The same dream. Every night, you had to endure this dream —or should I say nightmare. Every night, the same scenario : you woke up in the dark, hit your head, realized your legs were tied and you were in a car, then the trunk opened. Every night, you woke up shaking in fear, covered in sweat, flashbacks playing in your head.
It got to the point you were afraid to fall asleep at night more than anything. You slept with the lights on, music playing to calm you down, but it wasn't enough. That's why you decided to go back to the psychiatrist with Jimin : you couldn't endure it any longer and you thought it might help to talk about it with a professional.
You were now sitting in front of your psychiatrist, Dr Choi, fidgeting while both her and Jimin waited for you to talk. You took a deep breath before eventually starting to tell them what made you change your mind.
As you were narrating your dream, you could feel Jimin getting more tense next to you as the doctor kept a blank face. When you arrived to the moment you were realizing your legs were tied, Jimin took your hand and pressed it, probably horrified you had to go through this every night.
"And it just feels so real... almost like a memory rather than a dream." you ended, looking down. Dr Choi took a moment to write something on the little notebook she always had before looking up at you with a comforting smile.
"Okay, it's great you came to talk to me about it," she paused before continuing with a soft voice, "You said it almost feels like a memory, could you elaborate ?"
"I don't know, it's just the way I feel. Like I really feel the fear and all as if it was really happening, it's not like a usual nightmare. And it's always exactly the same scenario, everything happens exactly at the same moment."
You could feel Jimin's stare as you talked and you almost regretted bringing him here as you didn't want him to pity you.
"It could be a memory," she started slowly and Jimin pressed your hand a little more as he held his breath, "but we can't be sure of it so I don't want you to panic or anything. However, I think trying stimulus could help us find out what it really is."
You looked at Jimin, wondering if you should try it. He gave you a comforting smile, shaking your hand a little.
"Do what you feel ready for Y/N," he said softly and you turned back to the doctor.
"I will think about it."
-
You were getting out of the appointment with Dr Choi when your phone rang. You expected it to be Taehyung or Sunhi but your blood froze when you read the contact name.
Jungkook.
You read Jungkook's text over and over again, asking yourself what you should answer. You didn't really know if you wanted to see him but in the same time you missed him like crazy.
You remembered how it made you feel at first to see him again at the party and how you avoided talking to him the whole night. However, was avoiding him at all cost the good way to go if you wanted to move on ?
You had been looking at your phone silently for a few seconds now and Jimin had been calling your name to make you move. However, you didn't pay him attention and he ended up looking at your phone as well, reading the text you were looking at.
"You should go."
You lifted your head and flinched at Jimin's proximity.
"What ?"
"You should go out with Jungkook. I think it would be great to talk together to process everything," he said before shrugging, "But chose what you think is best."
You looked at your phone again, thinking about what he said.
-
A few hours later, you were in front of the coffee shop you knew too well. It was the one you used to go to on dates with Jungkook. Standing there felt weird at this moment, memories flashing in your mind. You wondered why you accepted to see him again, but you couldn't go back now, could you ?
You took a deep breath before pushing the door of the place, your heartbeat increasing. You immediately saw Jungkook —he was sitting at your favorite table. It was almost as if things hadn't change and you were about to join him on a date. However, three years had passed and he had a new girlfriend now.
When he saw you as well, he immediately stood up, looking at you with an expression you couldn't read. You walked slowly towards him, your heart beating faster and faster. You wondered how you should greet him.
When you reached him, you both stood there, staring at each other and not knowing what to do.
"Hey," you eventually let out and he stopped being frozen, running his hand through his hair.
"Hey."
You both didn't add anything, still standing awkwardly next to the table.
"We should sit-"
"Yeah," you cut him off, sitting hurriedly and he sat as well, clearing his throat. You were both really agitated and clumsy, and if you hadn't been so uncomfortable at this moment, you probably would have laughed at your silly behavior.
However, sitting didn't change anything and you both were still silent, fidgeting nervously. You only talked when the waiter came to take your order before going back to the awkward silence.
"So... how have you been doing ?" Jungkook finally broke the silence, gazing at you.
"Good. I think I've been doing alright.."
He nodded, looking down at his hands. He seemed even more nervous than you and you were surprised as he used to be so comfortable around you.
All your memories of High School were basically the three of you being comfortable around each other, not giving a sh*t about anything. And here you were, years later, facing each other in silence, a wall of awkwardness and weird feelings between the two of you.
"How is Soyeon ?" you asked, deciding to ignore the painful jealousy hurting you constantly.
"Fine," he simply answered, avoiding your eyes.
You stayed quiet a few more seconds, almost hearing the sound of the clock ticking as it was so silent between you. You regretted coming but in the same time it felt good to sit in front of him like that.
"Why did you want to see me ?" you eventually asked, not baring the tension and silence between you two anymore.
"I- I just thought it would be great to talk. About things. I don't know what but just talk together-" he stuttered and you cut him off.
"Yes, okay. What do you want to talk about then ?"
"You said you're going to work again. Where are you going to work at ?" he asked after thinking a little and you relaxed.
That's how you started chatting like you used to, the awkwardness fading away as if you had never been separated. Talking together in this coffee shop, it felt right.
-
"Do you want me to drive you home ?" Jungkook asked as you got out of the coffee shop hours after going in. You both didn't realize you spent hours together and it was already dark outside.
"No, don't worry, I'll walk."
"I don't mind, really. Let me drive you home," he said immediately, nervousness showing on his face.
You wondered why he wanted to drive you home so bad when it was only a ten minutes walk. What you didn't know was the worst scenarios were playing in his head at the idea of you walking home alone in the dark.
"It's okay, Jungkook. It's not far, I can walk," you tried again but he shook his head before grabbing your wrist to lead you to his car.
"I said I don't mind, I'm driving you home."
You looked at his hand around your wrist, your heartbeat increasing suddenly. He followed your eyes and let your wrist go as soon as he realized as if he just burnt himself.
"Okay, let's go then," you whispered, walking past him to his car, your cheeks burning. You hated yourself for reacting this way when he just touched your wrist for a few seconds. He followed you and you both got in the car quietly, the awkwardness of the start back.
The drive went in silence and when he pulled over in front of your parents' house, you thanked him hurriedly, not even looking at him before rushing to the house.
Once you were locked in your room, you flopped on the bed, letting out a scream of rage. You were mad at yourself for having all those feelings for him, you were mad at yourself for not being able to ignore them, you were mad at yourself for feeling this way towards someone who had a girlfriend.
But what could you do ? In your mind, it was as if he was yours a few weeks ago.
-
JUNGKOOK'S FOCUS
"I saw Y/N today."
Jungkook didn't feel like hiding anything from Soyeon so he didn't hesitate to tell her. She looked up from her phone, lifting an eyebrow.
"Hm ? Where ?" she asked nonchalantly, gazing at Jungkook.
"We met at a coffee shop."
She sat up straight, suddenly way more interested in this conversation. She put her phone down, observing every reaction from Jungkook who was still on his phone, not looking at her.
"What do you mean ? You hung out with her ?"
He felt jealousy in her voice but not only. He couldn't put his finger on the other feeling though.
"Yes, just to talk a little," he simply said hoping it would reassure her.
"Did you talk about... what happened ?"
He looked up at her, frowning at her question.
"Why would we ?"
"I don't know, it's important-"
"Why ? Why would we talk about something like that ? You know she doesn't remember anyway."
"Does she really ? Did you ask her ? Are you sure she doesn't remember a thing ?"
Jungkook stared at Soyeon not understanding her sudden interest in your memory.
"Why does it matter ?"
"It's just- It's to know if she knows who did it-"
"I didn't talk about it with her. We talked about things more... enjoyable." he said quietly, feeling uncomfortable.
"Like what ?"
"I don't know, many stuff ! Why are you acting like this tonight ?" He got up, his heart beating fast. Soyeon immediately got up as well, an apologetic expression on her face as she came closer to him.
"I'm sorry babe, I didn't mean to annoy you," she said softly, trying to take his hand.
"Hmm whatever. I'm going to sleep." he replied, ignoring her and leaving the room without another word.
Soyeon stayed there, jealousy taking over her as she realized you were probably going to mess up her relationship with Jungkook more than she thought.