By the time she got home, Lila felt numb. Her entire walk had consisted her trying to convince herself that this was all just a dream. Maybe it was a pity dinner. Or maybe it was a dare and he was going to go back and make fun of her with Yeosang.
But if it wasn't real then why did her heart hurt so much?
Images of Wooyoung's smile flashed through her mind as she stumbled to the bathroom. Her mind was gone. She didn't even fully recognize where she was or what she was doing.
It had been a long time since she had gone this deep.
Voice started to echo in her mind.
She could hear her boss saying she was a waste of his time.
A man's voice saying she was a burden.
A woman's voice, one that pulled her in, saying she was a mistake and a waste of space.
Lila's hands shook as she yanked open a drawer. She needed this pain to stop. So her body took over, pushing her to a release she hadn't needed in almost five years...
The sunlight lit up her room, causing her to groan when she finally started to stir.
She felt like shit. It was a good thing she didn't need to go into the office today. But she did need to work on her article. Her boss would be expecting it first thing the next day knowing him. He never cared about deadlines.
Opening her eyes slowly, Lila stretched and yawned. She had the overwhelming urge to just stay in bed and not leave it ever again, but something caught her eye that made her sit up.
It all came flooding back to her as she stared at the cuts on her wrists. She couldn't even remember doing it, but the proof was right there. She had finally spiraled low enough...
A numb feeling started to creep over her as she got up to get her first aid kit. She knew better than to leave them untended for long.
Once she had bandages wrapped around her wrists, she pulled out her computer and started translating her notes from the interview.
With the state of mind she was in, see Wooyoung's name and hearing his voice had no effect on her. She put all her focus into using her talent to spin words. This would be the best damn article in the next issue, she was determined to prove her boss wrong.
Lila worked non-stop through lunch. Her phone went off several times that morning, but she just ignored it.
She had just put the finishing touches on her work and saved it to her flash drive when someone pounded on her door several times. Lila jumped and stared at it with wide eyes, placing a hand over her racing heart.
Then she heard a key and the door flew open.
San came bursting inside and his eyes immediately locked on hers. "Where the hell have you been?!" He asked, rushing over to her.
Lila pulled the sleeves of her shirt down quickly. "I've been here all day. Why?"
"I've been trying to get ahold of you." He suddenly looked upset as he glanced down at her phone, laying discarded on the bed. "Really?" He crossed his arms and glared at her.
"Sorry, Sannie. I was working on my article for work." Lila said truthfully, motioning to her laptop.
His eyes suddenly lit up and she knew all was forgiven. "Can I read it?"
"I supposed. Are you still mad at me?" She said with a smirk.
"No." San pulled the laptop to him and started to read.
Sighing, Lila stood and moved to the kitchen. She hadn't eaten anything all day and was suddenly famished. Rummaging through her fridge, she pulled out some bacon and eggs, wanting to just make something simple.
"Lila! This is amazing!" Her friend called from the other room. She smiled and was about to reply when there was another knock at her front door.
She turned to look at it, wondering who on earth it could be. Maybe it was her landlord? She set down the food in her hands and walked over to it.
Peering through her peephole, Lila frowned when she didn't see anyone there. Slowly, she opened the door and her eyes were immediately drown down to the ground.
She gasped and covered her mouth.
"Li? Are you ok?" San's voice came from behind her. "OH! What are those?"
Sitting on the floor outside her apartment was a simple bouquet of a dozen red roses. There was nothing extra added, just the roses. A bow was tied around the white vase and there was an envelope leaning against it.
Lila bent over and slowly picked it up, closing her eyes briefly as the wonderful scent of fresh roses washed over her. It was one of her favorite things.
San was jumping up and down in place, watching her as she took the flowers to her table and sat them down.
Then she just stared at the envelope. Her name was written on it in a beautiful, elegant font.
"Oh open it already! Or I will!" San sat down across from her, tapping his fingers against the table.
Her heart beat faster as she turned it over and broke the seal. She was trying so hard not to get her hopes up. All her senses focused in on the envelope as she pulled out a hand written note. She even forgot that San was there as she started to read.
Lila,
I have rewritten this letter more times than I would like to admit. Finding the words I want to express has been such a challenge for me, so I'm going to try and keep it as simple as possible.
I want to see you again. I want to get to know you.
Last night at Hwa's was one of the best nights of my life. I haven't been able to get you out of my head. The only reason I haven't been calling you nonstop is because Hwa told me not to.
But believe me when I saw that I've wanted to.
I hope that I didn't do anything to upset you. I've been worried sick after how you left last night and I hope you give me a chance to fix it if I did do something wrong.
I know I'm not perfect, and if anything does come of this it won't be easy, but I hope you will give me a chance.
Please.
Yours,
Wooyoung
Lila read through the letter three times before she covered her mouth to hide the wide smile that tore across her face.
Suddenly it was snatched away from her. "Hey!" She cried out, trying to pull it back from San. He started running around the room, reading it out loud. "San! Give it back!"
He stopped when he got to the last couple of lines. Lila ran straight into the back of him and had to wrap and arm around his stomach to keep them both from falling over.
"Ok, spill it! Why is mister drop dead gorgeous sending you roses and a love letter?!" He squealed, spinning around. "And what happened last night? Everything looked fine when we left!"
"Nothing! San, give it back." Lila said, lunging for the piece of paper.
He just used his height against her and held it up out of her reach. "Not until you tell me what's going on!" His eyes seemed to sparkle, already knowing that he would win.
Lila sighed and smiled at the ground, memories of last night bursting through her head. It had been real. How could she be so...
She felt a light pressure on her wrists. In the chaos, her sleeves ad bunched up showing off her bandages and San had noticed. "Li..." He whispered, lifting her hands up to run his thumbs over her wrists. "What happened? You've been doing so good..."
"I know. I just got inside my head last night. I don't even remember doing it Sannie... What's wrong with me?"
He cupped her face in his hands. "Nothing. There is nothing wrong with you. We all have our own inner demons. You know I do to." San pulled her back to the table and slid the letter over to her.
Lila read it again and her heart started to pound. "He really liked me."
"Well I could have told you that. He could hardly keep his eyes off you all night!"
"There's more. I saw him after you left."
"WHAT!" San screeched.
Lila nodded and filled him in on what happened the night before. As she did, she could feel herself turning red at some points, but San never interrupted. Even when she got into her downward spiral when she started thinking about how he wouldn't want to be with her because they came from different worlds.
At the end, he just smiled and asked, "So? What are you going to do?"
"I-"
Lila's phone started to ring. They both turned to look at it. The caller id flashed 'Unknown'.
She glanced at San and he just nodded quickly before stepping out of the room. Her hands shook as she picked up her phone. "Hello?"
"Oh my god you answered." Wooyoung gasped on the other side.
Lila couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "Hi to you, too."
"S-Sorry. I was expecting you to not pick-up after last night. Does this mean you got your flowers?"
"I did. They are beautiful. Thank you." She placed a hand over her racing heart, thankful that he couldn't see how flustered she was right now.
"So are you ok? I was really worried."
Lila bit her lip. She couldn't tell him what really happened. That would turn him away for sure. But there was a partial truth she could tell him. "Yes I'm ok. I... I got scared." She added quietly.
Wooyoung exhaled. She could envision him running his hand through his hair. "I know this is a lot... I'm scared too. But... Ha, I can't even find the words to say right now."
"Well, well. Upcoming actor Jung Wooyoung left speechless." Lila teased. "This has to be a first."
"It is. Can I see you tonight?"
"Yes."
She heard him exhale sharply and she let out a small giggle before slapping her hand to her mouth. "What time can I come over?"
Lila glanced at the clock. It was almost two in the afternoon. "What would be do?"
"It's a surprise." He said. She could hear the smirk in his voice.
"Um, does six work?"
"That's perfect."
"Ok, I'll see you then."
Lila bit her lip, "Wooyoung?" She could hear him suck in a breath. "U-Um... Wh-What should I wear?"
He laughed. It sent chills down her spine. "Just something casual. I'll see you in a few hours." Wooyoung ended the call and Lila moved her phone to hold it to her chest.
San ran into the room a few seconds later, smiling his bright dimply smile. "Did I hear what I think I just heard?"
"Were you eavesdropping on me?" Lila feigned shock. They both laughed, already knowing the answer. Then she looked around her apartment and groaned. Her friend read her mind, as always, and took her hand.
"Let's get this place, and you, cleaned up, shall we?"
"I really don't deserve you, San." She gave him a grateful smile.
"Nope! You really don't." He cackled and went to her stereo. When he found a station the both liked they began to work on cleaning her apartment.
"I owe you big time, Sannie."
"No you don't. Just promise me one thing." He said, coming over to her after finishing cleaning one of her kitchen counters. "You will do everything you can to stop this," San took her wrists in his hands, "From happening again. And you'll also tell him about it."
"But-"
San held up his hand. "Not right away. I know it's a delicate subject. But if things get serious with you two, he deserves to know."
Lila knew he was right. She nodded but didn't say anything.
"Also, if you could put in a good word for me with Yeosang that would be good to." He winked at her before heading to her front door.
"I'll see what I can do." Lila smirked and bade him goodbye.
Then she went to her closet to rummage through her clothes. "Casual, casual, casual. What the hell does that mean?"
In the end, she picked out a shirt with long sleeves and holes for her thumbs to keep her wrists covered. That way she didn't have to worry about her sleeves rolling up again.
Now all she had to do was wait for 6 o'clock to roll around.
Then she would get to see Wooyoung again.