TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains scene/s that may be upsetting, disturbing, and/or traumatic. Please be advised.
Episode 33:
"We're not the same. I'm not like you."
Parehas kaming napalingon ni Kenneth kay Rosendale na nakasandal sa may kalakihang puno. By the looks of it, it seemed like she's been listening for a while. I found myself releasing a breath that I never thought was holding because of how things are unfolding in front of me.
There's a bigger part of me who's not believing to Kenneth but there's also a part as well that wanted answers from Rosendale herself. The only thing that really creep me out was how Kenneth knew too much information that's supposed to be private. It's like I was being followed all along.
It's not what he said that sent the entire shivers to me but on how he knew those things. His eyes, and the way he moved, it's like he's not Kenneth anymore but some stranger I'll never wanted to meet.
Mabilis akong naglakad palapit kay Rosendale. I can't help but gripped her hand the moment I got close to her. Her skin was so warm that I realized how cold mine was because of what's happening. She put her arms around me, pulling me possessively to her like I'd go anywhere.
I stared at Kenneth and found myself being unable to read him. He's staring at us, just that. I still didn't understand the point why will he tell me Rosendale and him were the same. I didn't think so, because this girl with me was not emitting such kind of danger that I can't stand. Sure, Rosendale can be somehow like that, but not to the point of me actually getting scared so much.
"You're getting the wrong person, Echo." Kenneth said, there's something his voice, like a mixture of threat, hurt, and coldness. Nakakapanindig-balahibo. I've never felt something like this, the urge to vomit something. Napalunok ako at sinamaan siya ng tingin. "You don't know that person."
"What do you even know about her?" I asked in return. Huminga ako ng malalim. Naramdaman ko ang paghigpit ng hawak ni Rosendale sa kamay ko. I stayed looking at him. "It's you who are now questionable, Kenneth. How did you even know all those things? Are you following me? What, you're a stalker?"
"I'm only watching you to keep you safe, so, I'll know when someone's getting close to you." He reasoned out. Kinilabutan ako lalo sa kanya. Nakaramdam ako ng inis. Hindi ko ine-expect na ganito siyang klase ng tao. He's so creepy that I don't even want to see him after this. "Unlike that woman beside you, watching you every single seconds of the day na akala mo naman, mawawala ka na lang bigla. What's our difference, Echo? We're both watching you, it's just that she's worse. And yet there you are, being bias."
"I'm not being—"
"How can you even explain that she's your classmate to all the subjects since freshmen up until now? She's wherever you are like a dog."
Kumunot ang noo ko. Nilingon ko si Rosendale. She's not even trying to say anything, she's not trying to deny it. When I looked into her eyes, I saw nothing, like it's okay for me to believe whatever Kenneth was saying.
"You didn't know how she negotiated with the heads in this school just to be with you, do you?" His chuckle was dark, mocking even. Hindi ko na alam kung may mas ikukunot pa ba ang noo ko dahil sa nagaganap. My mind was a pool of information I was forced to absorb. "Ha! Isn't she pathetic and creepier? Staring holes at you when you didn't even know, being with you unannounced. Why do I know? Nakikita ko lahat, napapansin ko."
I can't help but averted my gaze at her again. I was waiting for her to say something, wave my doubt away, or to do anything, just anything.
I remembered the times where I'll accidentally look at her and will caught her looking at me. I thought that's just coincidence. We people tend to stare back at the person who's looking at us so I didn't make it a big deal. But remembering those times made me want to believe that maybe, there's truth in Kenneth's words.
I tried to take away my hand at her but she won't let go. My heart was beating loud, the hair on my skin was standing up, my guts telling me to escape.
"Do you really believe whatever she's saying? You think she's just this little innocent psychopath Rosendale who doesn't like anybody but is actually fantasizing you? Mag-isip ka, Echo." Umiling siya. He was smirking but his lips went straight in a snap. "I like you, sure, I even think I'm in love with you. I keep watching you but I tried getting close to you in a very normal way as well." He gave emphasis to the word normal, like trying to impose insult. "Pero siya? She took advantage of you, living with you, showing her weaknesses on purpose just to get your damn attention. Too bad you fell for it—"
"Enough." Rosendale cut him off. He tilted his head, amusement mirroring his stupid face. "Shut up your big mouth."
Kenneth laughed. "Bakit? Takot kang malaman niya? She's mine first, only if you didn't play dirty!"
"I was never in a competition with you, I don't need to explain myself. And she's never yours in the first place, you know that."
"I found her first."
"I beg to disagree."
Hinila ako ni Rosendale palayo. I don't even have the strength to counter her. I felt so tired suddenly. I felt like crying but I didn't know why. Dahil ba sa nalaman ko? Ewan.
Natigilan si Rosendale, pero mabilis ding nakabawi. She shook her head but didn't say anything. Tuluyan na niya akong hinila palayo.
It's either the class already started or there's none. But right now, wala na akong pakialam. I didn't feel like attending the class. I just wanted to hear her side, know the truth. I want to hear her from Rosendale herself.
Napalunok ako, I felt like my heart's on my throat, choking me. Things have sped up so fast, unwrapping unforgivably.
A few days ago, I was happy, and now I was troubled with everything. I can't help but to think that all the happiness was getting back against me. But that's so stupid. I didn't even believe in karma, it's for people who were coward enough to face their consequences so they made something up for excuse. Like, misfortune was a result of not doing good so it's the karma. It's merely a web of life. Maybe karma was just a word being taken to another meaning. I don't know, don't care either whether I was right or wrong. It's just my opinion anyway, a perspective.
I don't think being happy was bad enough to be in this situation. Things just happen. Cheddy was right, I was cynical.
"Rosendale, where are we going?" I was brought back to reality after noticing that we're already outside the school. She didn't answer, she continuously pulled me so I tried to stop. She looked at me. "Ano na?"
"To the truth."
I didn't understand what she's trying to say pero hindi na ako kumontra. I just let her. I trust her after all, no matter what. I was just hoping it'll be fine soon.
--
She brought me to a place I'm quite familiar. It's a condo not far from school. Mataas iyon at malaki, parang bagong pintura. The place looked simple but sophisticated. That's how I can describe it. She wasn't saying anything. Gusto kong magtanong pero pinili kong manahimik.
The guard knew her. Bumati pa ito at tumango na sinuklian niya lang din ng tango. She was holding my hand, hindi niya pa iyon binibitawan simula kanina. Walang tao nang sumakay kami ng elevator. She tapped the number. I can see our reflections very well and I know she's staring at me through it.
Tiningnan ko siya, lumingon naman siya sa akin. Her eyes gazed at my lips. She leaned slowly, her hands on my neck, her thumb tracing the back of my ear. It was soothing but it's making me feel something as well. Her lips finally settled with mine, glazing softly, like subtly testing it.
Kusang napapikit ang mga mata ko nang makita kong ganoon ang gawin niya. She pulled herself closer, snaking her free arm on my waist. She bit my lower lip gently, tugging it rather unconsciously. I can feel how warm her breath was, it's making me dizzy for some reason.
Bumukas ang elevator matapos ang halik. My heart was beating so fast. The kiss was gentle, it was different, and yet it felt so bothering in my part. Hindi ko alam kung maganda ba 'yon o hindi.
We stopped to a door after. I think that's her, of course. She fished out the key and that's when I realized that we didn't have our bags. Shit. I hope Cheddy will take care of it. She opened the door and led me inside after clicking the lights on.
The walls were peach colored. There's nothing much inside. It's not that big but enough for one to two person to lived in. There's sofa, table at the right and its small kitchen and refrigerator.
For some reason, sobrang bigat ng pakiramdam ko rito. I can feel...her. I can't explain it. Sure, the wall paint were not dark in color, the whole area were almost empty, but it made me remember her and the baggage she was carrying inside. I don't know, it's making me breathed hard.
"Let's go to my room," she whispered.
Huminga siya nang malalim. Ewan ko, pero mukha siyang natatakot na kinakabahan. Hindi ko mapigilang maramdaman din iyon. So, this was where she lived ever since she lost everything.
Rosendale, just who the hell were you? I have this thought that maybe I didn't know you still. It's making something inside me ache. This was stupid and annoying.
The seconds felt like hours with every step we're making. We're getting close to the door of her room, feeling ko rin ay para bang gusto ko nang umuwi. Parang ayoko ng sunod na mangyayari. Pero ayoko ring umalis. Ang gulo ko.
Finally, we reached her door. She slowly opened it at kadiliman ang sumalubong sa amin. When she clicked the lights on, a loud gasp escaped my lips.
I got the biggest surprise in my life, that's no doubt.
It was her room full of pictures—of me.
_____