"I'm thinking... Chris Hemsworth. Long blonde hair and everything," Amber brainstormed as Sehun looked thoughtfully at his empty canvas.
"Nah..."
"Scarlett Johansson?"
"Uhh... I don't like women."
"Ouch."
"Ugh, you're so useless."
"Oh please, fuck off. At least I'm actually trying to help your uninspired ass while I could be out doing... Literally anything else right now."
Sehun scoffed, "oh really? Like what?"
"Uh... Well, you know. Like, stuff."
"Oh like Victoria?"
Amber rolled her eyes, "No way in hell."
"Well bitch, I don't ask you to come here. And besides, what's going on between you two?"
"She's my friend," Amber clarified, "Besides it's not like I've been having anyone else to hang out with lately," she added, glaring at her best friend.
"Ew, stop. You're being salty and your salt is diffusing into the air and ruining my chakras."
"What chakras? You can't even think of anything."
"That's because you won't shut up that big smelly mouth of yours."
She gasped, "What did you say to me? I promise I won't hesitate to nuke you-"
"UGH! Just give me a moment to think!"
Amber choked back a snicker at his outburst but stayed silent nonetheless. Her friend was such a drama queen. He let out a long sigh and closed his eyes in concentration. The door to the art room swung open and footsteps walked in just as Sehun slowly opened his eyes. He was met with a handsome, beaming face that looked like it was sent straight out of heaven.
"Hey-"
"You. Sit down." Sehun cut him off, pointing at the chair at the center of the room.
Lay frowned at him in confusion. "Excuse me?"
"Now."
"Are you serious?" Amber cocked a brow, pointing at Lay in disbelief, "That's what you wanna draw? And you refused Chris Hemsworth?"
"The Art Gods have sent him to me for a reason Amber."
"Can you guys please stop talking about me in third person?" Lay crossed his arms, annoyed.
"Whatever. I'm out," Amber exited the almost empty art room, shutting the door behind her.
Sehun cleared his throat, "Are you gonna sit or what?"
Lay chuckled, "If you're gonna use me as your model at least ask nicely."
"Fine," Sehun groaned uncomfortably, "Would you please plop your ass down on that cold piece of metal so I can use you for my own personal benefit and gain?"
Lay blinked in disbelief for a moment before shrugging and doing as he was told. "I'll take it."
"Why are you here anyway?"
"I was bored, was passing by and thought I'd say hi."
"Why?"
Lay chuckled, "What, I thought we were friends now."
Sehun stared at him blankly, "We are not friends." But you're just in love with me. Just like everybody else.
"Well, maybe not yet."
Sehun shrugged as his pencil began to fly across his canvas. "Don't move," he muttered, "or talk."
Lay rolled his eyes but remained still after that. They stayed like that for a while until Sehun decided he had enough to start off from. He grinned to himself.
"Yes, this is perfect."
"You mean like I'm perfect?"
Sehun scoffed, "No way. You just inspired me is all."
"Really? How so?"
"You see, I don't look for particularly beautiful faces. It's just about having an artistic eye. Some faces are just unique and evoke a certain aura, a specific emotion. Those are the kinds of faces I want to put on my canvas, I want to capture that feeling and put it on paper for the rest of the world to see."
Lay pondered over that for a moment, "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Of course you don't," Sehun scoffed, "You're not an artist."
"You're rude," Lay chuckled, "You said you like drawing unique faces... What's unique about mine?"
"Uh... Perhaps the fact that you always look high?" Sehun said like it was the most obvious thing. Lay laughed.
"That's what they all say. I don't even smoke weed. Often," He added after a moment of thought, "You ever done a self portrait before?"
Sehun scrunched his face up, "Ew, no. Why the hell would I wanna do that?"
"You're pretty unique yourself."
He scoffed, "Nah, I'm not... unique. I don't see it."
"Then maybe you should start seeing yourself through someone else's eyes."
"Huh... someone else's eyes?" He murmured to himself. What the hell is that supposed to mean?
"You know, someone with an artistic eye. Much like yourself."
Sehun thought over it for a while, before shrugging it off. "Must be the weed talking."
Lay chuckled, standing up and shoving his hands into his pockets, "Anyway, I should get going."
"Why did you really come?"
"I honestly just wanted to say hi. I don't know, I think you're cool, Sehun."
"Really?" Sehun fidgeted, looking down uncomfortably.
"Yeah," Lay smiled. "I'll see you around... I don't know what you drew but I hope you made me pretty," he chuckled before exiting the room. Sehun smiled, eyeing his canvas. Lay was handsome, albeit a little creepy. But just as Kai said, he seemed harmless. Although Sehun had never really paid attention to him until that day, he could tell.
He really did have something special.
Sehun sat quietly on the bleachers, earphones shoved in his ears as he sketched into his notebook. Kai and his teammates were having a friendly match at the basketball court after school and Sehun thought he'd stop by to watch. He ogled his boyfriend who was too engrossed in his game to even notice him there, admiring his toned arms that glistened with sweat, the way his purple jersey ever so deliciously clung to his body, the way he panted and yelled instructions at his teammates. Oh boy, I could totally jump him right now. If there weren't like fifteen other people in this room.
He sketched into his notebook, wanting to remember how good Kai looked in his jersey. Mm yes, this would do for some nice roleplay indeed. I'll be the coach, and he'll be my student-
"Hi."
Sehun looked up, wondering why he wasn't invisible enough with his black hoodie on. But he was even more shocked to see who was standing before him.
He glanced around him, although he knew there was no one sitting there but himself, just to make sure that she was actually talking to him. "Hi me?"
Victoria smiled, tucking some loose strands of hair behind her ear, "Yeah, you. Mind if I sit next to you?"
Yes. Yes I very much do.
All he did was shrug, and Victoria wasted no time in plopping down next to him. He awkwardly fondled his pen, wondering what the hell she wanted from him. Of course Sehun really respected her for what she did, but he still didn't know her that well and didn't feel comfortable around her at all.
"Nice sketch you got there."
Instinctively, he shut his notebook and hugged it to his chest.
"Sorry, didn't mean to be nosy or anything. It really is beautiful."
Sehun mentally urged himself to get a nice word out. She definitely didn't deserve him being rude to her. But instead, all he could say was, "Don't you like... hate me or something?"
Victoria pursed her lips, not seeming very taken aback with the question.
"I guess I should, huh?" she chuckled, "You know... I used to sit here a lot after school and watch him play. I don't know why I found myself coming here again today."
Sehun stayed silent as they watched the game, the sound of the teammates' shouts and the basketball bouncing echoing in the gymnasium.
"And no... I don't hate you. I take one look at Kai and how happy you make him... And that makes me think I can never hate you."
Sehun wasn't sure why, but hearing that actually made him feel kind of relieved.
"Th-Thank you," he muttered.
"Don't mention it..." she smiled, "But, I do have to ask you something. I need some advice."
"Ask me?" he looked at her incredulously.
"Yeah. About someone you know really well. It's Amber... I made a mistake. And I think she's really mad at me but she's pretending to be okay. And she's been avoiding me like the plague. I... I want to know how I can get through to her."
Sehun blinked. Oh, so that's what this is about. Of course she didn't just come here to talk about the weather.
"Are you in love with my best friend?"
She widened her eyes at the sudden question, but Sehun seemed serious, his gaze unflinching.
"I... no. I mean, yes. Not really? I don't know..." she sighed, "She's just... really important to me. I don't want to hurt her... I want her to trust me."
That's gonna be a tough one, sweetie. Victoria actually did look very desperate for help, and she seemed sincere enough. And she did give up her boyfriend so they could be together. He figured the least he could do was help her out.
He opened his sketchbook and skimmed through pages upon pages of sketches, before stopping at one. It was a simple pencil sketch of Amber.
"I drew this two years ago. First sketch I ever made for Amber. I still remember that day- freshman year, she was sitting alone at the cafeteria, wearing her headphones and her snapback backwards, with her boring black hoodie and jeans. I remember thinking- Lone wolf. Maybe even wounded wolf. That's the feeling she gave me as I was drawing her. And then she just looked at me, and I looked back. I didn't even feel awkward or anything, even when she smiled at me. That was the first time I saw her smile," Sehun found himself smiling at the memory, lightly tracing the sketch with his hand.
"And then the next day, she came and sat next to me during lunch. We didn't talk much at first. But then that started to change and we eventually got really close. She was the first person I ever actually felt comfortable with at school. And she felt comfortable with me."
Victoria nodded slowly, eyes narrowing in confusion. "That's... A really beautiful story and all," she paused, "but how does that help me?"
Sehun stiffened. Yeah how does that even remotely have anything to do with what she asked? Shit. Okay, hurry up and think of something really deep and meaningful!
"I was getting there, woman," he huffed, "Anyway. So like, we got really close and stuff. Cuz we were both sad, lonely and antisocial. Moral of the story is she really appreciates boring pathetic losers like herself." He finished proudly. Ha, Amber, you my bitch. I might as well be a hammer because I just nailed it. I literally know her like the back of my hand. But how well do I even know the back of my hand? Which side is the back anyways? Is it like the posterior side according to the standard anatomical position? And why is that even a common saying? Sehun frowned in concentration, staring at his hand.
"So... I'm supposed to be a loser?" Victoria quirked a brow.
"Yeah, pretty much," he shrugged, "Oh and you have to be really honest and loyal and stuff. And super committed. Possibly even more than marriage."
Victoria's frown deepened, seeming even troubled than she was before.
"Okay, could you maybe talk to her for me? Try to get some information out? I just want to know how she really feels about me."
"That depends. Why is she avoiding you?"
"I, well... I may or may not have crossed a line. She's been distant ever since."
Sehun went quiet. Something tells me she totally sucked faces with my best friend. I don't even know how I feel about that. Regardless, she was still waiting for an answer and he was willing to help her out.
"Sure, I could try talking to her."
"That would be great. Thank you, Sehun."
He shrugged, waving her off. "Don't worry about it. But whatever happens... You better not hurt my best friend."
Victoria gave him a grateful smile, "I don't intend to. Not anymore."
She then stood up, getting ready to leave. She looked out to Kai at the court, who looked up towards them and waved with a wide smile. Sehun grinned and waved back cheerfully. Victoria smiled, waving as well.
"He's a good guy," she said, still looking at him, "And he deserves a someone like you."
Sehun looked up at her. The lights of the gymnasium shone down on her face as she smiled genuinely, her hair softly blowing with the wind.
Wow. Now that's a face I'd like to draw.
"Thanks," he said. She simply nodded and turned on her heel, walking away.
"That fall really did a number on my wrist," Kai complained as he walked together with Sehun down the empty hallway, making their way to the art club room.
Sehun instinctively took hold of his hand, gently massaging his wrist.
"It was still funny as shit to watch
though."
"Gee, thanks," Kai rolled his eyes. Sehun's soft palm felt great against his throbbing wrist, so he definitely wasn't complaining. "I saw you talking to Victoria."
"That so?"
"Yeah... Everything okay? Did she say anything to bother you?"
"Not really... She was nice enough. I don't think she hates me nearly as much as she should."
Kai laughed, "Yeah. Victoria's nice like that."
The sound of some light rustling caught Sehun's attention, making him instinctively withdraw his hand and stop to look over his shoulder.
"Did you hear that?"
"Hear what?"
"Sounded like... Someone."
Kai looked around in confusion, but clearly there was no one around.
"I think we're good. Unless there's like ghosts or something."
"Yeah, maybe it's one of Amber's demon friends," Sehun shrugged before continuing their stride. When they finally made it to the art club room, Sehun turned the knob and walked in. The room was empty and the lights were off, so everyone must have already gone home. He made his way over to his usual spot, grabbing a bunch of his brushes and shoving them into his backpack.
"Is that Lay?" Kai asked with a frown as he eyed the fresh painting on his canvas.
"That? Oh yeah. He stopped by today so I used him as a model. What do you think?"
"It's nice," Kai said hesitantly, "but like, why him?"
Sehun cocked a brow, "You do realize I draw a lot of random people, right? It's kind of my thing."
Kai pouted slightly, looking perturbed. "I guess... It's just... I don't know."
A wide grin stretched across Sehun's lips. "I'd say someone's starting to get a little jealous."
"Maybe," Kai smirked, closing in on his boyfriend, "Is that gonna be a problem?"
"Not unless you make it one," Sehun felt his face heat up at the close proximity. Not that he minded. He'd been craving some alone time with Kai. But at the same time he couldn't help feeling nervous.
Kai placed a hand on his cheek, eyeing him intensely. "It doesn't help that you look so delightfully gorgeous today."
Sehun found himself blushing even harder but tried to keep an indifferent front. "Just today?"
"Especially today," Kai grinned and leaned in to place a sweet kiss on Sehun's lips before backing away. Which, to his dismay, left him a little disappointed. A little more wouldn't have hurt you know... I'm not five!
Resisting the urge to stick his tongue out at him, he quickly packed his things and put his backpack on. When he was done, he found Kai staring intensely at the painting.
"Kai."
Immediately diverting his gaze, he quickly nodded, "Yeah, let's go."
"Forty eight.... Forty nine... Fifty!" Kai groaned, putting down the dumbbells as he panted for breath.
"Someone's out of practice," Shownu commented.
"It's been a while since I hit the gym."
"Same here," Kris agreed as he took a sip of water, wiping the sweat off his forehead.
"I don't even remember the last time we got together like this. Y'all have been too busy."
Kai pursed his lips, not having told his friends that he was now dating Sehun. Nor the fact that he broke up with Victoria. They probably assumed something happened since they hadn't been around eachother for a while, but no one really tried to ask. He wasn't really sure what to tell them either, but at some point he was going to have to be honest with them. He just didn't know when.
"Yeah, I've been putting in a lot of work with the art thing. And Kyungsoo's been really helping me out." Kris said, a wide grin on his face. It was clear he loved what he was doing.
"Is that so? Last time I checked the guy couldn't stand you." Kai mentioned.
"He warmed up to me eventually."
"Maybe a little too warm." Kai teased. Kris was perhaps the only one who was very open about his sexuality, so it was alright to tease him. Kai couldn't help but envy him for that.
"Look who's talking," he smirked, "What's the deal with you and Sehun, huh?"
Kai gulped, "What do you mean? We're just friends."
"I see you making googly eyes with him all the time."
"You're ridiculous."
"Dude, Kai? No way. He's way too in love with Victoria. And last time I checked he's not gay."
"Sexuality is a spectrum," Kris said confidently, "And besides, I barely see you and Victoria together lately."
Kai gulped again, and this time his friends didn't miss the nervous glint in his eyes.
"Yeah, now that I think about it... Did you guys fight again?" Shownu asked curiously.
"Uh, it's not really like that... Can we just please not talk about this."
"Why not? Dude, you never talk to us. We're your friends, we're not gonna judge you." Kris said with a frown.
"Yeah, it's like everytime we talk to you about something personal, you just shrivel up and get all distant and evasive."
Kai sighed, scratching the back of his head. "It's not like I don't trust you guys or something..."
"It looks exactly like that. What are you so scared of? I literally tell you everything that goes on in my life. I mean, I actually really do like Kyungsoo. I haven't been able to stay away from him for the past couple of weeks. There, I said it!"
"Bro, what are you trying to imply?"
"That you never want to tell us anything!"
"Can we just get back to working out? I'm tired and I don't want to have this conversation right now."
"There you go, evading again." Shownu scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. "Chicken."
Kai tried to look anywhere but at them, because he knew he'd just feel guilty. He never was totally honest with his friends, even though they were always honest with him. He just couldn't help it. He knew he was being an asshole but he couldn't do anything about it.
Kris stared at him for a while in disappointment. "Yes he is. And you know what?" He paused, glaring at him. "Chicken is not my style."
Kai watched in disbelief as Kris walked away and got on the treadmill. Shownu crossed his arms, looking between the two of them before shrugging.
"I don't know what's going on with you Kai, and frankly I don't think I ever did. But you don't have to be scared to talk to us. And we'll always be here for you, no matter what. Either way, no one's gonna force you to speak."
And with that, he also walked away, leaving Kai to slump his shoulders in defeat.
About an hour later, they were all done with their sets. They showered and got a clean change of clothes before heading out of the gym. Shownu was the first to leave, saying he had a few errands to run, leaving Kris and Kai in awkward silence.
"So you gonna head straight back home or...?" Kai asked awkwardly. Kris didn't even spare him a glance before replying.
"Nah I'm actually gonna go see Kyungsoo and get something to eat."
"That's nice."
"Uh-huh," Kris muttered, looking down at his phone as he texted.
"Hey look," Kai sighed, "I didn't mean to upset you guys. Especially not you man, you're my best friend."
"Kai do you remember when I first came out to you?" Kris asked suddenly, staring straight at his best friend, "I was scared shitless. I thought no one was ever going to accept me, that I was going to look like a freak. I knew my parents weren't going to. You were the first one I told. You know why?"
Kai looked down at the ground, unable to meet his friend's eyes. "Why?"
"Because it was the hardest time of my life back then and I felt like I could breathe a little easier around you, man. It just sucks that I can literally tell you anything without batting an eyelash, and you can't even trust me enough to be honest with me."
That one actually did get to him. He remembered how nervous Kris was back then, how hard it was for him to come out. How scared he was of losing his friends.
"Kris," Kai sighed, "I'm sorry man. I really am. I just... I have anxiety, okay? I get so scared of showing my true self. I'm scared of not being accepted the way I am and losing all my friends and... Ending up all alone. I can't even help it. I fake it more often than I'm not and I know that's horrible because you're my best friend and you don't deserve that. I really wish I could change. But I can't."
Kris' gaze softened. "You never even told me about that."
Kai shrugged. "It's just hard for me to talk about myself. The reason I got so close to Sehun was because I could always just be myself around him, without my anxiety weighing down on me."
"Not gonna lie, that kinda hurts."
"Yeah..." Kai had no idea what to say anymore. They had been friends for years now, and he he hadn't been honest with him like he'd been with Sehun. Of course that was going to hurt.
"You like him, don't you?"
Kris was an airhead, but definitely not an idiot. Kai knew that he couldn't hide it anymore. The least he deserved at that point was his honesty.
"Everything that happened was out of my control. I couldn't help it when I got attracted to him and started to fall for him. I couldn't help it when things between Victoria and I gradually crumbled. Not until she broke up with me."
"So you guys really ended it huh?"
"Yeah," Kai answered, gauging his friend's reaction. He couldn't get a read on him though, his face was completely blank.
"Well that was gonna happen sooner or later. No offence but I liked you guys way better as friends," he said with a shrug.
"Seriously, dude? You never told me that!"
"Yeah you don't get to give me shit about that," Kris chuckled. For once it felt like the tension around them loosened. "And Sehun? Well I barely know the guy but for what it's worth, I think you guys are cute together."
Kai let out a deep exhale, feeling a huge weight being lifted off his shoulders. "Y-You do?"
"Yeah," Kris grinned, "Actually, I'm thinking I'm gonna cancel my date with Kyungsoo just to hear this story. I wanna know all about it."
"Can we not?" Kai groaned.
"Nope, no escape. Come on, let's go get some burgers and fries." Kris threw an arm around his best friend, tugging him along.
"We just worked out, dude."
"Yeah, exactly why we need to get those calories back."
Sehun walked into the art room the next morning, yawning lazily. He plopped his bag down on the table at his usual spot and took a seat, staring at the painting that he'd left there from yesterday. He still hadn't finished painting it in, and he wondered what kind of colours would suit Lay the best.
As he was deep in thought about what to do next, his eyes shifted down to a note on his easel that he hadn't even noticed was sitting there against his canvas.
He curiously picked it up and read it.
Love the way you smile.
- Z
Frowning, he turned the note around and found a picture stuck to the back. A picture of Sehun. At the cafeteria, seated at his usual booth, smiling like he was talking animatedly to someone. He was wearing the same outfit from the previous day.
His face contorted, heart pounding in his chest as he looked around the empty art room in disbelief before staring back down at the note, wondering if this was some sort of prank.
"Who the fu-"
_______________________________________
Uh, surprise?
Yeah. It's been three whole years since I updated. Shame on me. I ain't even gonna make any excuses. I remember saying in the very beginning that I wasn't gonna abandon this book and that I was going to finish it, no matter how long it took. Well I'm still sticking to that promise, although maybe I took that last part a little too literally lol. Pretty sure this whole Coronavirus lockdown was God telling me to sit my ass down and finish this godamn story.
Well here I am! Better late than never. I'm back and I'm gonna be updating The Me In Your Canvas more regularly now. I literally have nothing to occupy my time, hence no excuses. I am COMMITTED. Feel free to beat me up if I do take too long again.
Anyways, I really hope you guys liked this chapter. I've been working on it for like a month now. Part of the reason I took so long to update was because I wasn't really sure where the story was going, what conflict to introduce and how the characters would develop from it, so I really took my time to think about it and come up with a bunch of new ideas. I hope most of you will still be here to keep reading!
PS I also published this new Sekai short story, it's a completed Two-Shot so you won't have to worry about my late-ass updates lol. It's a really cute fluffy story and I really hope you guys could go check it out, I promise it'll be worth your while! It's called "Under The Street Lights", you'll find it under my profile.
Okay I'm gonna stop talking now. I'll see you guys next time!
Don't forget to vote and comment 🙈