School's back in session and time is flying by. It's been over a month and I have had two more OB visits. Doctor Devereaux is pleased with my blood pressure. It seems now that most of the stressors in my life have calmed down so has the problem.
Of course, I think there is another reason for it too, and he's currently asleep in my bed, looking adorably cute, and I can't help but wonder what I have done to deserve him.
"I can feel you staring at me," Alex mutters, peeking at me through one eye. "I'm trying to sleep, but with you looking at me like that you're making sleep drift further and further from my mind."
"Is that so? And I do that with just a look, you say? So what would happen if I do this?"
I snuggle in closer and let my hands travel over his naked abs, chest, and arms.
"You keep that up, and we will be late for class this morning," Alex responds. I know he means it because his look is one of being barely held in check. It wouldn't take much to push him over the edge.
I get even closer and let my hand drift lazily across his back. My body now presses fully against his. "Look who's being the responsible one."
"One of us needs to be. I usually count on you, but I see you're in a mischievous mood this morning."
"ME?" I say, batting my eyes innocently at him.
"But you forget who you're playing with," Alex replies, with that look that assures me it's too late for me to getaway. He grabs hold of me as he rolls me over onto my back, pinning me beneath him, all the while being careful not to put his full weight on me.
"Evil woman," he declares, trapping my hands up above my head, lacing his fingers with mine as he kisses me.
I love Alex's kisses. He takes his time. He builds the anticipation, and he drives me crazy, but his kisses also hold the truth of how he feels about me. I always feel cared for, sexy, wanted each time his lips meet mine.
He sits up and lets his hands slowly slide over me. As I shiver at his touch, he laughs. "Cold? I can warm things up for you."
"Oh! I know you can," I assure him, "but we REALLY need to get to class." He looks at me with pure disbelief, rolls his eyes, and just falls over to his side of the bed, freeing me.
"Evil, she's pure evil!" Alex exclaims, staring at the ceiling.
I laugh, getting up from the bed. "I'll make it up to you later. In fact, I'll make us some French toast this morning as a show of good faith."
He lets out a long, audible groan. "I love your French toast, but I hate waiting."
I giggle again. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that," I say, laying out my clothes before I jump in the shower.
"Whoever made up that saying obviously never had a Cat in their life. Face facts," Alex tells me, "you're a curve breaker."
"And I know you love it when I break out my curves," I tease, stripping off my nightgown as I head towards the bathroom, tossing it carelessly on the floor behind me.
"Pure Evil," I hear Alex bemoan, as I giggle and shut the door behind me.
I brush my teeth and get into the shower, setting it to just the right temperature. I smile when I hear the door open, knowing he couldn't resist. Alex opens the door to the standing shower, staring at me greedily. His eyes devour me as takes in the sight of me.
"Got room for one more?" Alex asks with a 'sexy as all hell' grin.
I just crook my finger for him to come and join me. He readily complies.
We surface sometime later and Alex takes the time to wrap a towel around me and then dries my hair with another towel but tortures me as he doesn't cover himself at all.
He pulls me in close to his body, still hot and slick from the shower, and I simply melt into him. He kisses me deeply, and I sigh, "I love you."
Did that come out of me? I look up at him, startled. I didn't mean for those words to come out, but it is too late to take them back. They just escaped from my very soul.
His eyes lock on mine and I see them glisten over. He closes them a moment and sighs, "Please! Say it again!"
Nervously, I giggle as my heart overflows with joy. "I love you, Alex. I really do."
He opens his eyes and picks me up, sitting me on the sink so we are now eye to eye. He pushes my hair from my face but doesn't let go, so I have no choice but to look straight at him.
"I love you, too. Do you have any idea how many times I've wanted to say it? Hell, I've wanted to shout it from the campus bell tower for everyone to hear. I haven't, but only because I want you to be sure. Oh, Cat, I love you."
Alex kisses my lips, my eyes, my cheeks, and back to my lips again. "I could never tire of you, your kisses, the way you make me feel with your words and your body. You're an amazing woman, Cat. I wake up every morning just like I have this morning, wondering how the hell I got lucky enough to have you at my side."
"Wow! That was so much better than what I said," I reply, feeling sheepish.
"I know it's implied," he taunts.
"Big day, huh?" I say.
"One for the record books, I would think."
"Why do I feel so awkward now?" I ask.
"Maybe because you just confessed your innermost feelings to the completely naked man standing in front of you?" Alex jokes.
"Yeah, that may have something to do with it." I chuckle.
He helps me off the sink but purposely slides me down the length of him. "You're not having second thoughts, are you?"
I shake my head no.
"Good. Then I'll let you go get dressed and join you shortly for breakfast."
"Okay," I say.
I try not to run from the room. Oh My God, I said I loved him. And I do. I love him. So why does saying it terrify me? I certainly couldn't have asked for a better response.
I quickly get dressed and have breakfast plated before he joins me. If I didn't know better, and believe me I do, I believe he gave me some extra time just to sort this out in my head, but I still feel nervous.
Not about loving him, but I'm nervous about what loving Alex entails. There is still so much we don't know about one another. Our relationship is new and we are still in the honeymoon stage, but what will happen when the baby comes. Thinking of the baby, I just hit the nail right on the head why saying I love Alex bothers me.
My phone rings and its Olivia. Alex comes into the room and since I don't have enough hands to hold two plates and a phone, I put her on speaker. "Hey! What's up?" I ask.
"Hey Girl, the sorority wants to take you out tonight for your birthday."
I see Alex's head shoot up and I pick up my phone to take her off the speaker. "Yeah, I'm thinking of skipping out on that this year."
"What!? You can't! It's your twenty-first birthday! You must come out with us! You can't break tradition!"
"Twenty-one means nothing to me. You know I don't drink. What's the point? It's just another day." I assert in the attempt to convince her to give up, but she isn't buying it.
"You're willing to let the entire sorority down. You've gone out with us plenty of times before without drinking. What's different this time?"
I spare a glance at Alex. "A lot has changed in my life."
"I know you and Liam are Splitsville, but that's all the more reason you should be out and having fun. We are picking you up at 7. Wear something sexy. I'm your wing-woman tonight," Olivia says. I am about to argue with her further, but I can't, as she has hung up on me.
"Damn It!" I swear, putting the phone down.
"Today is your birthday?" Alex inquires, shocked.
"It's no big deal. I was hoping to just let it pass."
"Why?"
"Why what?" I ask, handing him some coffee.
"Why didn't you say anything? I would have at least taken the day off to take you out to dinner or something?"
"It's no big deal, really."
"Cat, it is a big deal. It's your birthday. Your 21st birthday! That's a milestone. You don't just gloss it over."
"Look! I've never been a big 'Birthday' person. Liam and I were together so long that we didn't even exchange gifts anymore."
"That's sad."
"No, that's reality. Sometimes you to get to a point after you're with someone long enough that you find there is nothing you need or you just end up buying what you want for yourself. So, when a birthday comes around, there really isn't anything to get for that other person. It just happens."
Alex is shaking his head no. "Okay, maybe?" he concedes, "If you've lost all romance and love from your soul."
"You're hopeless," I say.
"And proud to be. I learned the hard way, Cat, not to take life for granted. No one's promised how much time we have to share, which is what makes birthdays so special. It's a day just set aside to celebrate you and how wonderful you are."
It all sounds lovely, but it's not reality. "When is your birthday?" I ask.
"October 12th."
"Fine, then on October 12th we'll celebrate together how wonderful you are. But I'd prefer to keep thing low key."
"You know Olivia won't let you do that."
I frown. I know, just like I know, that the tradition for a Chi Omega girl reaching 21 is to have a pretty wild night at a Ladies Club. This is so far from where my life is currently. I just want to leave it all behind me, but I don't want to disappoint the girls, either.
"Guess I'm going out with her tonight then."
Alex kisses my cheek. "I'm glad. I hate to think of you sitting here all alone on your birthday. And Cat?"
"Hmm?" I say, playing with my food.
"Thanks for giving me such a wonderful gift on your birthday. You guaranteed I'll never forget this day, ever!"
He, of course, is referring to my declaration of love. I smile, leaning over to kiss his cheek. "You're simply hopeless, don't ever change."
He laughs. "I wasn't planning on it."
We finish eating, take the bus and get to class. My second period brings me to William. "Happy Birthday, KittyCat!" he announces, giving me a kiss on the cheek.
"Thanks," I respond rather glumly.
"What's this? There are no sad frowns on this day."
"The Sorority wants to take me out tonight. It's a tradition."
"What's wrong with that?" William asks.
"I don't know. I just feel so far from that life. Last year I wouldn't have hesitated, but this year? Now?"
"Do any of them know, you know?"
I shake my head no. "I see no reason at the moment. I'm still getting used to the idea. My OB believes I probably won't even start showing until perhaps the end of my second trimester. I know I won't be able to hide things by graduation, but things are going okay right now. For me..."
"For Liam," William says with a frown.
"Yes, for Liam too. He has a real shot of going pro. I just don't see the need to rock the boat right now, you know?"
"I get it. I'm just saying the truth will set you free," William proclaims, with a flourish as his arms spread out wide like he is releasing an imaginary bird into flight.
"Yeah. Yeah. Not happening tonight."
"Then it looks like I'm coming over for dinner tonight to make certain you look fabulous," William tells me, and I giggle.
"Now that sounds doable," I admit.
William puts his hands over his ears. "TMI, Cat! Whatever you and Alex are into, leave me out of it."
I smack him lightly with my copybook and laugh out loud, earning a warning look from our teacher.