, then you love me a lot. I don't know if I would pick you over Jollof and Amala." At his response her mouth slight drops open. He laughs putting his hand under her chin kissing her again saying, "I love you too."
"I have to go though." As soon as she says that the smile wipes off his face. "A car's outside waiting on me."
"Wait, where are you going?" He asks hopping off the stage to be ground level with her.
"The studio," she answers like it's obvious.
"Didn't you just come from the studio?" She can tell he's about to give her shit by his scrunched up face.
"No, I had meetings then I had rehearsals for my Grammy performance. Now I'm going to the studio for a couple hours. I won't be too late."
"Did you forget about the Christmas party tonight they're throwing for me? I thought you're coming with me.."
"Shit, I forgot about that," she mumbles but he can still hear her. She looks at the time on her phone. "Maybe I can still go to the studio and meet you at the party. There's still a couple hours until it starts."
"Who's at the studio that you need to see so bad? You go every night and come in all types of hours in the morning."
"Nobody." Her answer has attitude not liking what he's trying to insinuate. "I'm working."
"You just put out a mixtape last month. You have this project and your last album charting at the same damn time. You can afford a break. It's Christmas Eve. I think the studio can wait."
She rolls her eyes knowing he's right and he's not the only person who has said it. She readjusts her vintage Prada nylon mini-bag on her shoulder shifting her weight to one hip. "Fine."
Anthony watches as she calls the driver who's waiting for her telling him he can go. When she hangs up she tilts her head with a facial expression that reads 'Satisfied?' loud and clear with her pursed lips.
He gives a satisfied smile that he got his way before kissing her cheek saying, "Thank you."
Abella sits passenger side of Anthony's Land Rover as he drives through the London streets towards his home. I Like It by DeBarge plays as she looks out of the window stuck in deep thought.
She keeps hearing the same thing over and over. It's what her label owner said. About a week ago Len Blavatnik boldly told press while walking out of a building that Abella 'better watch who she calls a rapist and sexual predator' when asked why he bailed Gabriel out.
To her that was a threat. People can call her paranoid, but she believes Warner's trying to use intimidation tactics to get her to drop her sexual misconduct case. If she drops hers they're hoping all 30 of the other women will follow suit because she's the reason they came forward in the first place.
That was enough to make Abella not feel comfortable in Texas anymore. When she had press, paparazzi, and strange cars outside of her suburban home in DeSoto, Texas or her mother's home in Mansfield that's a problem. It's not like she lives in L.A. or NYC where it's easy to find celebrities.
They thought this would all go away, but months later Abella hasn't backed down.
She's realizing her label used her as their token dark skin, Black female artist and now that she's ruffling feathers they don't want her. She had been turned into the tokenized poster-child for racial gatekeeping. The artist to say 'See, we sign women like her.'
This is how systemic institutions work and Abella feels like she should've seen it sooner. She has been used and subjugated, now they're ready to dispose of her.
All because she chose to seek justice for an unwanted assault rather than protect her image. It's about impact and not fame. If one young girl's inspired that's enough for her.
But then there's the backlash... People boldly asking questions like, Why are girls coming out now? Is there any proof?
She can count on both hands how many men publicly backed her through this. Nobody to say they believe her or support her. All these men can ask for a feature, slide in her dm's, and mention her name in lyrics but now they're silent.
As if Abella and some of the other victims didn't support their careers consistently. Some claim to love and protect Black women, but won't amplify Black women's truth. That's why she has to commend Anthony because he's supported her through everything in these days.
Speaking up is taboo in their community. You can't even say you've been sexually assaulted to your family, so imagine telling strangers. People love gaslighting Black women by saying if you would've done it this way instead of that way then people would believe you, but they never were going to be on her side or any of these women.
The more this goes on it reminds her of what they did to her father. Michael told Abella how they had people following, investigating, and harassing him for years after he started speaking about racism.
Abella closes her eyes, but when she sees Tylon's body laying in the casket they shoot back open. With everything going on lately it has caused her to be withdrawn. From her family, friends, Anthony, social media. She's been trying to avoid further trauma, but it's hard.
It feels like everything's against her. Her energy's being drained. It's a spiritual warfare and she's losing.
With all the bad that happens in her personal life she at least had good when it came to her music and her career. She spends hours in the studio trying to escape and keep herself busy, but it's not working.
It's not until Anthony sings in a high pitch horribly that her thoughts are broken. "You send chills up my spine every time I take a look at you," he sings while turning the corner. "Ooooh..." He goes on turning to see Abella looking at him. He bounces his brows up and down playfully making her shake her head.
"That ain't it," she mumbles referring to his singing. Anthony continues to sing freely dismissing the hate from the other side.
She grabs one of her two phones from her lap occupying herself with Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp. Tamara always teased that Abella had 2 phones because one's for business and the other for Femiiii.
When Anthony's arm reaches across the center console landing on her thigh before gripping it, she glances at him. It immediately sends shivers up her spine. She feels like she hasn't felt his touch in forever, but it's her own fault. Times like this she doesn't want attention. She just wants to be left alone.
Her other phone goes off, so she picks it up to see a message from the artist she was supposed to go to the studio with tonight and they're not too happy about the cancelled session.
While she's typing a reply Anthony says, "You gonna have a phone in your face all night?"
"I can't be on my phone now? I can't go to the studio, use my phone," she rants showing how irritable she is.
"Not if you're not going to talk to me. I feel like you haven't said more than a sentence to me these last 2 weeks."
Abella sighs. "I haven't had much to say."
"Are you okay?"
"Mhm," she eases out nodding her head.
"You don't sound too convincing. We can talk about it..."
"Eh, there's nothing to really talk about," she shrugs. When he gives her that concerned look she insists, "I'm fine. Trust me." While they're stopped at the red light she caresses his face before kissing him hoping that'll make him drop it.
When he does a goofy smile she chuckles at the expression of bliss. She rubs his chin before he points at her face saying, "You have something right there?"
"What?" She asks prepared to pull down the sun visor to look at the mirror.
"Beauty." Realizing what he said her shoulders drop as she tries to fight a smile. Anthony claps his hands sending his loud and obnoxious laugh into the air, but it's contagious making Abella laugh too.
"You're so annoying. Every time you get a haircut you don't know how to act."
"My confidence rises to 1000, you know." He rubs his hand over his head adding, "I made you smile though."
Once the light turns green he hits the gas. As he drives he steers with one hand and he uses the other to hold Abella's hand. Every few seconds his thumb rubs against her knuckles helping her anxiousness.
Pulling her hand up he kisses the back of it, while their fingers are intertwined. "You just need a stress reliever," he comments referring to the conversation earlier of her well-being.
"You have never lied. These next couple of days need to fly by because I'm ready for vacation." A trip has been long overdue.
"Until then...I'm gonna fuck you so good when we get back to the house." Abella's not even taken aback by the statement.
"I knew that's why you didn't want me to go to the studio. You want Big Momma to put it on ya." When she sticks her tongue out he laughs.
"It's going to be the other way around," he responds calmly. When he gets to his house he parks in the garage and they walk in to a quiet and dark residence.
"Where's everyone?" When she left it was a full house.
With Christmas being tomorrow Abella's mother and Odera with his wife and son had flown in for the holiday. They were all staying at Anthony's house including his own mother, Joseph, Janet, and Angel.
"They took the kids to some Christmas thing," is his best explanation because he can't remember nor does he care. All he knows is they're alone. He throws his keys on a table as Abella turns on the hallway light.
When he scoops her off her feet and she hangs over his shoulder she laughs. It allows her short dress to expose her ass giving him the opportunity to smack it.
"Ow," she hisses. "Don't drop me," she says as if she hasn't lost 15 pounds since he met her in order to please her label. Which he had his oppositions to her doing that, but she could be any size. She has one of those bodies that wears both slim or thick very well. If he could pick her up then he can do it now.
"Do you know who I am?" He asks cockily making his way down the corridor.
Before they reach the stairs he puts her down only for her to start running up them. "Last one to the room has to give head first." The last thing he sees is her Black lace panties under her dress as she runs up the steps.
Anthony took his own sweet time to the bedroom. When he opens the double doors Abella sits on the edge of the king size bed and Fuckin' Wit Me by Tank's already playing.
He laughs under his breath closing the doors behind him and locking them. While he takes strides towards her she says, "What took you so long? You lost."
"There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it," he quotes. "And I'm about to be real good at it," he says confidently stripping his hoodie off removing the white T-shirt underneath at the same time before throwing it to the floor. Her eyes wander his torso going from his toned arms to his chest then abs.
He lowers and brings her chin up to kiss her. "You gonna let me get in it like I want to?" Abella looks at him with soft eyes nodding her head up and down. Anthony looks at the clock seeing it's after 6p.m. and the party starts at 10.
"Promise me something," he says extending her right leg taking her heel off. He tosses the thousand dollar shoe like it's nothing knowing he could buy her a thousand more pairs if she wanted.
"What?"
"Promise you won't run tonight?" He asks taking off the other shoe tossing it the same way.
"I promise." She hopes it's a promise she can keep. Nothing makes Anthony more upset than a broken promise. And if it involves sex she'll get punished for it. "You won. You brought the belts home to me like you promised. You can have anything you want."
"Anything?" She nods her head as confirmation. She looks at the dark and determined look in his eyes.
He motions for her to stand up then turns her around unzipping her dress. Once the dress falls to the granite floors she steps out of it and his lips press to her shoulder. Wearing only a matching bra and underwear set he's able to fawn over her beautiful, dark brown skin that has a natural glow.
It's flawless and smooth with not a blemish in sight. No scars and not even a stretch mark for the times she grew quickly.
Him rubbing all over her body paying more attention to the soft parts with his rough yet gentle touches were starting to get her worked up.
Now laying on the bed with her back to the soft mattress it felt like she was on a Flying Nimbus cloud. Especially with him kissing slowly in the crease where her thighs meet her hips. Don't ask why, but that 'creasy thing' is one of his favorite parts of her body.
As his lips come in contact with her thigh sending short kisses down them he keeps eye contact with her. He pulls off her underwear wasting no time to tangle his tongue in her warm lips. She gasps jerking at the sensation.
She couldn't contain herself as a melodious moan escaped her lips. Her hands run over his hair before pushing his face deeper. With each flick of his tongue it felt like butterflies were fluttering in her stomach.
With each passing minute it was clear he had it already planned that he's aiming to manipulate every spot sensually and accordingly tonight. There's nothing better than a man taking his time with your entire body, not rushing you to climax.
...Even though she already had one. At this point it just feels like both abuse and overachieving.
He digs his fingertips into her shaking thighs holding her in place firmly. Another approaching climax was causing her body to tense up and build a wall of resistance. Her face contorted in pleasure and a sob choked up from her throat before releasing in liberation.
Nothing makes Abella feel better than intense, passionate sex. And by that she means wandering hands, short pauses, teasing, and tempting while taking your time. Slow movements that are pleasing and filled with long lasting satisfaction.
That means little laughs that you can't help let out, mumbled words, and moans. She wants to feel the tremble in your voice when you say 'I love you.' She wants to feel it all. Pair it with lingering kisses, hair pulling, hand holding. It sends her body in a wave that she doesn't want to come out of. She wants it even if it's too much too handle.
At first Anthony started off slow showcasing his love and dedication to her. But then he sped up pounding into her ensuring she felt all of him not allowing her to miss a beat. Being a compliant person she took it, but then it became too much causing her to disobey his promise of 'no running' tonight.
Anthony drags her across the bed like he's a monster under a bed. Abella laughs saying, "I was trying to run from your ass."
"I said no running."
"I changed my mind," she says with a chuckle as he kisses her upper back. She sighs when he makes sure all his weight isn't on her and her legs are spread enough while she lays on her stomach.
He slides into her making her grip the sheets. "Who you runnin' from?" She moans into the sheets slamming her hand into the bed. There's something about this position that drives her crazy. "I'll have you balled up in a corner you keep playing."
When he reaches around her and puts his hand around her throat she bites her bottom lip. He lays his head next to hers beginning to whisper the nastiest shit he can to her while drilling into her.
When he pushes her left leg up so he can get in it more she loses it. "Ouuuhhh." The faster he goes the more she knows it's pay back for running because he has a strong grip on her now.
When she puts her hand on his stomach to put some distance between them. Of course he pushes her hand away and grabs it. "What the fuck you doin'? Move. It's mine, right? Let me do what I want."
He moves to his knees hovering over her sliding back into her. She moans throwing it right back making her ass bounce on him. He keeps still letting her do the work.
She stretches her arms straight out putting more force on it. She can't even see the look of love he gives her before rubbing circles into her back. He grips her hips harder as she hit every spot.
He stares at her ass in a trance before smacking it multiple times in different directions every time. He can feel the buildup, so he pulls out releasing it on her awaiting tongue. He groans at her lips wrapping around him before going back to his previous position and sliding right into her.
"Swallow it," he commands while stroking in out and. She consumes it effortlessly enjoying every second. "Show me." She sticks her tongue out displaying it's clean happily.
He wraps his hand around her throat kissing her cheek to show his satisfaction. He speeds up digging her out making her eyes roll back. She throws her head back running her tongue across her bottom lip.
Once again that overwhelming feeling hit her. For a second Anthony was feeling like a drug taking her to another dimension. To the point it felt like she was seeing stars all while tears danced in her eyes.
Reaching another climax she moans through Like You Love Me by August Alsina as he continues to fuck her through the orgasm not stopping for a second.
He pushes her head into the mattress muffling her sounds. He could pull her ponytail off right now and she wouldn't give a damn it feels that good. Once again his body shudders with an orgasm, but this time he leaves it in.
They both lay still sighing. Anthony pecks her lips before flopping onto the bed beside her with both their chests heaving up and down. Abella's flushed with bliss as sweat sheens her body.
Anthony rubs his hand up her thigh until it runs into the deep cuff of her butt. When he jiggles her ass cheek she looks at him in pure disgust making him laugh.
He looks at the clock seeing it's now 9p.m. seeing as they took the time for a couple rounds and intervals. "We have to get ready for the party."
"I'm ready for bed," she says with a yawn. "I can't feel my legs." Her face is pressed to the bed. She lays there like a dead person for a second until Anthony pushes her to roll her over.
He moves her to the edge of the bed saying, "Come on." He picks her up putting her over his shoulder taking her to the bathroom.
An hour and a half later Anthony stands at the bottom of the stairs looking at his AP watch. Right when he looks up Abella's at the top of the stairs beginning to cascade down the steps.
She now wears a short black dress with a deep plunge covered in rhinestones that shimmers all over. She pairs it with Christian Louboutin stiletto strappy heels embellished with a bow covered in glittering gemstones. It's the perfect holiday look.
After grabbing her coat they leave. Anthony's running late for his own party, but it's fine. The guests aren't going anywhere.
When they arrive to the party they walk in to Both by Headie One playing at a high volume. After taking pictures the couple go their separate ways giving each other the desired freedom they need. Anthony goes off to find his boys, while Abella gets a table in the corner with Ms. Banks, Ray BLK, Stefflon Don, and her other female friends in London.
After hugging each woman she's offered a bottle of alcohol that she accepts. As she's pouring people drinks Steff speaks up saying, "I heard what's going on with your label. That's mad."
"These men are actually sick. This world is done out here," Ray throws in.
"And that's why we don't take the shit from these men," Abella says holding up her glass that's now filled with liquor.
"Cheers to that," Ms. Banks states as they tap glasses. They all take sips signifying the party has started.
An hour into the event Abella's enjoying herself. She's glad Anthony forced her to come because she needed a night out.
She can hear Anthony talking into the microphone. You give this man a mic at any event and he's holding onto it tight the whole night. While sipping on her drink she looks at Anthony on stage...
"That's a big man," Abella can hear one of her friend's comment. When she looks at her she throws up her hands in defense. "Just observing. I'm trying to figure out how you handle all that."
Abella wonders herself sometimes. She downs her drink when she hears over the music loudly, "Where's Abella?" She looks at the stage seeing Anthony looking for her. She holds up her arm with her glass in hand. "Come up here," he motions.
She puts her cup down getting through the crowd going to the stage. Anthony helps her up then kisses her cheek as she wonders why he called her up here.
He extends a mic to her and she knowingly jokes, "You're gonna have to pay me, baby."
"Don't worry. I will," he flashes a smile at her when the DJ starts her song. A beat that samples the horns in Like a Boss by Slim Thug and The Boss by James Brown begins. The heavy hitting bass makes the club rattle as she says the intro...
Who the boss? Who the mutha fuckin' boss?
Boy, you ain't a boss
You a worker, nigga
I'm the Mob Boss
The Mob
She laughs at people quoting the words enthusiastically before going right into the hook...
If you didn't want a boss, what you fuckin' wit me for?
Every man ain't no boss and every boss ain't my type
It take a real independent woman to recognize this shit
Every nigga 'round me legit, I don't fuck around with no bums
I need a boss like hey, who's flossin' like hey
When she looks at Anthony and lovingly strokes his chin he smiles before she raps the first verse...
Keep it G, that's all I ask from these niggas
Love to hate, you little broke mad bitches
Yes she bad, but she 'bout it?
You'll fuck a lame for a deposit
Everyone 'round me solid
You move under pressure, hydraulic
Still the one you're not topping
Guess that's why I'm always the topic
You bitches are tiny to me, Polly Pocket
Niggas softer than Build-a-bear
Girls faker than American Girl
25 but my bank account look like a mogul
Ass sit up nice, so your nigga tempted to ogle
Texas girl, but my business go global
Trust issues got me so antisocial
In this game there's no permanent friends,
only permanent interests
Nobody breaking bread with people who don't have common sense
Know the difference
You see these features, I'm so in love with this pretty brown skin
Got these color struck rappers wantin' a chick dripped in melanin
Withe sea of people bouncing to the beat Abella feeds off the energy. With Anthony's arm wrapped around her shoulder they both point, gun fingers and all. And this is why she says he's her muse and biggest fan.
They complain I went mainstream, crossed over
But you see how this little Black girl took over?
Just cause I got Pop hits don't mean I won't pop my shit
These white people owe us reparations & I'm gettin' 'em
Really that's the minimum
When they're using our culture; it's criminal
Only selling out we do is selling out shows
Really it's not selling out, it's selling in
For White folks there's no tap dancin'
You the type to do anything to appease 'em
That's the difference between me and them
After performing a couple songs off her mixtape, Lady by Rema pumps through the building as people dance to the uptempo beat and melody of the smooth flowing Afropop song. Abella sings the lyrics as Anthony has his arms wrapped around her from behind.
"I'm gonna use the bathroom," she lets Anthony know before untangling from his grasp. She maneuvers through the party going into the women's bathroom finding an unoccupied, clean stall.
After using it she comes out seeing another woman at the sink counter. Abella approaches beginning to wash her hands. With her head down she scrubs the soap around her fingers when she hears, "Béla?"
She looks up into the mirror seeing the woman's a journalist and radio personality here in London that she's done a couple interviews with. They both smile and Abella says, "Hey. I would hug you, but–" she looks down at her sudsy hands making the woman laugh.
"I understand. I was wondering if I was going to get to speak to you. Maybe it's the wrong time to ask, but maybe you can come in for an interview before you leave London. I don't know if you're free." She gives a hopeful smile.
"It would have to be soon if we do. I'm going on vacation for a couple weeks then back to work."
"Damn, we'll see if we can fit you in. I'll dm you about it."
Abella nods going to dry her hands. While doing so she glances over her shoulder seeing the woman pop a pill into her mouth.
Catching Abella looking she double takes then offers, "Want one?" Her first thought isn't that she got caught and looks crazy. Drugs are a common thing in the industry. People do them out in the open. If that's not what you're into you simply say no while others indulge.
"Umm," Abella starts while walking towards the sink to get her phone that's on the counter. "What's that?"
"Molly." Knowing she shouldn't, she still contemplates.
"Uh, sure," Abella shrugs nonchalantly. She's been needing to release stress for awhile.
One won't hurt, is her thought.
The girl offers her more than one, but she only takes one. She knows the high will last a couple hours and that's enough to get through the party. She puts the pill on her tongue swallowing it with her spit before they both exit the bathroom.
She goes back to partying and about 45 minutes later she sits on the couch laying her head back when the pill finally kicks in. She takes a deep breath in letting the euphoria wash over. It's a familiar feeling, but it's also been awhile.
Molly produces relaxation, energy, and a sense of peace and joy. Everything she needs.
Abella relaxes her jaw making sure it doesn't twitch or clench. Just to be safe she digs in her purse and gets a piece of gum to chew on.
Right at that moment Abella's pulled up by a friend to dance. With the new high of Molly it gave her energy to dance for hours. The music adds a profound effect to the drugs and the colorful lights are alluring.
She hasn't been high in so long it feels like she's standing in the presence of God. She feels like she's floating. She feels alive and in the moment. All things she hasn't felt in awhile.
Under Molly's influence Abella wandered about the party striking up conversations and dancing with complete strangers. No one thinks her behavior's odd because she's known for being a social person.
Even when Anthony found Abella in the party after not seeing her for more than an hour he didn't think anything was off...
He laughs at her thinking she's being her goofy self. He can tell she's officially drunk by the look in her eyes... But he doesn't know she's also high.
He gives her a thumbs up asking if she's okay and Abella shoots him one back before he goes back on the stage.
As the night continues Anthony parties with his boys in a section as Dance With Smoke by M24 plays. This one particular girl has been trying to get next to him for the longest and finally succeeds. When she inches closer trying to dance with him he wags his finger at her.
"My girl will fuck you up," he warns with a laugh showing he's tipsy.
The girl kisses her teeth long and hard rolling her eyes at the same time. Her thoughts are: Don't let his girlfriend stand in the way of you and your future husband. She's a girlfriend, so technically he's single because he ain't married.
Abella makes her way over to where Anthony is because she can't stay in one place long. Despite her now being around, that same chick is still trying to dance on Anthony who continues to move.
Taking a sip of her drink, Abella narrows her eyes noticing. Anthony's expecting her to at least scold the female, but she brushes it off. Off a Molly, she's not even capable of aggression right now. Any other time she would've been ready to fight a bitch.
The girl boldly strokes Anthony's face making him pull his head back. "Unless you're trying to fuck both of us go on somewhere," Abella finally says in a calm manner.
Instead of thinking her behavior's odd he shrugs it off as her being secure in their relationship. They're celebrities and they know they have fans and groupies.
The Next Morning...
It's barely 7a.m., but Abella can't sleep so she decides to get up. Peeling Anthony's arms from around her she sits on the edge of the bed. Anthony's knocked out considering they partied until 2a.m.. She sneaks to the bathroom turning the sink faucet on looking at herself in the mirror.
She's filled with regret from taking that one pill. Even if it doesn't become a habit, she had officially relapsed. She's disappointed in herself more than anything. She splashes water in her face with a sigh.
After washing her face, brushing her teeth, and throwing some clothes on she walks back into the bedroom. Seeing their dog awake she says, "Come on, Champ," sending him to get up and follow behind her.
She picks him up once they get to the stairs because he's still getting the hang of them. She's also too impatient to wait on his slow behind to struggle down them. Once she reaches the kitchen she begins fixing breakfast for everyone. She doesn't want to hear people complaining all day that they're hungry until Christmas dinner.
While cooking Champ sits close by just waiting for her to give him something. When Abella hears footsteps she looks at the clock on the oven seeing it's 8a.m. Anthony walks into the kitchen prompting her to say, "For the first time, I woke up before you."
A side effect of Molly is not being able to sleep, so that's the only reason she's awake.
"It's a miracle. A Christmas miracle." He walks up on her from behind putting his hand on her waist kissing her cheek. "Good morning, my love." She says it back with a smile before he asks, "What did you fix?"
He looks at all the food as she answers, "Pancakes, waffles, french toast, eggs, sausage, fried plantain, oatmeal, buttermilk biscuits, tea. Better eat enough because the kitchen will be closed once we start on dinner."
"Well, okay," he says popping a piece of plantain into his mouth. He sits on the counter stool before commenting, "Last night was a madness. You were dancing like crazy. Looked like you had fun..."
"I did," she smiles faintly. Changing the subject she suggests, "You might as well open your first gift."
"Thought I opened it up last night?" He smirks not missing the chance for a dirty joke. While turning off the stove she chuckles.
"I thought men said pussy isn't a gift."
"I didn't say that." She chuckles then motions for him to follow as she leads the way through the doorway to the connected dining room.
She hops on top of a table that's covered by a white sheet. This is part of the reason why she had to get up early because she had a special delivery coming. "What's that?" He asks. She hops down then dramatically pulls the sheet like a magician revealing the brand new dining table with matching chairs.
She knocks on the table. "Wood, not plastic," she says trying to be funny.
"This is nice," he says looking at it wearing a smile. He pulls one of the seats back sitting down to test it out. "I like it. Thank you. What'd you do with the other table though?"
"I had the delivery people take it."
"Why?" He asks like he's mortified.
"It was plastic," she responds like it's obvious.
"I could've put it in another room or the back garden. It worked. It wasn't broken. Perfectly fine table."
She purses her lips giving him a blank look. "Let it gooo," she sings like Frozen.
"I'll let it go because if you're buying furniture for my house it means you'll soon be moving in. That's where it starts," he grins.
"If he's not your God ordained husband you should not be living with him," she says quoting one of her religious Nigerian aunties. She looks at Anthony's unamused face beginning to laugh. "Anyway, you're not serious. Where's my key, oh?"
"Soon come. I'm gonna go wake everyone up, so we can get this day started. I'm ready." With eagerness he exits the room.
From the kitchen Abella can hear yelling upstairs, so she can tell some people aren't too happy about being woken up. She knows he's waking people up in the most annoying way possible, especially Angel.
After eating breakfast they exchange gifts with one another. Abella simply liked seeing the joy on other people's faces deciding to open the majority of hers later.
Only relaxing for a little while longer Abella found herself in the kitchen again starting on dinner this time with the help of her mother, Anthony's mother, Janet, and Odera's wife.
Abella's the type of person who makes everyone help in the kitchen. If you can't cook you can at least hand her a measuring cup, so other people had been in and out. All anyone knows is they're about to be eating good with a variety of foods.
It's obvious Anthony's the most excited about anything Toni's cooking because every time they look up he's in the kitchen peeping to see what she's doing. He's been craving some Southern soul food for awhile. He deserves to eat what he wants today.
The next time he pops in Yeoo by Manny Wellz is playing as all the women sing the part in Yoruba, while subtly dancing and still cooking.
He smiles, but it disappears when Abella scolds, "Come in here one more time and not help," while pointing a spatula with batter on it at him.
He waves her off putting an arm around Toni's shoulder asking, "What are you cooking now?"
"Banana pudding. Half with no bananas for my picky child, of course," she says referring to Abella.
We just wanna be free
Yeoo yeah
We just wanna live life
Yeoo yeah
We just need love
Janet, Abella, and Lesedi lively sing using their cooking tools as microphones before they do the scatting part. "If y'all are gonna turn this into American Idol y'all can get out too," Toni says making them stop.
Anthony laughs and points getting a discreet middle finger from Janet. When he goes over by his mother, Yeta asks with attitude in her Nigerian accent, "Please, what do you want? We all know you're only good at eating, so go somewhere."
"How come I get kicked out, but Joseph doesn't?" He asks looking at his son who stands on a step-stool helping Abella.
He does smile at them bonding. Natalie saying he can't be around Abella had fell on deaf ears. Natalie got a bigger slap in the face when her restraining order against Abella was denied. That's what she gets for being petty.
Anthony watches as she guides Joseph's hand holding a measuring cup of sugar to drop it into the mixer. Abella doesn't believe in people saying kids are too small or too young. Kids like to learn, help, and be involved; that's how her parents raised her.
"Now push this button," she instructs. "Good job. Thanks for helping me," she says giving JJ a high five.
Hours later they have eaten dinner as people relax with full bellies either watching tv, playing games, or dancing. It all depends on what room you're in in Anthony's packed house as more of his big family has shown up.
He looks at Champ who now has on a Christmas sweater that Abella put him in shaking his head. She knows he's going to be a big dog, so she's enjoying while he's small.
"We need to take a picture of our first family Christmas together," she announces.
Some people groan because Abella has had a camera in people's face all day. She had definitely taken her father's place as the family photographer and videographer. She has been rotating between a Polaroid, vintage camcorder, and a digital camera.
"Aht aht, don't be like that," she says already setting up her tripod. She sets up her new Canon that Odera got her for Christmas then sets up the scene with chairs.
Once everyone finds a spot she looks in the viewfinder making sure it looks good with the Christmas tree in view. She motions her hand for her mother to move in closer.
She puts it on the self-timer then runs to sit in the empty chair next to Anthony who has JJ in his lap. She puts Champ in her lap joining everyone wearing smiles as the flash goes off taking the picture.
After it taking a few tries to get the perfect shot everyone goes back to what they were doing. "What's your problem?" Anthony can hear Joseph drag out towards Angel. They're always arguing. At this point they're not even just cousins, they're siblings.
"What's my problem? What's your problem?" Angel shoots back. Abella laughs while Anthony tunes them out like always grabbing his bottle of Malta from the table.
"Yeah, what's your problem?!" JJ asks with more attitude as they begin bickering. He has no idea how a 4 year old and 12 year old are fighting over a Christmas gift.
Abella sits in an armchair just watching everyone. All I Want For Christmas by Mariah Carey plays, but instead of joy it brings sorrow. It reminds her of her father because it's his favorite Christmas song. This year makes the second Christmas without him.
She withdraws into herself wishing he was here to dance and sing with her. For the past couple of weeks she had been asking for a sign that everything will be okay after Tylon's death from her father.
...But nothing. She hasn't been able to feel her father's spirit for almost a year now. Sometimes she finds herself not even being able to see his face. Like she's forgetting him..
All of a sudden she feels this presence next to her. Abella shakes her head thinking she's tripping, but it gets closer and closer to the point it's almost suffocating. She feels something like a hand touching her shoulder, but when she looks over there's nothing.
Then she feels this pull that makes her stand up. The air around her feels like the movement of dancing.. the way her father would dance, snapping fingers and all. She looks around seeing if anyone sees or feels this, but everyone's carrying on normally.
Abella's stuck then decides to just dance to the music. While spinning around she closes her eyes taking a sigh of relief. When her eyes open Anthony's approaching. He grabs her hand twirling her before holding up a piece of mistletoe making her laugh.
She leans up kissing him and like a romance movie she kicks her leg up and points her toe. Right at that moment Odera captures the shot on her Polaroid camera. It prints out and he hands it to her.
"That's cute!"
"You ready to open your gifts?" Anthony asks getting a head nod. Abella follows him upstairs to the bedroom. There's a medium sized tree in the corner of the room where they put all their gifts for each other.
Even though they gave each other a set amount of gifts Anthony had more than what was said. "Open this one first," he says sitting a fairly large Black box on her lap.
"What is it?" She asks with a smile even shaking it.
"Something you mentioned you wanted." She gives him a curious look before undoing the red fabric bow tied around it. She lifts the top, but closes it back after getting a glimpse of the gift.
"Noooo," she says with her bottom lip dropped down.
"Open it," he encourages.
She opens the box being met with a Hermès Birkin Bag. Not just any Birkin though. It's the rare one she's been eyeing for months in Rouge Casque and Black in Chevre leather with brushed gold hardware.
"I know you wanted to buy it yourself, but-" He shrugs realizing she's about to cry.
It's not her being materialistic. She's crying because not only was he listening and paying attention, but she knows it's not easy to get one. You can't just walk in and buy one because of who you are or if you have the money. You have be put on a waiting list.
Also because it's the first time she's felt truly appreciated in a relationship.
"What you crying for?" He asks as she hugs the bag to her chest.
"Nasty but Classy. Birkin bag me," she raps between the tears even pointing her finger. He laughs wiping her face. "This isn't the cheap one either. I see you Big Daddy!" She sniffles before kissing him.
"None of those bags are cheap. What you talkin' about?" He asks letting his cheap nature jump out.
"You didn't get me the $15,000 one that just anybody can get. This is exclusive, honey!"
"Oh, then yeah. It's definitely not. This is one you can re-sale for a good 50 G's," he states nonchalantly. He wanted to find her the perfect gift to thank her for everything she's done for him, especially leading up to the rematch. He wouldn't have won without her by his side.
"I got that Birkin Pussy!" She brags.
"Model it," Anthony hypes her up.
He didn't have to say it twice. She hops up strutting back and forth before posing. She holds the purse on her fingertips before holding up her arm so it's over her shoulder. She slowly drops down into a squat posing again.
"Come on!" He hypes before she stands up rushing towards him. She jumps in his lap kissing him multiple times while thanking him.
"I'm not done." He hands her a gift bag this time.
She pulls the card out first reading it out loud, "I gave my heart to you, but I know that I can never take the space of a void that will always remain. Our love grows everyday, but a part of your heart will always be vacant. I'm not your first love, but I do hope to be your last. The first person who taught and showed you love is what allows you to love me, so I'll always be thankful. I want you to wear the lessons of your first love everyday because Michael made you you. I know the love of a father can't be replaced."
She starts crying again, but this time she laughs not liking that she's showing her emotions so much.
She opens the small box pulling out a heart shaped pendent covered in diamonds on a matching diamond chain. "It's a locket," he points so she opens it.
In it is the last picture she had taken with her father before his death...
At that point she's crying harder looking at the picture remembering the night. It was her first time performing at a big festival. Her parents had driven 4 hours to come to South by Southwest in Austin, Texas. Michael looked so proud of her and he stated it a million times to make sure she knew.
"Where did you get this from?" She asks in between sobs.
"Your mother."
When her father died it literally felt like she was having a heart attack. Her heart physically hurt. It literally broke. It shattered. Real heartbreak is when you feel it in your chest and your heart hurts. Your body and mind want to give up.
No one could hold her heart and hug it. It's a deep feeling. It's a heavy feeling. She felt a ball of energy, pain, and anger in her chest.
She had that same feeling when she had the miscarriage. Her stomach felt so empty. Her soul too. Pain is crying for days with red eyes seeing no end.
How she also felt when Tylon died. She honestly didn't think Tylon's death would hurt so much. But when you know someone's potential and you've taken time to foster it then it's taken, it hurts.
Despite all the betrayals and backstabbing she went through this year, she still opened her heart and family to a total stranger. She's starting to wonder what does being a good person get her. Every time she ends up hurt whether the person takes advantage or she gets attached to someone who'll only be in her life for a short period of time.
Abella hates feeling this way. She never wants to put herself in this position again. Even if that means never opening her heart to help someone else. She wants to put a lock on her heart. Maybe that's cold...
"Abella, I admire you. I admire your fight despite everything you've gone through and you continue to fight," Anthony explains holding her, while also wiping her tears.
A sense of guilt comes over her knowing she relapsed last night. If he knew he wouldn't be saying this...
_________
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