James woke in the middle of the night to the sound of Natasha in the bathroom, washing her face and getting ready for bed. He peered at the time on his phone, and then closed his eyes once he saw it was only just 3am, hoping to slip back to sleep undisturbed. However, after she didn't appear in the bedroom a further ten minutes later, he got up to go check on her when he was unable to rest.
Her hair was now pulled up in a pony tail, but she was still fully clothed, leaning against the bathroom counter with her arms folded. Her head was dipped down and her eyes were closed as if she was asleep standing upright, and the thought made him smile. He leaned in the doorway, speaking softly so he didn't startle her.
"Come on little party animal," he chuckled, "Let's get you off to bed,"
She smiled softly as she opened her eyes to look up at him, standing straight once more. He reached out his hand to her and she took it, moving towards him as he lead her back to bed.
James left her to change as he got her some water, and returned with it just as she threw her dress in the laundry pile. He handed her the glass to sip, and went to climb back into bed before she stopped him, holding his face in her hand. "Love you."
"Love you too," he smiled in return, guiding an arm around her waist and pressing a kiss to her lips. "Good night?"
"I'll tell you all about it in the morning." She assured him, lowering them into bed and curling up beside him. He nodded, eyes already closing, and it wasn't long until he was breathing steadily in a deep sleep, and she was left wide awake.
***
Natasha was awake first, but James wasn't far behind, heading into the kitchen just as she'd finished making breakfast for them both.
"Morning," he murmured sleepily, kissing her cheek before getting them some orange juice. She murmured the same greeting, sitting down with him to eat as they listened to the radio and had their usually relaxing Sunday morning routine. Only once he had finished eating did she rise from the table and head around to him.
"You're done? You've barely touched a thing." He said, moving his chair back so she could sit in his lap while she shook her head.
"I'm not hungry." She looped he arms around his neck. "But I need to tell you something...about last night."
He immediately had a flash of concern in his blue eyes, but held her all the same. "Did something happen? Are you alright?"
"I'm okay." She assured, looking him in the eyes. "But I need you to trust me on this."
"Okay," he breathed, with a slight hesitation.
"It'll be fine." She promised, taking a breath. "My friends, all of them...they know about us. About you."
His eyes widened in realisation, and she knew he was clocking off each of her friends from memory and knew he perhaps taught at least one of them. His hands loosened around her, and her heart lurched in her throat as he muttered "Fuck." Under his breath.
Maybe this wouldn't be fine.
"They won't tell anyone, or report it or anything like that." She assured, "I wanted you to know-"
"How did they find out, Natasha?"
She took a breath "If I cut right to the point, a few heard me mention your name to Wanda, they wanted to know who you were and apparently my other friend saw us on the subway together. They eventually just...put two and two together."
He rubbed his face in one hand, leaving the other free for her to hold in one hand. "I had to tell them," she sighed softly. "It would have been worse if they found out on their own and started gossiping about it,"
"You don't think they'll do that now?" He grumbled.
She breathed a sigh, knowing full well she would be the hot topic of conversation amounts them. Nothing bad, nothing too bitchy, but she had to admit it was a scandal she would want to talk about if it wasn't her own.
"What would it change if they told, well, your manager or something?" She asked, tracing over his knuckles. "What would you do?"
"I don't know," he answered honestly, "I don't know what I would do, deal with the consequences I guess."
Natasha gave a soft nod, avoiding eye contact. "Do you want to know what I would do?"
James looked up at her, giving her hand a squeeze in response.
"Leave." She shrugged. "If it meant you could keep your job and we could just sweep it under the rug, I'd leave."
James blinked, then gently guided her face to look at him. "Don't ever do that. Don't leave because of me. You're amazing at your study, top of your class, and you love it."
Natasha merely shrugged, "There are other degrees for other jobs,"
"There's other men." He countered.
"James!" She snapped slightly, but her tone wasn't fully of menace, only hurt. "So, what? If everyone finds out that's it? We're done?" She asked, her voice more level.
He shook his head. "No... No of course not." He pulled her closer when he wrapped an arm around her. "You asked me what I would do, well, I'd just deal with the consequences."
She rested her head against his. "You don't really have to worry about it, not now. They know better than to tell anyone."
He nodded, not convinced but kissed her cheek all the same.
***
Several weeks passed before James was consumed with the worry once again. Finals week was the most stressful week of the year, for everyone involved, but at least it was nearing the end of an academic year. He could mark his papers, and disappear to Hawaii in a few weeks with Natasha and forget about any potential worries for a while.
He was counting down the minutes to a stress free summer, he just had to get through these last few weeks.
Returning some books to the library, he disappeared into the realms of high shelves to picks up a few new novels to see if they had anything worth teaching. He paused down one row, glancing at titles until he caught a series of hushed whispered from the next row of shelves that made dread creep up his spine.
"-Professor Barnes." He heard first, peaking his attention across the shelves of books.
"I mean, he's actually really hot. He can't be that old, maybe 30?" Val whispered to Carol, who was absentmindedly picking a book off a shelve and skim reading the first page.
"Sure, but honestly I've never seen Nat so happy. Plus she's not an idiot, stop worrying about her."
"I'm just worried she's having a pre- quarter midlife crisis" Val shrugged and Carol changed books.
"That's not a thing," she scoffed in response.
"Here me out, dating a man twice her age while kissing your best friend of however many years? Sounds like she's having a crisis."
"Or maybe there's more to the story than we know." Carol snapped the book shut. "Clint and Nat have always been close. Maybe Wanda's boyfriend got it wrong."
"You know as well as I do that what he saw, is probably true." Val shrugged.
"Well, good for her." Carol picked up another book to add to her pile. "We're young, making mistakes is part of discovering what you want."
James held onto the shelf for a moment, a small fire of rage behind in his gut. He quickly left the library without any new books, avoiding looking back to see if her friends had seen him. It was just after lunch and he had no class for another hour, so he left without his jacket and belongings, straight to her apartment a few streets away.
He always thought Natasha telling her friends would ruin him, his reputation. He hadn't even considered the possibility it would ruin them both.