Ella was on the deck, looking at the horizon, with her eyes not seeing anything. She let out a breath and she prepared to move along the guardrail. But then she noted David was moving toward her. She swore quietly. Perfect, she thought with sarcasm, just perfect. She had hoped she could stay out here for the rest of the trip. She moved back to stand against the guardrail, hoping to use it to prop her up.
"Everything ok?" David said as he came to stand beside her. He put his hands into his pockets and came closer to the guardrail. The fact that his brother knew there was more to this and he remembered Jack's advice, to be honest. So he had to take time to bank his irritation because Amelia's conversation still rattled him.
"Yes." Ella responded in smothered exasperation. She turned around to face the water. It was a gorgeous day, sunny with just a whisper of wind. But that gorgeous day was going to vanish given her companion.
Keep it natural, David advised himself. "Something caught your eye?" He looked over the scene, tracked her gaze to see what exactly had taken her attention.
"I thought there were dolphins." She wasn't sure if there any dolphins around, but she had been told that you could see dolphins on this ferry trip and she just needed a reason to stay outside. Albeit, it would be better if she were out here on her own and she wasn't on this journey.
"Sometimes you can see dolphins on this route." David heard that announcement just before he stepped out of the lounge. "Not sure if they are here, at the moment. I just heard on the ferry tannoy, they normally see dolphins around this area, but apparently they couldn't see any." He braced his forearms on the guardrails, and scanned the scene. Yup, no sign of dolphins. He added, "But I saw an albatross as I came onto the deck." He looked over his head, shaded his eyes and scanned the sky.
"Yes, I saw that too." She nodded while her heartbeat escalated while her mind spiralled into chaos. Now what, she wondered. She wasn't sure if he was trying to avoid talking about that kiss, just like her.
Banal conversation. Just trite conversation.
But the kiss was now firmly planted in her mind. And to avoid focussing on that, she said quickly, "It really is a lovely day."
He added dryly, "Yeah." He stopped scanning the sky, lowered his gaze and glanced at her when he heard her tone. Not exactly excitement, just a touch too dynamic and really brittle. Yes, of course it was a lovely day, but just a normal, sunny day.
Ella carried on with her topic. "Perfect for this crossing." Her eyes scanned the horizon as she searched her mind for more trite statements. "Stunning." Her mind was still scrambling for pedestrian topics. Or even better, if she could find something to put him off, something to stop this tête-à-tête. At least at the town, she could avoid him: cross the road, turn around, pop into a shop, start a new conversation with anyone passing by. Here, she would have to talk to him. If she went back inside, she would have to talk to him, albeit with Amelia and Jack. If she wandered around the ferry, no doubt, Amelia would send Jack and David to find her.
"Yeah." He murmured, his eyes remained on her. How do you brace for a conversation that will no doubt result in fireworks?
"Will it remain calm?" She maintained the pedestrian exchange. Predictable: Nothing to do with any personal issues. Talk about the weather and the conditions for this journey. But she had not found a topic to put him off. A gust of wind rifled through her hair leaving it in disarray. A bit like her mind and her heart. She'd pulled her hair off her face restoring order but she wasn't sure what to do about the panic in her heart and the confusion in her head.
"Calm?" His mind was anything but calm, he thought as he watched her fingers combed through her hair to hold her hair down. He came out here to talk to her, had rehearsed his talk after his conversation with Amelia and Jack, and on his way over, he had lost the thread of his argument when he recognised the fact he was jealous of her running her fingers through her hair!
"This crossing. It looks calm. It feels calm." Her voice was measured as she attempted to regulate her heartbeat.
"Yeah. Pretty calm." He scanned the horizon. Where is Picton? At least another three hours to go. Having a strained relationship, you can manage it, at a town. But you can't avoid that stress if you are stranded on a ferry with someone and that you have to pretend to be a couple. Even worse, if you really like the person and the person doesn't reciprocates.
Seconds ticked. Was he going to leave, Ella wondered. Come up with a reason to move on, she tried telepathy. Obviously her attempt at mind-control was a failure. Because he remained at the guardrail, close to her, and nothing in his body language suggested he was going to leave.
"You don't have to stay with me." Ella mumbled given that telepathy was obviously just fiction. "I am happy to stay outside, I have never been on the interisland ferry."
"Never." David's eyes rounded in shock and looked over at her. "Really? You haven't been on the ferry even when you were little?"
"This my first." She said. Then wished she hadn't chosen those particular words. He was her first love. What was the matter with her? She was a level-headed woman.
Silence again. For a few seconds neither said anything.
Their hands remained on the railing, their eyes now focused on the horizon.
David picked up the conversation again, "Good to see you have sea legs." David added with a grin. "Ben has no sea legs! Anything swell over one inch and he would retch!"
Ella looked over at David and shook her head in remonstration. "I am sure that Ben would not be happy to hear that you have thrashed his reputation."
"Will you tell him?" He queried with a smile in his voice, his tone nearly teasing.
"Tell him?" She looked across at David and then wished she hadn't. He was too close. Her heart was in her mouth.
"I only told you about Ben." Something about this conversation reminded him about their first conversation. The camaraderie, the closeness, the affinity. "He would only hear it from you." David met her gaze. He could see that she was about to tell him to move away. Time to start on this difficult conversation before she dispatched him. "Er, I wanted to say sorry."
"What?" What happened to their hackneyed discussion?
"About taking advantage of you, you know, with that kiss."
"Oh." There goes the clichéd conversation.
"When I started, you know with the kiss, my intention was to plant a platonic kiss on your lips."
Ella remembered that fumble, the kiss was on the corner of her lips. "Oh, ok." Ella then tacked on, "Yes, I meant to say, yes." That was not true. "You know, that kiss on my lips was a pretend-kiss, kind of platonic..." She petered out when that kiss brought up other feelings
David took another breath and then said, "Perhaps. But the kiss escalated when I moved to your earlobe!" He saw Ella's cheeks flushed with colour. David smiled and added, "Jack said to be honest."
"Oh?" Ella blinked. Did David tell Jack and Amelia about that kiss? "Honest?"
David all but gulped before he said, "Yes. So, if I am going to be honest" He looked directly at Ella and muttered, "I wasn't expecting that feeling."
"What feeling?" Ella blinked again as her heart started to race.
"As if my world was spinning out of control." Came the direct, frank and truthful reply.
Ella blinked at his candour.
"Did you feel that?" He asked softly.
She had learnt the art of answering questions without giving too much away but Ella closed her eyes, took a micro second, gulped, and then opened her eyes, and said quietly, "Yes." She was reserved through years of conditioning but she found herself being open. She normally kept her feelings and thoughts to herself.
The tension evaporated. Only to be replaced by a different type of tension.