I make my way to the car, getting in and starting it up, but before I can drive off Colby runs around in front of it, his hands on the hood. He's panting- did he take the stairwell?
"Alaska- wait..."
I roll my eyes, throwing the car in reverse and once I have enough space, drive froward to get out of the spot. He still jumps in front of it. I scoff
"Seriously?"
I reverse again, and in true dramatic fashion, back down the street and do a three point to head in the opposite direction. I can't deal with that right now. I can't deal with LA right now. This place consumes you, makes everything an academy award winning drama. Maybe it isn't just the people around me, but the place as a whole. Knowing what I have to do, even though I've essentially only just got off a plane, I head home and pack my suitcase again. I need to ground myself again.
I'm on the next flight back to Australia, landing in Brisbane and driving an hour north. Back to my hometown. I never wanted to come back here, but it could do me some good to remind myself of the shit I came from and how much shittier it is than life in LA. My Uber drives past all the same familiar roads, nothing having changed. Same bad memories. It's a photo, an image standing still in time. Getting back to my childhood home, my mother and little sister are overcome with excitement at my surprise visit. I play toys with my little sister, eat mums dinner- she still hasn't learnt to cook, and pass out in both sleep depravation and emotional exhaustion in my childhood bed. I've never been happier to be here. It's almost enough to make me forget I've ever moved. That my life is what it is.
I wake up to a tens of messages from Colby, over any and all social media. I don't bother looking at them. Instead heading out with no make up to get a coffee and visit my grandparents. I bake with my nana, watch true crime with my grandpa. Returning home in the afternoon, I get ready to go out with my high school friends. It didn't go down well last time, but to be honest I don't think I'm going to let any guy get even close to me tonight. I'm so done with that half of our species. To end the night, I uber home and try to sneak in without making noise. I think I used to be better at it when I was a teenager, now I don't care. Too used to having my own space I forgot how to stay quiet. I wash off my makeup, as always, and go to bed naked. Sleeping in most of the next day, I wake up to an empty house like I often did on weekends growing up. I make myself breakfast before deciding I need some saltwater. I get in one of my old swimsuits left here in the cupboard and head down to the beach, allowing myself to tan on the sand for a while and see if I can soak up some serotonin along with the sunlight. I wade out eventually, plunging myself into the water. It's peaceful under here, the world slow moving. I wish it was always so slow moving. So undramatic. Emerging from the water, I can hear my name being called
"-laska! Alaska!"
Is that... ugh. I dunk myself again. Why the hell did he follow me all the way out to Australia? Running out of air, unable to hide in the surf any longer, I'm forced to come up door air. Finding him only feet away from me. I groan
"Colby- Why?"
He holds up a finger
"No- no you don't get to give me attitude thank you. I flew my ass out to Australia only days after coming back from Greece, had to find my way to this tiny ass beach town and find where the hell this specific beach was just to explain myself to you. The least you could do is give me a minute."
I look over his face, our eyes at a stand off with each other. I give in
"Fine- on the sand."
We sit on my towel, looking out over the water as he begins
"I was cutting it off with her, Rey. We weren't serious but I was trying to tell her we can't hook up anymore. That it's done. I got what I wanted again- I got you. She just didn't take it well- I didn't realise she thought we were more serious than we were. And when I mentioned it was because I got you back, it was like you two were never friends. It just so happened you rocked up at that exact time."
I scoff, shielding my eyes from the sun as I look at him and comment
"I don't get it, Colby. You can have casual sex and lead on so many girls but you can't break up with them over a text? Those things tend to go hand in hand."
He shakes his head
"You know that isn't me Rey. Im better than text dumping people- and I don't hook up with multiple people. Just this last two months-" he's frustrated "you were with Kian! I was struggling to get over you. I had to distract myself somehow."
I shake my head
"I donn know what to think anymore, Colby. Shea, Savannah, Emily. Am I only another one on the list?"
He huffs,
"Rey- you know you're not."
I bite on my bottom lip, contemplating.
"Well- we're obviously not meant to be offical. At least not now."
"So what are you suggesting?
"Put me on the list."
He shakes his head
"Rey..."
"Well- not on the list. But... let's just hang."
"You mean-?"
"Hook up, hang out, be friends."
He furrows his eyebrows
"Are you sure?"
I shrug
"Unless you're not."
He exhales, looking back out to the water
"Is that the only way you're going to be with me right now?"
"Probably."
After a heavy moment of contemplation, he nods
"Okay."
"Okay."
I nod too. Feeling the need to break the ice now, I reach out and touch his face. When he turns to me, i lean in and kiss him. He doesn't kiss back at first, but begrudgingly gives in. Deepening it and moving me back against the sand. Hand gripping my hip, the other rested on my throat. What proceeds is some weird, fucked up, angry form of make up sex. We're mad at each other, but it's amazing and raw. Arguing and making up at once. Made romantic by the scenery of the private beach.