{Picture of Eleanor's Dress Above}
I stood there, my back to his. There was nothing but pure silence between us. I wouldn't dare turn to face him. I didn't want to see him. Seeing those piercing blue eyes that would make me melt from the inside out and kill me where I stood. So, I stood there with my back to him. Of course he wouldn't allow me to stand there like that for too long. He would eventually say something that would force me to turn around and then I'd have to face my past. The past I desperately tried to forget. Not because I wanted to, but because I needed to. I needed to forget him. Everything about him was etched into my mind, my body and unfortunately my soul as well. He lived within the depths of my heart. I loved him with everything I had. And when he left a year ago... He broke me. My heart and soul. So I stood there. With my back to him. My body trembled in anticipation of hearing his voice. My heart was beating so fast, my chest began to hurt as it rose and fell with every deep breath I tried to calm myself down with. I hear his foot steps as they slowly approach me. I flinch at the echo of them.
"Are you gonna turn around?" he asks in his deep british accent. I let out a soft sigh, swallowing hard as I shake my head 'no'. He lets out a shaky sigh. I could almost feel his hand reach out to me. My body stood still,trembling but ready for his embrace even though I should'nt want it, but I needed it. My heart and mind struggled with what I needed and what i desperately needed.
"Ellie..." He whispers stepping closer. I quickly move before he could get any closer to me, my body turns slightly as I lean against the beautiful white walls of the hall way in front of the ballroom. He pulls back, his hand going to his lips as he rubs them the way he does when he's thinking.
"What do you want from me?" I stammer still looking away from him.
"Can't you just... talk to me?Please..." he begs.
"What is there to talk about Jonathan?" He looks at me, stunned. I had never called him that.
"Eleanor.. Please."
"I'm sorry. I have to go." I say holding back tears as I walk away from him down the hall. I hear him running to get in front of me. His hand goes to my shoulders. My head raises as I'm physically stopped from walking.
"Jon please! Why are you doing this to me?" I ask, my eyes filled with tears and red.
"Because I need to explain. I promise I'll leave you alone if you'd... just let me explain. Please?"
I sigh. Jesus Christ what is he doing to me? I've become soft. Why am I even giving him this time to explain? Do I even need the explaination? I look away for a minute then up at him into the deep blue eyes of his.
"Okay." I finally say, moving back from his hands. He lets out a sigh of relief, rubbing his fingers through his blond curly hair.
"Can we... Go outside where we have privacy?" I nod as he steps aside, extending his arms to lead me to the beautiful
garden.
{Jonathan}
She looked beautiful. Her body, her skin. She always looked perfect. I couldn't stop staring at her as she glides across the room, speaking and smiling to every person she encountered. I sipped on my wine, slowly pressing the wine glass against my lips, not sipping due to being distracted by her beauty. She wore a long emerald dress, strapless with gold accessories. Her dark hair was down and curly as she liked to wear it. My god she was beautiful. Beyond beautiful even. I cursed myself. I should've told her the truth. About the real reason I had to leave. I couldn't let her be in danger for my selfish reasons. I loved her. I love her. And that's why I left.
We entered the garden as she took the lead inside. She looked around, spinning as she did so before facing me. I stood there, my hands in my pockets. She shrugged looking at me.
"Start talking. I don't have all night." she says in her blunt way. I rub my lips, smiling a bit.
"Look... I know I left... in the worst way possible-"
"Yeah you got that right." she scoffs, looking away. I let out a soft chuckle.
"I'm sorry. I just..." I groan trying to find the words. I could feel her eyes watching me. I felt cornered but I had no right to complain. I did leave her with no explanation. Not even a goodbye.
"Jonathan... I know." She says abruptly. I look up at her.
"You know... what exactly?" I ask. She sighs facing me completely.
"You're a spy." she whisper just loud enough for me to hear.
"How... Mm... How'd you-"
"The signs were there. Let's leave it at that, okay?"
We stood there. I couldn't speak. She already knew? And never said anything?
"El..."
"Jon... I am hurt. However I do understand why you left. I knew... everything even without you telling me. You acted suspicious throughout the weeks, so I figured you had to be some sort of secret service."
I chuckle a bit. "Secret Service?"
"Oh shut up." she says trying to hide her smile. I chuckle a bit, moving closer to her. I look down at her, those beautiful brown eyes. My hand twitched, wanting to touch her. She looked away from me briefly, clearing her throat.
"I um... I think I should go." she says, her voice soft.
"No no. Wait. Just... wait a minute." I beg placing my hands on her shoulders. She looks up at me, her eyes glisten. I found myself mesmerized by them. And then the band began to play a song. We both made a face at the song that played. It was our song. I extended my hand to her, bowing a bit.
"May I have this dance?" I ask. She rolls her eyes, smiling. With hesitation, she places her hand in mine. I pull her close to me, my other hand against the small of her back. Her small hand placed on my shoulder as she leans against my chest, her forehead placed on the tip of my chin. We gently swayed to the music. The song we first danced to when falling in love with each other. In that moment, I forgot about everything. Any problems, any complaints, they no longer existed. It was just me and the love of my life. Dancing to the music of our love.
{Third Person}
After a few minutes of slow dancing, Jonathan Pine and Eleanor Grant separate from their close embrace. Their eyes connect in a desperate gaze. Jonathan places his hand against her face, his thumb gently rubbing her cheek. He looks into her eyes, then her lips. Her eyes follow his, knowing what he wanted. And honestly, she wanted it too. He leans in slowly, his lips gently and gradually pressing against hers. Eleanor lets out a soft moan, melting into him. Jonathan pulls her closer into him. His hands caressing her body as they kiss one another. Then she pulls away, her eyes filled with tears.
"Wha- What is it?" he asks out of breath. She shakes her head, moving away from him.
"No... No I have to go." she says rushing out the garden. She can hear him calling her from behind, but she doesn't stop. She can't stop. She couldn't let him see the tears in her eyes. She didn't want him to see how vulnerable he made her. She hated being vulnerable, and never allowed anyone to see her that way. Especially him. She didn't want him to know that he was the only one to make her that way.
Jonathan stood in the hallway. His fingers going through his blond hair. He messed up. Why would he kiss her so soon? He was just trying to make up with her. Not drive her away. He wanted to make up with her and possibly start over. And after that kiss, he craved more. He needed her. He needed them. So, he rushed out of the building, getting his car from the valet and heading to get his woman back.
Eleanor stumbles into her home, bare foot and hair in a bun. She was exhausted. Not just physically either. With a sigh, she throws her heels into her walk through closet, unzipping her dress letting it fall to the floor. She slowly walks into the bathroom, turning on her shower letting the steam warm her cold skin. She steps in, allowing the hot water to cascade over her body.
After her shower, she steps out wrapping her body in a white towel. She stands in front of her mirror, tilting her head a bit as she stared at her body, then her face. Sighing, she dries herself off, dresses in a silk nighty and heads into her kitchen for a glass of wine. As she sat at her counter sipping her wine, that kiss burned on her lips. Man she missed him. A lot. Even though he hurt her bad, she missed him kissing her, holding her and making love to her. Her body craved him. And little did she know, his craved her as well. Suddenly, a knock on the door startled her out of her thought.
"Coming!" she says, getting off the stool walking to the door. Swiftly she opens it, revealing a red faced Jonathan, his jacket under his arm as he waited for her to open the door.
"Jonathan... What the hell?" she says flopping her hands up as she walks into the house.
"El please." He closes the door behind him, walking behind her.
"Jon, what else do you want from me?" She softly sobs, her eyes dripping tears. His eyes widen a bit. She's crying?
"Eleanor, I-" he starts, still stunned at the sight before him. He's never seen her cry. She's never been vulnerable to him. She stars at him, realizing what was happening. She was crying, in front of him.
"What?" she says, as she wipes the tears away, sitting back on the stool.
"You're crying." he says in a soft tone.
"No I'm not." she detests.
"Ellie you don't have to lie."
"I'm not."
"El..."
"Jon..."
"Can we stop this?"
"Stop what?" I ask annoyed, placing the bottle on the counter. My eyes move from the counter over to him.
"I'm pretty sure you know why i came back. Why are you pushing me away?"
"You think I'm suppose to welcome you with open arms? It's not that fucking easy Jonathan. You left. You left without a word."
"I had too El!" he raises his voice, making her flinch.
Silence briefly surrounded them as Jonathan tried to get his composure back. He lets out a sigh. He knew getting her back would be difficult and he had hoped he could at least try and get on neutral ground with her.
El watched him. He was so frustrated. His face was red, his eyes welling up with tears. She had been drinking for a while, and was at a point that she couldn't guard herself. She was an open book.
"You... You make me feel." She stammers after a few seconds. She stares into the distance, tears falling from her eyes as she lets herself feel for the first time in a while. Jonathan turns to her, his face full of shock.
"I hate feeling. It makes me feel vulnerable. And I hate that." She chuckles a bit, wiping tears. "Then you came along. And made me feel things I didn't want to feel. You made me... put my guard down and change. And then you left me..." She softly sobs a bit at the end.
"And I'm so sorry, Ellie. I really am. But I did it because I didn't want you to be hurt. You gotta understand-"
"I do." She nods finally standing. "I really do. And that's... even scarier. Because I know you love me. I know you did what you did because you love me. But... I loved you. I loved us. And waking up without you near me that morning, hurt me more then anything. And you have to understand that."
Jonathan stares at her in awe. She'd basically poured her heart to him. Something she rarely did, but she was of course intoxicated and that was the only sure way to get her to be vulnerable. He had to admit that she was right. He did what he had to do to protect her from his circumstances. And she suffered heart ache because of it. He knew it would, but in the end he had to make the hard decision to leave and protect her. He has to think of a way to get her trust back. To get her back.
"I do understand. I understood before I did it. And it crushed me to do it. But... I realized that I cannot live without you. So..." he says getting down on both his knees, grabbing her hands. She shakes her head, attempting to keep her hands from his, but he captures them anyway.
"Jon please..." she softly pleads.
"Eleanor Marie Grant... I love you. I've never loved anyone more then I love you. And I curse the day I left you. And I'm sorry. I'm so so so sorry that I left you. That I hurt you. That I broke your heart. Even If I did it because I wanted to protect you. I should have... said something to you. I should've explained. And again I'm sorry."
By this time, Jonathan is full on crying, holding back sobs as he pleads his case. Eleanor is doing the same. Her heart melts at his pleas and she begins to feel those feelings she felt before.
"Will you please... forgive me?"
And there they were. The words she needed to hear. She had always thought that Jonathan left the way he didn't want to hurt her. She knew he needed to leave. She had known he was a spy the entire time, and knew eventually his true self would be revealed had he not left her. And although she knew the risks of dating a spy, she allowed herself to be smitten by him. She allowed him to break down her guard and it hurt her to do it, but she loved him. And after everything they had been through, the heart ache she experienced when he left her a year ago in a hotel in Paris, France. Those words washed away everything. She stared in his eyes, those piercing blue eyes of his that were tear filled and red. Her hand caressed his cheek and his eyes closed at her touch against his skin, a soft moan and sigh escaping his lips, for his missed her caress and tender touch. He helped him up off of his knees and he stood before her, on edge waiting for her answer. With a soft sigh and sniffle she looks up at him and says...
"It will take sometime for me to fully trust you again. But... I have forgiven you."
With a relieved sigh, he hugs her close to him. Finally he got his girl back. The love of his life. He pulls away, slowly kissing her and embracing her even more. Each touch was careful and sensual. He missed her and everything about her. And while he had her in this moment, he would cherish every part of her. As time went by, they stripped each other and were in bed, making love to each other as if it was the last day on earth. Soft kisses and moans filled the room, kind of like music.
What seemed like hours passed and after a few rounds of mad passionate love making, Eleanor laid her head against Jonathan's chest, his arm around her as they held each other, watching the sun rise from the bedroom window.
"How long will you be staying?" Eleanor asks. Jonathan gulps rubbing her shoulder softly with his hand.
"How long do you want me to stay?" he asks her. She sighs sitting up, putting her chin on his chest as his hand goes behind his head.
"Forever?" she says smiling a bit, making him laugh at her cute face. That look always got to him. He smiles feeling content for the first time in a while.
"Well if that's the case... then... Marry me." he asks softly. El sits up slowly, her eyes never leaving his. Her heart skipped so many beats she felt like she'd faint. She began to back away and Jonathan rose up out of bed, catching her, his eyes desperately trying to read hers.
"Ellie... Don't-"
"No no no. I'm sorry." she chuckles realizing what he thought. "I'm not running away. I just... didn't expect you to ask so suddenly."
"Oh... Im sorry. I know it's sudden but.. I wasted a year away from you and realized that I want you by my side for the rest of my life. So... please. Be my wife?"
With a small smile and a nod, she was swept into his arms again. And they made passionate love, making beautiful music together from that day on.
(word count: 2945)