psa: i am not 100% sure how vegas weddings or weddings in general work, don't clown on me
Courtney's POV~
My heart is racing.
The chapel is a lot more elegant than I expected it to be. The carpeting is old, but the warm lighting and small designs engraved into the walls make up for it.
It almost smells like my old house used to. I can't decide if that's unsettling or comforting.
Right now, it may be more comforting. Because I dreamt about this day for years. My wedding day. I mean, I didn't exactly dream of it like this. Spontaneously taking a trip to get married toa man who just happens to be my former boss.
But Brendon's right, this is something we need to do for us. And maybe he's just trying to prove that he really wants to do it, but I think this is perfect.
I've always been an over thinker. And these past few months have really brought that side of me to the light. I don't want that to be what I become; someone with anxiety about everything that could go wrong in the world, someone who refuses to act on something just because it won't please other people. I've been that person for far too long, I think.
While I lose myself in thoughts about everything, Brendon has already talked to the front desk worker and before I know it, I'm signing papers.
Once I sign my name at the bottom of the paper, I look over at Brendon. He looks at me too, in a way I didn't know I needed until this moment.
Someone takes Brendon away and a middle aged woman approaches me as well.
"I'm Gillian, and I'll be taking care of you tonight!" I think she expects me to say something back, but I'm a little in shock. All I want is to see Brendon again. She just proceeds with her spiel.
"There's a variety of sizes and styles in the dressing room. Take your time, this is your big day after all, hun." She shuts the curtain, the last image I have is her grinning face.
I start going through the dresses, and that's when excitement replaces shock. I'm doing this. We're doing this.
This is something people wait their whole life for. Someone to love them unconditionally, someone to be there even when the worst hits. And Brendon is that person. It may not be the ideal relationship for people on the outside looking in, and I know that. I know what it looks like on the surface. But it goes so much deeper than what people can see. He helped me out of a dark place I didn't even realize I was in. I don't think I've ever thanked him for that. Maybe this is my opportunity.
As I flip through the piles of dresses, my eyes land on one. It's beautiful. It's my size. But most importantly, it's free. On the house. And while I may not get to take it home, I don't know that I want to. Because this is ours. Something we did without anyone on our shoulders about what the right thing is.
I slip the dress on my body and any doubt I thought I might've had disappeared. It fits like a damn glove.
I push the curtain aside and step out. Gillian's face lights up. She holds her hands up to her mouth. The dress is fitted at the top and starts to flare at my waist with a long train to follow behind me. It has long lace sleeves with embroidered flowers; just the way I imagined it when I was young.
"Oh glory almighty, now that is a beautiful bride wouldn't you say?" I take another look in the mirror and for once, I see everything I've wanted to be. And I know it's not gonna last forever, but this moment of confidence is nice.
"Yeah. I think so." I bite back a smile and she clasps her hand together in excitement.
"Then let's get you out there." She pushes the veil into my hair and drapes it over my face. "Perfect." My shallow breaths barely carry me to the doors. My entire body tingles with nerves. Before the doors open, I slide the ring off of my finger.
"We don't have rings. Could you use this one?"
"Of course, hun." She gently guides me forward.
I hear the music coming out from the closed chapel doors. One step. Two step. The door opens.
The aisle is covered in white pedals, but as I look up and lock eyes with the man who is soon to be my husband, it's like I don't even care. I float over to him, my dress dragging on the floor, picking up petals and dust.
Tears well up in my eyes and I can tell Brendon's do too by the extra gloss over them. He holds his hand out to me and immediately I take his soft palm into mine, interlocking our hands in front of each other.
This is love in the purest form. In a way I've never felt it. He has never looked more like himself than he does in this moment, and I have never felt more comfortable in my own skin. I feel a warmth inside of me. I don't ever want to lose this feeling. Not in a million years.
"Beautiful," Brendon mouths while looking me in the eyes.
The officiator starts talking, introducing the ceremony, but it sounds like I lost my hearing. I think I black out until he says,
"Now Brendon and Courtney please join hands and face each other.
Brendon, do you take this woman to be your wife?"
Brendon grins widely and I bite the inside of my lip until he says the words that I have been longing for.
"I do."
"Courtney, do you take this man to be your husband?" I nod, chills running up and down my back.
"I do." It's like every weight I have ever carried tips off of my shoulders, falling straight through the chapel floor.
"Love is a beautiful thing and we see it every day here in this chapel. We give every couple the choice to express that love through their personal vows or to recite the ones we have for you." And the nerves come back. My heart races, my palms start to sweat. He looks to Brendon, who nods and clears his throat to speak.
"Courtney, I uh.. I don't know how to say how you make me feel. It's kinda frustrating." He laughs, looking down at the carpet and scowling. "I didn't expect this at all; you and me. But you're the best thing I've done- oh shit- I didn't mean it like that." I rub circles into his hands and smile at him, encouraging him to talk through the nerves he's obviously feeling.
"I love you like I've never loved anything before. You make me better. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. We've got work to do, more importantly, I've got work to do. But I can't imagine working on it with anyone else but you." I sigh out of relief and then realize that it's my turn to say something. I rack my scattered brain until the silence is too much. I just blurt the first thing that pops up into my head.
"I love you. With every single fiber of my being. You saved me from a place I didn't know I could be saved from and I can't even begin to show you how grateful I am for that. I know there are hills we still have to climb over, but I want to walk every step with you. You've shown me.." Shit. Stop crying. "You-" I spit the word out but stop talking in hopes that it will help the lump in my throat go away.
"It's okay, you don't have to say anything else."
"No." I clear my throat and talk through the tears as best as I can,"you showed me love when no one else did. I didn't even know someone could love me the way you do. I thought I was going to be alone. But you came, and thank god you did, because you are the best god damn thing that has ever happened to me." His eyes don't look away from mine for even a second.
After another moment of silence, the officiator begins again. And this time I hear him, loud and clear.
"These rings are a symbol of the eternity that you will spend together. A perfect circle that never ends. We wear them to show the world that we have chosen our perfect person; someone that we have promised to love and trust, through our weakest and highest points of life. When we put these rings on, we are not committing to becoming perfect, but we are striving to thrive together. Individual flaws, mistakes, and sorrows will be shared as you become each other's equal partner." Gillian hands Brendon the ring he gave me not too long ago. He slides it onto my finger. It fits the same as it did fifteen minutes ago, but somehow it fits me better.
"By the power vested in me by the state of Nevada, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride. Congratulations!"
Brendon dips me down and firmly presses his soft lips to mine, solidifying the promise we made to each other forever. He hoists us both up and smiles, his eyes radiant, his smile intoxicating and contagious.
"I love you, Courtney Urie."