Holding Back [COMPLETED]

By joymoment

974K 72.2K 65.6K

"I love how this book is turning out!😍 Not cliche at all!" - i_hatecliche "We might live next door to each o... More

Cast List
Worst Author's Note Ever
Chapter 1 - "You want me to give you a lift?"
Chapter 2 - "You're not special."
Chapter 3 - "What's wrong with being alone?"
Chapter 4 - "In case you're wondering, it's for drug running."
Chapter 5 - "No promises."
Chapter 6 - "Did you just say you'll talk to the nail?"
Chapter 7 - "Tempting, but I'll pass."
Chapter 8 - "Why did you come over?"
Chapter 9 - "Ummm...where's dad?"
Chapter 10 - "Cal, ninjas! Hide!"
Chapter 11 - "Can you give me a ride home?"
Chapter 12 - "Now you're the one flirting with me."
Chapter 13 - "Thanks for being my alarm."
Chapter 14 - "You two are great together."
Chapter 15 - "Oh my gosh, who freaking cares?"
Chapter 16 - "We're not dating."
Chapter 17 - "I promise I won't leave."
Chapter 18 - "I see you, Haley Day."
Chapter 19 - "I might have to take you up on that offer sometime."
Chapter 20 - "What can I say I'm full of surprises."
Chapter 21 - "Are you happy, Haley Day?"
Chapter 22 - "What they say isn't true."
Chapter 23 - "Why did you ask me to come over?"
Chapter 24 - "Why were you even drinking?"
Chapter 25 - "No, I'm fine."
Chapter 26 - "I don't want to drown myself in ice cream."
Chapter 27 - "It's a bit of a cliché, right?"
Chapter 28 - "Why didn't you invite me?"
Chapter 29 - "I'm still yours."
Chapter 30 - "You flashed us earlier. I'm guessing that counts."
Chapter 31 - "Ha! I knew I was your source of happiness."
Chapter 32 - "I think you'd look good in anything."
Chapter 33 - "I knew you only liked me for my body."
Chapter 34 - "I did warn you."
Chapter 35 - "You're still on to man the kissing booth, correct?"
Chapter 36 - "The kissing booth."
Chapter 37 - "Is this where I get a free kiss?"
Chapter 38 - "I don't want to talk."
Chapter 39 - "Why do you care?"
Chapter 40 - "Is there anything I can do?"
Chapter 41 - "Why are you lying?"
Chapter 42 - "We fix Haley Day's broken heart."
My Heart Is Yours
Epilogue
Haley Meets Carter
Six Years Later

Chapter 43 - "There's the Haley Day I know."

17.4K 1.4K 2.4K
By joymoment

The ceiling offered very little in the form of entertainment but still, Haley stared at it, stretched out across her bed. Music swirled in her ears, the melody bouncy, the embodiment of cheeriness, though Haley couldn't completely harmonize with the emotion. Still, the song kept her from sinking lower. Beyond the song, she heard a faint plink. Knowing the sound well by now, she removed her headphones and rolled off the mattress.

The house was quiet around her, her mother working, father at work, and Matt already left to meet up with friends before the night. On the evening air, the smell of grilled meat and laughter floated about. But that was not what Haley noticed as she opened her balcony door.

Instead, it was Jace holding a bag of M&Ms. His hair was damp and parts of his arms hadn't been completely dry.

"Why did you call?" she asked.

Jace tossed up a blue candy and caught it in his mouth, chewing as he talked. "Cause we only have an hour to prom and you didn't look like you were getting ready."

Letting out a slow breath, Haley leaned on the doorframe.

"That's cause I'm not sure I want to go."

Jace let the M&M he had thrown up into the air fall without catching it.

"What? Haley Day, you can't skip prom it's the night of our lives!"

Haley just cocked her head at him. "Not according to Ty, it isn't."

"Okay, it's not but come on. It's a night where you get to hang out with friends and dance. Not life-changing but fun."

Knowing how pathetic she would sound for saying it, but needing to say it anyways, Haley said. "Isaac asked me to go with him then when he got mad the first time he said to forget it."

Jace scoffed. "Isaac smIsaac, go for yourself. You got a dress, right?"

Haley thought of the dress both Josie and Ty had picked out for her and nodded.

"There you go, get dressed, look good and rub it in his face that you're hot and he can't have you."

This teased a smile out of her. "So girl power?"

He pointed at her, serious. "Exactly girl power."

For a moment, Haley debated whether she wanted to go. Thinking over all the effort she had seen Rachel and the Council put into making prom even happen made her decision for her.

"Okay," she said.

Jace threw a fist into the air. "There's the Haley Day I know."

She laughed, shaking her head. "What about you? Are you going to pick up your date?"

Jace leaned against the railing, the shifting light falling over his shoulders.

"No. As you know I asked Josie. Thinking I was asking cause she was close by, she said no. But I will show up alone and she will see that I was serious."

Haley studied him, her brows inching together with curiosity. "You really like her, don't you?"

The edge of his mouth curled. "She's opinionated, argumentative, frustrating, brilliant and beautiful, yeah I like her."

The certainty in which he said this made Haley strangely happy.

"When did you start liking her? Was it these past weeks working on the project."

Jace shook his head, then ran a hand through his damp hair making it stick out.

"No, I've liked her for the past...three months I think."

Haley's eyes widened. "What? Really? Why didn't you do anything?"

The distant look in Jace's eyes told of a mess of thoughts. Sensing a story, Haley tucked her hands behind her, ready to hear it.

"Josie is not someone you simply ask out," he said. "I've seen her turn down enough guys to know she hates the ones that don't take time to actually know her and only ask her out because they think she's hot." He shrugged. "I also know that with what most people think of me she would say no without even waiting for me to finish. That's why I have spent the last three months becoming her friend so she knows the rumors aren't true."

"You friend-zoned yourself?"

Jace held up his index finger. "Yes, with the clear intent of also getting myself out of the friend-zone."

"Risky move, she might still turn you down and that means you wasted three months for nothing."

Jace shook his head, grinning to himself. "No, it's not because now I have someone amazing that I get to call a friend however this turns out."

"Jace."

He lifted his head, meeting her gaze, eyebrows raised in question.

"I hope it works out."

"Yeah, me too. Now go get dressed." He straightened. "Do you want me to give you a ride?"

The question threw Haley back to the first time he had offered. Imaging the pair they were then to now made her smile.

"I'll take that smile as a yes. We leave in an hour. My dad said I can take the Cadillac." He took a step back towards his room. "Also eat before you get dressed or you will regret it."

"Personal experience."

"Ten female cousins, Haley Day, ten!"

He spun around but before he disappeared back into his room, Haley called out to him.

"What made you like Josie after all the time you've known her."

A grin spread across Jace's face making him look almost boyish. "She called me out for being annoying once. Spoke completely in Spanish. Hottest thing ever."

Haley laughed as he walked away. Taking his advice, she ate something then took a shower. As she stood in front of the mirror, her hair wet and wearing a pair of ratty shorts and a t-shirt, she realized she had no idea what to do. Stressing for a moment, she left the bathroom and went downstairs. In the dining room, she found her mother, work laid out around her on the table.

"Mom?"

Her mother glanced up. "What's up, sweetheart?"

Self-conscious, Haley held out her hands then dropped them. "Can you help me get ready for prom?"

Beaming, her mother rose. "What do you want to do?"

"I have no idea."

Her mother hugged Haley's shoulders and gave them a quick squeeze. "All right, we'll go with something simple. Do you want makeup? I can make it look natural."

"Sure."

As her mother helped Haley get ready, she shared more stories about her own prom, about the hot pink dress she had worn and the moments that were snapshots in her mind. More than enjoying the stories, Haley loved seeing the happy smile on her mother's face, hoping that one day it could be as prominent as it looked in that moment.

"You're done! Take a look," her mother said.

Pressing her hands down the front of her dress, Haley stepped in front of her parent's full-length mirror. What she saw made her smile. She looked hardly any different than most days. Her hair was pulled up into a simple french twist and her makeup subtly highlighted her features without turning her into a glamorized version of someone else. She still looked like herself.

She spun once, enjoying the way the dress fanned out around her. When she faced her mother, her smile felt almost too big to contain, for it was filled with a happiness of capturing a moment.

"Thank you," she said.

Her mother gently kissed her head as to not disturb her hair.

"I'm glad you asked me." She held onto Haley's arms. "Now, have fun, stay safe and know that saying no is not a crime but a wise decision."

"Got it."

As Haley went to grab her phone, her mother made a small exclamation.

"Oh! We have to take a picture, then you can send it to Lettie and show her. I know you two always talked about this day, it's a pity she's not here."

At the thought, Haley paused. Gathering herself, she allowed her mother to take one picture. Staring at the photo, she hesitated, feeling all the time that had slipped away without a word from her friend. Along with those thoughts were the memories of Lettie planning how they would go all out for their prom, wearing dresses that were overly dramatic and making the most of the night. Stealing herself, she typed out a message.

"It's not as dramatic as we had planned it but without you, I'm not sure I would have the guts to be over the top. I'm bummed you're not here."

Before she could question it, she sent it on. Getting everything she needed, she headed for the door. It opened and her father walked in. When he saw Haley dressed up, he stopped, blinking like he couldn't believe his eyes.

"You're beautiful, kiddo."

"Thanks, dad. Is that lawyer from New York going to be able to help?"

Her father smiled tiredly. "I believe so. Still far from getting back to where we were but it's a step closer."

"I'm glad."

Her father kissed her forehead. "Have a good time."

As Haley reached for the door, her phone dinged. She glanced at the screen and couldn't stop the amazed smile that spread across her lips at the message from Lettie.

"Haley Day! I'm the worst and I know it! I'm sorry I've missed so much but I have to say I'm proud that you haven't hidden yourself away because I left. Though the dress isn't dramatic it looks like you and I think that is even better! If I ever get a chance to breathe in this mathematical madness I'll call. You look great, now go dance up a storm for the two of us!"

Haley read it twice before she slipped out of the house, feeling a sense of relief mixed with hope. Knowing Lettie, that call might never come but it didn't matter anymore, Haley wasn't alone. The proof of this lay next door.

Jace stood in front of his house, waving his mother off. "Mamá, basta! You've already taken enough pictures."

"But mijo, you look so cute."

Jace rolled his eyes as his mother laughed. As Haley approached, Jace glanced over, his mild annoyance transforming into a pleased look.

"Looking good, Haley Day," he said.

Haley could say the same for him. He wore a charcoal suit with a maroon tie.

"Likewise," she said, feeling lighter than ever.

In response, Jace crossed his ankles and made a smooth turn, holding the edge of the jacket out.

"Classy," she said.

Jace's mother waved Haley closer.

"Haley, stand beside Jace and I'll get a photo," she said.

Jace shot her an annoyed scowl. "No, you have enough."

"Just one and then you can leave."

Grumbling, Jace wrapped an arm around Haley's shoulders, pulling her close. In return, she took hold of his side. Though the pose was almost intimate, it felt comfortable like hugging a friend close.

"Smile!"

"This is my smile," Jace said.

"That is a pout and you know it."

Haley poked Jace's side, making him laugh. The photo was taken and they were released. In the car, Jace kept up an endless stream of mindless chatter that helped keep Haley's reappearing nerves at bay.

When they pulled into the parking lot of the Whitley hotel, they saw a river of students all dressed to the nines converging on the front doors. As Haley climbed out of the car, she felt a bubble of apprehension rise in her chest. Taking in a deep breath, she did her best to suppress the feeling.

Inside the ballroom, silver and blue streamers hung crisscrossed from the ceiling. Clusters of balloons formed trees in methodically arranged positions. Tables with blue tablecloths filled up half the space while the other was taken up with a dance floor. At the heart of each table were centerpieces that looked like silver and blue firework explosions. One a far side of the room was a table laid out with every dessert that could fit on a small plate. Even over the tangle of perfumes and colognes, Haley could smell the sweetness of melted chocolate.

Despite the upbeat music, most of the room's occupants were on the sidelines, taking photos and talking with their friends while glancing at screens. Haley wanted to laugh, take away the fancy dresses and it would be an average high school party.

As Haley scanned the crowd, Rachel and Nick passed by, his tie perfectly matching her dress.

"Rachel," Haley said, stopping them.

The couple halted.

"Congrats, the place looks amazing," Haley said.

Rachel let out a breath, smiling though the look was tired.

"Thanks, it was crazy but hey we got it done. Now, all there is left to do is enjoy it."

"Exactly," Nick said. "So let's dance."

Before he could tug Rachel away, she spun back. "Afterparty at my house, you both can come, right?"

Haley opened her mouth, not sure what was going to come out but Jace answered for them both.

"Of course we'll be there."

With a final smile, Rachel was led away. A second later, Ty and Josie broke away from a group and walked over. In the time it took them to cross the distance, Haley noticed as Josie's gaze cut between the pair, analyzing their arrival together and the gap between them. In that same instance, Haley was aware of how Jace was able to fully appreciate the way the red dress looked on Josie.

"You two come together?" Josie asked, her voice betraying nothing.

"Only in the sense that I drove her here," Jace said.

This got a raised eyebrow from Josie. "So where's your date?"

"I don't have one. I came stag."

At this declaration, Josie crossed her arms, looking Jace up and down.

"Let me guess, you did that so I would know that you had been serious about your offer to be my date and be swayed by your commitment."

Jace displayed a wide grin. "Is it working?"

She rolled her eyes, annoyed. "Yes."

Jace held out his elbow to her. "Shall we?"

Shaking her head but wearing a smile, Josie took his arm. The two of them cut through the stasis throng - stopping briefly so Jace could toss aside his jacket - to the mostly empty dance floor. Completely uncaring about the eyes that watched them, they danced matching each other's energy. The pair moved so well that it pulled others into joining.

"What do you think?" Ty asked, nudging Haley's arm.

Gazing around the decorations that were elegant but simple and the majority of the room that was still focused on their phones, Haley held her hands dramatically to her heart.

"Like this is a night that will change my life forever," she said.

Ty burst out laughing. "That's what I thought."

When Ty's gaze drifted from Haley to something just past her shoulder, Haley looked back. Isaac was standing in the entrance, his eyes trained on her. Haley's stomach did a funny flip at the sight of him with his hair combed back, and dressed in a blue shirt and black pants.

"I'm off to find a man to dance with," Ty said. "It seems you already have yours."

Before Haley could beg Ty to stay, the girl had vanished into the crowd. As Isaac made his way over to Haley, she felt her heart stutter and her feet fail to listen to the screaming command from her brain to run away.

When he was only a couple feet away, he stopped. Despite what she had expected, he didn't look hurt. All the emotions that had been so common on his face that week were gone. In their place was a nervous, bashfulness.

"Uh...hey," he said.

Haley swallowed, trying to not to like the way he looked.

"Hi," she said, the word coming out in a strained tone.

Isaac shifted and ran a hand through his hair. With the motion Haley noticed the black dog hairs sticking to his cuffs. She fought the image of Isaac crouched before Cal, petting him goodbye before leaving, but the scene was too vivid to push away.

"Look," he said. "Jace called me."

This surprised Haley. "Oh?"

Isaac nodded, the corner of his mouth tugging upwards. "You have a good lawyer, he got you an appeal."

The return of the prison joke made Haley's heart squirm in delight.

"Oh, yeah? What's the verdict?"

Isaac's smile grew. "You're cleared of all charges and I'm an idiot."

Haley laughed, the last piece of her cracked heart getting sewn back together. Isaac beamed, but then his smile diminished.

"He told me the whole story and Haley, I'm so sorry. I should have listened instead of jumping to conclusions." He breathed out. "He also explained everything you've been going through...with your parents and...I feel like an idiot. I should have asked or known what was happening-"

Haley put her hand on his arm, stalling the rest of his words.

"You had no reason to know. I never told you," she said.

"No, but you made a comment about it at my house and I ignored it and I'm sorry."

Haley took a step towards him. "Isaac, I wasn't ready to share, so it's not your fault. The only reason Jace even knows is cause he lives next door. He had an advantage. I don't blame you for not knowing everything going on in my life." She lifted one shoulder. "Also I liked that you didn't know all the things in my life. It meant that I would have time to tell you myself."

"If I hadn't messed things up, would you have?"

The question made Haley pause, trying to imagine if she would have shared the broken parts of herself. At the attentive look in Isaac's face, she nodded once.

"Yeah, I believe I would. Not right away, but eventually." She shrugged again. "Now you know though so that means there are other things I get to share with you."

Isaac's face lightened with hope and excitement. "You still want to?"

In answer, she laced her fingers through his. The feeling was so strange, a mix of new and familiar as if she had always done this. He squeezed her hand back.

"You look beautiful," he said.

A giddy sensation raced through her veins.

"Thanks. I like your choice in shirts." As he grinned, Haley took his wrist and lifted it, showing the cuff. "I also fully approve of your accessories."

Seeing the evidence of Cal, Isaac roughly brushed at it trying to get it off.

"I didn't even realize," he said, ducking his head in embarrassment.

Haley took back his hand, stopping his frantic motion.

"I think it makes you look cute," she said.

This raised Isaac's head. "Yeah?"

She nodded. Isaac's hold on her hand tightened slightly as if confirming that it was still there.

"Will you dance with me, Haley?" he asked.

"Sure, but I suck at dancing. You can even ask Jace."

Isaac's shoulders relaxed and he let out a relieved breath.

"Good, I can't dance either."

"Then we will be two idiots bouncing around."

Laughing, Isaac guided her into the thick cluster of moving bodies.

The night was as Ty predicted and Haley's mother had described her own, full of fun snapshots that would remain with Haley: Jace and Josie trying to salsa to a pop song.

Ty in a dance-off with Jace.

Rachel and Nick failing to accept their Junior prom King and Queen crowns because they were in a corner asleep, Rachel's head on Nick's shoulder.

Josie winning against Haley on how many brownie cubes could be shoved in their mouths.

Isaac with his sleeves rolled up, slow dancing with Haley.

The night ending at Rachel's house, shoes discarded and couples and friends all splayed out on couches and floors, eating and watching a movie.

The group Haley had gotten to know finding themselves on the pool's edge, their feet dangling in the water.

It was a moment that was so simple yet so perfect. The canvas of stars glittered above them. The faint sound of the movie drifted out from the patio doorway. The air tinged with the scent of grass and chlorine. The companionable conversations that said nothing but meant so much.

When Isaac took Haley's hand, she rested her head on his shoulder and gazed at the group around her. These people who were so different than she could have ever imagined from her lone tree.

Not a perfect couple, but one who faced struggles together.

Not an uptight mayor's daughter, but a girl who was determined and strong enough to smile even when life was hard.

Not two fangirls but two brilliant students who psychoanalyzed the world around them.

Not an average teenage boy but an astronomer with a talent for rapping lyrics.

Not a player but a boy who genuinely cared for the happiness of the people around him.

Haley smiled to herself.

Not an isolated observer who knew everything, but a girl who had been wrong about so much and because of it had never been happier.

**********************************************************************

🎊🎉 HOORAY!! 🎊🎉

We made it!!! Finally we have come to the end go your journey! (Well almost, there is an epilogue) So now that we have let's hear all your thoughts!
👉🕳👈

Gotta say this was such an interesting story to write because there were so many times when Haley pissed me off and I've never actually had that with a character before. But! She grew, learned how to be happy and accept friendship so that is all that matters.

Okay, I want to hear you're final thoughts!

Something that completely surprised you?

Favorite character?

Favorite moment?

For me, it was Jace turning out to be the complete softie that he was. Jace is tied with Cal for favorite characters. And my favorite moment was when Haley realized that the world really wasn't what it seemed.

I can not thank you enough for hanging in there with me, for trusting me, and not bailing when it looked like nothing was ever going to be happy again! You're wonderful and I love you!

Before you dash off to adventures unknown vote for Haley Day's happiness, comment on how life is never what it seems, and follow a path that is true!

Now! To close us out is this cutie!

Also you should have known that she was going to end up with Isaac cause I literally only posted pictures of cats and dogs in glasses and Isaac wears glasses! The signs were all there!

Also here is a collage by leavemealone_007 that sums up the book!

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