The bathroom is dead quiet. Neither of us say anything. I don't even think I'm breathing. It's like my whole body is vibrating as I struggle to contain myself.
All I see is red.
"That's not what I heard."
I can't stop thinking about that first day back to school when we were all gathered around Frank in the parking lot. I listened to his story. I laughed at his story. I fucking high-fived him.
I've never wanted to hurt someone so much in my life.
Kenedi refuses to look at me; her eyes are far away as she stares at the shower curtain. Tears roll down her cheeks, but she makes no effort to wipe them off. The chest of my old t-shirt is soaked as the tears drip off her chin and absorb into the fabric.
"I try not to think about what happened," she sniffles. "The girls took me to the hospital to have a drug test and rape kit done, but by the time I got there whatever I was drugged with was already out of my system."
She pauses for a few moments before she whispers, "and luckily they didn't find any evidence of penetration."
I can't force anymore words out. To think that I laughed along at the story Frank told of "Sex-Crazed Killer" trapping him in a bedroom and trying to force herself onto him. I mean, I didn't really believe that's what happened in the first place, but I never would have guessed Frank did this.
"I'm gonna kill him."
"There's no point."
"I don't care. I'm gonna kill him."
"Jude, there's no point. I'm not asking for you to save me. I'm not telling you this so you'll run off and make everything all better." Kenedi reaches for my hand tentatively, her fingers grazing my wrist before she draws back and wraps that arm around herself. "I don't want your pity. I just wanted you to know the full story."
She just stands there, holding herself together.
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help her in this situation. All I can think of is how much I failed her; and how I can never let anything like this happen again.
I gently pull Keni down onto my lap. She follows reluctantly, her body sagging into my embrace.
"I know I can't run off and make everything all better." I sigh, my hand tracing up and down her thigh as I think about what I can do for her. "I appreciate you trusting me enough to tell me this. And I'm always going to be here for you from now on."
She doesn't respond. My words bounce around the room, eventually wedging themselves between us as I try to figure out what we should do next. "You want to lay down and watch a movie?"
Kenedi leans back to look at me for a moment. Her eyes never leave mine as she blindly reaches out to grab the bandage sitting on the counter; she opens it before gently placing it on my forehead to cover my cut.
Why is my heart pounding so hard?
I want to tell her thank you, but all I can do is stare at her. Even when her eyes are red, and there's a little snot dripping out of her nose she's beautiful. All I want is—
"Do you have ice cream?" Her question startles me out of my thoughts.
"Come on," I smile broadly before I kiss her shoulder preparing to stand up and head to the kitchen. "I think we might even have some cake, too."