" To home" Akshay commanded to driver.He has to attend birthday celebration of Akshita in a week. Her gift isn't finalized till now. Its her first birthday with him. He wanted to give something special. He has confidence that he will find something special soon. Actual challenge is Smita. He don't know how to face her. He hasn't figure out what he wants. Akshay opened the questionnaire given by Vaibhav two days ago. He was stuck in vicious circle of do and don't. He can't pinpoint what he wants so he returned again to consult him.
"Hello doctor"
"Hello Akshay."Vaibhav replied offering him fruit salad.
" You carry on. I don't have desire to eat it. "Akshay replied.
" You should try it. It have various flavour like sweet, tangy, sour just like our life. "He insisted and Akshay take some.
" So you decided what you want to do? "
" No, I am confused more than ever. "
" Hmm"
"You won't say anything" Vaibhav's response disappointed Akshay
"What can I say? You are not ready to ask crucial questions to yourself."
"I am ready more than ever."
Vaibhav handed him a series of questions and Akshay didn't liked the question.
"This is about se... sex?
" What is wrong in that. "
" We didn't supposed to discuss it. "
" Why we didn't supposed to discuss it. "Vaibhav rose his brows.
" Because intimacy is a personal thing and it should remain between the four walls.
" That is where everyone grew physically and mentally healthy. That is ideal scenario, far from the reality."
"You are right." Akshay sighed.
"Its a natural thing like thirst & hungar. Akshay nothing is wrong in it. Girls were taught sex is bad thing and should be avoided at any cost. Later the same girl enter in marriage with so many reservation. On the other hand boys weren't taught so they act on their impulse. We often ignore this but intimacy makes husband and wife's relationship special. You can go outing with others. You can go with others to eat your favorite dinner. You can plan a trip without your spouse.You can enjoy a hobby with others but you can't enjoy intimacy with others. Its forbidden. "Vaibhav said to ease him. Like he predicted Akshay hasn't intrupted him. He was listening everything carefully,grasping his each and every word.
" You know we discuss everything but left the crucial conversation. Its necessary for both partners to be sexually satisfied with each other. May be they suppressed it for some time but it won't last forever. Some point of time there will be someone who may be able to satisfied that need and that would be final nail in the coffin. " Vaibhav continued after getting his calm response.
" So other factors doesn't have any importance? "
" like? "Vaibhav put his hand on table.
" like trust, friendship, love, understanding. "
" Other factors have its own importance but... Just imagine you have a carving to eat pizza. You were not allowed to eat it. One day you succeed in eating. You will repeat the route. Same is with sexual desire. You suppress it but one day you get a way to satisfied that desire . You felt so good, you felt relieved. That desire will return from time to time. You will start taking action to get things done. Initially there will be guilt but overwhelming feelings will replaced that guilt . One day that other person will become more important than your significant other. "
" How can its possible? "
" Its possible and happening all the time. For some people its physical need, for others its emotional connection. When expectations doesn't met, eyes starts wandering around. "
" You are scaring me towards relationship. "
" I am not scaring you but disclosing reality. Relationship needs lots of efforts from both sides. There is no short cut or magic stick but if you are with right person its worth it. "
" I never think like that. Thank you so much for clarifying things doc. "
" Its my job Akshay. You are my patient with reservation of intimacy. Its my duty to put forth facts infront of you. "
" So all couples are se.. sexually compatible? "Akshay's voice stuttered. Its not comfortable to talk about this although everyone do it.
" No, all are not compatible. Many incompatible with each other but forced to live with each other. Some compromise with their situation and live there life, others opted to have a lover beside spouse."
"I don't want any of this situation. I don't want to have lover nor expected from my spouse to have that. My father's mistressess have toll on my emotional health. I don't want history to repeat itself." Akshay said firmly.
"Than ask yourself some crucial questions before coming to any conclusion. May be you won't like my questionnaire but its necessary.
Ask yourself what you feel about her? When you get answers, ask her same things?
" Will she be okay with that route? "
"Its your job to do it either in one way or the other . There is other way too except direct question answer. If you are sure take that route." Vaibhav hinted him.
Driver hastily puts break on the vehicle and bring him back to reality. He read the questions again and tried to answer them
1)what you feel about her?
I really liked her company in past. Some of the best time of my life I spent with her. Her presence makes atmosphere light. I felt comfortable with her.
2)Life without her?
I spent five years without her but...
He was unable to pinpoint the exact answer so he moves ahead.
3)Did her presence ever make you turned on?
Yes, it happened once when we were married. She wore white shiffon sari at that. Her hairs were opened fully.She hadn't applied heavy makeup as we had to attend a small gathering. On the way to home our car stopped suddenly. She insisted to walk instead of calling another car. After walking few meters its start raining. She keep walking unfetched with the rain. Her clothes were clings to her curves. It looked like to second skin. That was the first time I felt something is alive between my legs.
4)Can you ravish her in the bed?
Akshay didn't have answer to this question. Lust hasn't clouded him. His encounter with her is limited. He was obliged to fulfill her desires. He did not know he can ravish her or not.
5)are you comfortable to listen her sexual desire and share yours with her? Do you have courage to act on that desire?
I am ready to listen her desire and probably act on it. But what is my desires? Do I have any sexual preference? Akshay never asked this question to himself. The subject itself is very uncomfortable to him but he need to figure out things. He will find out what is okay for him and what not. He can't live his whole life like this. An active volcano who can erupt at any time.
There is knock on the window and he rolled it.
"we have arrived sir." driver opened the door and he came out.
The hallway is very well lit, there is faint sounds from the living room. His lips twitched upwards and speed hastens. He can feel her arrival which lighten his dark world.
A cartoon film was running on the LCD,muffins were placed on the table. Her school bag was lying near sofa and both her shoes were on different corner of room. On the couch his princess was sleeping in her school uniform. He went near to her. Half piece of muffin is in her fist. It felt she slept while eating the food. There is some trace of food on the corner of her lips. He wipes her lips carefully than removed her socks. He took her in his arms and went to her room.
He placed her on the bed gently,set the temperature of airconditioner and cover her with duvet. He caressed her for sometime than kissed on her forehead. He did not realise he spent half hour without doing anything. He just sat near her, admiring her adorable features.
He returned to his room and changed into sweatpants and T shirt. He was moving to bed for a nap when there is knock on the door.
"come in."
"Father."there is faint voice from the doorstep.
He immediately ran towards the door." Yes princess "he kneeled to her height. She hold his hand, leading him to living room. Akshay followed her lead. She sat on the floor and opened her bag. She brought out a trophy and showed him.
" Winner of the fancy dress competition "written on the trophy with date.
" It happened last week? "he asked and she nodded.
" You hadn't invited me to witness it princess . "
" You come? "she asked in broken sentence.
" I'll always come whenever you call me princess. "Akshay said and she hugged him tightly.