"Time" they said, time will help you heal. But was that really the case? Time was supposed help you think and act or make changes but what did it really do?
It hurt you even more. You lost your appetite along with the need to care about what you looked like because either way you kept telling yourself you weren't good enough and over time you believed it.
So in reality, time did nothing but make you feel worse and more alone. So you did what any other depressed, alone person would do and in a quick amount of time you tried to end your life.
But like they say right "everything gets better over time" doesn't it?....
********
You sat up and looked around confused on how you got to bed but then quickly realized Jensen must have carried you.
You crawled out of bed and quietly made your way down stairs and into the kitchen. You sighed not hungry but could go for some coffee so you did just that.
You opened up the cupboards and found the coffee and continued your goal. You popped the coffee pot in and turned it on waiting for the machine to do its job.
You took this time to sit down and look at your bandages. Your stitches looked fine but will still make hella of a scar. You weren't gonna uncover the other ones just Incase they were still scabbing over so you put new bandages on your stitches and sat there waiting for the coffee.
"Good morning" a gruff voice said from behind. You whirled around and found Jensen walking in grabbing two coffee mugs from the cupboards.
"Good morning" you said quickly, damn his morning voice is hot! You blushed at yourself for thinking that and looked up. Jensen was staring at you and your (e/c) eyes met his candy apple green ones.
He seemed dazed and you were about to fall off the chair before he cleared his throat and turned around pouring the coffee. You pursed your lips deep in thought when he pushed a cup over your way.
"Thank you" you said. "No problem" Jensen responded. You took a sip and felt it moving down your body. It felt nice!
"So I have to go to set today, one of the scenes were messed up so I have to go back and re-shoot the scene and I was wondering if you would like to come to set with me to look around and stuff?.." Jensen said trailing off.
You smiled and nodded "that would be great" you said. You didn't have anything else to do and plus you got to go to the supernatural set!!
"Ok well we have to leave in about 30 minutes" he said. You nodded and jumped up to get ready.
You waved at Jensen and ran upstairs to get ready when you remembered you still didn't have your stuff.
You huffed and trotted back downstairs with your head down. "Back so soon" Jensen mused. You looked up pouting "I don't have anything to wear" you said.
"Oh well Danneel left some of her clothes here you can borrow" Jensen suggested. That will have to do "ok" you said.
Jensen got up and beckoned for you to follow him. He went upstairs and into his room and opened the closet doors. He pulled out a drawer and grabbed a pair of jeans out and then grabbed a blue t-shirt that said "got salt?".
He turned around and handed them to you "Here, the clothes should fit because she was small and skinny too" he said. You nodded and did something that scared you.
You hugged Jensen resting your head on his chest "thank you for everything". Jensen was stunned for a few minutes but then melted into the hug and wrapped his arms around your small frame.
"No problem" Jensen said. You stood back and gave a quick smile exiting the room. You raced back to your room and quickly got changed. The clothes fit perfect so you slipped on your white converse.
You brushed through your hair and pulled it up in a messy bun. You looked at yourself in the mirror. You didn't look good and the bandages only made you look worse.
You not eating made you look skinny but were you skinny enough?. You had small bags under your eyes from not getting much sleep but when you did you had to cry yourself to sleep.
You walked out not in the right head space and was really feeling the urge to cut. You pushed that feeling down and made your way downstairs.
Jensen was all ready standing by the door. He looked up and smiled and you smiled back to the best of your ability. "Ready to go?" He asked. "Ready as can be expected" you replied.
With that you got in his car and so did he. You made it to set in ten minutes but you were having a war going on inside of your head.
Jensen parked and got out but you stayed seated.
What if no one likes you? What if they ask about the bandages? What will you tell them? That your a failure and Jensen saw and saved you? Oh yeah and the fact that your crushing on him but your too ugly for someone to like you back?
All this ran through your head and tears pricked your eyes. Jensen seemed to notice because he opened your door and knelt down.
"(Y/n) listen to me, everyone will love you I promise and if they ask about your bandages then we simply tell a lie and say you fell. But one of my best friends Jared you might want to talk to because he went through some stuff like this" he explained and kept going.
"you have nothing to be afraid of and whatever your brain is saying in there ignore it because I'm here and I won't ever lie to you and if it makes your feel better I will always be with you and I don't plan on leaving you alone ever" Jensen said.
You were staring into his eyes while he said this and you believed him. You nodded and he grabbed your hand standing up and slowly pulled you out of the car. "Everything will be ok" he said.
You sniffled and walked with Jensen your hand still in his. "Hey Jensen!" You heard a voice yell. Jensen turned around and so did you facing a very tall man that could only be known as Jared.
"Hey Jared! This is (y/n) she is staying with me and I will explain everything on break but you can't tell anyone else" Jensen said. Jared nodded concern covering his face "ok" he said.
"Aloha!" Misha said running over, you looked at him and he seemed to have a lot of energy. More and more cast members came running over and you started to feel overwhelmed.
All you wanted to do was go into a dark corner and cover your ears and close your eyes hoping for everything to be silent and for you to be alone.
Everyone was talking so you gripped Jensen's hand and stood behind him. He seemed to understand because then he said "hey guys I'm gonna go get into my trailer and get ready" and waved leading you away from everyone.
You sighed relieved when Jensen made it to his very large trailer and no one was around. Jensen opened his trailer and stepped in dragging you along. It was huge! And super nice.
You looked around in awe and then made your way over to the big couch. You plopped down and rested you head in between your legs and shut your eyes.
You loved the people they were all so nice and welcoming but when it came too to much chaos you felt too overwhelmed so you just wanted to hide in a dark corner and curl into a little ball.
You felt a hand on your back rubbing soothing circles and you melted into the touch without meaning too. "I'm sorry I didn't realize everyone was gonna come running over, I should have known" Jensen said quietly.
You looked up confused "what? No Jensen it wasn't your fault you didn't know, I just have so many things wrong with me that even I don't know what to do with myself" you explained.
He smiled and shook his head looking down at his feet "your just something special" he mumbled. Before you got to ask what that meant a knock was heard on his door.
"Come in!" He yelled, the both of you looked up and was met with no one other than Jared. He was a very tall man you thought.
"Hey we don't have to be to set until 5 so seeing as we have like 3 hours to waste I came here to see what you needed to talk to me about" Jared explained.
You took a deep breath and let it out slowly "ok yeah sounds great so how do we begin?" You mumbled.
Jensen looked at you and then looked at Jared who was sitting in front of them in a chair "well remember that day at set? Well it kinda all started there..."
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♥️Always Keep Fighting♥️
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