I don't know how long I've been here for. it feels like forever. I don't remember my home my life my family. I remember everything that's happened to me here with these men my life has no meaning. as I'm laying here chained and broken. I feel as if I just slipped away the only thing that will be missing is the fact I can no longer be abused and raped.
I hear the footsteps of the man they call rage cross the floorboards above. i hear the chatter. I here women and children screaming but what always fears me the most it's the silence that comes after the noise.
I come in and out of consciousness dreaming when I was little and carefree. just before I was taken just before I said my last goodbye to my father. school was just a normal day was meant to get picked up by one of the guys in the MC but they just never came. Another guy now called rage tells me daddy wanted him to pick me up he had another MC jacket I didn't know any different neither did my kindergarten teacher.
Who knew that would be the last day I ever saw my family my friends my MC. I haven't been down here all this time. I've been sold I've been taught how to fight how to protect myself and how to get myself out of situations.
But when you try and break free you try to run you try to hide they will break you. this is my punishment I was let out one day just to do the errands. I knew it was going to be too good to be true. didn't think someone would be following even though I'm trained and taught to search for my surroundings. I was just so excited to get out I knew I wasn't far from my dad's MC.
So now 3 years in this cold dark horrible smelly basement waiting for my next bashing my next rape. this time I hope it kills me. I feel that all my bones have been broken and replaced I feel my mind slipping. I feel exhausted mentally physically. I now know there's no such thing as savior there's no such thing that's my freedom.
I hear rage opening the door his footsteps creaking on the steps down the long staircase down to the basement. his breathing getting heavier and heavier the smell of of alcohol the stench of cigarettes the cackle he uses to taunt me with.
Today I'm going to die. today I want to die. no one will save me. no one would even care. as the outside world's concerned I died but I was 8. Life could not be anymore unfair. He's coming closer and closer now we're face to face I want to die. want to end my world. I need to make the rage come out in rage.
"Hey sugardaddy is going to show you a good time" I didn't answer him. I don't look at him I don't want to see the lust the hate. He forces me to look at him. his fingers on my chin directing me to his face. I spit in his face I'm not going to go down without my disrespect for the man unnoticed.
This makes rage build with anger. One big blow to my face. in the mean time with him hitting and kicking. I feel the blood truncal down my face. I feel my body starting to bruise. I hear a clunk of his belt. his pants falling to the ground. I sense him opening the condom packet. I feel the penetration while I scream in hate and discussed that this is the way I'm going to die. my emotions have broken me. I don't feel. I don't hate. I also don't love I just want to be gone.