Draco's stomach rumbled for the second time in ten minutes and he regretted not stopping for breakfast. He hadn't had anything in the apartment for days and if he wanted anything for dinner he was going to have to stop by the market on the way home. Soup and cold sandwiches again, he thought with a grimace. He hated not being able to cook; it made him feel like a child. The only time he got a decent meal was when he visited with Andromeda or Jason and Janey invited him over.
Speaking of Jason, Janey had sent him more notes to read over on broken bones and sutures. He knew Muggles had gotten along fine with their medical techniques but some of them seriously freaked him out. He was just beginning a paragraph about setting bones when a soft knock distracted him.
"Come in," he called out and when Harry stuck his head in the door, he immediately put his paper down. His brows were drawn together and he looked anxious. "Is everything okay? Mr. Thompson-"
"He's fine. I haven't seen him in a few days. Things have been relatively quiet with him. Um... I actually came to talk to you."
"Oh. Okay then, take a seat." He put his paper back in the notebook and he put it on the shelf behind him, running his fingers through his hair, hoping Harry wouldn't notice. He sat back down and faced him. "So, what's this about?"
"Well, your partner Janey got ahold of me the other day. She asked me to come see her about something and I figured it had to do with work. But she wanted to talk to me about what happened at Kingsley's office a while ago. And we did talk a little but I guess she could tell I was uncomfortable."
"Did you leave?"
"Yeah, but... I don't want you to get angry, but she told me to come talk to you. She said you knew what I was going through, and more than that, she said you'd understand." He said this with a sort of wistful hope in his voice and it almost broke his heart. He could see what the stress was doing to him. He offered him a smile and he nodded. He noticed Harry was tapping his foot and twirling his wand.
"Why don't you start by telling me how you're feeling now? I notice you're having a hard time sitting still, and I've noticed you doing it before, the tapping and the twirling."
"You have? Well, I guess even just talking about it makes me nervous. That's another reason why Dr. Talley sent me here. She figured since we know each other it would help." He rubbed the back of his neck and Draco smirked.
"Do you think it'll help?" he asked quietly, more as friend than a Healer. Harry must have noticed the slight difference as well.
"Yeah," he nodded. "Just... this whole thing, it makes me feel... I don't know," he paused and Draco could tell he was having a hard time getting his thoughts together and his words out.
"May I take a guess?" Harry nodded and Draco sat back in his chair. "You feel anxious often, don't you? Maybe a little jumpy. You might even feel the urge to draw your wand when someone walks too closely behind you. You may feel like people are staring at you. Well, more than they usually do," he joked, and Harry smiled a lopsided grin. Draco's neck warmed again
"Is it normal to feel like this? I feel like I'm going crazy."
"I bet you do. Anxiety is a normal state for some people. But it never has been for you, or not that you've noticed, which is why it's affecting you so much now."
"Is it a Muggle thing?"
"Well, it's an anyone thing, more or less. We both know what you've been through in your life, and how much of that was only just a short time ago." He could feel the heat crawling up his neck; he had caused so much of the torment in his life. Harry nodded at him, his ears a nice shade of scarlet as well. Draco cleared his throat and kept on. "Well, now that things have quieted down, your body, your mind, they're confused. You're still in fight or flight mode and you're keyed up. Your subconscious is just waiting for something to happen because that's all you've known for the better part of your life. You aren't used to the quiet yet."
"Does it get better?"
"Well, it may ease up after a while, or you may have to deal with it for some time. It may go away altogether." He tried to sound hopeful but he didn't know Harry well enough to be able to read his face.
"And you've dealt with this? That's what Dr. Talley said."
"Yes, I have." He paused for a moment, trying to put his own thoughts into words. "I know our pasts are polar opposites, but I do go through the same things. Some time ago I was walking down the street to Gringotts and there was a Wanted Death Eater poster and I automatically lost my breath and my heart started racing painfully. I was looking over my shoulder every other second and I had my wand at the ready, even though, rationally, I knew there was no one there." He took a deep breath now, the overwhelming doom feeling trying to settle over him. "I hated the lot of them, always in and out of my home, but I couldn't do anything about it. I see their faces everywhere I go, I can feel them, their hands grabbing me and..." He stopped. He was getting nauseous just thinking about them. "Even just sitting at home, sometimes I get panicky and everything feels wrong. That's the anxiety kicking up, but I fight through it or just wait it out. I also don't hold it in. I call Jason or Janey, sometimes I'll call Andromeda, just to have a conversation, something to help keep me in the real now, the safe one. I hope that makes sense."
"It does. What else do you do for it? How do you fight through it?"
"Well, I tell myself everything is okay, first off. Then I take a deep breath and do something that calms me. Different things work for different people. Breathing exercises, getting a nap, reducing stress, things like that. Maybe finding an outlet for the stress. I like to read or paint, or sometimes I take my broom out and just fly around for a while."
"Okay," Harry said, chewing his lip again. "Do you see many patients with this?"
"Personally, no. I see mainly small emergencies. I don't see many witches or wizards who would be going through some of what you are."
"Why?"
"Mainly because I'm specializing in Magical/Muggle Medicine. But, also because I'm a Malfoy. Like Mr. Thompson, not many people trust me. But Kingsley trusted me enough for this position and so I don't complain. Much," he added with a miniscule grin and Harry finally smiled again.
"Is he the one who told you about this? The anxiety?"
"No. It's something Janey told me about. She said she picked it up in me just through working alongside me." He nodded his head and looked around the room.
"So, do you like Muggle medicine?"
"It's interesting. Their strategies are different, but they work quite well."
"Are you enjoying being a Healer? You seem to be really good at it," he said, and he was chewing his lip again, but the smile was still there.
"I am," he answered and this time he genuinely smiled. "It's great work, and I love doing it. My patients are kind and usually pretty easy to care for. Off the record, a little girl came in a day or so ago, she had been on the receiving end of a jinx and she had sprouted a unicorn horn and tail. Her neighbor is a young witch, you see. Anyway, she told me that even though she loved unicorns, she didn't want to look like one," he chuckled, remembering how excited she had been but how close to tears she had been as well. "Just a simple spell to reverse it and she was good as new. A quick wipe of their memories and everything was alright."
"I'll bet she was grateful," Harry remarked, and Draco nodded.
"She was. She told me I was the best doctor she had ever seen, and coming from a sweet little girl, it meant quite a lot," he shrugged again.
"Does it bother you that they don't remember you? Or that you helped them?" Draco sat back, a little stunned by the question. He hadn't thought about that before.
"Well, you're right, they don't remember what I've done, but they can recall me a little, Janey's had people mention me to her before since sometimes I have to send people to her. That's part of the magic of the door we had installed here. It's for the best." Harry nodded again and Draco shrugged.
"So, what now?"
"Well, I know your job is highly stressful, but I'd like to see you try to relax a little more. Maybe pick up a hobby or something. If you're still feeling this way in the next couple of weeks, let me know and we'll discuss it a little more. If you'd like. Sound good?"
"Sounds good to me," Harry replied as he stood up. Draco came around the desk and followed him to the door. Once out in the hall, he turned back. "Thanks, Malfoy."
"It's what I'm here for," he shrugged with a smile, but Harry shook his head.
"No, it's more than that..." He narrowed his eyes and Draco took a deep breath. "Thank you for really talking with me."
"Anytime, Potter." He held out his hand and Harry grabbed it. When their palms connected, Draco's knees threatened to buckle, but he only smiled. He slowly pulled his own hand back, reluctant to lose the feeling of Harry's hand in his own. Harry pulled back though and rubbed his hands together before putting them back in his own pockets. He walked off down the hall, turning back at the end and smiling at him once again. Draco's face flushed and he ducked back into his office quickly.
If he'd ever had a crush on Harry in school, it was ten times worse now...
***
"How did we get stuck doing patrol in the rain?" Ron asked sarcastically and Harry shook his head.
"Beats me," he muttered. They had been watching the Thompson home for so long, yet they were still no closer to catching their culprit. Robards hadn't given he and Ron the chance to speak to Rodolphus Lestrange, but he'd sent two more-senior Aurors and they had gotten nowhere with him. When he had given Robards the idea, he hadn't had the chance to tell him that he wanted Draco to speak to him, so maybe he'd try that again later. If he was going to talk to someone, it would be him. Or so he figured, but he didn't want to push him to do something he didn't want to do.
"Do you think we're being proactive enough?" Ron asked, interrupting his train of thought.
"Well, we've got round the clock patrols on all the family and the house. We've put up posters and BOLOs. We are literally doing everything we can," he grouched and Ron nodded. Harry sighed and leaned his head against the tree they were standing under.
"Do you... do you think we'll succeed?"
"In catching the guy?"
"Yeah... and saving Thompson in time..."
"Of course we will," Harry told him bracingly. He took off his glasses and rubbed the tiredness from his eyes. They both knew all too well the harsh reality of life. Ron slouched beside him and Harry leaned back against the tree.
"You okay, Harry?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." He stifled a yawn and looked up at the dark, heavy clouds. He took a deep breath through his nose and slowly let it out through his mouth. He thought back to what Draco said about taking deep breaths and trying to calm himself when he started feeling keyed up. He also thought about his eyes. When they had had been in his office, they had been a deep grey, with hints of blue, much like the storm clouds that were hovering over them at the moment. And while they had been that stormy blue, there had been a kindness, like a cool raindrop on a feverish forehead. And when they had shaken hands, that fever had spread all throughout him and he'd been wishing for a kind rainstorm ever since.
"Harry look," Ron whispered, and he shook the thoughts from his head, looking to where Ron was pointing. A cloaked figure was slowly walking towards them on the opposite side of the road. They stayed in the shadows, but they could just barely see him in the dim streetlight. "Should we move in?"
"Not yet," Harry answered but his voice caught in his throat. He didn't want to attack an innocent person, but he didn't want to miss his chance to nab their guy before he disapparated. They moved forward slightly, still under cover of the tree and they watched them. The cloaked figure stepped out from a shadow and stood right in front of Mr. Thompson's house.
"I can apparate over there-"
"No," Harry said, thinking. "They'll here the crack and run off."
"But we can't let them get away! We also can't let them get off another spell we can't undo." Harry knew he was right.
"Alright, let's move in. We'll go slowly and quietly, not draw any attention to ourselves." Ron nodded at him and then slowly walked out from under the tree. The raindrops settled on his glasses and he had to keep wiping them away, further agitating his nerves. They stayed on their side of the road but kept their eyes on him. They moved slowly closer and Ron grabbed his arm at the same time Harry saw him reach into his cloak. He pulled out a wand and his heart sank. He gasped and reached for his own wand but the man turned at the sound of his breath and as soon as he saw them, he disapparated.
"Damn!" Harry shouted. They ran over to where the man had been but to no avail; all trace of him was gone. He'd missed his chance.
The next morning, he and Ron were in the office making notes about their patrol when there was a knock on the door. Robards stuck his head in and he and Ron instantly sprung to their feet.
"Good morning, sir," Ron addressed him.
"Take your seats. I just came to speak to you about your patrol last night. I heard you actually saw someone draw a wand on the house?" Harry sighed and nodded.
"Yes sir," he replied but he didn't say anything more. He didn't want to tell him that he had made a noise and scared the person off. Robards looked at him closely but he kept his mouth shut.
"Be more diligent next time," he said and Harry and Ron both nodded. "Get me your reports as soon as they're done. We'll be sending another team to the house shortly and we want them as up to date on information as possible." The nodded again and Robards left the office. Harry's face and neck burned in shame.
"How in the world could I have scared the guy off? We had him right there!"
"It was an honest mistake," Ron tried to console him, but Harry ignored him. "Besides, it may not have even been our guy. It could have been anyone." Harry shrugged; it seemed too coincidental.
"Ron, what if-" A knock interrupted his question and he slammed his fist on the table. He flopped back into his seat and turned his chair to face the wall, not wanting to see anyone.
"Come in," Ron called out. He was expecting Robards to come back, but it was Draco's voice that made him spin his chair around.
"Is this a bad time?" he asked, and he looked at Ron who shrugged and looked at him.
"No, come on in," he answered. He pulled his chair up to his desk and hoped that Draco couldn't see how agitated he was.
"So, Mr. Thompson came in today. His wounds look the same and-"
"Great," he sighed, but Draco put his hand up.
"That is great, actually. It's not healing per say, but it's not getting worse, which means the antibiotic is keeping it at bay, it's working the way I had hoped. I went ahead and gave him another dose this morning and he'll be back again same time next week." He looked between them and raised an eyebrow, obviously confused as to why neither of them were more excited. "Guys, this is good news."
"I know, I just... We saw the guy last night," he whispered. Draco raised both of his brows in surprise.
"You did? Did you get an ID on him or anything?"
"No, not this time," Ron shrugged. Harry rolled his eyes and pounded the table again with his fist.
"No, because I fucking scared him off."
"What?" Harry watched him as he asked, but he didn't see any accusation there, just curiosity.
"I saw him draw his wand and for some stupid reason, I gasped. I took a loud breath and scared him off. I let him get away. He was right there!" he ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath.
"Potter, it sounds like an honest mistake," Draco said.
"If he dies... it's my fault."
"It won't be your fault, mate," Ron said, and Draco stepped forward.
"Listen, Potter, you can't take that blame." Harry looked up at them and he blushed when he noticed how intense Draco's gaze was. "Besides, you guys got really close, which is more than anyone else on the case can say. You've gotten farther than anyone else."
"But I was the one who let him get away," he repeated, and he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. None of them spoke for a few moments. The quiet room was disturbed by a rustling of paper under the door and they watched as a memo flew in and landed on Ron's desk.
"Listen, I'll let you get back to work. I'm going to head out now." He nodded at him and left without another word. Harry rolled his eyes and stared at the closed door. He wasn't sure what to think about Draco. In the short time they had been reacquainted, he had been an almost completely different person and it was making his mind and his heart run wild. He had had no idea how pleasant of a person he could be. He was more disappointed that he left than he was willing to let on.
"So, this was from Dad," Ron said. "He's got a Muggle contraption down in his office that he thinks could help with our case."
"What is it?" Ron scanned the paper again and narrowed his eyes.
"Something called a Video Surveillance System?"
"Oh, yeah."
"You know what it is? He says maybe we can put it up, and a few more, around in different places to keep an eye out for us and it could maybe give us a good shot of the guy's face."
"That's a good idea. How soon could we get them put up?"
"As soon as possible, I think. I'll go see Dad about it now." Harry nodded and rested his forehead against his desk as soon as Ron left the room, hoping this would be a way to make up for the blunder he had made.