A/N: Yoooo, we've reached the 10th chapter of this series
Lmaooo, I can't thank u guys enough
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[Y/N]: Shirazu just told me that he'll sell me to the zoo. What's that supposed to mean?
Urie: He's just saying 'I love you' in rabies
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Saiko: Okay, we gotta get through this locked door
Saiko: Maman, quick, give me your credit card
Haise: Here
Saiko, pocketing it: Cool. Shiragin, kick the door down
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Saiko: Hey [Y/N], I ate the brownies in the fridge, were they yours?
[Y/N], trying to hold back their laugh: Yeah, it's gonna kick in soon
Saiko, terrified: W-what's gonna kick in soon?
[Y/N]: 3... 2...
Saiko: [Y/N]!
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Saiko: Ice is actually water having a boner
Mutsuki, crying: Please, shut the fuck up
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Shirazu: Sassan is too innocent
[Y/N]: Wanna bet?
Shirazu: Bring it
[Y/N]: Yo, Sasaki! What starts with an "f" and ends with "uck"?
Haise: Firetruck!
[Y/N]: Okay... What starts with a "p" and end with "orn"?
Haise: Popcorn!
[Y/N]: Oh my fucking god...
Shirazu: Told you
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Haise: I have an idea! Remember that one time when Mutsuki-kun wore a red shirt on Thursday about two months ago and--
[Y/N]: Dude... I don't even remember what I ate for breakfast
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Haise: If you had one week left to live, what would you do?
Shirazu: Spend time with my sister
Saiko: Playing games
Mutsuki: Maybe going somewhere nice
Urie: Nothing
[Y/N]: ...
[Y/N]: I have to wait a week?
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Shirazu: I think we can all agree that I'm the most responsible member here
Mutsuki: Shirazu-kun...
Mutsuki: Yesterday, you literally set the bathroom on fire
Shirazu: ...
Shirazu: There was a cockroach
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Saiko: As a serial killer, my name would be "The Suspense", so my victims would be like "Oh no, The Suspense is killing me"
Saiko: Then, we would both laugh right before I kill them
Urie: ...
Urie: Why don't you call yourself "an idiot" so I can say "Oh no, an idiot is killing my fucking time"
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[Y/N]: *sends Saiko a selfie with an empty concert venue in the background*
[Y/N]: Look, here's all the people who want to fuck you
Saiko: So why are you in the pic?
[Y/N]: Get the fucking point, I'm trying to be subtle here
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Shirazu: See? One day, you're gonna look back on this and laugh
Urie: I assure you, for the rest of my life, every time I look back on this, I'll personally drive over to your house and smack you
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The kitchen, filled with smoke
Saiko: Don't tell Maman I made bacon in the toaster!
Haise: What is going on here?!
The rest of the squad: Saiko made bacon in the toaster
Saiko: ...
Saiko: Why
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[Y/N]: You know what's important?
Haise: What is?
[Y/N]: The fact that I am both cute and powerful
Haise: ...
Haise: Can't argue with that
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Shirazu: I may seem like an angry person on the surface, but deep inside I'm actually angrier
Mutsuki: ...
Mutsuki: Since when?
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Urie: I've got a great memory. Name one time I forgot something
Shirazu: You left me in the McDonald's parking lot
Urie: I did that on purpose
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The Qs squad after a successful mission
Shirazu, high fiving Haise: Yeah, sooooon!
Haise: Daddy
Shirazu: What the fuck?
Haise: You called me son and I panicked
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Doctor: Hi, how are you?
Haise: I'm fine, thanks
Doctor: Get the fuck out, then
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[Y/N]: Searching for happiness within
[Y/N]: ...0 matching results
Mutsuki: Hey...
[Y/N]: I'm depressed
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Mutsuki: I wish you'd just admit when you've made a mistake
Urie, calmly stirring his coffee: Fuck you, I prefer it with salt
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Shirazu: You know, my dick has a lot in common with the sun
Saiko: Why? Because nobody likes looking at it directly?
Mutsuki: It gives people cancer?
Haise: It rises at the crack of dawn?
Urie: It disappears at night?
[Y/N]: It needs to stay approximately 92,960,000 miles away from us?
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Saiko: What's the difference between an egg and Shiragin?
[Y/N]: I dunno
Mutsuki: Umm...
Shirazu: What the hell?
Haise: There's a baby inside an egg?
Saiko: Nope. Eggs get laid and Shiragin doesn't
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Saiko: God, I just hate being alive
[5 minutes later]
Saiko: Okay, so I started writing some reports and it's not that bad at all
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Mutsuki: I want you to look at me straight in the eye
Saiko: I can't look at those eyes and be straight
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[Y/N]: Choke me
Shirazu: Oh, I didn't know you were in that kind of stuff
[Y/N]: No, I want to die
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Arima: I'm at a loss of words!!
Arima: *starts to yell and complain about everything*
Haise: Despite being at a loss of words, he continued to yell at me for 10 minutes
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Saiko: When I said "Bring me something from the beach", I meant something like a seashell!
Shirazu, struggling to hold a seagull: Well, you didn't fucking say that!
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Haise: I've only slept 10 hours in the past week, so I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown
Haise: *bites phone*
Haise: This isn't a bagel
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Saiko: What's up?
Urie: Not you, that's for sure
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[Y/N], checking if the mics are working: Testing, testing 1, 2, 3... Nope, I still want to die
Mutsuki: Me too
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Shirazu: Hey, try not to fall for me
[Y/N]: That's... almost impossible, because...
[Y/N]: I have really low standards
Shirazu: You lil' shit
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[Y/N]: Where'd Haise go?
Shirazu: He said he was gonna go flirt with the purple haired hottie working at the kiosk
[Y/N]: Oh!
[Y/N]: Wait...
[Y/N]: Which one?
Shirazu: ...
[Later]
Haise: What's up, hot stuff?
Touka: Stop calling me that
Urie: Not much, idiot
Touka: ...
Urie: ...
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Haise, teaching the Qs squad something important: Okay, so you have to push everything aside and--
[Y/N]: *pushes Urie*
Haise: [Y/N], why would you do that?
Urie: Yeah, why would you do that?
[Y/N]: You said to push everything aside. He's my everything
Urie, softly: ...[Y/N]...
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[Y/N]: Apparently scientists are finding ways how to turn stress into electricity
[Y/N]: Holy shit, I'm gonna be a high powered freaking phone charger
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Shirazu: [Y/N], if you'd be in a fairy tale, you'd be Snow White
[Y/N], blushing: Aww, that was so cute
Saiko: Who would I be?
Shirazu: One of the dwarfs
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Mutsuki: Can you recommend me a book that made you cry?
Haise: General mathematics, 8th edition
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Haise: Seriously? You asked for 90$ to buy that?
Saiko: THIS COWBOY HAT IS THE ONLY THING GIVING ME CONFIDENCE IN LIFE, MOM
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[Y/N]: Kyaa~ Doki doki desuuu
Urie: Shut up with that disgusting weeb garbage, you primitive degenerate
[Y/N]: Primitive?
[Y/N]: Don't you mean...
Urie: God, no--
[Y/N]: Nyan-derthal
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Saiko: Creeper
Haise: I'm disowning you
Saiko: Awww man
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Haise: What language do they speak at the center of the earth?
Haise: Core-an
Urie: The center of the earth is around 5430 degrees Celsius. Not a single living being can live there
Haise: Core-an!
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Shirazu: What's another word to say stupid?
Haise: Dumb
Mutsuki: Idiot
Saiko: Idiotic
[Y/N]: Unintelligent
Urie: Shirazu
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Haise: Listen to me!
The rest of the squad: *not listening*
Haise: Ahem... Ladies and gentlemen, SEX
Haise: Now that I have your attention, I--
Shirazu: You don't have our attention
Haise: Money
Shirazu: I'm listening
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