Chapter 11
I stared at my body in the mirror, running my hand over my naked stomach, caressing the bump that had formed over night and I could basically watch it grow by the minute. Collin and I had spent yesterday painting the walls, the furniture left behind by the former owners of the house and making this house our own instead of murdering Moros. Collin had told me to choose one room as our bedroom and one room as the baby's future room and I had loved that and had taken hours to chose the perfect room for my baby, paint the walls and organize the furniture. They only deserved the best.
Collin had promised he was going to take me to a store in the city these coming days so I could look for some fabric and sewing materials because I wanted to make their stuffed animals myself, pouring all of my love into it. I just wasn't sure which colors to chose since I didn't know what they'd like. I wanted to give them everything they needed which I hadn't been able to give Moros' and my daughter. I guess this was my way of grieving because I didn't know what else to do or how to deal with that other than blocking it out so I was hyper-focusing on this baby.
I yawned loudly and walked over to the oak-wood closet, digging around in it to find something comfortable to wear. While Moros had always wanted me to look like a petite, little doll, Collin didn't care and let me dress the way I wanted and right now I just wanted something warm and comfortable to be lazy in. I found one of Collin's pullovers and put that on, my pale legs sticking out at the bottom since it was way too big on me and almost looked like a baggy dress.
An amused chuckle made me turn my head and I could see him sitting on the edge of our bed, smirking sleepily at me and I beamed back at him, opening my arms invitingly while I wagged my tail at him. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me, burying his face inside of my hair. I chirped happily, curling my tail around his leg to stop him from letting got of me. He noticed and huffed amused, trying to cover a laugh but it didn't work and I beamed at his face.
"Good morning." He hummed, kissing my temple.
"Mhmn." I replied.
I got onto the tip of my toes and rubbed my face against his, nuzzling his jaw affectionately. He cupped my face and gave me a quick peck on the lips while I squeaked happily, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him down to my level to check on his mood. It felt as if we were moving in the right direction, leaving the past and especially Moros and his actions behind and as if we could be happy together. I wanted us to succeed.
"Can I touch you?" He asked cautiously.
Trust.
Trust was important. We had talked a lot about it yesterday after both of us had calmed down and I had taken a long nap since I was completely exhausted after telling him and bawling my eyes out. We had agreed that me trusting him was going to be one of the most important things and I had promised him to try. As much as I was scared and didn't want to, I was going to have to give him an advance of trust and that was either going to go great or horribly wrong.
I nodded and held my breath, waiting for him to act while I was trying to relax. He noticed how nervous I was and slowly moved his hand up to my stomach in order not to scare me, trying to make me as comfortable as possible. I swallowed hard as he started caressing my stomach gently, watching me closely to see how I was reacting to him. I forced myself to calm down and just slumped against him while he kept massaging my stomach in circles, smiling happily.
"Your morning sickness seems a lot better." He murmured. "You aren't as pale anymore either."
He was right. I had been able to just shrug it off once it hit and continue what I was doing this morning other than projectile vomiting all over the place. I didn't know if that had something to do with the accelerated growth rate of the baby since everything seemed to be going so much quicker or if this had to do with the babies father and how he was treating me. With my daughter it had taken weeks to get as far as this pregnancy had come in just a few days.
"How long do you think it is going to take?" I asked, snuggling up to him.
"I don't know." He shrugged. "It's not like I have done this before and can compare it."
I snorted at his words before I remembered he had been trapped inside of Chaos most of his life and he had just managed to get free and live a life of his own, making friends and getting to know his son. It made me sad to know he had been alone all this time while watching over his son was the only entertainment he had been granted the entire time. He noticed my smile had turned into a frown and he grabbed my jaw, looking at me questioningly.
"I just want everything to be ready on time." I assured him. "I want this to be perfect."
"You are doing a great job, Nael." He smiled. "The baby couldn't be luckier than to have you as a parent."
A sharp pain was shooting through my chest and I whimpered, confused for a second, grabbing onto him. It took me a while to figure out I wasn't sick, I hadn't been hurt and no one hurt my feelings, I was just happy he thought I was going to be a decent parent and I wrapped my arms around him, looking up at his face with a wide smile. I could see the amusement sparkle in his eyes and he hugged me back.
"Thank you." I whispered.
"I didn't even do anything." He huffed.
My tail curled around his leg and I hugged him even tighter. He might not know it or disregard it as a minor thing but he had given me everything I always wanted. He let me love him, he moved us into a beautiful home and most importantly, even tough I had never expected it, he loved me back. I could cry from happiness every time he looked at me, he painted a wall in our home, or he just existed.
"You seem happy." Collin hummed, reaching up to touch the side of my face.
"I am very happy." I chirped, rubbing my face against his hand.
He let me keep that up before he pulled his hand away and left me aching for more affection from him. My breath hitched as he let his head hang and ran his nose over my cheek bone until he reached my nose and kissed the tip of it. I giggled, grabbing his head and pulling it closer to me, so I could press my lips against his. He smiled against my lips and took a nip at my bottom lip, making me groan and open my mouth. He didn't take this as far as I would have wished for and pulled away after a few seconds.
"That's good." He smiled.
"Are you happy?" I asked, clenching his pajama shirt in my fists. "I want you to be happy, too."
I hadn't asked him that yet and he hadn't hinted at being bothered by anything but you could never know. It was better I directly asked him so he could tell me what I needed to change to make him happy. I'd do anything to make him as happy as I was and even if that meant that I had to go back to being miserable, I'd do that as long as he and my baby were happy. That was my only purpose in life anyway. That's why Nyx had purchased me to begin with.
"With all the love you are giving me, I couldn't be happier." He smirked, winking at me. "Although there is one thing I want to try."
"Which is?" I asked curiously.
He smirked and grabbed my hand, dragging me over to the bath room. He was starting to take all of his clothes off and I furrowed my brows because I didn't understand what his intentions were until I caught a whiff of air, smelling his arousal. My body instantly reacted and I bit my bottom lip while my muscles quivered, trying to keep my body under control. It started trembling visibly and even though I didn't understand why he thought doing it on the tiles was a good idea, I took off the pullover I borrowed.
"In the bathroom?" I made sure.
"In the shower." He corrected me with a grin.
I wasn't totally convinced but I wasn't going to say no to his suggestion. Whatever made him happy, I was going to go along with and even further if I had to. Even if that meant getting totally soaked and slippery instead of doing it on the bed, surrounded by fluffy pillows and cozy blankets to snuggle up under afterwards. I was going to miss the pillows, though. They were nice.
It started off as a seemingly normal shower with me washing his back and I just enjoyed being close to him. I liked the way his muscles were flexing under his milky skin, goosebumps were covering the surface everywhere I touched him and how my body reacted to his scent as I ran my nose over his skin. I liked us. We were a team, I had someone who didn't neglect me, who wanted me to be happy as much as I wanted him to be happy. I didn't have to suffer.
"What are you thinking about?" Collin asked.
I blinked these thoughts away and found him turned towards me, head cocked. I beamed at him and watched a smile appear on his face. I wished I could preserve that image of him somehow and just mentally replay it in my head over and over again because it made me feel content to see him happy. I wanted nothing more than to keep it like this, to have him all happy and smiley instead of angry at the world like he used to be.
"I'm very happy with you." I chirped. "That's what I'm thinking."
"Good." He murmured.
I got on the tip of my toes and gave him a quick peck onto his lips and he smirked satisfied, cupping my face and pulling me back in for another kiss. My tail crept up his leg and wrapped itself around his thigh as he proceeded to place a battery of butterfly kisses on my lips. I sighed happily and rested my hands on top of his chest, running them over his pectoral muscles and giggling to myself.
He moved me around so I was facing the shower interface while he was standing behind me, nipping at my shoulder lightly. I let my head hang while the water was soaking me and Collin was running his hands all over my body, prodding, pinching and just generally driving me crazy while he explored my body to his heart's content. I could feel his erection pressed against my backside and I wanted nothing more than to lift my leg for him but he had my hips in a tight grip, making it hard to move.
"Stand still." Collin commanded firmly.
I tried my best and he moved my legs apart, grabbing my hips again while he rubbed himself against me. I whimpered low in my throat and let my head hang, panting heavily as he ran his hand over the inside of my thigh until he moved upwards and gave me a few strokes to tease me. I grunted and threw my head back against his shoulder, pressing my legs together tightly but he took his hand away, making me huff frustrated.
"Keep them like this." He murmured and readjusted them how he wanted them.
I nodded weakly, knowing I was probably not going to be able to do that for him but I was going to do my best to make him happy. My legs started shaking as he squirted a bit of body wash into his palm and started washing my body, moving slowly over every area of exposed skin while he followed them with his lips, leaving behind reddened, sensitive skin. I closed my eyes and slumped against him as he reached my butt, gently rubbing my entrance while I mewled.
I whimpered weakly and he knew what I wanted, luckily he didn't decide to play with me and just sunk himself into forcefully me while I moaned loudly, getting water in my mouth. This shower thing was annoying me but the fact that my toes barely reached the ground and he was buried so deep inside of me, it felt like he was poking my stomach, was distracting me from that and I grabbed onto the wall for support.
I felt him snarl against the back of my head, his breath skimming over the baby hairs there and I had trouble keeping my legs from collapsing underneath me and placed how he wanted them to be. It felt like my skin had been set on fire, everything was aching, shivering and waiting for him to move but he didn't. Instead he had me hugged to his chest and repeatedly pressed his lips against my cheek bone while I mewled breathlessly.
"Are you alright?" He asked.
"Yes." I replied weakly.
"Good. This isn't as great as I thought, though." He huffed. "I mean the part with the soap was nice but the rest was just wet and slippery."
My arousal instantly subsided and I just felt awful and guilty for not satisfying him. If I hadn't doubted his plan or if I had put a little more effort into turning him on, this might have been fun for him but I had ruined it. I had failed him and I wanted to cry because what else was I supposed to do now. I had one job and that was to please him and what had I done so far? Hurt him, disappointed him and just thought about myself and what I needed to be happy.
"Sorry." I mumbled.
"That's barely your fault." He huffed, pulling out and turning me to face him.
"I could..." I tried to offer.
He cupped my face and brushed his thumb over my cheek, making me look at him questioningly. I didn't understand why he was trying to comfort me when all of this was my fault but he did and it felt so nice. I leaned into his touch and smiled at him, looking for a sign of him being mad at me but it appeared like he wasn't which I didn't understand. He should be mad at me. He had every right to be mad at me.
"No." He smiled. "It's not your responsibility to make me happy. I'm glad you care about me this much but it's not your fault if I don't like something."
"But I can change." I protested, taking his hand off me. "If I change, you are going to like it, you are going to be happy."
He looked sad for a moment and I didn't understand why. All I knew was that I didn't want him to be sad, so I grabbed his face and rested my forehead against his, sighing deeply. I didn't know what I was supposed to do to help him and it was tearing me apart on the inside. I felt helpless and I hoped this tiny gesture was going to make him feel better since it always lifted my mood when he did that to me.
"I don't want you to change." He murmured. "I want you to be you."
"What if you don't like me." I asked fearfully. "I don't want that to happen."
I didn't even know how to be myself. I had spent my entire life changing myself to please a person that couldn't possibly be satisfied and it was hard to drop that habit. I wasn't sure if I even wanted to drop that habit since I feared he was going to change his mind about being with me. What if he thought I was a boring, traumatized mess and he could do better? I'd still love him and he'd show me the cold shoulder just like Moros had. That was going to tear me apart on the inside all over again.
"I already love you." He hummed. "Nothing is going to change that."
Collin didn't give me the chance to freak out and picked me up, carrying me over to our bedroom. He laid me down carefully on top of the pillows and crawled up to my face, giving me a quick peck on the lips before he moved down to my sternum, leaving behind a wet trail of kisses. I moaned loudly and arched my back at him, letting him play with my body again until I was reduced to a whimpering, squirming mess which couldn't think clearly anymore.
"This is better." He smirked.
I mewled and threw my head back against the pillows as he slowly entered me again, wrapping my twitching legs around his hips to draw him in deeper. I couldn't stifle the moans spilling out of me as he began moving and I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him closer, pressing my lips against his cheek bone as he rolled his hip against me. He growled low in his throat and buried his face inside the crook of my neck, covering the skin there with kisses.
I panted hard, gasping for air and he grabbed onto me tightly, picking up the pace. My eyes rolled back into my head and I whimpered as my muscles clenched around him, making him groan as he smacked his lips against mine in a sloppy kiss. It didn't take him much longer and he came inside of me, growling low in his throat as he spilled himself, my muscles locking up in return.
He threw himself onto his back beside me, draping one hand over his face and sighing heavily. I crawled up to him and flopped down on top of him, making him huff at the impact. I whined until he buried his hand inside of my hair, petting my head while he was beginning to doze off. I started purring as we just laid there, enjoying each other's company and I let my thoughts run wild until Collin flinched underneath me, eyes flying open and he growled under his breath.
"He can't be serious." He snarled angrily.
I got pushed off him and he basically jumped out of bed, looking for clothes to wear before he hurried downstairs. I was a little hurt because I didn't understand why he treated me like this when I thought I had made him happy but this wasn't anything I wasn't used to, so I grabbed Collin's pullover to wear and followed him. I didn't know what I had expected but most certainly I didn't want to find Erebus and Caleb standing in our living room, looking peeved.
"You can't move here!" Erebus complained.
While he was getting upset and running his hands through his hair, Caleb just stood at his side, partially hiding behind him and he raked us with a sneer as I stopped at Collin's side. I didn't understand what his problem was or why he just didn't spit it out. He could enjoy his life and be happy with this version of Erebus and I could love mine and be as happy as I had never been, he didn't need to be pissy the entire time.
"We already did." Collin deadpanned. "We aren't moving back."
"You can't do that." Erebus huffed.
I felt Collin shift his weight and I looked up at his face, a frown spreading all over his face. He didn't like being told what to do and he liked being bossed around by his other half even less. I took his hand to assure him that nobody was going to make us do anything and rubbed my face against his arm, earning another glare from Caleb. I tried to offer him a friendly smile but he just frowned and looked the other way.
Maybe he didn't like that Collin looked exactly like his boyfriend aside from the black sclera which was surrounding his silver iris. It was kind of weird of him to think I'd be interested in Erebus just because they looked similar. They were nothing alike. Collin was kind, loving and I felt a fuzzy warmth spreading through me when I looked at him. Erebus was nothing like that. He was pretending to care but in the end, he had left me to suffer just like everyone else.
"Unless you throw your damn son in prison for what he did to Nael, I am not considering that option." Collin smirked smugly. "I'm also not considering it if you decide to do that but at least I'd have a good laugh."
Erebus clenched his jaw, crossing his hands in front of his chest defensively and I knew he wasn't going to punish Moros for what he had done to me. He was going to get away with everything he had done, every cruel action, every broken bone and every empty promise. I was reduced to feeling helpless again and I hated this feeling. I hated how no one was going to stand by my side, no one cared. Except for Collin. He promised he was going to protect me.
"Did you have to convince Thanatos to come with you?" Erebus asked annoyed. "Are you that selfish?"
"I didn't." Collin scoffed. "Believe it or not. He doesn't like you, he doesn't want to be around you for longer than he has to and moving to another sphere gets him exactly what he wants. Distance."
Erebus looked hurt for a second before his face went back to angry and he scoffed. Caleb looked up at his face before he took his hand into his, bringing it up to his face to rub his face against it. I knew that look. He wanted to make sure his anger wasn't directed at him, that he wasn't going to get hurt if he got close to him and that made me sad. He may dislike me for some reason, think he was better than me but we were the exactly the same.
"You are lying." Erebus snarled, taking a step towards Collin threateningly.
I growled low in my throat and moved forwards to stand in his way. Erebus raised an eyebrow at me but didn't bother to smack me in the head for it and just took a step back. I didn't know if this was just him thinking of me as not worthy of his attention or if he didn't want to hit me because he knew I wouldn't like that and Collin was going to tear him apart for this. Collin seemed highly amused and pulled me back by my tail, so I was partially covered by him again. He gave my tail a squeeze and I started purring loudly, temporarily forgetting about the others.
"Don't pick a fight you can't win." Erebus huffed. "I could crush you like a bug."
Collin stiffened beside me, growling low in his throat and making sure I was safe behind him. I wasn't impressed by Erebus' threats and if I weren't pregnant, I'd happily attack him and scratch his eyes out. Collin on the other hand didn't appreciate how he treated me and went into defensive mode, claws and fangs extended and watching our visitors closely. Caleb seemed highly uncomfortable and Erebus buried his hand inside of his hair which seemed to calm him down.
"How about get the fuck out of my house." Collin snarled angrily. "Now!"
"I..." Erebus tried but Collin wasn't having it.
"No!" He screamed at his face, the outburst making me flinch. "You come here, disturb us while we are building our new life and now you threaten him! Get! The! Fuck! Out!"
Erebus glared at both of us before he touched Caleb's shoulder and teleported off without another word, leaving both of us behind. Collin stood there, still snarling and it took him a few seconds to calm down. He turned around and checked on my face, grabbing my jaw and moving it around until he could be sure I was alright. He, on the other hand, didn't seem to be alright and I took his hands into mine, smiling at him sadly.
"I'm sorry." I apologized.
"It's not your fault." He huffed. "Let's go kill someone."