Seb glanced at Chloe while he drove the twenty minute journey to his parent's home in Heppenheim. Dressed in faded blue skinny jeans that were ripped at the knees, a loose fitting, cream coloured v-neck sleeveless top that showed a hint of cleavage and with cream heeled shoes on her feet that made her legs look even longer, she was a vision for his tired eyes and he was extremely grateful that she was here and had agreed to come with him. She was staring moodily out of the window, she'd turned her body slightly away from him and was pressing herself against the door in an effort to be as far from him as possible. She'd been dreading today, her insides were twisting with anxiety, she had period cramps and her hormones were making her feel irritable and being with Seb wasn't helping. She felt like she could burst into tears. She'd not been to Heike and Norbert's home before and there were going to be other members of Seb's family there who she hadn't yet met, and given her current circumstances meeting his extended family felt totally wrong. The only thing that was going to help her get through today was the passport in her bag and her reservation on a flight to Los Angeles, a result of the deal she'd coldly struck with Seb in order for her to agree to come here. All she had to do now, was get through today, get back to his house, grab her suitcase and then go. Deciding that she couldn't bare the awkward silence in the car a moment longer she hooked her phone up to the car stereo and soon Rihanna's 'We Found Love' was filling the car. Wanting to test Seb's patience she turned the volume up, he glanced at her but said nothing so she turned it up again. Now it was really loud, and the bass was making her insides feel like they were vibrating, she allowed herself a sneaky sideways look at him, he kept looking straight ahead but he did react - with his foot on the accelerator. For the first time since Tuesday night she smiled and as Seb glanced at her he could see the smile on her face which made him smile too. He really wanted to turn the volume down, he could barely hear the Ferrari's engine above it as it roared behind them but right now seeing her smile was way more important and if deafeningly loud music was what made her smile then he was prepared to put up with it. All too soon they had arrived, he braked and turned into a large driveway that was already quite full of cars. Using the controls on the steering wheel he turned the music down and then off before shutting off the engine and turning in his seat to look at her. Her smile had quickly faded.
"Well, we're here." He murmured, he could feel her anxiety without her even looking at him. "Thank you for doing this."
"For doing what? Lying to your whole family?" She shot him an angry look. "Your mum doesn't deserve to have the day spoiled by finding out what you've done."
"I'll tell them soon, I just wanted to give them today."
"Well I hate lying to them." She looked down at her hands.
"So do I, but I'll sort it soon." He could see that she was going to get upset so he removed his seatbelt and got out of the car. He waited patiently for her to get out, which she did after checking her makeup in the sun visor's mirror. She looked up at the large property that used to be his childhood home and she wished she was coming here as a different person to the one she was now, this was going to be hard. She joined his side and they walked to the front door together, already she was fighting her emotions and she stopped after only a few steps. He looked at her, he was making her miserable and he started to wonder if he should have just let her stay home or catch an earlier flight to L.A. Suddenly the front door opened.
"Ah there you both are!" Heike rushed over to greet them and Chloe immediately forced a smile as she was embraced warmly by the woman who should have been her future mother-in-law. "Welcome to my home!"
"Hello Heike, it's lovely to see you." She returned Heike's embrace and watched as Seb was hugged by his mother.
"You've lost weight, I see it in your face." She stood back, looking at her son. Heike was right, he had lost a little weight, they both had. They'd both struggled with their appetite over the last couple of days but on him, the effect was visible more quickly. "I will have to tell Antti you must eat more. Come in, please." She walked ahead and waved them in, Seb glanced at Chloe, wanting to take her hand like he usually would but instead she decided to fiddle with her bag as she walked. Today was going to be harder than he thought. Entering the hallway they both stopped and her breath caught in her throat as she saw the banners and balloons in front of them, all printed with the word 'Engaged' on them. This was not just a family get together, this was an engagement party and this was now her worst nightmare. She heard Seb mutter something in German and as they turned to look at each other she could see by his face that he'd had absolutely no idea that this was going to happen, he looked horrified and then extremely guilty. Today was about to enter another realm of awkwardness and she just wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. She couldn't deal with this, she wanted out of here, and now. "I planned a little surprise for you! Hope you like it!" Heike chirped happily.
"It's erm......it's.....it's great." Seb stammered next Chloe as he looked at the banners once more and his heart began to ache. "We wasn't expecting this, were we liebe."
"No, no, it's a so good of you Heike, you didn't have to go all this trouble." She just didn't know what else to say, but she needed to get back outside and fast. From the corner of her eye she could see him look at her and then felt his fingers tentatively touch hers. "I think I left my phone in the car Seb, have you got the key, I'd like to go and get it." She looked at him, hoping her face showed how desperate she was to leave. He looked at her, wondering if she was looking for an excuse to bolt, he wanted to go with her, to make sure she didn't run.
"I'll come with you to get it." He nodded. "We'll be back in a minute." He added, looking at Heike who was clearly waiting to get them outside in the back garden. He turned around to find Chloe already heading for the front door and he jogged a few steps to catch up with her, taking hold of her arm gently to escort her outside. Stepping back out into the drive he shut the front door and waited for her to vent.
"I can't do this." She stated, sounding panicked and starting to pace up and down. "I feel bad enough as it is lying to your mother, but this! Give me the key Seb."
"No." He knew if he gave her the key to the car then she'd be gone, she stopped and turned to him with her hands on her hips.
"An engagement party Seb! You're mother has thrown us a fucking engagement party and we're not even together!"
"I know, I'm just as surprised and feel just as bad as you do, but please, stay."
"You should feel worse than I do, considering it's your fault we're in this mess. Key. Please. Now." She held out her hand expectantly and started tapping her foot.
"No." He stood his ground, he'd paid for her first class return flights to L.A and a luxury villa for her stay in as part of the deal she'd struck with him, now he wanted her to keep to her side of it.
"Fine, then I'll walk." She strode off down the drive towards the road, he was quick to catch her up.
"Chloe please! I'm begging you!" He stopped in front of her, blocking her path. "I'm just as mortified at this as you are, but please don't go."
"It's too much Seb." She shook her head sadly.
"It's too much for me too, but please, do this for my mother."
"It's too much for you? You deserve to suffer so much more than this!" She snapped. He looked pained at her words.
"Believe me, I am suffering, more than you know." He replied miserably. She looked at him and her resolve crumbled, she could see that he was suffering, his mother didn't deserve to suffer too. She let out a big, heavy sigh and resigned herself to the fact that she was going to have to endure a painful afternoon, pretending that she was blissfully happy with the man she loved when all she felt was heartache and unhappiness. She turned around and walked back to the house, hearing him sigh with relief behind her as he followed. "Would you consider wearing your ring?" He asked as he stood with one hand on the door handle. "I've got it with me." He knew he was pushing her even more beyond her limits by asking.
"No." She answered flatly, he opened the door and they walked back inside, he knew better than to try and push her any further, he'd have to make up some excuse as to why she wasn't wearing it.
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Stepping out in to the back garden they were met by a large group of happy faces and immediately she felt as though a difficult situation was now impossible. Seb had looked pensive as they'd walked through the house but he did the same as Chloe and forced himself to smile as people rushed over to greet and congratulate them. It wasn't long before she was asked about her engagement ring after Lena, one of Seb's cousins who had introduced herself, asked if she could see it.
"Oh, she's left it at home." He slipped an arm around her waist and felt her posture stiffen.
"Yeah, I took it off to shower and I've left it in the bathroom. It's not the first time I've time done that." She took a small side step away from him as a massive hint for him to remove his arm from her, which he did.
"Aw Seb, you should pop back and get it, everyone would love to see it." Lena replied, hoping that he would agree.
"No, there's no need for that. I'm not making him drive all the way back there just to pick up my ring." Chloe hoped that Lena would drop it now, Seb could have driven to the other side of the world and back again for it for all she cared and she'd still refuse to wear it.
"I'd do it for you, I'd do anything for you." His voice was full of misery and pain and she hoped to god that Lena wouldn't pick up on it. Was he really going to start with this stuff now? He knew how difficult a situation they were in, because he was the one who'd put them there.
"That's true love!" Lena gushed pressing her hands together. Chloe smiled in return though she felt it was probably more of a grimace than a smile.
"Hallo kurzer Arsch!" Melanie walked over and slipped an arm around her brother's waist. "So you finally found some poor girl who was prepared to marry you, huh?" She looked up at him, giving him a cheeky grin.
"Hello you!" He pressed a kiss to her cheek, her presence made him feel fresh pangs of guilt but also gave him some comfort. "It's good to see you too."
"So show us the bling." She smiled at happily at him.
"Chloe's left it at home." Lena chipped in. "Left it in the bathroom."
"I'm so forgetful, sometimes I wonder how I manage to do my job properly." Chloe shook her head, smiling, until she felt Seb grab her hand and hold it tightly. What was he playing at? Her head snapped to the left to look at him, but he was looking the other way. Then she saw who had got his attention and her heart dropped to her stomach as she saw five very familiar faces. Just when she thought that the day couldn't get any harder, her parents were here, along with her brother, his wife and little Freya and they were walking over, with Heike smiling broadly next to them. Now she knew why Seb was holding on to her so tightly, he was trying to support her. "Mum." She whimpered, this was definitely too much, this was more than she could bare.
"I'm sorry, I had no idea." He turned his head to face her, now the guilt had intensified, this was added pressure that neither of them needed and he felt like the most treacherous bastard in the world for putting her through this.
"I know you didn't." She mumbled back and found herself tightening her hold on his hand, seeing her family made her want to burst into tears on the spot. She swallowed again and again and again in a ginormous effort not to cry. If this had happened only a week or so ago she'd have been the happiest woman on the planet, now she felt like the complete opposite.
"Hello darling." Chrissie pulled her daughter in for a hug and Chloe screwed her eyes shut while hugging her mum tightly.
"I've missed you all so much mum!"
"Seb's mum invited us over for the weekend, isn't that lovely of her?!" Chrissie stood back, holding Chloe's hands while Seb stood to one side watching on awkwardly. When the truth came out that they weren't together it wouldn't be just Chloe's heart that was broken, it would upset their families too. "So where's your ring? Let's see it!"
"I've left it at the house." Chloe's eyes darted to Seb, he looked like he'd rather be anywhere else than here. "In the bathroom." She added as she stepped away wanting to avoid talking about it any more with her mother, she headed straight for her brother who was carrying Freya. "Hi Richard, I cant believe you're all here!"
"Well I couldn't miss my little sisters engagement do, could I?" He grinned. "Congrats for bagging a rich one!"
"Cheers darling brother." She replied as she gave Michelle a hug. "It's so good to see you." Her voice wobbled, she was right on the edge of breaking down.
"You too Chloe, you deserve to be happy, I think you've got a good one there." Michelle replied, making Chloe turn to look at Seb who was talking to her parents. This whole day was turning into one massive farce. "You ok?" Michelle noticed how emotional she suddenly looked.
"Yeah, it's all a bit overwhelming." She fanned her face with her hand.
"Let's see the diamond then." Michelle reached for Chloe's left hand.
"I've left it at home." It dawned on her that she was going to be repeating this line over and over today. "Can Auntie Chloe have a cuddle with Freya, I've missed this girl so much!" She changed the subject, again.
"Sure you can." Richard handed Freya over to Chloe. As soon as she felt the little girls arms around her neck it all became too much, and the tears started, making her hold Freya tightly.
"I think she's missed you too." He smiled until he noticed his sister bursting into tears. "Sis, are you ok? Is something wrong?" Immediately he looked over to Seb and caught his eye. Seb then looked at Chloe, the sight of her clinging onto Freya and sobbing broke his heart all over again and he went straight to her.
"I'm sorry." She gasped as she felt his hand on her shoulder.
"Let's just get you inside for a moment." He looked at her and then at her brother's worried expression, inside he was panicking that she was going to tell them everything, the burden of it all had become too much. Slowly she nodded and handed Freya back to Richard.
"Hormones, time of the month." She muttered weakly to him, trying to ease his concern.
"Say no more, you've got soppy in your old age!" He teased, making her smile through her tears. She allowed Seb to take her hand and he swiftly led her back inside, making the excuse that she was just overwhelmed to anyone who asked what was wrong. He led her through the kitchen, into the hallway and then up some stairs before turning right at the top and then opening a door. She found herself in a bedroom, the trophies on the shelves, motor racing memorabilia and photos of Seb himself when he was younger, some taken with his family and some with different race cars, told her that this was his old bedroom. As he closed the door he could hear her taking in gasping breaths in between her sobs.
"Sit down." He pointed to the double bed. "Take some deep breaths." Surprisingly she did as she was told, he'd expected to her scream and shout at him but instead she sat down on the bed, her shoulders were shaking and slumped in defeat. He'd never seen her so low as she was now and he hated himself for what he'd done to her. Cautiously he sat down next to her, listening to her breathing as she struggled to regain her composure. Shuffling a bit closer to her, he slipped an arm around her shoulders, he couldn't not hold her when she was as upset as this. He braced himself for her to push him away but instead she leant into him, making him turn and put his other arm around her until he was holding her close to him. "I'm so sorry." He whispered into her hair. "I'm so, so sorry." He felt her arms slip around him in response and the small gesture made tears fill his eyes that he didn't even attempt to fight to hold in. Right now this was the closest he'd been to her since that night and he wanted to hold her like this for as long as he could.
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Later on, she was sat by Seb's side trying to force herself to eat something while he'd managed to eat a small portion of pasta and salad. She sipped at her glass of delicious, chilled champagne and looked at the other tables around her. With her parents here how the hell was she going to get away for her flight later? She had no option, she was going to have to delay it and hopefully fly out Monday, if she could get her reservation changed to a later fight. There was no way she could stay here, she felt stifled, she needed to get away, she needed time for herself so that she could process everything that had happened and begin to repair to her broken heart and shattered self esteem. Her dad rose from his seat across the table and tapped on his glass, bringing her back from her thoughts, he was going to make a speech, everyone went quiet and once more she wished that the ground would open up beneath her. Everyone fell quiet.
"Erm....I just wanted to say a few words, as Chloe knows I'm not normally one for making speeches. First of all I want to thank Heike and Norbert for their hospitality and for making myself and my family feel so welcome here." David stopped as there was a small ripple of applause. "And secondly, I just wanted to congratulate my daughter, Chloe, and Sebastian on their engagement. We've all been so happy since we heard your great news and it fills me with such pride to know that my one and only daughter is finally walking down the aisle. It still feels like only yesterday that you were just this little girl who charmed and made everyone fall in love with her. Now you're a beautiful woman and ready to start your own family and both me and your mum are over the moon with happiness because I know you are marrying someone good, kind, and faithful. I know how much he loves you and how much you love him, so it truly is a match made in heaven. To Chloe and Seb and the start of a wonderful life together." He finished by raising his glass in a toast and everyone joined in before politely applauding him.
"Thank you dad." She choked the words out, trying not to get emotional again, while reaching her hand across the table to him. "That meant so much." She added, while knowing that the whole day was one big fat lie. If only he knew the truth, if only he knew that Seb was not faithful.
"You're welcome princess, we're just thrilled to see you so happy." He squeezed her hand. Seb watched on, he felt sick, their lie was getting bigger and deeper, how on earth was he supposed to break the news that they weren't together anymore? "Come on Seb, your turn!" David boomed across the table. "Speech!!!" From the corner of his eye he could see Chloe look at him, she leant over to him.
"You don't have to do this. This charade has gone far enough." She muttered tersely into his ear. She was right, this was getting out of hand and had been from the moment they'd got here. But then it dawned on him, he could tell her in front of everyone how much he loved her and maybe make a small start towards repairing the damage he'd done. He looked at her and gave her a weak smile before standing up. Chloe tugged on his hand, why was he doing this? He didn't need to do this, this was madness. "Seb, you don't have to!" She tried to stop him, but he'd made his mind up. Everyone fell quiet once more.
"Ok, I'd like to thank everyone for coming and to my parents for organising the whole thing, so thank you." He smiled at Heike and Norbert, his mother smiled back proudly. "At the end of last year, I wasn't in a very good place personally and professionally, I had a lot of change to deal with and I found myself in need of a new PA. It's a shame that Britta isn't here actually, as I should thank her because if it wasn't for her then I wouldn't have been able to hire such a fantastic PA and I wouldn't have met the woman who quickly became my whole world and who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with." He paused and turned to look at down at her, he could see by her face that she was silently begging him to stop, but he was determined to carry on. "Chloe, I know our relationship has been like a rollercoaster ride, fast and with some ups and downs but I've never fallen for someone as quickly and as deeply as I have for you. I will never be able to put into words just how much I love you but I'll make sure to tell you every single day, even when we're apart. I will always love you and I can't wait for the day I can call you my wife." He looked down at her tearful face and lightly brushed his fingers over her wet cheek, knowing that very soon they would be thousands of miles apart, while she looked up him to see his expression full of love as the garden filled with murmurs of appreciation and applause. His fight for her had just begun; and he'd win, he had to, there was no other option for him, the thought of not having her in his life terrified him, he was sure it would kill him. She'd become his once more and then he'd marry her and he'd do whatever it took to make that happen. For Chloe, his words, though beautiful, had only torn her apart because as much as she loved him she knew that she couldn't be with him. The image of him and Eva was ingrained into her mind, she saw it when ever she closed her eyes and even in her broken sleep and nightmares at night. She would never ever be able to forget, no matter how often he told her that he loved her. Chrissie looked at them both as Seb sat down, for the first time today she could see that something was terribly wrong. Her daughter looked worn down and broken and he looked much the same as he looked to her for some kind of reassurance while she just looked down at the table. "I meant every single word. I'll tell you that I love you every single day. I'll do what ever it takes to prove it to you." He leant over and pressed a kiss to Chloe's head, suddenly she stood up, surprising her family, they knew that she hated making speeches; but for her, enough was enough. She looked at Seb's face as he silently shook his head, then at all the expectant, happy faces around her before finally settling on her mother's worried expression. She had their attention.