I'm sitting in the dark with a mug of tea and with a thunderstorm outside while listening to my writing playlist on Spotify. I'm really enjoying this so I hope you do too.
This first book is coming to an end soon, so please remember to enter the competition to get your character in the sequel. Read more about how to apply in the bottom of chapter seventeen.
This is not super long, but important!
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Rosie's POV.
" Look, lover boy is on the telly!" Alex screamed, pointing at the screen in front of us with one hand and tugging at my sleeve with the other, to move my attention from our exam project and onto the montage-like intro that was rolling over the screen.
I looked up to see one short concert clip after the other flashing in front of my eyes, as the voice of a woman did an overly energized presentation of the band. " The 1975, our own growing Manchester band, and British pride, is touring Europe at the moment as they are doing their first-ever headline tour. We have managed to catch them for an all exclusive interview here in Munich.."
" Damn, Matty is looking fine as hell," Alex said, tilting his head at the screen as one picture, of an overdramatic Matty, after the other flashed before our eyes.
I laughed and poked his cheek, making him look at me shortly, before moving his attention back to catch the rest of the montage, " Don't get ahead of yourself. He's taken and the last time I checked, you were too," I chuckled, closing my laptop and putting it down on the table in front of us.
" Very true, but that doesn't make me blind," He teased back, pulling me into his side and turning up the sound on the tv. " Besides, I'm just saying that If I didn't know Jonah, and Matty wasn't your man, you would have to look out for me sis. I would snatch him right before your eyes."
" As if," I laughed, rolling my eyes.
" You don't believe me? I bet Matty couldn't resist my charms even if he tried," Alex said, pretending to flip his non-existing long hair over his shoulder. Now that I thought about it, that was a quite Matty-like move.
" Mmhm right. I don't think so. Quite frankly, I'm pretty sure Matty can't be charmed, he charms others. That's how it works. Believe me, I speak out of personal experience, " I chuckled, reaching up to ruffle his hair before looking back at the screen where the small montage was over.
Instead, a middle-aged journalist sat in a chair beside the four boys I knew all too well. Out of instinct my eyes quickly found Matty and my heart dropped at the sight. He looked like a ghost.
" He looks tired," Alex said quietly, looking at me shortly as if to see whether or not I saw it too.
I did. All too well, and the sight hurt like hell.
His skin was faded, his stubble longer than how he would usually leave it, his eyes dull, voice raspy, his posture sloppy.
The rest of the band looked tired as well, but Matty was exceptionally zombielike.
I sighed and lifted my hands to my face, rubbing my eyes, as I shook my head slowly.
" He's drugged up," I mumbled, biting down on my lip to keep the tears from welling up in my eyes.
" I thought he was almost clean," Alex mumbled, as he quickly leaned forward and turned off the tv to spare me from any further exposure to the sight of Matty's fragile state.
Honestly, I was mad at the rest of the band. They all seemed fine. I couldn't deny that they hadn't too taken something once in a while, but they seemed overall clear-minded. I knew George hated Matty when he was like this, but I also knew that he had given up. But Adam, how could he live with this?
" He is, but he gives in sometimes," I said, tugging the ends of my sweater over my hands. I suddenly felt very small and cold.
" I'm sorry," Alex mumbled, pulling me against his chest as he placed a kiss down my hair.
" It's not your fault. I just feel bad, you know," I explained, leaning back to look at him, " It's just difficult. Usually, I'm there to divert his attention from the bad things but It's just hard now that the only connection I have to him is through a phone."
" He's a grown-up, Rosie. He's not your responsibility," Alex said calmly, " I know you want to be there for him, but in the end, he'll have to look after himself."
I knew he was right even though I couldn't help feeling guilty. Guilty that he was alone, guilty that I wasn't there, but more than anything, I was guilty that I couldn't tell how he truly felt when we facetimed. It was absolutely pathetic. How could I almost be done with my psychology education and still not be able to read the one person in the world I loved the most.
Sure, I knew he didn't sleep well but I honestly thought, or at least hoped, that he hadn't found it necessary to drug himself up.
" I know," I said, taking a deep breath before reaching out for my computer that rested on top of the table where I had left it minutes earlier, " Can we just continue and finish this project."
" If you say so, R," he said, observing me for a couple of seconds to see if I was truly alright, before he too, grabbed his computer.
I needed to help him. I just didn't know how yet.
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Matty's POV.
Rome was far away. One month away to be exact. That was the only thing going on in my mind. Every bit of energy and thought process was spent powering the giant countdown in my head. Everything else was one big faded blur. A blur I couldn't figure out.
People, places, questions. I didn't know where to start or where to finish.
Paying attention was becoming rare to me, and also I didn't care. Usually, I wouldn't stand up a chance to be listened to or looked at, but I didn't bother anymore.
" I'm sorry about him. He's not feeling well lately." I heard Jamie 'excuse' my lack of interest and engagement in some interview we had just done. Exceptionally, my band members had had lots of opportunities to speak. Even Hann who rarely said anything. I, on the other hand, had kept quiet except if the question had been directed to me especially. " Yeah, he's got the flu," Jamie continued, as I left the studio and went into the room in the back where Jane sat in a big leather couch, reading some fashion magazine.
I could hear how Ross, George and Hann were all saying their goodbyes to the tv team in the other room.
" You got me something?" I asked her, making my way across the small room, standing in front of her.
She smiled calmly, reaching into her jean pocket, throwing me the usual little bag, without even looking at me. " You know, you pay me too little to keep this habit of yours going," she said calmly, still with her eyes glued to the magazine that rested in her lap.
" I don't pay you at all Jane," I said in a monotone voice, " Jamie does," I added, dry-swallowing one of the familiar pills and tugged the rest into my pocket just in time before the rest of the band entered the room.
"Maybe you should then," she challenged with a wink.
I just rolled my eyes and turned my back to her, which I regretted instantly as George didn't look pleased at all.
" What's with you lately?" he asked, looking somewhere in between pissed and worried. A face expression I had seen way to many times back when I did cocaine and the other hard stuff. Only this time, it was only "sleeping pills" but he didn't know that, and he also wouldn't believe me if I told him.
" Nothing, I just don't sleep well," I mumbled, sitting down on the opposite couch of Jane. I had learned that it was best to stay out of her reach. Everything that was in her circumference, she took as an invitation. George didn't seem to care though, cause he quickly sat down beside her, leaning forward so that he was only half a metre from my face.
" I don't believe you. Don't you care about how you had just gotten better? Don't you care about how you look and act?" he asked, with a desperate voice. He was tired of me. It didn't need to be vocalized. " How would you feel if Rosie was here?" he continued, making me sigh.
" Better," I said truthfully.
He had no idea.
" That's not what I ..." George started but was cut off by Jamie who had finally reached the room.
" What's going on here?" he asked, stopping in his tracks by the view of George's giant body, that was almost towering over me from how far he had leaned forward in his seat.
" Nothing, it's just George that's being premenstrual" I joked, rolling my eyes as I stood from my spot.
I wasn't gonna stay and listen to their health preach, and I sure as hell didn't want to be the centre of attention for their judging eyes. I was doing fine anyway.
Just one month till Rome. That was all.
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If anything goes according to plan this was the second last chapter which means there'll be one more chapter to this book before I move on to the sequel. The last chapter will probably be up later this week, so stay tuned.
Don't forget to vote and comment! <3