4 years ago
I'm standing - well, pacing really - in a small room with some of the other acts who are currently waiting for their turn to audition. The air in the room is thick with emotion, and it only makes things worse by hearing the loud, deafening sound of the judges hitting their buzzers; nobody wants that to happen.
The crowd slowly whittles down to five acts, and my pacing hasn't helped my nerves, so I finally sit down. Across the room I notice a girl staring out the window, obviously trying to hide he tears in her eyes.
Of course emotions are high, but most people were crying because of nerves. She, however, seems to be crying for fear of not getting through, and I can relate to that, because I know how gutted I would be if I didn't make it.
So I walk over to her.
"Hey," I say in a soft, friendly tone. "Are you okay?"
She quickly wipes her eyes, avoiding looking my way. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just nervous, that's all."
"I think we all are," I say with a laugh, hoping to lighten the mood a bit and get her to smile, but she doesn't. "I'm sure you'll do great."
"Thanks," she says and finally looks up at me. "But why are you being so nice to me? I'm your competition."
I shrug. "If you're a better singer than me, then you're a better singer than me. But we all deserve a chance."
"How are you so calm?" she says, ignoring my previous comment and narrowing her eyes at me slightly.
"I'm not. I've been nervous about this for weeks, but I've accepted the fact that whatever happens... happens."
"Harry Styles," a crew member calls. "The judges are ready to see you."
I look over my shoulder at the woman wearing a headset standing in the doorway and then back to this girl sitting in front of me and sigh. "That's me. Good luck..." I trail off, realizing I haven't learned her name.
"(Y/N)," she says with a weak smile.
"Good luck, (Y/N)."
"You too, Harry."
-
Two weeks later
I'm standing in a different room now, but I still feel the same way I did before my audition. Unfortunately, my nerves resurfaced as I walked out on stage, but I sung my heart out and luckily I got through.
But I couldn't help but wonder if (Y/N) got through, too.
I haven't been able to see any of the other acts since they placed us in our corresponding categories. If I wasn't nervous at my audition, I'm sure as hell am nervous now, because the talent is only getting better. I feel so young and inexperienced compared to these other guys, but I push that thought aside and focus on my song.
"Harry Styles," the same woman from my audition calls and I swallow the lump in my throat as I follow her to the stage.
I'm handed a microphone, and before I have time to settle my nerves, I start singing.
Unfortunately, it works against me and I know my voice is not at it's best.
All I can do now is hope that the judges still put me through.
-
Two hours later and we're all called on stage to find out who moves on to the live shows. I want nothing more than to be one of those people.
We all stand on stage and face Simon as he congratulates us on our success up to this point before he begins to ramble off a list of names.
My heart sinks lower and lower in my chest at each named called that isn't mine. Tears begin to form at the corners of my eyes as my dream is literally being ripped away right in front of me - it literally feels like someone has just punched me in the gut.
Simon pauses before calling the last name, and my heart leaps a little with hope that it could be mine... but it's not, and hot tears begin spilling down my cheeks.
We're all ushered off stage as the next category walks on to find out their results.
After five more names get called, I turn away, unable to watch any more happiness when mine has just been crushed.
When all the names have been called and I'm just about to leave, one of the staff members starts listing off nine names - four girls and five boys.
"Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson, and Harry Styles, the judges want to see you."
I'm sure a look of shock and confusion crosses my face as my throat suddenly becomes dry and my heart begins to beat a little faster, because this could mean anything. I stand on the stage next to these four strangers as we stare intently at the judges sitting at the table in front of us as Nicole begins to speak.
"We just feel that you're too talented to let go of. We think it would be a great idea to have two separate groups."
Then Simon says, "We've decided to put you both through to the judges' houses."
The other right individuals erupt into cheers and I instantly sink to my knees, because I was so close to accepting my fate and going home, but now I'm going to the judges' houses. I may not be going alone, but I'm still going and that's an amazing feeling.
-
After the boys and I introduced ourselves to one another and the initial shock and excitement wore off, all the advancing acts convened backstage to celebrate.
I glance around at the other acts to size up the competition, and I don't know if I feel better about my chances of winning than I did three hours ago.
As I'm looking around the room, I notice a familiar figure in the corner slumped over crying.
(Y/N).
I weave through the crowd, making my way over to her.
"Hey," I say softly, suddenly regretful for bothering her. She probably doesn't want to talk to anyone right now.
Her eyes glance up to see who's standing in front of her but immediately turns away to hide her face in her hands.
"I didn't get through," she says in between sobs, and my heart aches with guilt because I got a second chance and she didn't.
"I'm so sorry, (Y/N). The judges are insane for letting you go. You're way better than some of the acts that actually got through. They're gonna regret sending you home."
She wipes her eyes and looks up at me. "You really think so?"
"Yeah, I saw your audition and you were great - amazing, really."
"Thanks." She smiles wanly. "So, I heard you got put into a group."
I peek over my shoulder at the other boys who are celebrating with the other contestants and it hurts that I can't share my excitement with (Y/N).
"Yeah, I did," I say simply.
"That's great," she says quietly. "I'll be rooting for you guys."
I smile at her before reaching out to grab her hand. "Promise me one thing?"
"Depends what it is."
"Don't give up, okay? You'll get another chance just like I did, but you can't give up singing, you're too good."
"Okay," she says, a hint of a real smile crossing her face. "I promise."
-
Now
"I can't believe we're about to start a stadium tour tonight," Niall says and we all nod in agreement.
None of us can really believe it. Never is our wildest dreams did we ever think that we'd become as successful as we did - let alone sell out stadiums.
It's about three hours until show time and we're waiting for our new opening act to arrive since our last one had to cancel. I have no idea who's about to show up since our tour manager said he'd take care of it, and none of us know who it is.
So we wait.
Not even five minutes later, our opening act walks through the door, and suddenly I feel like I've been transported back in time. I stare at the door in disbelief, unable to trust what my eyes are really seeing. But I know it's real when (Y/N) looks over at me and smiles.
I haven't seen (Y/N) since bootcamp and it's nice to see that she kept her promise and that she's still singing.
"Hello again," she says when she's standing in front of me.
"Hey," is all my brain can come up with for a response. "What are you doing here?"
"Well, I took your advice and I didn't give up. I tried out again, but didn't make it to the live shows, but I kept trying. I made a demo and gave it to anyone who would listen and I got signed last year. And now I'm here."
I smile. "That's great."
"Not as great as you guys, obviously... but, yeah, I'm doing pretty good. Thanks."
She tucks her hair behind her ear nervously, and I can't help but stare as she begins to shift uncomfortably under my gaze. I find it kind of odd, because I know I'd do the same if she was staring at me.
"Just so you know, we have a lot of days off and they can get kind of lonely..."
"I'm sure I'll be fine," she says with a shrug.
"Then you wouldn't mind if I spent time with you?"
She seems surprised by my suggestion, but then her expression softens and she smiles. "Sure."