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Chapter Eighteen
He stood before me.
His golden skin, beautiful blue eyes, and deep blond curls still the same as they were before. He wore an ivory toga that only magnified his muscles, his calves, his arms, and his strong chest and much (much) more. His brown ancient Greek sandals still were tied proudly around his feet as he stood in the temple with his eyes showing nothing more than contentment.
My heart squeezed painfully in my chest, as I fluttered my eyelashes closed. I didn't want to learn that Lord Morpheus had managed to out smart Lady Hecate, I didn't want to imagine that I would open my eyes and it would be that god standing in front of me instead of my god. I didn't want to imagine the wicked smile upon his lips and those hardened artic eyes of his.
"My darling Icarus..."
Slowly opening my eyes, I noted that Apollo reached his hand out for me to take. My heart squeezed again, with worse pain than before, as I took a step backwards. All I could remember was Lord Morpheus grabbing me to him before we were both engulfed in flames. So many flames, so much pain....
"No...No..." I could only repeat that one word over again, because I had no idea what I should do next. I knew that this was my Apollo. I knew that the God of Sun was actually in front of me but I had been scarred for nights on end when it came to being burnt alive in my nightmares.
Thump.
One moment I was taking steps back from him, as though he were a wild creature that needed to be pushed away, and the next moment I moved too quickly. My socked foot slipped on the cool surface of the marble floor. I hit the ground in a loud thud, enough that I flinched from the impact.
"Icarus," Apollo whispered my name, as though he thought that if he spoke low enough he could be able to take away all those nightmares. I still had tears drip down my cheekbones at the remembrance of that wicked version of him.
I stayed still and kept my eyes closed. Red warmth washed underneath my eyelids. The atmosphere was different here. I felt as though I belonged here. I was in his temple. I wasn't in strange houses that were created just as backgrounds for the dreamscapes. I was here, my Apollo was here.
"D-Don't t-touch me," I pleaded as his footsteps headed in my direction. I only opened my eyes after the footsteps stopped, noting that Apollo lingered in front of me with his head tilted to the side. His fingers twitched, I knew that he did want nothing more than to comfort me.
He didn't say anything, but he crouched down so that he was in front of me. Wind came and played with our curls, he sighed, "Tell me what happened, please. Lady Hecate wouldn't tell me what it was that had kept me from you, but she assured me that it was taken care of. Tell me what happened."
"It was Lord Morpheus, and Lord Epiales. Lord Morpheus would shift his form to look just like you. Lord Epiales would make sure that the environment wasn't ever the same. It would be a random house, never the same house. I would try to get away from Lord Morpheus but he would always find me...he'd grab me and burn me alive, waking me from the nightmare..."
The sunlight was sucked clear away from the air around us. It was as though a total eclipse was happening, for the darkness that came still produced sunlight in a way. It wasn't beautiful. It wasn't breath taking, it was macabre. It reminded me that this god in front of me controlled the very sun.
"I thought that I could touch you, if I saw you again. Lord Morpheus has made that impossible. I don't think that I could touch you. The trauma is still as present here as it was in those mindscapes of mine," I admitted, as the sunlight danced around me and began to lighten up. My canary curls strengthened in hue, and my curls swirled from the wind that enveloped the both of us.
I whimpered as determination crossed his face, as though he was ready to reach forward and pluck me up from the ground. His hand came closer to mine and I closed my eyes before I focused on making sure that I wouldn't lose consciousness. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, that treacherous sliver of nightmarish memories was kept alive in the corner of my mind.
"I would never hurt you," Apollo breathed aloud, as though he was merely stating what he thought the cloud out in the distance looked like to him when it came to its shape resembling something familiar. I felt relaxed with these words, with this promise, that what he had said was true.
"I...I would never hurt you either," I found myself breathing back. A promise held by another promise, a vow held by a vow in return. This was what was happening between Apollo and me.
"I know, my darling. I know."
My eyes slowly opened once more, my black eyelashes fluttering around my large blue irises as I peered at my destined lover in front of me. He still was crouched in front of me; he wasn't standing up and peering at me with irritation. He wasn't looking at me as though I was just any other mortal.
"Do you love me?" I probed softly, my voice was barely there but he could hear me. I craved to know if he loved me. I couldn't remember if he loved me, if he had told me that he loved me before, but in this moment I wanted nothing more than to hear him tell me that he loved me.
Apollo gave me a gentle smile, a pure smile that made my heart thunder in my chest. The darkness that had wrapped around us had dissipated, and he chuckled some as he waved his hand around us as though to ask me to tear my attention from his beautiful figure to the sunlit temple around us.
"I love you far greater than my love for my previous lovers combined. You are a stunning creature, a beautiful young man. The way that your hand moves objects across paper to create masterpieces only makes me long for your hands to brush across my cheekbones even more. The way that you laugh, and the way that you roll your eyes at your friends, it only makes me want to amuse you enough that you will send me a fond laugh and eye roll," Apollo proclaimed to me, all the while his blue eyes became brighter than ever before.
I brought my hand up and pushed away pieces of my curls away from falling in front of my face. I tore my eyes away from Apollo and to the marble floor of the temple. My face was flushed a crimson hue, as though I was a red rose experiencing its first rays of sunshine once fully bloomed.
"You love me."
My breath got caught in my throat when a hand came close to my cheekbone. An inch away from my pallid cheekbones was a golden hand that wanted nothing more than to caress me. Sunlight still exploded around me, my blue eyes flickering away from the stretched out golden hand to the god that was attached to the hand. He still stared at me with patience.
"You have accepted me, yes?" Apollo tilted his head to the side, his curls falling in disarray across his forehead and his cheekbone. His blue eyes were still as brilliant as before, even more alluring from the amount of space that was taken away from us. We were so close yet so far in this moment.
"There must be worse fates than being destined to be the consort for Apollo," I merely remarked, making him arch his darkened eyebrow up at my remark. I couldn't help but chuckle some, treasuring this tender moment between him and me.
I took a deep breath, knowing that I needed to know that this was real. I had imagined scenarios happening like this. The longer that I had been without him the more I imagined up scenes like this. I needed to feel the slight burn from not even touching him; I needed to know that although we were cursed we would find a way in order for us to touch.
Keeping my eyes on his, I put my cheekbone against his bronze hued skin. The instant that our skin touched everything stopped. The temple crumbled away and we were floating in the rose gold skyline. We were floating, everything was so calm. I was at peace.
"Tell me again," I breathed, earning another soft chuckle from Apollo. I had always imagined that someone would love me one day. I never thought that the person would end up being the god of the Sun but I couldn't complain.
"Tell you what?" he mumbled, I squeezed his hand in mine. The warmth that had surrounded us grew thicker. "Oh, that....I, love you, Icarus."
I smiled as my eyes fluttered closed. His arms came around and pulled me against him. I submerged myself in this nirvana, in the knowledge that someone loved me and didn't make me feel as though I had to feel pressured to tell him that I loved him back. I knew I would fall for him, that I might as well be possibly falling for Apollo, or I had already had fallen for him, but he didn't demand that I respond to him.
I held onto him as long as I could. I hadn't imagined that I would feel this need rise up so rapidly, but when it struck me I couldn't help but tighten my arms around him. He ran his fingers through my hair, and I took comfort in this.
Yet, when my eyes opened I saw my ceiling fan above me whirling away. Heat was present in the air, I knew that it had to have been from the heater in the basement but I still wanted the heat to be because Apollo had been with me. I wanted to imagine that he left a little bit of a sign to let me know he had been there.
Reaching my hands up to run my fingers through my hair, I got off of my bed to go into my bathroom. I stretched some and paddled into my bathroom, pausing when I noted that there was a burned imprint of lips against my cheekbone. Taking a step forward, I almost tripped over my bathroom mat and grabbed onto the counter—checking and making sure that there was an actual kiss burnt stain on my cheekbone.
Groaning, I let my eyes flicker up to the ceiling, wanting nothing more than to get this mark taken from my cheek. I probably wouldn't care if it was on the side of my neck, far enough that my turtleneck sweater could cover it, but not right there on my cheekbone for all to see.
"What am I supposed to do about this?" I demanded, my eyes revealing nothing more than irritation. I let my eyes flicker away from the ceiling to the mirror in front of me. A warm, faint breeze came through and ruffled my hair. I almost jumped as I swore a hand brushed against my cheekbone, along with a phantom pair of lips against my burn against my cheekbone.
The burn dissipated in less than a minute, leaving just my normal skin. There was no way that anyone would be able to tell that I had been kissed on the cheek by Apollo. They would think that I was into some weird burn kink and that was why I had the phantom burn marks of plump lips.
"Thank you," I whispered, my eyes flickering up to the ceiling again. I gave a small smirk, knowing that Apollo was smug at the fact that he had left a mark on me. I wondered what it would have been like if it were the opposite between us, if he was the one who would have burn marks left upon his skin and not me.
I turned to enter my room, only to jump slightly as I saw that Chloe-Rae was loaming over in the direction of where the drawings were. That black cat was with her, I fought the urge to narrow my eyes at the sight of the cat. It meowed in greeting towards me, but even I could tell that the cat didn't like to be in my presence as much as I liked to be in its.
"Nice kiss mark," Chloe-Rae merely commented without turning around. I furled my eyebrows, as the cat's tail began to sway behind it. She nonchalantly reached back and brushed her fingers through the cat's fur. She looked over her shoulder a moment later, smiling at me.
"What are you talking about? There is no kiss mark," I responded, knowing that there was no way that she could see it. Chloe-Rae rolled her eyes at me as she picked the cat up and sat it down. The cat began to roam throughout my room, jumping onto my bed so that it could stalk around.
Biting my tongue when it began to run its body against the covet bedspread and the sheets underneath; I knew that it would be wrong if I decided to throw the cat outside of the house. I knew that it would not lead to a good thing, because the crazy cat lady that owned this cat would probably kill me if it weren't for the fact that I had gained an alliance with her.
As though she could hear my thoughts, Chloe-Rae snorted as she craned her head to the side, "you really hate that cat. And it looks like the cat doesn't like you either." She headed over to the bed and went to grab the cat, only for it to spin on its heels and hiss at her.
Chloe-Rae dismissed the cat and plucked it up before sitting it on the floorboard. She began to make my bed as though she was Mom, "oh and it didn't bite me because of the fact that it is my guardian. It can't injure me. It can sure as hell injure you though, so I don't think you'd like to be in a room alone with it."
"And you're telling me this, why?" I narrowed my eyes at the black cat as it hopped up on the window seat and turned so it was facing the front yard. It seemed content a moment later.
"Apparently it had a nasty past with males. That's all I know about it. I don't know if it's a boy or a girl, and I'm certain that it's not just a cat. It won't hesitate to attack you, thought that I'd let you know since I'm a good friend," Chloe-Rae informed me as she turned to look at me. She was smoothing down the covers that she had spread out softly, and then began to place my pillows on my bed.
"Why did you take it with you?" I headed over to where my drawings were. The last thing that I needed was for this pest to destroy my artwork. I didn't know how its true owner would feel about it destroying my piece that I was making of her, but I didn't care if she wouldn't care because it was a difficult piece.
Footsteps reverberated downstairs, enough that I could hear Mom shuffling around. My eyes turned towards the clock that was hanging somewhere in my room, noting that it was a little after lunch. I had slept later than I had thought, a tingle washed over me at the knowledge that it was well worth it. I finally felt what it was like to have Apollo's arms wrapped around mine.
Chloe-Rae cleared her throat, making me pull myself away from the daze I had found myself in. She folded her arms against her chest and popped her hip against the desk. "So should I leave you alone to your thoughts? I came over to see if Lady Hecate's magic led to something more between you and Lord Apollo."
Again, my face flushed scarlet, as I peered at her with embarrassment from what I was hearing from her. "No! Well...we finally touched. He told me that he loved me and he didn't demand that I answer him. And apparently he kissed my cheek when I was asleep, so that happened..."
She reached over and began to put some of my charcoal pencils back into their tray, I allowed her to do so. I wasn't in the mood at all to draw. I was too busy stuck in a space of my mind where Apollo held me. His blue eyes had stopped every nerve in my body, causing them to be shot with a burst of sunlight, enough that I had become spellbound by his very essence.
I hadn't noted that I had become frozen until a soft brush of a tail against my legs made me jump. Taking steps away to get away from the cat, I couldn't help but trip over my rug that was in the center of my room and hit the floorboard. I groaned and rubbed my butt as I went to get up, my eyes narrowing at the cat as it shot me amusement in its deep greenish yellow irises.
"Icarus, darling, what are you doing? Come downstairs!" Mom's voice traveled upstairs and I shot another glare at the cat. Chloe-Rae merely shrugged her shoulders, as though to remind me that it wasn't her fault the cat had a bad past with males in particular.
"I'll be right back. Keep that cat in here, okay?" I didn't want to demand this to her, but my blonde haired friend nodded her head. She tapped the right side of her leg and the cat bounded towards her, climbing up her jean pants along with her long sleeve blouse before resting against her shoulder blade.
Mom was in the kitchen, cooking happily, as she hummed along to a random song that was on the radio sitting in the corner of a countertop. She beamed warmly at me, "Hello, my darling! That sounded like a nasty fall."
"Yep, tripped over my rug," I responded, shrugging indifferently as I went over to the fridge. I had a feeling that she was about to tell me that Dad was heading home already, she never held this kind of happiness other than when it had to do with Dad.
"Your father is heading home tomorrow! I decided to make his favorite dessert for him to eat when he gets home," Mom informed me. I pulled out bottled water and took a sip, before shutting the fridge door closed behind me. My fingers were playing with the lid of the bottled water, noting how she was having dough spread out prettily against the island kitchen top.
I knew that she was going to make some traditional Greek dessert for Dad; I didn't care to ask her which one she was going to make. She made amazing desserts so I knew I didn't have to worry about her messing up the recipe. I wouldn't be surprised if it were one of the desserts that she had learnt when she had her second honeymoon with Dad and they took cooking classes.
The thumping of shoes hitting the wooden steps of the staircase allowed me to know that Chloe-Rae was coming downstairs. She soon entered with her piercings gleaming from the light in the kitchen. Her hair was pulled in a sloppy side ponytail and her eyes studied the room around her before they landed on Mom.
The cat lay nestled against her shoulder blade, though from the way that Mom was acting I was certain that Lady Hecate had the cat charmed for only me and Chloe-Rae to see. Otherwise I knew that Mom would have been upset if she saw the cat, she was too paranoid about my allergies to cats to allow them anywhere near me.
"My mom just texted me, she needs me to go home to sign for a package that is supposed to be coming in today. Thanks for letting me see Icarus, Mrs. Olsson," Chloe-Rae spoke, causing Mom to smile warmly at her before she nodded her head. I followed Chloe-Rae out of the kitchen and out to the front porch.
Sunlight surrounded us when we were on the front porch; wind wisped around and messed with my hair along with the swing at the end of the porch. Chloe-Rae reached into her purse and pulled out her sunglasses before she put them on. I looked out at my front yard, my eyes briefly shooting upwards to see if I could look at the sun. I thought differently a moment later, knowing that the last thing that I needed was for me to become blind from it.
"So why did you come over?" I couldn't help but inquire, causing her to glance over her shoulder at the front door. It was still closed. Mom was too busy focusing on the dessert to care about leaving me and Chloe-Rae on the front porch together. Besides she wouldn't know what I would be talking about, probably claiming that it just had to do with obsessing about Greek Mythology again.
"I was asked to come and check on you by Lady Hecate," Chloe-Rae responded, as though I should know this. I nodded my head, knowing that it did sound kind of obvious that she would ask Chloe-Rae to do this.
"Anyway, I should get going. I wasn't making up an excuse. My mom did text me and ask me to head home to sign for some weird package," she admitted a second later. She reached her hand out and took mine in hers before she squeezed it briefly. The cat leant forward as though it was tempted to take a swipe at me but decided at the last second not to do so.
Mom was covered in flour by the time I went into the house again. She was completely absorbed into making the dessert and after walking in and making sure that she hadn't left something lying around for her to trip over or spill into her dessert (which in return would make sure to ruin the dessert), I went back upstairs.
Sitting cross-legged on my bed I reached my fingers up and ran them across my cheekbone. If I focused my attention on my face I could almost feel myself transport into the moment where Apollo had kissed my cheekbone.