Summary: Calum being on tour while (Y/N) is pregnant, makes her insecurities hit the ceiling.
(Request: brideofharrystyles) (Words: 2.6k)
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My eyes open as I feel a sharp pain low on my stomach. My hand automatically goes to it, stroking the protruding bump in an effort to soothe the fetus, who is testing its moving limits.
"Mama's awake." I whisper, fixing my back so I can rest comfortably on the bed.
I stroke my thumb over it, feeling my baby move inside me. It is still weird, even after a month since the first kick, it still feels strange.
"Are you hungry?" I ask, waiting to see if the baby will react to my voice. I smile as I get up, stretching lightly as I cradle my belly and walk in the bathroom, humming a tune to fill the silence that is taking over the whole house.
Calum tried everything to push the promotion tour for later, at least for after I would have given birth, to be here and help me now that I have gotten heavy, but it was proved to be impossible. So while Calum travels the world, I get to stay back alone, with a baby in my belly that makes everything, from walking to dressing up, a resilience test.
I know he would give everything away and got to my side the moment I would ask for him, but at this point it is not something I want to do since it would cause everyone, from management to fans, to flip out and blame me for getting him away.
I slip out of my pajamas and turn the faucet of the tub on, deciding that a warm bath will help both me and my baby calm and feel rested, even though I could barely sleep for more than 3 hours last night.
I submerge myself in the water, leaning my head back and closing my eyes, hoping that the warmth will help the baby calm down, since kicking and moving make me feel weak and sick. I feel massive, but I know that this is just the price I have to pay to have my perfect little baby.
"Oh, thank God you are ok..." A voice snaps me out of my sleep. I open my eyes, finding Sierra hovering above the bathtub and clutching her chest.
"Dude, I am naked." I protest, rubbing my eyes.
"I have been calling you for the past 45 minutes, no answer. I was worried." Si tells me, handing me a towel from the hamper.
"I fell asleep. The baby was uneasy all night long." I groan, getting out of the tub and wrapping the towel around my body.
"I am sorry for that, sweety. But that shows that the baby is alright, right?" She asks me, knitting her eyebrows together.
"Yeah, I guess. But for now, I am craving a good nap without flinching in the middle of it." I chuckle and she laughs.
"Sorry, boo. I can't help with that now. But I can get you breakfast and cheer you up with some shopping. I know you haven't been out of the house for a while now, your brother told me last night..." Sierra smiles supportively at me, trying to get me to say yes to her suggestion.
"Wait, you talked with Luke last night?" I ask, looking at her confused as I move to brush my teeth.
"Yeah? Why?" She looks at me puzzled.
"I thought they would get back to the hotel when it would be late in here?"
"They did. But Luke wanted to check on me so he called..." She explains and I nod.
"What?" She asks me, moving to stand by my side.
"Nothing... Just... Calum hasn't called me yet. We spoke yesterday morning and I asked him if I should stay up and wait for a call. He told me it would be late and that he would be calling me in the morning, but I have no calls. And it is not like he is on the other side of the world, he is in New York, there is not much of a time difference..." I mumble, shrugging my shoulders as I stick the toothbrush in my mouth.
Sierra sighs, looking at me through the mirror.
"I am sure he had a reason. Calum adores you." She tries to reason me. I nod my head, yet the pit of my stomach tightens, making me feel worried. Sierra is right; Calum adores me, so this is not like him. And he certainly adores this baby, there has not been a single day ever since we found out I am pregnant that he has not talked to the bump, and sure, touring makes it harder for him to do that, but he still facetimed me and made me point the camera to the bump for the first few days.
I brush my teeth and spit out the toothpaste, splashing some water on my face to get my head straight.
"I'll go get dressed and then I want that breakfast you promised. Your niece is getting hungry." I point my finger at her, making her raise her hands in defeat.
"Fine. But the baby could be a boy." She mumbles, making me giggle.
I slip into one of the few dresses that I am comfortable in nowadays, sighing as I run my hands over the belly. I know that I am supposed to stay calm and in peace at this stage of my pregnancy, since the tiniest bit of temper can influence the baby. But the lack of contact with Calum makes me feel sad and anxious about what's going on.
I huff and walk out of the bedroom, going down the stairs carefully as my huge stomach makes it hard for me to see my feet and the steps I have to take.
"Are you ready, honey?" Sierra asks me, waiting for me at the end of the staircase.
"Do you mind if we stay in and order breakfast here? I don't feel like going out right now." I try to catch my breath as I reach the end.
"(Y/N), you have to go outside, baby. You have to catch some sun." Sierra says softly, placing her hand on my shoulder.
"I don't want to go out. I can't go out." I reply, feeling a slight tugging at my heartstrings.
"You can, baby. We will go slow, I promise. We will stop when you get tired, but I need you to go out. You need Vitamin D from the sun for the baby and you need to move around for your health." She reasons; Luke must have taught her well.
"I can't go out, Si. I look freaking huge and people recognize me and take pictures and make fun of me for looking this huge. And... And... Oh, God..." I stutter, feeling my eyes brimming with tears.
"What? What is it?" Sierra asks, worried about my condition now.
"Calum will see the pictures and he will realize he can do better than me. That he deserves better than me... And he will pick one of those gorgeous girls who surround him and I will be left to raise this baby by myself because Calum won't want anything to do with me..." I sob. Sierra makes me sit on a step of the stairs, assisting me to breathe regularly.
"Darling, you need to take a breath. Calum adores you and he adores this baby. He doesn't care about anyone else. Besides, even if he did, your brother is ready to murder anyone stupid enough to hurt you. So, Calum wouldn't dare go anywhere. Plus, even if Calum leaves, you and this baby will never be alone. Nonetheless, he is not leaving. And you really shouldn't worry about people taking pictures, because you still look like a goddamn Goddess, better than anyone else. I should be the one worrying about people taking pictures when I am with you, cause mama, you look hot and I look like a rat compared to you." She chuckles.
"You are overselling me now and it shows."
"I am not. You are glowing, you are gorgeous, honey. And I need you to shake those thoughts off because they are just messing with your head right now." She rubs her thumb over my knee, making me close my eyes and take a deep breath.
"I can't go out. But I can go in the backyard and soak in some sun while we eat breakfast." I suggest and Sierra sighs.
"It is better than nothing, I guess..." Sierra gives up, helping me get up from the stairs.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stick around? Maybe we can have a sleepover, like the good old days." Sierra suggests as she brings me a pillow on the couch so I can sleep here the night.
"I am sure, honey. No need to torture you. But, you are more than welcome to stay for a sleepover when your niece is born..."
"Could be nephew. And I know you want me to stay over then because you want someone to take care of the baby so you can sleep." Sierra punches my shoulder softly, sitting on the edge of the couch.
"If you need anything, at any time, I want you to call me and I will be here in a heartbeat, ok?" Sierra offers and I nod.
"Ok, love. I will." I smile at her, fake yawning to show her that I need her to go so I can sleep.
"Goodnight, mama. Goodnight, baby." She strokes my belly while she pecks on my forehead.
"Goodnight, auntie Sierra." I cheer, waving her off.
The moment the door is shut, I lay on my back and stare at the ceiling, stroking my stomach as I feel tears roll down my cheeks. Still no call from Calum, and it has never been more than 20 hours since the last time we spoke. So, combined with my crazy hormones, the fact that he is surrounded by gorgeous women while I am here, looking like I have a boulder in my stomach, makes my stomach ache and my head twinge.
"We will be fine..." I mumble as I sob, closing my eyes and hoping that I will be asleep soon.
But of course, with all the thoughts digging in my brain and the baby thinking that my intestines are some sort of soccer ball, I am still awake at 2 in the morning, stroking my stomach and looking at the ceiling, while Duke is snoring, sleeping on my feet.
I wish I could sleep as easily as the pup, I wish that my only worries would be going on enough walks and getting petted, I wish I could just shut the voices in my head off and just sleep.
I flinch up as I hear a sound coming from the door. Duke jumps up and runs to the front door, growling the whole time.
"Buddy, quiet down. You are going to wake mommy up..." I hear Calum whispering to the dog. I feel my heart flutter, trying to push myself off the couch as fast as the belly lets me.
"Calum... You are... here?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows together as he comes into my view.
"Hi. Did I wake you up?" He asks me, smiling at me as he rushes to the couch.
"No, I couldn't sleep. What are you doing in here?" I ask him as he leans down to press a kiss on my forehead.
"Sierra texted me and told me to get my ass on a plane and get here because my wife needs me... So I did." He explains, kneeling to press a kiss on my belly.
"I am not your wife." I chuckle, stroking his hair.
"Sierra knows stuff you don't..." He smiles at me, getting up from his knees and sitting on the couch next to me.
"Come here, baby." He opens up his arms, letting me lay my head on his chest.
"Why didn't you call me? It's been almost 2 days since you called me... I was worried." I whine, making him hum.
"I was trying to push things around so I can get my ass here. Sierra told me you have not been out of the house for a while. And that you are not feeling well. Baby, why didn't you tell me? Last time we talked you told me that everything is fine. I would have been here if you told me." Calum protests, stroking my cheek.
"Exactly because of that. I can't have people being mad at me because you are not where you are supposed to be." I explain.
"Screw everyone else. I want to be here for you. You are the love of my life. And you are pregnant with my child, so I want to be here. Please, let me be here for you." He sighs, turning my head so I am looking at him.
"It's hard, Cal... I am feeling..."
"Insecure. I know, Sierra told me. And I hate that, I hate that I am making you feel insecure because I am not here. But this is exactly why I need you to talk to me about how you are feeling. And because you are pregnant, your hormones blur your logic, baby. So, please don't put yourself through that, don't let yourself go through that alone..." Calum pleads, taking his soft eyes.
"Cal..." I begin but he places a finger on my lips.
"We are a team. We are in this together. You and me, princess. And later our baby. But before we get there, I need you to be able to talk to me. So I can help you through whatever is bothering you. Because I love you and when you love someone, that's what you do. And you would do the same if I was in your position. So, the next time you are not feeling well, please tell me so I can remind you that you are the most amazing human being, ok?" He kisses my nose softly, making me smile.
"Ok. Can we get to bed now? I am tired and I need to cuddle you. Plus, I think the baby needs to hear your voice. Apparently, my voice gets on her nerves. And she kicks harder when I get on her nerves." I pout, pointing at my belly. Calum places his hand on it protectively, making me feel the warmth on my skin.
"Alright. We can do that. You are not being a good girl to mama, are you? Well, didn't I tell you to be gentle to mommy while I am gone?" He lowers his head to my stomach, pressing his lips on it.
"Mommy needs some good sleep, so please, try not to kick her too hard, ok baby? Because if mama is tired, she gets cranky. And if she is cranky, Uncle Luke will kick daddy's ass. So, let's give mommy a good night of sleep." Calum says, leaning down to pick me up bridal style.
"I can walk. Or at least waddle to bed..." I mumble, wrapping my arms around his neck to support myself.
"I know. But you are a tad bit tired, so it's better if I can move you up. Maybe we need to use the downstairs guests' room from now on. So you don't have to go up and down the stairs all the time." He says, walking up the stairs.
"I am not that heavy..." I protest and Calum chuckles.
"No, I am not saying you are, baby. It's just safer." He lets me on my feet as we reach the top of the stairs, resting his hands on my hips.
"When do you have to go back?" I ask him.
"In 2 days. But that's the last time we talk about it. We are making the most of those 2 days." He whispers, kissing my lips softly.
"Ok. Get me to bed. I am sleepy." I smile, leaning my head to his shoulder.
"Ok, baby. Let's get you to bed." He guides me to our bedroom, letting his hand rest on my hip as we walk.